Understanding Rachel Part 4

Rachel plodded in the door, her eyes still wet from tears. She carelessly threw her coat over a chair, and kicked off her work shoes. Her little dog Snoopy came bounding toward her, wagging her little tail furiously.Rachel picked up the small dog, and went to a couch. She stroked and cuddled with the dog for a few minutes, and then went to grab her phone.

“Gotta call Tayna.”

She let the phone ring, and when Tanya said “hello” she said, “Hey girlfriend" her voice was crackling as she spoke.

"Heya Rachel, and I'm a guy remember." Tayna said.

Usually Tayna’s teasing made her laugh, but she couldn’t manage one today.

"Yeah right you’re a boy and I'm a monster!"

"Say what?" Tayna replied.

“It was my day to pick up Sally from school. Last week, I forgot to change my top and some kids at her school realized I was wearing girl clothes, but nothing was said, so I let it go. But when I went to pick up Sally today, and some kids called me a monster. I cant believe this happened!”

“Okay, sweetie. Calm down. Where’s Sally now?”

“With her mom. I was able to drop her off early today. Not that I dont love spending time with her, but ...”

“You needed to deal with this without little ears listening.”

“Yeah.”

“Listen hon. You dont know for sure this had anything to do with them noticing your top. Why borrow trouble?”

“But what if they’re teasing Sally?”

“Has she seem upset when she sees you?”

“No ...”

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it. Come on, this is so minor, why are you freaking out?”

“She finishes school for the year next month. And that’s when I’m supposed to come out to her. I’m really scared, Tayna. What if she hates me?”

“Then you deal with it at the time, hon. You’re a good parent, and she’ll see that. And she’ll also see how much happier you are being Rachel, and that will help too.”

“Okay. But if she rejects me, I’m putting Rachel back in the closet for good.”

“Sweetie, you cant. Didnt you try and man up for years? How well did that work? And now that you’re letting the real you out, you think you could ever put on the mask full time and survive?”

“I ... I.. “

“I want you to promise me you wont do that. Because frankly, if you tried I fear it would kill you. Promise?”

“Okay. Fine. But you’ve got to help me girlfriend.”

“What girlfriend. I’m a boy, remember?”

“Dont hon. If trying to be a boy would hurt me, it would kill you quicker.”

“Okay, okay. Just for today, I’ll wont fight being a girl.”

“Thanks sweetie. I should go rest, I’m really tired.”

“Okay Rachel. Take care.”

“Bye.” Rachel hung up the phone, and laid down on a couch.

“Thank God for friends like Tayna.” she whispered, and then closed her eyes and fell asleep.