The City who cried

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The City Who Cried

This is fan fiction that takes place in the "Ship who sang" universe created by Anne McCaffery. I look forward to seeing what people think

I am a city.

Okay, so I’m not the streets, or the buildings, or the people. But I have the last say in a lot of what happens here - everything from traffic lights to dispatching emergency crews to dealing with garbage are under my control.

It hadn’t always been the case.

I was born human, but badly damaged - so badly, they had little choice but to put me in the “shell” program, a way to hook up a human to mechanical frame called a shell. I went to a special school where other “shell-persons” and I were taught how to use our shells, as well as more mundane things like language and maths.

One of my “classmates” was named Helva, and she became one of the most famous shell-persons of all time, as she was placed in control of a starship and became known as “the ship who sings”. But I’d like to think that even if I’m not a famous, I do a pretty good job.

Sometimes, she still visits my city, and if she’s in the right mood, she’ll even sing for me.

Not that I have a lot of time for songs, as my job keeps me pretty busy.

Which is probably a good thing.

Because thinking about other things can be a bad idea.

See, most shell-people dont think about their actual bodies much, or at all. We are ... encouraged to forget that behind our titanium shells there is a body, that we are something other than the shells and the systems they are hooked up to.

But I’m ... a little different.

Because besides all the other things I had wrong with my body, I had one nobody could see at the time.

My body, as twisted as it was, is male, and my soul, my sense of self, however you want to say it, is female.

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

So I keep busy and try not to think about it

Doesn’t always work.

But I keep going anyway.

Up until a short time ago, I’ve never told anybody about my problem. I’ve always been afraid they would decide I’m so broken I can’t be trusted with my job.

But recently I managed to find someone I could trust to talk to.

Helva, “the ship who sings” herself.

I cant even describe how much of a relief it is to talk to someone about this.

It all happened a week ago ...

Helva had arrived at my city’s spaceport, and once the day’s bustle slowed down, I risked having a conversation with her after listening to her talk about her new “brawn” which is how the men and women who partner with ships like Helva are called.

Helva had some bad luck with her brawn partners - the first one died on her, another was a complete jerk, another was mentally scarred. But she’s hit the jackpot with her latest brawn. He’s smart, kind, ... and he loves Helva.

That’s kinda outside the rules, but I think it works in this case. The two of them make a stronger team because of the love they share.

Knowing she’s not always a follower of the rules helped me take the chance on telling her.

I waited until her “brawn” had gone into the city, and then contacted her.

As always, she was singing.

“I like that song.” I said.

“Thanks, Harry. What’s up?”

‘i ... got a problem. I don’t know if anybody can help, but maybe it would do me good to talk about it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Me. I’m wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Shell people are not supposed to think about their physical bodies.”

“That’s right.”

“But I have been.”

“But ... why?”

I sighed.

“It’s hard to explain. But I think that in some fundamental part of me, I’m a girl. But I can never be seen as one.”

For a while afterward, there was silence.

Then Helva said, “When I first decided I wanted to sing, someone might have told me it was impossible. Yet I found a way. Can you find a way to be seen as a girl? What makes me a girl that you can’t do?”

Her saying that cut through my pity-party and got me thinking like a shell-person again.

“I ... could just ask them to call me by a female name? Use female pronouns?”

“You certainly could.”

“But would they do it?”

“They might. I mean, its not like its a big deal. You’re just asking for a little kindness, a little respect, and it really costs them nothing to do so. Plus, I’ll add my voice to yours.”

“You ... will?”

“Why wouldn’t I? But you better have a female name ready if you want them to take you seriously.”

“Any ideas?”

“Well, what about Hilda? Then we’d be like sisters.”

“That sounds ... wonderful.”

Then I “felt” a buzz that told me there was a situation in the city I had to take care of, so I said to Helva “I got to go, but I’ll definitely tell them I want them to call me Hilda the first chance I get.”

“Good luck.”

I was busy the rest of the day, but finally I was able to send a message to Central that I wanted to talk to someone, and the hardest conversation of my life followed.

What made it go at all was Helva chiming in, and she even got her brawn to speak on my behalf as well.

And yesterday, I got the news - as of today, I’m Hilda, and female, as far as Central Worlds is concerned.

Its just about impossible how good that makes me feel. Yeah, I will never be a pretty girl or wear dresses, but those are not the things that make a girl anyway.

Being a girl is about what’s in your heart and mind.

Although it does feel good to be acknowledged and treated as one too.

So if you’re in the neighborhood, come check out my city.

This girl will do her best to make sure you enjoy your stay ...

End.

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Comments

waiting patiently

for the next chapter...which better be ready soon or I'll paint all your accessories pink!

nope, no next chapter

and why would you think me having pink stuff would be bad?

I thought you thought I was a girly girl!

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But you keep saying

That your not girly as your more like me.

right

and since im not girly at all having pink accesories would be punishment for you.

Glad we agree. Now write that chapter

You write it!

You're the better author. And I like pink as much as you do!

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that was an accident

I thought it was red!

It's not my fault im color blind.

And im NOT girly!

Papa!!!

Sobbing away lil jaci runs to papa and starts to bawl in his lap as dottie was teasing her again.

I'm not a girl! Im not..

runs away and hides from Papa

I'm a good mirl ... I mean I'm a good birl ... I mean ... darn it!

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Makes sure that...

erica jane's picture

Papa has something to help him. *Quietly puts a bottle of Tullamore Dew in the liquor cabinet*

~And so it goes...

For Chapter Two...

Maybe Hypatia visits and runs the city for a brief time and allows Hilda to stroll the streets? It could happen.

sounds like fun!

giggles ...

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Girls!

We are going to have to talk. Wait, we just did.

Good story.

glad you liked it!

thanks, Wendy Jean!

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Here's a did you know...

erica jane's picture

The Ship who Sang universe is the same as the Pern universe. That came to be known from a series called The Fleet. It was a shared universe series, Anne McCaffrey wrote for it, along with David Drake, Poul Anderson, Jody Lynn Nye, Janet Morris and several others.

~And so it goes...

brawn

now where her brawn at. i would walk down her steet befor i start sing crystal. i love the story from late anne McCaffrey.

here im back

I talked to dorothy about this

She only read the ship who sang none of the others.

For those who havent read anne mcaffery.

The ship who sang
The city who fought, the ship avenged.
Crystal singer (all three books)

are referenced by shi_long.

the ship who sang( Brain and

the ship who sang( Brain and Brawn Ship series)
The Ship Who Sang
PartnerShip
The Ship Who Searched
The City Who Fought
The Ship Who Won
The Ship Errant
The Ship Avenged

The Crystal Universe
The Coelura
Nimisha's Ship
Crystal Singer
Killashandra
Crystal Line

I hope that help

here im back

I wonder if anyone can guess,

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

Which was my favorite & where I got my girl name.

*grins*
~Hypatia >i< ..:::

What an intriguing idea

Rhona McCloud's picture

A very long time since I read Anne McCaffrey so thank you for reminding me with such an intriguing idea

Rhona McCloud

she's an awesome author

I so identified with Helva ...

thanks for commenting, Rhona

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Anne McCaffrey...

...is the correct spelling, in case anyone out there wants/needs to look her up.

(Ordinarily I'd PM the author about something like that, but several comments here have the same problem.)

Eric

Mercy ,Mercy, I cant leave

Mercy ,Mercy, I cant leave the site for a short time & my two favorite girls are at it again. well, I might as well say why I was gone........I was in the emergency room for a few hours at the hospital. I had a slight misunderstanding with my chain saw that resulted in 10 staples in my left knee.. So please girls, let me rest for a bit before you start in on me.
Thank you

oh, no! Poor Papa

special Kitten huggles headed your way!

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Nice story.

And a nice homage to Anne McCaffrey's wonderful books. I enjoyed reading it last night before going to bed. I do, however, have one complaint. The story is to short. I hope that perhaps that your muse will inspire you to ether write a sequel or that you'll write an expanded version of this delightful story.

Hugs,
Tamara Jeanne

PS, A close friend of mine is a stained glass artist. Several years go, he sold one of his windows to Anne McCaffrey's son. The window's design was inspired by a book from Anne's Pern series, The White Dragon.

Good story that adds nicely to Helva's ethos.

chrisl's picture

kudos, please add a "not" to this sentence " I will never be a pretty girl or wear dresses, but those are * the things that make a girl anyway."

Very good story,

ChrisP's picture

and the City reference in the title caught my attention.

Erm ... just as a possible plot-hook: in one of the later Ship novels, Helva has a body fabricated. Bandwidth limited her to the confines of the ship, but it might be of use in another story.

Regards,

Chris,

Don't ever feed your Aardvark honey.

that would be cool, Chris !

our city could actually get some experience as just another girl !

thanks for sharing that!

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The Ship that Searched

is my favorite of the non Anne McCaffery stories. I've about worn the cover off of my copy. Thanks for this one Dorothy!
hugs
Grover

you're welcome, Grover

glad you liked my little homage to it.

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Very much McCaffrey fan here

Podracer's picture

Broley! That was the name which popped into my head this afternoon. Wonder if Hilda knows him.

I also wonder if ever one AM's stories would make a good film? It probably wouldn't come anywhere near the images she swirled into my head.

"Reach for the sun."