Something had told us that we should take the little tree that had grown from the twig that we’d buried a few months ago in mom’s flower garden with us to New Mexico.

I had all but given up on Maria and Mark coming out to New Mexico when Kelly and Larry were there so that the whole crew could experience a Southwestern barbecue together. But I still had a few months to try and figure something out.

And to top it off, when I’d told my Aunt Ruth what we were going to do, she had come up with most of the furniture that we needed for the apartment. May the Great Spirit bless her.

Tonight, Amy and I were going to the support group meeting. Dr. Whitmeyer or his feminine side, Claire, was supposed to be there. And, we were going to thank him for fulfilling his promise to write and publish a paper on the Nádleeh, or two spirit people, as part of his apology for what he attempted to do at the seminar.

Before dinner, I had Amy put my hair into a single fancy braid using the leather wrap with feathers at the end and a cute barrette at the top. As she was working on it, I said, “You’re going to have to teach me how to do this.”

“I’ll be more than happy to.”, she replied. “You can start on me. Then we’ll work on you doing your own. And by the time we go west, you’ll be an expert.”

“Like Aunt Ruth and Mrs. Hatathli?”

“Well, not right away. That will take a lot of practice. I’m not even that good.”

When Amy had finished my braid, I looked in the mirror and loved what she’d done. Along with the leather wrap and barrette, she had woven colored leather strips into it. It was the four colors that represented the four directions. White for east, turquoise for south, yellow for west, and black for north. The four colors also represented the four sacred mountains of the Navajo.

Kai was here. So I removed all of Tom’s clothes, then pulled on the special panties, and slipped into a matching bra and panty. Then I slipped the new breast forms into my bra for the first time. Well, the first time for Kai, Tammy had worn them a few times.

Then Amy asked, “What’s Kai going to wear?”

“I was thinking about the Biil dress.”, I said. “But that’s too formal for this. So maybe a long skirt, a fancy blouse, and the wrap moccasins.”

Amy smiled, and said, “I like your thinking girlfriend.”

I then picked up the pair of silver feather earrings that were on the dresser and put them on. And then said, “Tell me what jewelry you want, and I’ll get it out of the safe after dinner.”

“Sure thing.”, Amy replied. “Now watch as I braid my hair. I’m going with a two braid look.”

I sat on the bed and watched as Amy put her hair into two braids with different leather wraps at the end. When she finished, I said, “I’ll never get that.”

“Yes, you will.”, she replied. “It takes a little practice.”

“In my case. A lot of practice.”

“I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll pick it up.”

Amy then placed one of the beaded headbands on and added the other pair of silver feather earrings. And then we joined my parents for dinner.

My dad commented on my hair, and it was a nice comment. My mother smiled.

After we cleaned up the dinner dishes, I went to the basement to get the jewelry that we both were going to wear. Then I joined Amy in our room to get dressed. We both wore long skirts and fancy blouses. Amy wore her moccasins, and I wore the wrap moccasins. For jewelry we both wore Concho belts, I wore the bone Concho choker, and Amy wore one of the beaded chokers. Both of us wore silver bracelets and rings.

For makeup, I went with my usual less is more, as did Amy.

My parents were in the den, and when we walked in my mother looked at us, smiled, and said, “Girls, you are both so pretty.”

I just smiled at her.

My dad turned and looked at us, and said, “Yes they are.”

Then I said, “We’ll see you later.”

“Have fun. And be careful.”

“We will, daddy.”, Amy said. “Bye.”

We drove over to the church where the support group held their meetings. As we parked, Amy asked, “Honey, how do you feel about this meeting?”

“Good.”, I said. “I feel good about it.”

Then as we got out of the car and started walking towards the building, we saw a man just in front of us that was carrying a suitcase. I whispered to Amy, “I think that’s Dr. Whitmeyer.”

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“No. But, from the back it kind of looks like him.”

We followed him into the building, and he went upstairs to where people change, and we went downstairs to the meeting room. Just outside the room, we stopped at a table to fill out stick-on name tags.

Then I saw Patty and her husband, Ralph or Rhonda. Patty saw us at just about the same time, said something to Rhonda, and they walked over to us. It was hugs all around. Then Patty said to Amy, “Hello trader.”

With a grin, Amy said, “Hi.”

“Really going to New Mexico. Aren't you?”

“Yes. At the end of June.”

“You know. We’re going to miss you in the E.R.?”

“Yes. And I’m going to miss you guys too. Our apartment in Albuquerque has two bedrooms, so we have room for guests. Hint. Hint.”

“You just may get ‘em.”

“We’d better.”

“Have you seen Dr. Whitmeyer yet.”

I said, “I think we followed him into the building.”

“I know he’s met, Tammy.”, Patty said. “Do you want me to introduce you?”

“No, I want to have a little fun with this.”

Patty smiled, as she said, “I understand.”

“Kai, there’s Helen.”, Amy said.

“Where?”, I asked.

As she pointed, Amy said, “Over there.”

“Patty and Rhonda, excuse us for a minute.”

Amy and I walked over to where Helen was standing, she saw us, smiled, and said, “Kai! Amy! It’s so good to see you.”

Again it was hugs.

Then Helen said, “Kai, your hair has gotten so long. Who braided for you, it looks fabulous.”

“Amy did it for me, and she’s going to try to teach me how to braid.”, I replied.

“It’s not hard. You’ll pick it up quickly. Now you two, I heard a rumor that you’re going to New Mexico.”

“Yes.”, I said. “At the end of June. Amy wants to do her master’s work out there.”

“I’ll miss you two. You’ve brought some interesting fun into my life.”

“Thanks. It’s been great knowing you too. Is your husband here?”

As Helen looked around, she said, “Somewhere. Oh, there’s Rachael. Come on.”

We followed Helen over to a group that was standing and talking. As we walked up, all eyes went to us. Then Helen said to one of the girls, “Rachael, do you remember that faux wedding you did a couple of years ago?”

“You mean the one where the boy, who was the bride, looked more like a girl than a lot of girls do and the girl as the groom was too pretty ever to be a boy. I sure do. I’ll never forget that wedding.”, Rachael said.

“Well, this is Kai. At that time she was the blond bride, Tammy. And this is Amy who was the groom.”

Rachael looked at us, shook her head, and said, “I still don’t believe that you’re a guy.”

“He is.”, Amy said. “Believe me, I know.”

Ray looked at the people that he’d been talking to, and said, “You wouldn’t believe her as a bride. I did a wedding for them, and I’ve never seen a prettier bride.

“And, Kai you look better with black hair. And I love your skirt, blouse, and jewelry. Your hair is beautiful. But why the Indian look.”

“I am part Navajo, and we both like to dress this way.”

“You both are very pretty.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you two members? I don’t remember seeing you here before.”, Rachael asked.

“No. We’re friends of Helen, Patty, and Rhonda. The first time we were here, you’d just had surgery.”

“You should join us.”

“They’re moving to New Mexico.”, Helen said.

“That’s our loss.”

I glanced over to where Patty was and saw her talking to Claire or Dr. Whitmeyer. I said to the group, “I’m sorry. But I see the person that I came here to talk to, so if you’ll excuse us.”

“Kai, we’ll talk later.”, Rachael said.

“Sure thing, Rachael.”

As we walked up to Patty and Claire, or Dr. Whitmeyer, Claire’s back was to us. I saw Patty start to say something, and put my finger to my lips. Patty smiled.

Amy and I stood there for a minute, then I said, “Excuse me, Dr. Whitmeyer.”

He turned around, looked at us, and said, “You must be mistaken. My name is Claire.”

“No, it’s Dr. Whitmeyer.”

“How do you know?”

“Oh. Because we’ve met before.”

“I would remember such a pretty girl.”

“The last time we met was here, and I was a blond.”

“But, your hair is black, and you’re dressed like the girls that I saw when I was out west. You even have some very pretty silver jewelry.”

“Thank you. This is who my one spirit is. And I think that you’ll remember the very first time that we met better. It was at a seminar, and you were, shall we say, trying to tear apart Mr. Thomas’s research paper.”

His eyes got big, and he said, “You’re Tammy.”

“Sometimes I am. But tonight my spirit is Kai.”

“Kai? I’ve heard that name before.”

“You should have. Because in the introduction to your paper you said, ‘A special thanks to a special person, Miss Kai Nez a member of the Azee'tsoh dine'é Clan of the Navajo Nation and a Nádleeh.’

“I don’t know why I got a special thanks. I didn’t do anything to help with your paper.”

Claire’s eyes got bigger, as she said, “How did you see that paper. No. You can’t be. You … You can’t be that Kai.”

“Why can’t I be? And Dr. Grunewald sent me the paper to critique for you.”

“I … I … I don’t know. A Navajo medicine man that I spent a few days with gave me a lot of information on the Nádleeh. He also told me about a boy that is a Nádleeh and looks so good as a girl that it even confused him for a while. At first, he thought that the Nádleeh was a girl but quickly learned that she was a he. The medicine man told me that the Nádleeh’s name was Kai Nez. So he told me a lot about this Kai, and I used a lot of that in the paper.”

“Guilty on all counts. It was Naainish Yazzie that told you about me. And I am one-fourth Navajo. I am a boy. And we do visit out there, but I live here.”

“Oh God, you are that Kai Nez.”

With a grin, I said, “The one and only.”

“And, ... And, you are also the young lady that was at the seminar. The one that put me in my place, and gave my information to Mr. Yazzie.”

“I guess I was. But I was Tammy then. And Mr. Yazzie prefers to be called Naainish.”

“I thought I’d never meet you. But now I find that I've met you three times.”

“No. You meet Tammy twice. Kai and Tammy share one of my spirits. And sometimes that spirit likes to be Tammy and sometimes it likes to be Kai.”

“Naainish did say that you were a complicated person. But he never put Tammy and Kai together.”

“If you think it’s complicated, you should see it from my side. And Naainish has never met Tammy, even though he knows that she exists. Did you ever fully read Mr. Thomas’s paper?”

“Oh yes. Once I left the seminar that day, I figured that I’d better get to know what his paper was about, so I reread it. And now I find that it was about a two spirit person that I’ve just met.

“I wish I’d met you before I made a fool of myself as I did.”

“If you had, you may have missed out on a few things.”

“What would I have missed out on?”

“You wouldn’t have met Naainish, you probably wouldn’t have found out the truth about two spirit people, you probably wouldn’t have written the excellent paper that you did, and you wouldn’t have met Kai.”

“Young lady. Even though you chastised me like no one ever has, I’m glad I met you.”

“And, I’m glad that I’ve met you too. But, what I really want to do is thank you.”

“Thank me for what?”

“First for having the courage to go back into the seminar and apologizing to Dr. Grunewald and Mr. Thomas.”

“After our talk that day, I just had to do it. It was the way you talked to me. You made me see my mistake.”

“Then I want to thank you for writing an outstanding paper about the two spirit people in the Navajo Nation. Naainish was impressed by it, so was Mr. Thomas and his wife, as was Dr. Grunewald, my parents, and my wife, Amy. And so was I.

“I was impressed by your research. You actually went to the Nation and spoke with people who know or are Nádleeh.”

“Kai.”, Dr. Whitmeyer said. “Once I started looking into the Navajo people and the Nádleeh, I had to go out and see it for myself. Naainish was a wealth of information. And he asked me to put that special thanks in my paper.”

“Why did he do that?”, I asked.

“He never directly told me. But said that without Kai Nez I would not be there.”

“Hmm. The second time we met, which was here and I was Tammy. We talked about you looking for information for your paper. I suggested that I knew someone out west that might talk to you. You gave me one of your business cards, and I talked with him, Naainish, about what you wanted to do. And I gave him your contact information.”

Claire smiled, and said, “Kai. You are a nice person. You keep your word.”

"Claire, you also keep your word. And that's important to me."

Then the meeting started, and we had to stop our discussion. We sat with Patty, Ralph/Rhonda, Helen, Ray/Rachael, and Dr. Whitmeyer/Claire.

We sat through the meeting and a presentation on makeup. During the makeup presentation, the lady doing the session was looking for someone with a darker complexion. Guess who got picked on?

I was hesitant about going up, but Amy talked me into it. The first thing the woman asked was if I was a boy or a girl? Of course, I said I was a boy. Then she asked if I had an Indian background? I said that I was part Navajo. She asked about my blue eyes, and I told her that my dad had European ancestors and my mother was half European and half Navajo.

She then pointed out to everyone my high cheekbones and smooth skin. And then she said it was that way because of my ancestors. Then she went over what I could do with makeup, and as she talked she applied the makeup. And I liked that she used a less is more approach. She did an excellent evening look.

When I was back at the table, both Amy and Helen were impressed with what she had done.

After the program was over, we stood around and chatted with various people, and had cookies and drinks. Amy and I answered some questions about our clothing, hair, and jewelry. Everyone was surprised when they learned that most of the silver jewelry was made by my great-great-grandfather.

We stopped on the way home with Patty and Ralph for a snack and to talk. Patty was curious why Amy had decided to go to New Mexico. And Amy told her, “I feel very comfortable out there. I love the area and the people. And I think it might be interesting to see how others do things. And I’m hoping that I can help the people, my people, in some small way.”

“Amy.”, Patty said. “What you just said doesn’t surprise me. You are a very compassionate person. It’s one of the things that impressed some people at the hospital. You will be missed.”

I saw tears in Amy’s eyes.

On the way home, Amy was quiet. So I asked, “Honey, are you okay?”

“Yeah. … Tommy, are we doing the right thing?”

“The right thing?”

“Uh huh. Going to New Mexico.”

I pulled into a parking lot, parked, turned, looked at Amy, and said, “Amylin, we’ve talked a lot about this decision before we made it. We weighed all the pros and cons. And, yes, we made the right decision. But, if once we get out there and give it a chance, and it doesn’t feel right we can come back. I think we should give it a year.”

“Tommy, you’re right. I shouldn’t let my emotions enter into this.” She took a deep breath, then said, “Okay. We made the correct decision. And we’re in this for at least a year.”

“Good girl.” And I leaned over and kissed her.

When we broke the kiss, Amy said, “Tommy, I love you so much.”

“I smiled back, and said, “Tommy?”

“Uh huh. No matter what, you will always be my Tommy.”

“I love you.”

When we were back at the house, we went into the den to say goodnight to my parents. My mom looked at me, and said, “You changed your makeup?”

“They were doing a makeup demonstration tonight.”, Amy said. “And they were looking for someone with a darker complexion, and they picked on Kai.”

“I like what they did.”

“I do too, mom.”, I said.

“Did you see doctor what’s his face?”, my dad asked.

“You mean Dr. Whitmeyer?”, I asked.

“Yeah him.”

“Yes we did, and it was funny to see how shocked he was to meet Kai. He couldn't believe that Kai was the same girl that called him out at the seminar.”

“I bet that was interesting.”

“It was. But we had a great talk and left as friends. Not a close friends, but a friend.”

“That’s good.”

As Amy and I were lying in bed, she said, “You surprised me.”

“I surprised you?”, I replied.

“Yeah. When we visited the National Parks, you wouldn’t dress as Kai to drive. But tonight, you dressed and drove as Kai without any hesitation.”

“So?”

“Have you become more confident in being Kai?”

“I think. Something just felt good tonight. And being Kai, I felt very comfortable.”

“I could tell. You seemed to be at ease driving, and around all those people.”

“I did feel comfortable. Even driving as Kai. I don’t know if it was because the people there were somewhat like me, or that Kai knows that it won’t be long until we’re back in New Mexico. But I do know, that she feels that things are good.”

“Kai is going to be happy being in New Mexico.”

I smiled at her, and asked, “Is Ajie?”

“Yes.”