Autobiographical

News from.......Brandenburg, Germany

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Just a quick note or two.

Well my best laid plans have fallen by the way side as my internet access so far this trip has been sketchy at best and non existent most of the time.

Anyhow, we've had a great trip so far, a mostly mill pond North Sea crossing and wall to wall blue skies and sunshine ever since. Gab has. Been enjoying herself with visits to Hameln of rat fame and the windmill museum up at Luneberg Heide. Maybe the other windmill visits were a bit more 'if we must' but we've some great stuff planned for the way back.

magic blood pressure spikes

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Do you guys remember the dancing frog from the Warner Brother's cartoons?

Well, I've been having blood pressure spikes that seem to be doing the same thing - I see it at home, but they disappear as soon as my doctor checks me.

So my doctor has ordered a special bp test, to see if we can figure out what the heck is going on ...

its a generation thing

Well yesterday was a landmark for my family - all of my immediate blood relations over four generations in one room at once. Sounds impressive but it's only five people (I do have a host of cousins etc so we aren't such a tiny family really) Anyhow I spent about three hours holding a very well behaved grandson as two exhausted parents failed to summon energy for more than drinking tea!

What a week or two!

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My computer played up, then an update from Microsoft coincided with my router doing strange things, only it took a day or two to work out what the problem was. Couple that with severe shoulder pain and consequent lack of sleep, a visit to the dentist on Friday the 13th, an impending deadline for my latest assignment and you can see I've had a great time.

71 today.

Whew! Like my old baseball hero, Mickey Mantle, said: "If I'd known I was gonna get this old, I'da taken better care of myself!"

Well, I'm not old... compared to trees, or mountains, right?

I hope everyone has a great day, and thanks all for your comments and friendship. Also, thanks to Princess Chelsea for the skype Birthday greeting.

Catherine Linda Michel

Changes

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I hate being negative all the time. I've been pretty sick lately so I shut down for a while. I was at the PT(physical therapist today,She had me standing between parallel bars on both feet. I threw up later not a bad thing since every time I use new muscles differently it happens. She was working harder than I was try to keep my bad left leg straight,Not a major break through, but will take what comes my way. But for a short while before I abused their trash can(again)I was standing up and swaying between feet. Using my good arm (for balance and good leg to stand between the bars.

a most unusual dream

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I had a really unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I was back in university, but this time I was Dorothy. Not only that, I had this ... confidence about stuff I dont normally have in real life. Even people who reacted negatively to me were dismissed in my mind except to report them to a university official.

Not sure what that means ...

busy real life eating into my writing spoons

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For my fans (I still have fans, I think), just to let you know that it still will be awhile before I have more for you guys to read, as real life is eating into my writing spoons.

But I will still check in and leave kudos and comments as I can ...

Holiday reading

I'm on the Algarve (Portugal for non-Europeans) and trying to get a tan.

I brought a few e-books with me and I'm currently chortling through the first EAFOAB book. I've (from memory) read it thrice from the beginning beforehand but it still makes me smile - thank you Angharad for the perfect holiday read.

I'm such a fool...

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I just returned home from overeating at a local Chinese all you can eat buffet. The food is great 7 the place is clean. First plate was 10 shrimp, 2 fish fillets, 2 lobster rolls and crab/cheese casserole. Second plate was a slice of ham, mashed potatoes, gravy with meat balls and broccoli & cheese casserole. Third plate was a slice of cheese cake, a piece of chocolate cake, a slice of pineapple, and an orange wedge. Fourth plate (8") was peach slices and 3 halved bananas covered in cherry sauce. That was buried in 2 inches of chocolate soft serve ice cream topped with peanuts.

Drag Race

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Had a friend who works at a store I shop at ask me if I watch RuPaul's Drag Race. She assumed that because I'm trans that of course I do.

I told her no. That I hated the show, that I would turn it to the worst Z-movie in the world before I'd watch it. She laughed and asked me why.

spike in blood pressure

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Just when things looked like they were getting better, I've had a setback, in the form of several bad moments with super high blood pressure over the last couple of days.

I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday, so here is hoping for an idea on what I can do about it, but not fun ...

one week

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Next weekend I'll be going offline.
Until I can find an isp that isn't using a security nightmare single signon scheme for accessing services.
and ALL single signon services are a security nightmare, 1 database for criminals to target to gain massive amounts of data on everyone using it.
Facebook, Google, MS, yahoo accounts all fall into this classification.

and I doubt I'll be looking very hard for an isp

So discouraged

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I'm about as discouraged as I have been in a very long time, and it is arguable that most of what is stressing me is my own damn fault. There are a couple stories on here that are extremely moving to me, spot on regarding the issues that face post op, out T folk. Recently, my own T life has been more pleasant than at first, but these stories cause me to remember the really painful years.

My family has a knack for making a bad situation worse

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If my extended family has a knack, its to make a bad situation worse.

My aunt is going into the hospital on Thursday to get treated for cancer in her uterus, and two of my other aunts decided that wasn't enough stress, so they started fighting over who will look after my aunt when she gets out of the hospital.

Sighs ...

Intense pain

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For the last week or so I have been having gut cramps that are unbelievably painful Don't know what I will do about them yet, If they continue probably the ER,This morning I woke up with a a painful knot in my gut I tried to raise my bed and it hurt too much to bend my abdomen. I ll get back with you all and let you know how it goes.

Small steps - a bigger one

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I didn't blog here for more than four years... :-(

Many thinks happened during this time:
I removed my old "disguise" completely after Halloween 2013. Fortunately there were no problems at all at work and in my private life.
August 2014 the status and name change was finalized, including my birth certificate.

Goin Round The Bend.

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Pretty sure that Dementia is setting in on me. Things have been seeming increasingly bizarre lately. I don't know how fast this stuff moves, but if I make less and less sense as time goes on that's probably the reason. Yesterday, my eyes passed the test to keep my Driver's License, and I mentioned to my Doc that I am concerned about my cognition.

Life sucks, no matter how much you try.

This past Saturday afternoon, my Inbound freight manager, a beautiful woman by the name of Dana, and I boarded a plane in Charlotte, NC, headed for Phoenix, AZ. Beyond our good timing at escaping the bizarre ritualistic festival surrounding Billy Graham’s funeral in Charlotte, we were headed to Phoenix for the annual RILA gathering which was scheduled there this year

Blog blog

Alright first blog. Blog blog. Sorry I left some stuff unfinished and may not have responded to messages, I was feeling bad about my writing and was avoiding logging in for a while because of anxiety. Plus I'm pretty busy with school.

Honestly, with some of the stuff I posted I was hoping it being posted would motivate me to work on it, but nope. So some of the stuff I just have no ideas of how to continue while remaining interesting.

Connecting with main stream authors

I'm hooked up with a thing called "Instant Freebie" and get a lot of free eBooks through that. One of the authors sends out a news letter sent out an invitation to get to know you. She gave a little information about herself and then invited me to contact her via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. She included her email address.

I emailed her, explaining that I didn't really use social media all that much, so I was emailing. I'll insert come excerpts from the exchange. After giving some (very little) information about me and my family, I wrote:

Despite the warm sunshine, it’s just another rainy day.......

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Yeah, it may be warm and sunny outside, but here in my world it’s just another dreary, rainy day.

I had a really good weekend last weekend, spending five days at home in Upstate NY with my wife and family. My wife Emilia and I spent several really good days together - nothing special, just some shopping, riding in the car, a few quiet meals with just the two of us, just talking and enjoying being together. I surprised her with a Valentine’s Day gift early as I knew I wouldn’t be home on the 14th, and she actually bought me a little something in return on Saturday.

update

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Just a quick update for anybody following my silly little blog:

My brother is home from the hospital, but pain in the non-replaced leg is slowing his recovery. Nothing we can do except slog through things ...

Meanwhile, my aunt does have cancer - stage one, apparently, so she's also looking at a long slog before any recovery ...

And me?

Well, other than the fact I've done no writing at all this week, and was sick today to boot, I'm hanging in there.

I promise to be back at writing as soon as my spoons allow ...

05 - A short update to my situation

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Hey everyone,

I know it has been quiet around me lately.
The good news is that most of my work related troubles are resolved.
I am also nearly finished with my big move into a new apartment.

However, there is still one hurdle in my way.
Changing my landline (and DSL) will take two weeks.
So today will be the last day I have regular internet access at either home.
I should be back online on the first of March.

Perhaps there is hope for us ?

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I was at my little brother's house and we were talking about stuff while he had me trouble shooting his vacuum cleaner. Out of the blue, he stopped talking and looked lost for a minute. Then he said, "My Grandson is Transgendered". He then revealed that he (she) is 5 years old. He told me that the child's mother, my brother's daughter, said that they had been through the Doctor, Shrinks and endless sessions of telling the child that they were not going anywhere until HE put on the right clothes, until it became obvious that this was not just a passing fancy on the child's part.

my brother is home, and a new story started

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Just letting everybody know that my brother is home, and beginning the long slow recovery/rehab process. And apparently, that was good enough for my muse to send me another little story to share with you all:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/73081/rivers-babylon-...

just to let everybody know

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Just to let everybody know I probably wont be on much the next few days as we will be spending a lot of time at the hospital with my brother undergoing knee surgery. I'll try and give an update when I have one, but in the meantime, I'm leaving behind a big store of huggles, should anybody need one, and if you want to leave one for me, that's always appreciated.

Our environment.

Hi all,

If you have read my bio you will know more where I am coming from. I have spent quite a bit of my life helping an already quite energy consuming industry (Music and touring bands) to become even more greedy for electricity. To give you an idea, what the energy consumption of a system for a festival was when I left the business in 1984 it was on average 1,2 Mega Watt for the lights and between 60 and 100 Kilo Watt for the sound, not counting the energy consumed by the backstage area, the caravans and mobile homes for the musicians, ticket offices, catering etc. A normal modern household supply in Europe is about 12KW, but that is more like a possible maximum, not a general consumption, just to give a reference, and that could, with today's technology, be reduced considerably.

Why am I telling you this?

Size Of Your Pointer And Ring

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I've just read an interesting web site that reverses what I've always thought. My ring finger is longer than my index (pointer) finger. WIN_20180130_21_37_54_Pro.jpgI was raised under the impression that was a masculine trait. However, I was reading an article entitled, "How to Tell If You Are Transgendered," by Melanie Anne Phillips, which said ring finger and index finger same length (men have a noticeably longer index finger)

serious adulting done today

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Serious adulting done today. I went and got my oil changed, my air filters changed, and a new wiper blade put on my car, then I went downtown and paid my speeding ticket.

Its not normally the case that i would be celebrating spending close to $ 600, but I feel a lot better about things with those tasks taken care of.

a needed lift

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on a day when I needed a pick-me-up, I got three. First, two different people mistook me for my mom when I answered the phone, and then while on a walk with Lady, a nice man said "you two ladies have a nice day".

You gotta celebrate the little victories cause you never know when or even if the big victories will happen.

I've been a bad girl and even a bad husband

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I've been less than forthright with my wife. While I've bragged a lot about the strides my wife has made in accepting my feminine nature, I still have problems making myself be upfront with everything that is going on with me.

Going to be slightly housebound for a bit

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As it is supposed to be super cold here the next couple of days, I'm going to stay in as much as possible. I'm just wondering if anybody would like to share their "snow day" activities - the stuff they would do if stuck inside for a day or more?

been a bear of a weekend/monday

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I would like to get back to writing, but that terrible thing Real Life has been acting up. My mom's been super sick and still recovering from her burn, I am not 100% well myself although I might be better off than my mom because I got the flu shot, plus the usual list of stresses that seem to be doing their best to keep me in a funk.

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