TopShelf Blogs

Can Not Wear A Bra.


In the last year, it has become painfully obvious that I can not wear a bra. To do so soon manifests pain in my rib cage like my ribs are broken, and that even with a very loose bra. I've even been fitted with a so called Transgender bra and it does the same thing. I'm a 42 b. Now, I just wear a T shirt under whatever top I'm going to wear and that seems to conceal my nipples enough. Because of my very conservative Christian and Muslim background, I am accustomed to wearing clothes a size too large.

Still broke but feeling hopeful :) Need cash for immediate bills

Blog About: 


Thanks everyone for meeting our May goals. We're going to ask for an early start on our June goals because of reasons below.

The service on our debt is killing us. I'm afraid I'm going to have to temporarily increase how much we ask people for. I don't want to do this but I really can't borrow any more money. If you can help, it will be greatly appreciated. I'm going to separate the Hatbox into two counts, one for expenses and the other for debts. 25% of what is brought in from gifts and subscriptions will go toward debts and the count in the sidebars will reflect this.

Our ebook business is growing, check us out on Amazon at: — We believe that producing ebooks for the TG community and eventually for a wider audience will eventually solve our financing problems.

Thanks and hugs to everyone,
Erin and the gang



All those people who claim not to have a life have seen fit to give them to me!!! I began this latest offering in early December hoping to have my annual seasonal fluff ready. At this point (tonight) I am sick of looking at it. I'm not quite sure I even like it. But dealing with three little men and one really huge child, as well as a minor medical issue, I decided to simply toss it to the to speak. I must admit it is somewhat of a provincial tale but then again so am I.

Thank God For Friends and Family

Blog About: 


I am extremely fortunate to count Dorthy Coleen and Rebeca Jane,and Arwen of Arwen Arwen's tears as my friends. I have my share of bad dreams, they have been wearing me down in the form of depression, I take it on faith I will recover from my stroke, I don't feel I have any other choice, My phone is my lifeline, Rachael Ann, Long time user of BCTS stepped forward to give me someone to talk to. I feel guilty keeping Rebeca from her writing, as I enjoy it too. But it got me through the night. As did Dot on the BCTS chat room on a particularly bad night.

Annoyed and really sorry

As some of you are aware, I don't have my own internet connection, I have a bit of a time share thing at my parents - hence only uploading stuff on Sunday and Wednesday. (i'm writing this on my phone if you were wondering) it really is my lifeline through which I publish and indeed some sites I can't access fully through the phone (ebay, Amazon etc)

I really wanted to have something for you soon

I thought I had solved my block on the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but unfortunately, a really bad PTSD attack last night has left me with no spoons for writing. And if I dont get it done by the middle of next week, well, I'm gonna be a tad busy with my daughter going in for surgery on Wednesday.

Sorry ...

More Hits from Amazon and KDP


Just received an email from Kindle Direct Publishing, which deleted itself when I closed the email.

They have completed their review and the cancellation of my account and termination of my contract with KDP is now permanent. I will receive no royalties, and I am permanently banned from opening another account with them or publishing any more books with them. No further correspondence or discussion of this matter will occur.

I contacted Amazon and they said they'll look into it, but I am not hopeful.

Still not believing this happened.

I just wanted to share...Especially after the last six years since I ‘came out’ and started my transition. For over two years I had almost no contact with my children, but after a long fight I regained custody of my two oldest... Starting with my oldest two and a half years ago, then my middle last year... They both had been struggling with a parent who was never there (Not me I wasn’t allowed to be there), and had basically been raising themselves. They both moved down here with me struggling to maintain a 2.4 and 2.1 GPA...

My solution for the funding problem.

Every month Erin has to BEG on bended knee, for money to help keep Top Shelf functioning and with the exception of a few who regularly go far past what might be expected, the contributions trickle in with no real solution that could eliminate the problem.

Well, here's my solution. It seems painfully obvious to me, but I understand if it doesn't to everyone else.

There are in excess of TEN THOUSAND members on this site. If each of them would just contribute ONE DOLLAR, each month, it would eliminate any need for Erin to have to BEG for any monetary help.

make of this what you will ...

Blog About: 


Okay, so I've had bad dreams, and sad dreams, and searching dreams, but I dont think I have ever had a dream quite like the dream I had last night.

I was with my brother at a mall, when I suddenly caught a look at my own reflection.

And there was a beautiful woman in the mirror.

I mean she was fantastic looking!

I wasnt sure if I should say something or not, I just kept finding reasons to look for reflective surfaces to try and confirm what I was seeing.

Make of this what you will ...

Gaby Book 22

So, the full 40 chapter edition of the 22nd Gaby book, Avoidance, is just about ready to go - it should find its way onto Kindle and Lulu on Sunday.

There are a few corrections from the 10 chapter editions but nothing that changes the story. I have once again included the cast of characters - not just for this book but for the whole series - it's not exhaustive but does at least give some solidarity to the cast.

There is also a new cover illustration from Mizutamari which I think fits the book better overall.

Magic is... really, really, reallllyyy late!

Hi Everyone!

It's come to my attention that my 'two weeks' delay has rolled full on into a month and beyond when it comes to the next Magic chapter.
I have some good news, and some bad news.
Not sure which you'd pick first so I'll just roll with them as is.

Good news is I'm alive and well!
I've been writing when I can, but editing and posting is an entirely different prospect.

Not to put too fine a point on it but we're broke; also Hatbox funds low

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 


The service on our debt is killing us. I'm afraid I'm going to have to temporarily increase how much we ask people for. I don't want to do this but I really can't borrow any more money. If you can help, it will be greatly appreciated. I'm going to separate the Hatbox into two counts, one for expenses and the other for debts.

Hugs and thank you.

Info for giving to the Hatbox is below.

Thanks and hugs to everyone,
Erin and the gang

Psyren's redemption - Succumbing to Chemosh - Read for free now

His mind made up Sapphira seeks out Chemosh to confront him before he can hurt anyone else, but how can he hope to overcome a mind as powerful and as ancient as the once-god's?

Go here to view the newest part, or click here to start at the beginning.

Murder is sad, trans murder is worse


Everyone should be aware no matter how progressive the world seems, there is still hate of all kinds. Name a race, religion, color, gender, man, boy, woman, girl, etc. there is someone who hates another for one unexplainable reason or another. Men need to be careful, they aren't normally the targets of opportunity because of size and strength. Women need to be careful, cautious, always alert, and defensive. The predator mind seems to think women are the easiest prey because smaller, physically weaker gender.

Still two weeks left on the Fairy Kiss-and-Tale contest!

I'm running a bit behind on reading/commenting on entries (what can I say, I'm terrible at time management,) but if the number of other comments and kudos is anything to judge by then the contest will be fierce.

If you're not sure on the details, just click that story tag over this blog here, and it will take you to a list of all the entries so far, as well as the rules for new stories.

Bonus: if we can get at least 20 entries in total, I'll donate a dollar to the hatbox for every entry written.

Melanie E.

elated? frustrated?

Just a short missive.

Well it's day one of the kitchen refit, the old stuff is all gone and tomorrow they come to do the stuff which has caused most issue - replacing all my electrical gear - that's a new fuse box and relocating it as well as all the sockets and fitting a bunch of new extras. Once that's done I can start to get stuff into some sort of permanent order again.

Need Help - Script

A filmmaker friend has asked me to write a seven-minute script. He's won several local festivals and once worked for me so I know he's making a valid offer. I've often thought about trying a script.

1.) Can anyone suggest a good inexpensive software for scripts?

2.) Can anyone suggest a good book on script-writing?

3.) Does anyone have any advice?


Well I'll be damned.

That Rebecca Jane person has pulled me into another one of her stories. I've only read the first installment (ch 1-3) of Robbie's Revelation so far, but at least this one is finished.

Looks like it's going to be an all-nighter. :-D

Unofficial May 2018 BCTS Contest: Fairy Kiss-and-Tales

So who's ready for another not-in-any-way-sanctioned-by-management story contest?

Melanie E.'s Fairy Kiss-and-Tale Contest

Dates: May 1st 2018 - May 31st 2018

Everyone loves a little romance, and everyone loves a good fairy tale, right? Well, here's your chance to write your own mash-up of the two!

Show some love.

I haven't written any TG material in ages, but I come to BCTS almost every day.

I have my ups and downs, but it seems more of the latter. It's hard to get motivated to write, TG or otherwise. So in a shameless act of self-promotion, I'm asking you to read (or reread) my few poor offerings to BCTS, here:

09 - A short update and a favor to ask

Hi there,

my last blog entry has been some while so I thought I give a little update. Since finishing "Last Regrets" I focused my attention on short stories. Resulting in five published in the last two weeks. It scratched an itch I had for quite some time.

got a double boost today

Blog About: 


okay, so anyone following this blog knows the last while has not been very good for me.

Today kinda made up for it.

First, it was a hot day, so I decided to break out a skirt for the first time this year, and while I was out walking the dog, an elderly lady complimented me on my outfit, making me blush.

Then, tonight, I took Sharon and Samantha to a pizza place for supper, and as I got out of the car, Samantha remarked on the skirt, suggesting that I might want shorts under it in case a breeze blew it up, and Sharon agreed.

Where in the World is Leslie Moore?

Since no one asked, I thought I'd bring it up. The answer is very simple. I have been working on a new novel and it's pretty close to finished. The working title is "Metamorphosis - A Jessica Jade Story".

If you read the Wildcats, published one chapter at a time on BigCloset last year and now available on Amazon, we meet Jessica in what is now Book 3, coming soon to Amazon. (If you haven't read Wildcats, this new novel will still hopefully make sense and entertain.)

Dressed: Becoming a Woman on Amazon Kindle

Blog About: 


Dressed: Becoming a Woman: A Cross-Dressing Feminization Novel

"Oh, we won't tell anybody about your cross-dressing secret... so long as you do as we say."

My forbidden little fantasy of wearing women's clothing was supposed to be my secret, and mine alone. How could anybody understand a college guy like me - feminine as I may be - wanting to slip into a pair of silks and strut around the room, pretending I'm a bombshell college girl? Well, I slipped up BIG time and the two gorgeous girls next door caught me in the act.

Becoming Trina: A Cross-Dressing Transgender Novel - New Book on Amazon

Word Count: Over 45,000+

"I want him so bad... but what if he finds out my secret?"

Sometimes secrets should stay secrets, right? At least, that's what I thought after I developed a secret fixation with dressing up as a girl. Being a shy nineteen year-old college guy is bad enough, but nobody could ever know the real side of me. But then Gavin Drake showed up and ruined everything. He's drop-dead gorgeous, and he's everything I've tried to deny myself in my quest to play the 'normal, straight college guy' role.

I'm still here - and thoughts on a nagging idea

It's been 5 months since I posted? How times flies when you're NOT having fun. This flood repair stuff is getting VERY old. To get a quality contractor means getting your name on a wait list and then trying to be patient. Add in that the mold and dust and normal allergens have my sinuses messed up, and it gets even more un-fun. I'm on my sixth or seventh course of antibiotics for upper respiratory infections. But today we got cabinets! It is making progress slowly, so that's a bit encouraging.

Hello, I'm back even if it's for a second

Hey everyone, so I'm back (for a second), I've been dealing with school lately along with being a total troll on the internet. I've written some stuff along the way and also improved my writing a bit more. Well, I did post stuff here and there on here. The point is, I don't know how long I can be on here due to everything in my life changing. First, I'm legally female, I don't know if I talk about myself a lot, but I got really good lawyers that changed my M to a F. Which is still surreal btw. Second, I'm still writing, but only here or there stuff and all of it's short.

It's that darn crazy git's birthday again!

Blog About: 


Oh, wait, that darn crazy git is me! Ack!

Well, another year has gone by and I'm still kicking and fighting, not fighting in the physical sense so much as fighting the depression that comes up now and then. I'm not dealing with serious depression at the moment, so I'll take that as a bonus.

Anywho, I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen, I'm officially 52 years old and I want to live a damn lot longer!

I hope everyone else is having a good day today; I'll be heading for bed in a while, I'm starting to wind down now.

Whately sign in problems.

Okay. I know that Top Shelf and it's owners etc have nothing to do with it anymore, but I am having a problem with the sign-in process at The Crystal Hall.

I've tried changing my sign in name and password but the site won't allow it and I can't get signed in.

Anyone got a clue about this? Email me at cathy_t_99 At or message me here at Top Shelf.

Thanks in advance.

Catherine Linda Michel

Reminder: Melanie E.'s Fairy Kiss-and-Tale Contest

Just a reminder, there's still three weeks before the end of the contest deadline! We have two entries so far, and I can't wait to see what else people come up with!

If you're interested but missed the original announcement, contest details can be found by clicking the contest tag in this blog's description. The only thing that's changed since the original post is that we have moved from unofficial to being officially sanctioned.

Good luck!

Melanie E.

What Story?

What story was the precursor to Prudence Walker's Identikit? I remember the story, about a guy traveling cross country to find a job. He discovers a crashed spacecraft and finds some items on the ship that he takes with him. One is a laptop that changes his appearance and body. He runs into a woman named Prudence Walker and towards the end Bob Arnold. He spends a lot of time as a woman.


I dont have the words

Blog About: 


I am in a frustrating place in terms of my writing. I can visualize the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but when it comes to actually writing words ... I seem to be stuck.

sighs, I really wanted to try and finish that story so I could move on to other things ...

Help finding a story


I need help finding a story about a man that forced to become a girl by his 4 friends. The 5 guys plays a sport together and the main characters uses excuses to skip games or/and practice which triggers one of the other guys to make him into a woman by force. The transformed main character is now forced to become the 4 friends girlfriend who is being shared between them on turns.

Quick Update

Blog About: 


Just a short missive from Yorkshire today. Well on one of the best May BH Sundays ever (sunshine, blue skies, no wind or clouds - unheard of for a UK BH!) i'm pleased to relate that I completed the 2000+m of climbing squeezed into 129 Pennine kilometres in a time of 5hrs 30mins. Not too shabby for an old git and I didn't resort to walking anywhere despite grades in the high teens and low twenties (1 in 4 ish if you are old skool on these things.)

Missing Without A Trace: A Kelly Mitchell Mystery

I have just published a short novella (97 pages) as an ebook using the Kindle publishing program. It is not a transgender story, although I wrote it as the first-person narrative of a female. It's called, Missing Without a Trace: A Kelly Mitchell Mystery.

Status Update

Hello all again, it's been a busy month but things are falling into a routine and I'm writing more again.

Bad news: the Twin Tails game is ending a bit abruptly thanks to difficulties the GM is having with the campaign structure. I'll try to tie off the story to give everyone closure but that'll be it for Amaya and Akiko for a while. I'm a bit saddened I'm not going to get to play them for a while, but I'll probably re-make them for a new game later on.

Early post

Well as i'll be out 'enjoying' a ride through the Yorkshire Dales tomorrow and I've scragged a bit of web time tonight you benefit by getting a Gaby chapter!

Yep, Science Mädchen is up now for your delectation and delight!

see you all soon and don't forget to let me know what you think about the Gaby Cyclefest.


Missing story


I have been reading a story called TIME ON MY HANDS noticed that there was a new chapter just before I went to bed last night, thought I would leave it to read this morning.
So this morning when I got up Thought I would start reading said story but when I searched for the story last night's chapter and all previous chapters are missing can anybody tell me what has happened to it.

not in a good place

Blog About: 


well, I think I spoke too soon about my depression lifting. I'm in a bad place where the only relief I seem to get from sadness is just being numb.

Worse, my writing has dried up, leaving me without one of my major outlets for dealing with crap.

I'm sorry to have to ask, but all hugs, prayers, or positives about me are appreciated.

Looking for a story...

about a man who dies at the start of the story, at the end of a long life of depression and failed dreams due to never having dared to act on his TG status, and finds himself waking in the body of a young teenager. Twist: he is still a male, and is still TG. He takes a little time to gain his bearings, and decides that this time he will act to live as his true self. He has the advantage of having a decent family as a young teenager, and a disadvantage that his body's history is of being mean, histrionic, selfish, uncaring, and impulsive, so no-one trusts him for a while.

Dear Commentator

I saw your comment on Amazon about the “book” that I wrote. “Swifter, Higher, Stronger

You stated, “This is an excellent story by Angela that wastes a lot of potential by not giving us even more. We get vignettes of the protagonist's life when we could have had stories. What's here is very good. What's missing would have made this book gold medal quality.”

just an idea at the moment

Well the last Gabycon was a couple of years ago now and whilst a success in itself I was thinking maybe it's time for a slightly different format.

So here's the pitch, a weekend event (natch), possibly based at a campsite (cheap accomodation for those that want it) with a ride or two taking in some nearby historic/museum/house etc, cafe lunch and evening meal, if possible with some sort of Gaby connection. Sounds familiar so far I guess.

TLDR! (Too LITTLE - don't read!)

I'm SO frustrated that I haven't brought this story (or any of the open ended stories) home yet. I want to say "SHELVE IT'... if you've invested in these characters even a fraction as much as I have.....

I am determined to bring them all to satisfactory conclusions (that let the reader take them where they will) but the finish line is proving far more elusive (muse-less) than I'd ever imagined.

BBC story

Still slogging away at a very long story, and I want it to be educational, culturally accurate and fun. I am yet uneasy about it, and the major reason is that some of the Characters are Middle Eastern. I do not want to trigger anyone's PTSD and hope that this won't. There is very little violence in it, and it is quickly dealt with. My own PTSD and anxiety issues won't permit it.

Story and parting


I complained that the passion for writing isn't there and have to force myself to push a story out. I wasn't kidding, it has taken me three times as long to write my current story and has caused me to lose sleep and suffer mental and physical strain.

I know, I should walk away and rest. I can't. My anxiety forces me to finish what I started regardless of whether I want to or not. That means late nights and finding myself sleeping during the day.

Thoughts about the future

I know I've left a few story ideas hanging out there. Marti and the Doppelganger left several unanswered questions. I will get around to answering them one of these days. I sometimes work myself to sleep thinking where the story should go. So far, I've not gone much beyond the first chapter, and that's in my head. When I do get it straightened out, I think there will be only one more story in the Cynthia Chronicle, and that will be an expansion and development of a previous add on. This line can't go much further without being repetitive.

Pretty Soldiers posted at Patreon, exclusive for Patrons until Thursday

“Now you have four hours to decide if you want to join the Pretty Soldiers, Ensign Crawford,” Col. Chick Sanders went on, ignoring the giggles.

Pretty Soldiers

by Erin Halfelven


unofficial rules


If it's not run by a few, if it's not grammatically perfect, if it doesn't meet the unwritten rules of being perfect to one country's way of speaking, don't post it.

Got it. No more posting. Final story parts coming in the new few days because none of what I write fits the unofficial rules for this site. Sorry. Don't bother offering encouragement, it's not wanted.

Proofreading/ editing. Any other Volunteers?

I will freely admit that I am one of those people for whom misspelled words can take me out of a story.

Having said that, I KNOW that no one is perfect, myself included. LOL.

So... I AM willing to help authors by proofreading their work, with the understanding that I do NOT edit. I only proofread for spelling and usage errors. I can and will even proof stories that have already been posted here at Top Shelf.

Contribution Idea?


I wonder if it might make sense to list the site as a "magazine" on Amazon, where people can order magazine subscriptions too. I would have to think that a "purchase option" for either a one time purchase... or a true hatbox subscription... could be offered like you can order certain high-use makeup.

You can, for example, purchase a pretty mascara as a "One time purchase"... or as a "subscription" (as shown below) where you might choose to have it reordered automatically! Use the same idea for a "Donation" or "Subscription" here?

An Anmarian Update

Good morning all -- Happy Sunday.

Those of you who follow my tales of Julina know now that she is about to interact heavily with characters created by Penny. My next chapter or two are in the final stages; they are outlined, the next one all but written completely, but not yet finalised and proofed, and so on. They will take us through another mad dash as the rains loom ever closer. A new Anthology (an increasingly obvious misnomer hanging over from the early chapters) shall cover events in the rains, and possibly after.

So I actually wrote something...

I lurk the /r/WritingPrompts SubReddit. Yesterday they had a very intriguing prompt that I actually wrote a little thing for. No fancy word processor, I used Reddit's reply box to post my bit. But it's the first thing I've written in almost 4 years. I just hope someone likes it over there. That would be nice.

~And so it goes...

New book published

After a few months of not publishing anything new and now settled, (almost) in my new palatial residence I have posted a new book on Kindle. This is a collection of 2 novellas and a short story entitled Pennies, Charcoal and Latex and is available now at the kindle EBook store the link to which is on this page, right hand side.
In the near future I will also be publishing volume five of Footprints in the Sea, probably late May or June and in the Autumn I will have Vol 5 of Vesta’s Hearth and if there’s still time, a second trilogy before Christmas.

Looking for a story

Hi. I'm looking for a story about a young girl and her family that own a resturant. The girl gets raped and gives birth early after a machine explodes near her. The electronics get stuck in the baby and make changes. the baby is super inteligent. grows up transgender and gains powers. Eventually makes her family rich and famous while at the same time, changing them for the better. Then she gains powers to change the world.

Nice little story.

Jessica Marie.

New story hopefully by the end of this week


I just completed my draft of my latest story, The Return of Dragons. Now I’m editing it and hope to post it by the end of the week.

This is a story about a young man that discovers his ancestor was Maeve the Dragon Slayer and that her blood still runs through his veins. When dragons suddenly appear, magic is restored to earth and he finds himself transformed.

Will he, now a she, become a dragon slayer, or will she take a new path?

some good news about my daughter

Blog About: 


I got some good news about my daughter. I found out that she has been accepted to go to a continuing education program specially set up for handicapped people post grade 12.

They will focus on combining academics with life skills, and it will go for two years.

I'm very proud of her.

A little more month left than money in the Hatbox


We're still short on the month's goal, and on paying ourselves, so if you can help out, it will be greatly appreciated.

If you won't have money until after the first, you could consider making a pledge at Patreon as those monies are collected after the 1st of the month. And our Patron page at Patreon is jumping. I've committed to posting new chapters of Fantastic Mars and Bian there at least three days before they post here at BC. In fact, chapter 5 of the Mars serial is up there now.

Hugs and thanks,
Erin and the crew

Use this link to send us a gift:

One-Time Gift


Recurring Gift

Searching for a story

The story I am searching for was probably not on this site. A number of years ago I was reading a story I think was about a married man and his wife who were in grave financial trouble. A mysterious man offers to help, but only on the condition that the man agrees to undergo a transformation, based on how much help he gets. Any ideas? Thanks for your help!!

A funny thing

Blog About: 


I had a funny thing happen at church today. It seems that a tomboy at church thinks that I am the perfect person to give her lessons on how to be a lady. She came up to me and said " I am trying to become more lady like and you are the most feminine lady as per my mom." Now I am very happy to have gotten the compliment, but I also think it's funny that I am 11 years post op, yes feminine facial surgery and also a bit of work done as well. That being said HER mom says she could learn to be more lady like from ME.

"Writers must recognize the stop signs in their… " - tips on writing

"Writers must recognize the stop signs in their…"

I recently read a blog by a writer on our site that was looking for help with their story... which caused me to take note of this in today's paper.

I found this article on the importance of knowing WHEN to end your story; the importance of knowing when to say 'when'. The first half of this article is insightful. Towards the end of this article famous authors opening words are compared to their ending words; both are equally important.

This Sucks (enemyoffun needs to relocate with help! ~seph)

So I wrote a blog a bit ago about a writing delay because of Life in general. Things have NOT been easy around here. My books aren't selling anymore and my brother is breathing down my neck. I got into a fight with him---verbal, not physical---last night. Every weekend now he takes off to go to his girlfriend's, leaving me here to look after the hundreds of animals he owns. That's not an exaggeration either. I'm already fed up with it because he took a job that keeps him out of the house for 12 hours a day, four days a week.

News from.......Brandenburg, Germany

Blog About: 


Just a quick note or two.

Well my best laid plans have fallen by the way side as my internet access so far this trip has been sketchy at best and non existent most of the time.

Anyhow, we've had a great trip so far, a mostly mill pond North Sea crossing and wall to wall blue skies and sunshine ever since. Gab has. Been enjoying herself with visits to Hameln of rat fame and the windmill museum up at Luneberg Heide. Maybe the other windmill visits were a bit more 'if we must' but we've some great stuff planned for the way back.

NYT Best Seller List or a Crony List?


Many years ago, yes we were publishers then, the NYT listed a book title as a NYT Best Seller. It hadn't even been written yet. I believe everyone in the publishing business knew the NYT was a Wine and Dine list. Those publishers who could wine and dine the owner, editors, and writers of the NYT were assured of selling hundreds of thousands more books if they made the list. It was a very exclusive club bought and paid for with lots of free food, women, lavish trips, and exotic holidays.