A conversation with mother

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A conversation with mother, by Dorothy Colleen

I lay in my bed, trembling. My secret was out, and now I would have to face the music. How could I have been so stupid? Now my mom thought I was a thief, or worse. She came back into the room, looking like she had gained control of herself. “All right. I have had my scream, so now we can talk about this. First, I owe you an apology. A few moments ago, I reacted quite badly. I even accused you of being a thief. Well, I know better than that. You tell me you didn’t steal those nightclothes, I believe you. So, now I want you to tell me why. Why did you set yourself up to get caught?“ I said, “What? I didn’t want you to find out.“ She just smiled and said “You asked for a cup of hot chocolate, you get that nightie on, and then you climb into bed and try and use your sheet to hide it. What would you call it?” I stopped shaking my head, and thought about it. Had I wanted it to come out? “Well, we will leave that for now. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Slowly, shaking, I forced myself to get the words out. I told her I had been dreaming of dressing up, maybe even being a girl since I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. “And you didn’t tell me?” She asked. “I was ashamed, mom, and scared you would be ashamed of me too.” Sweetie, you are my child. I don’t claim to understand what you are going through, but I would never hate you.” “So what happens now?” I asked. She sighed. “ If you have been dealing with this as long as you say, trying to ignore it isn’t going to work, but I don’t know what we can do. We need to find an expert in this, there must be someone who can help us both.. Now I want you to get some sleep. Tomorrow, after school, I hopefully have an idea what to do next.”

And for the first time in my 16 years of life, I slept well.

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Comments

Concise...

Clear exposition, and even some nuance. Good job. Liked the last line.

Eric

I only wish...

Andrea Lena's picture

....I had this conversation when I was sixteen instead of 42. Thank you for this...it touches my heart, dear one.


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Acceptance

ALISON

There is nothing to beat the acceptance of a parent!Thank you!

ALISON

Lucky boy or girl!

I was caught a few times when I was young by my parents. They never really said anything, but simply showed by gestures and by slightly angry faces that dressing up in female clothes is WRONG! To this day I haven't told them eventhough they must know I wear diapers (I am a sissy baby now - not so much a crossdresser or something I was at the beginning) and tights all the time. And I am 45 years old...

I just hope that today there are lots and lots of parents that are like the MOTHER in this story!

Hugs,
Sissy Baby Paula and Snowball (my toy puppy)

I actually had this conversation

with my birth mother when I was 11 and how it turned out is what Chrissie - Girl Interrupted is about. Thank you for sharing.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

I too had this converation

KristineRead's picture

I too had this converation with my mother, when I was about 13 or 14, the convesation is the beginning of my story Jason's Story. Though it deviates from reality once the professionals come into it.

Nicely written!

Hugs,

Kristy

Not over the top emoting.

Hello Dorothy:

In looking at your information, you have been here close to a year but only started publishing this month? When I read what you have writen, I feel that you are in a lot of pain, and I do so understand it. Lots of us have come here to find comaradarie, read stories, work out our pain and eventually find friends.

I would not worry about going over the top because I currently hold the title as Emotive Queen here. :) No one can posibly think that they have suffered any more than I did. I found that no, I have not suffered as much as some, and over the years find most of my life to be quite happy, though it took time.

Welcome, it is pretty warm and fuzzy here :)

Gwen

A conversation with mother

Was that it took for this child to find peace.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine