Tommy - The Trials and Tribulations of a Girl? - Chapter 17

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Tommy
The Trials and Tribulations of a Girl?

A Novel By Teddie S.

Copyright © 2017 Teddie S.
All Rights Reserved.


Chapter 17

Dr. Grunewald and Detective Thomas

My mother set up a meeting for me with a Dr. Grunewald. She was the friend that my mother had told me about. She's a counselor, actually a psychologist, and an instructor at the University. When I first met her, I was expecting something completely different from what I found. She was a very nice lady, maybe my mother's age or a year older.

We sat down and talked about the incident and my feelings. I told Dr. Grunewald about being afraid of being on campus at night, and that I was always looking over my shoulder. Then how I’d finally remembered the details of the incident, except that I couldn’t see the guy’s faces. She asked me some questions and took a lot of notes.

She then talked about possibly trying hypnosis to help me see their faces and to help me relax. She also said that it might take the capture of the guys that did it before I would entirely be at ease.

So, I asked her if she thought the hypnosis would help me see their faces. She told me that there was a real possibility that it would. And I told her that I was willing to give it a try. She then said that she would like to have someone with me when she did it.

When I was back home, I told my mother and Amy about what had happened, and that I'd set up an appointment for two days later to go back and see her, and that I needed someone with me. Amy, of course, said she go with me. And my mother said, that if I didn’t mind, that she’d like to go along too.

Two days later, Amy, my mother, and I were meeting with Dr. Grunewald. My mother and Dr. Grunewald greeted each other like old friends, which they were. We talked for a few minutes, then Dr. Grunewald said, “Tom. Hypnosis doesn’t always work. Some people can’t be properly hypnotized. It takes a willing subject.”

“I just want this over.”, I said. “So, I guess I’ll be a very willing subject.”

“Good. That chair you’re sitting in is a recliner. Find a very comfortable position, relax, and we’ll get started.”

I kicked back in the recliner and found a position that was comfortable. Dr. Grunewald dimmed the room lights, turned on some nice, soft, music, and started to hypnotize me. The last thing that I remember was her talking to me and me closing my eyes.

It felt like it had been only a few seconds when I woke up, I couldn’t believe how rested I felt as I opened my eyes and stretched. I looked around, and my mother had a little smile on her face, Amy was grinning, and Dr. Grunewald was looking puzzled. And I said, “I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”

Dr. Grunewald said, “No, Tom. You were hypnotized.”

“I don’t remember anything. So, you were able to hypnotize me?”

“Yes. You were an excellent subject. And I must say that this was a fascinating session. Probably one of the most interesting sessions that I've ever had. I've never had anything like this ever happen before.”

“What happened? How long was I under? Did you learn anything about the guys?”

“You were under for a little over an hour. And, yes, we learned a lot.” Then she glanced at Amy and my mother, and added, “But it wasn’t from you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I heard it from a young lady named Tammy.”

“Oh!?”

“Yes. And she appears to be a fascinating girl.”

“Oh?”

“She had a lot of information. It was like she was there watching your beating happen. And feeling your pain.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Your mother had to reminded me that she and I had talked back when you were twelve, and you had shown an interest in girl’s clothes and that I’d told her just to let you explore.

“Then she told me that you make a beautiful girl. And some other interesting things about you. So, I guess you have explored.”

I could feel my face get red.

Dr. Grunewald said, “Tom. Don’t be embarrassed. When I spoke with Tammy, I had a nice talk with a very confident young lady. She’s very worried about you but is happy to see that you are meeting with me.

“I think that this is a fascinating part of you. Do you have time to tell me more about her?”

I looked at my mother, and she said, “Honey. I was amazed that Tammy showed up, and what she had to say. And it’s up to you what and how much you tell Hilda.”

“It was interesting.”, Amy said. “To hear all this from Tammy’s side. And, I think you should tell Dr. Grunewald about Tammy.”

I looked at Dr. Grunewald, and asked, “What ... What did she tell you about the incident?”

“A lot of things. In fact, I think that she could identify the guys.”, Dr. Grunewald replied.

“But how.”

“She’s a big part of you. Isn’t she? A big part of your psyche.”

“Yes, I guess she is. But, why does she remember who did it and I don’t?”

“I’m not sure. But it’s possible that she’s the strongest one, and knew that she had to remember the details to help you. But we may never know.

“But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to know more about her.”

“I guess. Do you have the time now for me to tell you about Tammy?”

“Yes. And, if I didn’t I’d make the time.”

I sat there and filled her in on my life history, and she listened very intently. When I mentioned that a friend of mine, a psychology major, was using me for a project, that I noticed that she took particular notice.

When I finished, she just looked at me for a few seconds, and said, “I have an undergraduate student in one of my classes that is doing a project on a cross-dresser. Is it you that he's doing it on?”

“Is his name Larry?”

“Yes.”

“That’s him. And his dad is the lead detective on my case.”

“Oh. How well do you know this detective?”

“Larry is my best friend, and we’ve known each other all of our lives. So, I also know his dad very well.

“How can Tammy give them the information?”

“Tom. I don't know. Tammy may have to speak to the detective. And I'd make it off the record if she does.”

“I don’t want anyone else knowing about me.”

“Tom, if you want these guys caught. You just might have to.”

“Tom.”, my mom said. “You just might need to. We’ve known Mr. Thomas for a long time, and he’s a nice guy. I know he would never do anything to hurt you.”

“You’re right. I’ll talk to him.”

“Now.”, Dr. Grunewald said. “At first I was concerned that you might have a split personality. But you don’t exhibit the usual symptoms. And after listening to you, there is something special about you, and I also feel that your story is much more than an undergraduate project. You would make a perfect doctoral dissertation subject.”

“I’m sorry, but no!”, I said. “There’s just too many people that know about Tammy already. I just don’t want anyone else knowing about her.”

“Tom. There is something about you that I think is very interesting. I hope your friend, that’s doing this project, can see that.”

Later that day, Amy and I talked with Larry and Kelly about what Dr. Grunewald had told us, and that we needed to speak with Larry’s father about my case, but do it off the record. We hoped that Larry could help us do it. We all agreed that Larry’s dad should know about Tammy. Here we go again.

The following day, Amy and I were sitting at the kitchen table at Larry’s house, with Detective Thomas, Larry, and Kelly. Detective Thomas said, “Tom. Larry tells me that you might have some news about your case, but that you have to talk to me off the record. Why?”

“Sir.”, I said. “After I tell you my story, I think you’ll understand.”

“Okay. We’ll keep it off the record. So, tell me your story.”

So I began, “Back when I was twelve ... ”

When I had finished, Mr. Thomas just looked at me for a moment, then said, “Tom. I’m a detective, and I’m always skeptical of things people tell me. It comes with the job.

“If I'd heard this from anyone but you, I'd say it was unbelievable. But from you, I tend to believe it.”

“I know sir. It’s a strange story. But it’s the truth.”

“Dad.”, Larry said. “I’ve met Tammy, and talked to her. All I can say is, she’s real. And she is a part of Tom.

“Dr. Grunewald, she’s one of my one psych teachers, is the one that hypnotized Tom. I spoke with her, and she told me that she feels that Tammy is a part of Tom’s psyche. And, that Tammy knows a lot about what happened to him.”

Kelly added, “Mr. Thomas. I’ve also met Tammy. I believe that it’s possible that she did see, through Tom’s eyes, what happened and who did it. I know it’s strange, but these things do exist.”

Mr. Thomas looked at Larry, and said, “Son. Last night you gave me an interesting article to read on the Navajo people. And you told me that it might have something to do with this case. So what does it that have to do with this?”

“It has to do Tom.”, Larry said. “He is part Navajo. And, I think that he feels that Tammy is one-half of him. His female side. I know it’s strange, but I’ve done some more research on what the American Indians believe. And, it does have some credence.”

“So, Tom you are part Navajo?”

“Yes, sir. One-quarter.”, I replied. “My grandmother on my mother's side is a full-blooded Navajo.”

“And you believe what the Navajo people believe in is true?”

“Yes, sir. I've lived with this since I was twelve. When I dress as a girl, I feel the girl. I become the girl. I become Tammy.

“I can’t explain why I want to be her, it just happens. It’s like she needs to be. I also think that she sees or feels things that I don’t. And I've had things happen that no one can explain.

“Like when Amy came back here for college, I didn’t know that she was doing it. But something led me down that trail in the park to where she was waiting. And, I hadn’t been on that trail since Amy had left four years before. Was it Tammy that knew and led me there? Then there was Dr. Grunewald hypnotizing me and expecting to talk to me, but she met Tammy. And, there’s been other things.

“If you read the information that I gave Larry, then you learned that the Navajo believe that some people have two spirits. They are people who are half-woman and half-man. And I’m beginning to see that I may be a member of that group.”

“I read that.”, Mr. Thomas said. “It was fascinating and eye-opening.

“Larry. Kelly. What do you two think about this?”

“I haven't been around Tammy that much.”, Kelly replied. “But what I see makes me believe. I see a very confident girl. A girl that knows who she is. And a girl that I consider to be a terrific friend. Plus I'm beginning to believe, as Tom does, in the two spirit connection. I know Tammy is really Tom. But, Tom is also Tammy.”

“Dad.”, Larry said. “I’ve seen Tammy more than Kelly has, and I have to agree with her. Plus Dr. Grunewald is possibly the most skeptical person that I’ve ever met. And from what she told me, she was completely surprised when she started talking with Tammy after hypnotizing Tom. But after some questioning, and talking with Tom’s mother, she felt that what she was hearing was true.

“She also told me that it’s possible that Tom has blocked out the faces, but Tammy hasn’t.

“I’ve had long talks with Tom, Tammy, and Amy. Do I believe in what Tom has told you? Yes.”

Mr. Thomas sat there in thought for a couple of minutes. Then he looked at me and said. “Tom. This is the strangest thing that I've ever run into. I believe that everything that you’ve told me is true. And I do understand why you wanted it off the record.

“I do have one question that I have to ask you. Sorry, but are you a homosexual?”

Amy had been sitting there quietly through all of this, but with a smile, she answered for me, “Mr. Thomas. Believe me. He isn't.”

You could see smiles from everyone there, as Amy continued with, “I also think I know Tammy better than anyone, and I genuinely believe that she is a part of Tommy. She’s in his soul. Intertwined with Tommy.

“There’s a number of reasons for cross-dressing. Some do it for the clothes. Some because they really feel that they are girls. And, there are many other reasons. Tommy does it because he becomes her. Not physically, but in spirit. He doesn’t want to become a girl. He’s happy with being able to go from being Tommy to being Tammy and back. It’s who he is. He is completely at ease either way. I believe that he is, as the Navajo calls them, a half-woman and half-man person.”

Mr. Thomas smiled at Amy, and said, “I knew the answer to my question before I asked. I just needed to ask it. And you, young lady, are his advocate.

“Now. I don't think that we can take this as evidence into a trial. They'd laugh us out of the courtroom. I'm just trying to figure out how to use what Tammy knows.”

“Dad.”, Larry said. “You have some suspects. Don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have pictures of them?”

“Yes.”

“What if you put together a photo array, and show it to Tammy. And, see if she can pick out anyone? That way you’ll know who she thinks they are.”

“Hmm. Interesting idea. But just how do we show the pictures to Tammy? Do we have to hypnotize Tom again or what?”

“I don’t know Mr. Thomas.”, I said. “Until Dr. Grunewald hypnotized me, Tammy hadn’t been around. I think the trauma of the beating hurt her too. I was shocked when Dr. Grunewald told me that she'd spoken to Tammy.”

“So, we won’t be able to do this?”

“I think we might be able to. We may just have to be patient, and see what Tammy might do. It might take a few days, or it could happen quickly. Or, if we have to, we can try hypnotizing me again.”

That night I had a vivid dream about Tammy. The next morning, without hesitation, I dressed as Tammy. I didn’t use the padded panties, as I figured that the tight panties would still hurt too much. But, other than that I was Tammy.

Amy saw me, smiled, and said, “Hi. I’ve missed you.”

“Hi. I’ve missed you too.”, I replied.

“It’s good to have you back.”

“You know that I’ve never really left. But, after I spoke with Dr. Grunewald I knew that I had to help.”

“Thought so.”

A little while later, I called the police department and asked for Detective Thomas. His phone rang, and he answered with, “Detective Thomas.”

I replied with “Detective Thomas. This is Tammy Young. Can we talk?”

“Tammy Young? Tammy Young?”, he replied. “Oh! Yes. Tammy. I’m glad you called. But, let me call you right back. Okay?”

“Yes, sir. You have the number. Don't you?”

“Yes, I do.”

Within thirty seconds the phone rang. I answered, “Hello.”

“Tammy this is Detective Thomas.”, he said.

“Hello, Detective.”

“I wanted to use a secure line for this.”

“I see.”

“So, Tammy is back.”

“Yes, sir. I am. When I woke up this morning, I knew I could help. And, I’d like to look at those pictures.”

When Detective Thomas arrived at our house, my mother let him in and walked with him to the kitchen. She offered him a cup of coffee, which he accepted. Shortly after that, Amy and I walked into the kitchen.

He looked at us, and said, “Hi Amy.” Then he looked at me a little longer, before he said, “And, this must be Tammy.”

“Hello, Detective Thomas.”, I said.

“Larry told me that Tammy was a beautiful girl, and I wasn’t sure if I could believe that Tom could in any way look like a girl, but if you are him. You do make a very pretty girl.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve never witnessed anything like this before. And as you know, being a detective makes me skeptical. Can I ask you a question that I figure only Tom would know the answer to?”

“Yes, sir.”

“When Larry was growing up, he had a nickname. What was it?”

I couldn’t help but smile as I said, “Googie.”

Detective Thomas also smiled, and said, “Tammy. How you do this, I don’t know. But Larry was right. You are a very pretty girl.”

I know I blushed.

Amy and I sat down at the table. Detective Thomas set a stack of pictures on the table, and said, “There are thirty pictures here. Mixed in there are pictures of the people that we think assaulted you. Take your time. Look through them, and set aside the ones that you think attacked you.”

I did take my time. I’d picked up one picture after the other, and take a good look at it. And every once in a while I'd set a picture aside. Then I went through the stack again and didn't pick out any of the others. Then I looked at the set of pictures that I'd set aside. I carefully looked at each one again and removed one of them. Then I handed the remaining pictures, five of them, to Detective Thomas, and said, “There was one more guy that you don’t have here.”

“Are you sure of these five?”

“Very sure.”

“And you say that there was a sixth?”

“Yes. And he appeared to be the leader.”

Then he pulled a small stack of pictures out of his pocket, and as he handed them to me, he asked, “Is he one of these?”

I took the pictures, spread them on the table, looked carefully at each one, then pointed to one, and said, “He’s the one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

Detective Thomas nodded yes, and said, “I sure wish I could let the prosecutor put you on the stand.”

“Me too. But, as you said, it probably won’t be a good thing.”

“Knowing that you are sure that these are the guys, we may be able to get one of them to turn on his friends. Plus, we can now put these guys in a lineup for the witnesses to the other incident and hope they pick the same guys. If they do, we’ve got ‘em. If not, we’ll have to look further.”

“I hope this works.”, I said. “Then Tom can relax.”

“Tammy. Meeting you has been an interesting experience. I know Tom very well, and now meeting Tammy I can see that she’s like Tom. A very wonderful person. If I hadn’t met the Tammy you, in person, I would have never believed all of this.

“And you know. Working with you on this case has brought back the memory of a twelve-year-old boy that was in a traffic accident. I was working the street back then and responded to that accident. And that boy was dressed as a girl. I remember thinking how strange it seemed. I also remember, that after finding out that it was you, talking to Larry about it. He told me that it was just Tommy being Tommy, that he was very curious and had to explore everything. If he wanted to find out how something worked, he’d take it apart. And maybe he could put it back together or maybe not. And I figured that if Tommy’s friends didn’t have a problem with this part of him, then I shouldn’t either.”

I smiled, as I said, “Thank you, sir. Larry is really a great friend. And so is Kelly. I’m happy that you can accept this part of me.

“And sir. Will you please keep Tammy to yourself. There are already too many people that know about her.”

“I will. If someone asks where my information came from, I'll just tell them that I received it from a confidential informant.”

After Detective Thomas had left, Amy and I went back to our room. As we were getting ready to go to the university, I asked Amy, “Honey. You really do think that I’m one of the half-woman and half-man people. Don’t you?”

She looked at me, smiled, and said, “Honey. Don’t you?

“Think about it. This morning you didn’t become Tammy, you were Tammy. Tommy wasn’t here.

“You can become a girl so quickly. I know that you say that it was because your cousin Mary showed you how to act like a girl, but I think there’s more to it. I think Tammy was already there, and Mary just helped her become who she is.

“There is something special about you. What was it that made you hike a trail that you hadn’t hiked in four years. You had no idea that I’d be waiting on our bench. There was something that guided you there. Those two Eagles weren’t there by chance. Remember they were there the last time we had sat on that bench before I moved.

“Think about what happened when Dr. Grunewald hypnotized you. It was Tammy that she talked with, and her reaction was fascinating. And, now she wants you to be a subject for someone’s doctoral thesis. She also sees something.

“I’ve talked to your mom, my mom, your Aunt Linda, and Mary. And, they all agree with me, when Tammy is here Tommy isn’t. Your mom told me that even back when you were twelve, that they were surprised as to how easily you became a girl and liked to do it. It was like you were really a girl. Your mother said, that when you went to the museum with her, it was like doing it with a daughter.

“Both your aunt and cousin said that when they were trying dresses on you and finding a look. It wasn’t a boy that they were working with, but a girl. You reacted as a girl would as you saw something that you loved. You even loved it when they put makeup on you. A boy would have run away.

“When we did that fake wedding. Everyone said how feminine you were. How easily you took on the role of the bride. I knew it wasn't a role. You were a bride. You were in heaven. It was fun watching you.

“During one of the talks I had with your Grandmother Devereux, we talked about your Navajo heritage. And she explained some things about the people with two spirits. She never came right out and said that you were one. But she strongly hinted that she thought that you were.

“Then there were the times that we were together on those rainy days. It was like I was with a girl, not a boy looking like a girl.

“And it's not the clothes. They're just a catalyst. They help the boy's body become as close to the girl as it can. But, I think the boy loves the clothes as much as the girl does.”

Then with that cute smile of hers, she said, “Do I really think that you are one of the half-woman half-man persons? No, I don’t think you are. I know you are.”

“Honey.”, I said. “You do know me better than I know myself. But you’re right. It’s not the clothes. It’s the feelings that are inside me.

“Can I be honest with you about something?”

“I hope so.”, Amy replied.

“Sometimes when we’re making love. I ... I feel that it’s Tammy that’s making love to you.”

With a smile, she said, “There are times that you are a softer, gentler, lover than other times.”

“Is it a bad thing?”

“Honey. Making love with you is never a bad thing. It’s one of the most wonderful things in the world.” And, she kissed me.

“Now tell me.”, Amy asked. “Where did Larry get the nickname, Googie?”

A few days later I heard from Detective Thomas, and he said that using what I, or Tammy, had supplied and doing a lineup with the witnesses to the other incident, that they had arrested the six guys, and that two of them had turned on the rest of them. And all but one, the apparent leader, had admitted to both attacks, and they learned about a third attack that hadn’t been reported. So, it looks like there’s a possibility of a trial, and that I may have to testify.

He also told us that the guys had told them that they had targeted guys that appeared to be gay. I asked Detective Thomas if I seemed to be gay. He said that I had long hair, but a lot of guys my age do, and that I was short, but that I didn't come across as gay. But to also remember that these guys were drunk when they attacked me.

I felt better now when I was on campus. I was no longer looking over my shoulder all the time. But, when I was on campus at night, I always walked in well-lit areas and tried to walk with groups of other people.

While I was recovering from the beating, I had followed Mrs. Taylor's instruction on taking care of my hair. And once I’d started feeling better, I started going to the store and seeing Mrs. Taylor on a regular basis, and Amy would go along. The first time I went to see her. I was a little nervous about a guy going to a beauty shop. But, as we walked in, there was a guy there getting a haircut, so I didn't feel too out of place.

Mrs. Taylor washed, conditioned, trimmed my hair, and put me under a hair dryer for a while. Then combed me out, and put my hair into a guys ponytail.

After she'd finished putting my hair in the ponytail, she asked me, “Could I work on your eyebrows?”

“Why?”, I asked.

“I know some guys like to keep them looking neat. And yours would look better if they were neater and trimmed a little. What I'd like to do, is start by doing a little bit every time you’re here. Trim or remove the longer hairs, and even up the bottom edge a bit. I promise I won’t make them look too feminine.”

I looked over at Amy, who was sitting in the next chair having her hair done. I knew she’d probably heard Mrs. Taylor’s question. She looked at me, and said, “It couldn’t hurt. And, if she does it slowly no one would notice.”

The girl doing Amy's hair looked at me, and said, “They could stand a little work.”

“Okay.”, I said. “Just don’t go overboard.”

Mrs. Taylor smiled, and said, “Good. I think you’ll like it once we’re finished. And, I promise not to do too much.”

She went to work on them, and I thought that she was doing too much. But, when I saw them, I really couldn’t tell what she’d done. So, I figured what the heck. I’ll just let her work on them each time I came in. Besides, I was only going to be coming here once or twice a month.

The doctors finally released me. Saying that everything appeared good, and things were working as they should.

Thank God winter quarter was finally over. And what a hell of a quarter it was. First, my best friend cold-cocks me, then a bunch of guys beat me up and put me in the hospital. I had to have surgery to repair something that was injured in the beating. Luckily my grades didn’t suffer because of the school I missed.

We continued to meet with Larry to help with his project. And, he told us that Dr. Grunewald really wanted him to push me to allow a doctoral student to do their thesis on me. I finally told Larry, that if either he or Kelly went for their doctoral, and they want to, they could use me.

There was only a week between the end of winter quarter and the beginning of spring quarter. So, there wasn’t time to do much of anything, except a visit to Mrs. Taylor, and some fun with our friends.

~o~O~o~

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Comments

This is a first comment from me

which is a bit unusual.I started on this story late and have finally caught up, This chapter points something I have noticed among most of the TG community. My old male self is still very alive. I have buried him as deep as I buried Wendy when I was in denial and growing up. I also have a drop of Cherokee in me. I accept the two spirit belief as being closer to truth than many thing I have heard over time. Getting SRS may have been an overreaction. but it felt right for me. I love the alternative point of view this story presents.For the record I pass, but not very well. Emotionally I feel much more balanced.

Hi Wendy Jean,

Hi Wendy Jean,

Glad that you caught up. And I appreciate the comments. Thank you.

Teddie

It is interesting

When I was a child family dynamics caused me to go from an expressive to a contemplative personality. When I exhibit my feminine side the expressive side also comes out. Glad the thugs got caught.

Interesting little session

Interesting little session Tommy/Tammy had with the Hypnotist. I would say it was rather a total surprise and shock to them all.
Want to see how the courts respond to the 6. Hopefully they are all put away for a very, very, very long time, as it does appear that Tommy was not the first to be assaulted, and was most likely not the last either.

Thanks, Janice Lynn. We'll

Thanks, Janice Lynn. We'll see what kind of a sentence they get. But it will probably not be long enough.

Teddie

Great story

I like the concept of two spirits. It is something unique and interesting. I also like you writing style, everything flows together

I note in the comments that the commentators want the perpetrators to receive long sentences. It is my impression that their attorneys will try to work out a plea deal for a guilty plea, like maybe reducing the crime from aggravated battery to simple battery. Of course, there is the element of a hate crime here. I would guess that the sentences will end up to be a lot less than everyone would want. There is just no excuse for what they did, drunk or not.

Part of a plea deal might include giving testimony against the leader, so with the plea deals and the testimony of the five, it might not be necessary for Tammy to testify.

However, only you, as the author, know what will happen, regardless of my comment, so I will continue to read and enjoy the story as you create it.

Pentatonic

Hi Pentatonic. And of

Hi Pentatonic. And of course, there is always shock probation. Let them find out what prison is like for a short time and then release them on probation for the rest of their sentence.

Teddie