When we returned home from the wedding, there was, along with our grades, a letter from the University of New Mexico's College of Nursing for Amy. They were offering her a full ride scholarship for her master's degree. The College of Nursing here at home had already offered Amy a full ride scholarship. Amy and I talked about this, and it was decided to have Amy’s parents over for dinner with my parents, and have a family meeting.

In bed that night and cuddled up with Amy, I’d said, “You do know what I’ll want to do if we move to New Mexico. Don’t you?”

“Uh huh. Be Kai all the time.”

“Maybe not all the time, but most of the time. Would that be a problem?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Tell me.”

She pushed me flat on the bed, looked down at me, and asked, “Who do I love with all my heart?”

“Me.”

“And, who is me?”

“Tom.”

“And, doesn’t Tom have two spirits. One is Tom, and one can be two different girls. Who are the two girls?”

“Tammy and Kai.”

Now, if I love you, Tom, with all my heart. Doesn’t that mean that I also love Tammy and Kai with all my heart?”

“Yeah.”

“So, do you think I’d have a problem with Kai being here all the time?”

“No.”

She bent down, kissed me, then proceeded to seduce me. And I know I’ve said this before but, God I love this girl.

Monday morning, Amy and I didn’t get up until after my mom and dad had left for work. And it was the week before Christmas, which was this coming Sunday, so the department store where my mom works was very busy, so mom was working all week. And Amy and I had volunteered to do all the housework including cooking.

As we were eating breakfast, I asked Amy, “Honey, any more thoughts on the scholarships?”

“No.”, Amy replied. “I’m still torn between the two.”

“I understand.”

After we’d finished breakfast, Amy called her mother and told her about the letter that she had received from the University of New Mexico, and that we would like them to come for dinner, with my parents and us, to talk about her options. They agreed. And since Bill was home from college for the holidays, he was coming along.

Amy decided that we were going to make a Southwestern casserole for dinner and have cinnamon crisps with a fruit salad for dessert. So we went shopping for the things we needed. The things that we needed for the casserole and the cinnamon crisps were easy to find. But what we needed for the fruit salad was a little more difficult. Try to find fresh fruit in December. But we did, there is a farmers market that is open all year, and they had the apples, melons, strawberries, and raspberries that we needed.

That afternoon we straightened up the house and started dinner. Aunt Ruth had made this dinner for us, and it was delicious. I just hoped ours would taste half as good.

The mail came, and there were two letters for me, one from our financial advisor and the other from the organization that was managing the scholarship. Both letters told me the same thing that a donation for ten-thousand dollars had been made to the scholarship in the name of Dr. and Mrs. Charles Young. My mom and dad, and that a few others had also been received.

I showed the letter to Amy, and she smiled.

Just before my parents were due home, Amy and I went and changed. She slipped into one of the fancy blouses and long skirts that we had bought out west. Hmm. Was she subconsciously leaning towards the offer from New Mexico?

I just changed from a t-shirt to a nice button up shirt.

As the seven of us were sitting down to dinner, Amy’s dad asked, “So what’s this big meeting all about?”

“Daddy, let's wait until we’ve eaten.”, Amy said

After we’d eaten the Southwestern casserole and started on the cinnamon crisps with a fruit salad for dessert, Amy looked at her dad, and said, “Well, daddy. I’ve received two offers of full-ride scholarships. The one from here and now I have one from the University of New Mexico. And we need your input. And, daddy, I know that you wouldn’t be happy if we move to New Mexico. But please try to be objective.”

“Honey, I will.”, Amy’s dad said. “I know that all of this is important to you. So, give us the details.”

Amy got up, retrieved the two letters, handed them to her father, and said, “Read these and pass them around.

“And while you’re doing that. Tom and I have talked about this, and need help. We know that both offers are great. Leaving here would be hard. But going out there is a dream. We both love it out there.”

After my dad had read the letter, he said, “It sounds like they both want you. Do you know why?”

“Here, I do.”, Amy replied. “In New Mexico, I don’t know.”

“It might be useful in helping you decide if you find out.”

“Daughter.”, Amy’s dad said, “If you moved to New Mexico we would miss both you and Tom. But we know how you feel about that area. Don’t let how we feel stand in your way. And remember, that if things don’t work out, you can always come back here.”

“I know daddy.”, Amy said.

We talked about all the pros and cons of both for a long time. Including the one option that they offered in New Mexico. Then Amy’s brother, Bill, who had been quiet through all of this, said, “Sis, remember that you only live once.”

I looked at him, grinned, and said, “Out of the mouth of babes.”

He frowned at me, then shaking his head, he grinned.

We sat there in silence for a minute or two, then my mom asked Amy, “Honey, has this talk been any help.”

“Yes, mom. It has.”, Amy said. “I see things I need to do and find out. And I also see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“I’m glad. It’s a big decision.”

“I know.”

We said goodnight to Amy’s parents by saying, “See you Christmas day.”

“Be sure and come hungry.”, Amy’s mom said.

“Tom’s always hungry.”, Amy said.

After Amy’s parents had left, I said to my parents, “Thanks, mom and dad.”

“I guess that you’re welcome.”, my dad said, “But for what?”

“The donation to the scholarship.”

“Honey, you’re welcome.”, my mom said. “We needed to be part of it.”

“There were also some other donations made. All but one of those was anonymous.”

“Whose wasn't?”

“The Navajo Nation Council.”

“Really!”, My mother said.

“Yes.”

That night in bed, I asked Amy, “Well, did all of the talk help or hinder?”

“Oh. It helped.”, Amy replied. “I’d like to call Mrs. Etsitty in New Mexico tomorrow and see what I can find out. Plus I have some questions for the people here.”

“So, do it.”

“It’s Christmas break. She may not be there.”

“If she isn’t, call after the break. You don’t have to make a decision tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“Also, you don’t have to accept either scholarship.”

“Huh?”

“There’s enough money in our investments to more than pay for it.”

“That’s your money.”

“Amylin Elizabeth! That’s our money. To use as we see fit.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“That’s okay little girl.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Oh, something. What?”

“What if I decide to accept the New Mexico scholarship, that we turn down the part of the scholarship that covers class fees with the stipulation that it's given to a promising student that has the need.”

“I like your thinking.”

We waited until eleven in the morning on Tuesday to try and call Mrs. Etsitty in New Mexico. I sat next to Amy as she dialed, someone answered the phone, and Amy said, “Hello this is Amy Young. Is Mrs. Etsitty in.” … “She is. Could I please speak to her.” … “Yes. It’s about a scholarship for grad school.” … “Yes. I’ll hold.”

Amy whispered to me, “She’s there.”

“Yes. Hello Mrs. Etsitty. I don’t know if you’ll remember me, but this is Amy Young.” … “Yes.” … “Yes. You sent me a letter saying that I have a scholarship available to me with the university.” … “Yes. I was very surprised. And I’m curious as to why you sent that to me without me applying for it.” … “Yes. That would be fine. I should be here all day.” … “Okay. So long.”

As Amy hung up the phone, she said, “She’s going to call me back. She wants the dean of the nursing school in on our conversation.”

“Oh.”, I said. “The plot thickens.”

About forty-five minutes later the phone rang, and I answered it. It was a woman for Amy. I handed the phone to Amy, sat there, and listened.

Amy said, “Hello this is Amy.” … “Yes, Mrs. Etsitty. It’s fine.” … “Hello, Dean Milford. It’s a pleasure to speak with you.” … “Yes ma’am, at the end of my sophomore year. I was surprised when they tapped me for membership.” … “Yes, I’ve been on the Dean’s List every quarter and a few times on the President's Honor List including last quarter.” … “Yes ma’am the President’s Honor List.” … “Yes, we were curious why I received the scholarship without applying for it?”

Amy and the ladies on the other end talked for a few minutes, then Amy said, “I see. I appreciate that.” … “And I am interested in your offer.” … “Yes. Just one question. If I decide to accept this scholarship, the only part of the offer that I’d like is the married student’s apartment, and I’d like to have the rest given to a student that could use the scholarship money.” … “Let's just say that I don’t need it, but a place to stay would be helpful.” … “I see. You couldn’t do that.” … “Any suggestions?” … “You mean the Chief Nastas Todachine Memorial Scholarship?” … “Yes, we’re well aware of it. We knew the Chief.” … “The university here has also given me a scholarship, and I haven’t made up my mind yet.” … “Yes, I will. As soon as I decide.” … “It was also nice speaking with you Dean Milford and nice talking with you again Mrs. Etsitty. And I will let you know one way or the other as soon as I decide.” … “Oh. Mrs. Etsitty, one last thing, could you send me information on the married student apartments.” … “That would be great. Thank you. And so long for now.”

Amy hung up the phone, sat back, and said, “Interesting. And I’m going to kill Patty.”

“Patty.”, I said. “What’s she got to do with this?”

“The reason that they gave me this scholarship without me applying was, first they had a scholarship for master’s candidate that no one was qualified for. So instead of losing the money, they went looking for someone, and Mrs. Etsitty remembered me and my interest in the school. And she was also impressed with me.

“They contacted our university and requested my transcript. They also talked with my dean, and then with people who had worked with me during my clinicals, including Patty. And I guess what Patty told them about me, gave me the edge on it.

“I guess everyone told them that I was confident, a self-starter, and I was not afraid to make suggestions and accept constructive criticism while I was doing my clinicals. The dean was surprised that I was tapped for membership in Sigma Theta Tau before I was a junior.

“And they feel that I can add a lot to their program, not only as a student but as a graduate assistant instructor. As well as working in the hospital, and for those reasons they added the free housing as a perk.

“And I’m going to kill Patty because she didn’t tell me about this.”

“Maybe they asked her not to tell you.”, I said.

“You may be right.”, Amy said.

“So. Why did you mention the Chief Todachine Scholarship.”

“When I asked her about giving part of my scholarship away, she told me that they couldn’t do that. It was all or nothing, and that I could donate money to another scholarship. I asked for a suggestion, and she mentioned ours along with others, but when she mentioned ours she slaughtered the Chief’s name, so I had to correct her.

“Let's have lunch. Then I’m going to call Patty.”

“Don’t be too hard on her.”, I said.

“I won’t. I’ll listen to her first, and then I’ll yell at her.”

After lunch, I left Amy alone to call Patty. A half an hour later she found me in the den, and say next to me, and I said, “Well?”

“She said that Mrs. Etsitty did call her.”, Amy replied. “And they had a nice talk about me. And that she just answered the questions that were asked truthfully. And they did ask her to not talk to me about it.

“Patty does know how we feel about New Mexico, and she told me that she would hate to see us move out there, but couldn’t blame us if we did.”

“And that took a half hour?”

“No, silly. There was girl talk too.”

“I should have known. Did this help with your decision?”

“With our decision. It didn’t help or hurt.”

Christmas came, and we exchanged some nice gifts with our families.

Right after New Years winter quarter started, so it was back to classes, meeting with friends, and other stuff. One thing she didn’t talk about with our friends was the scholarships.

Amy and I did talk about her scholarships, but no firm decision yet. But, I did get a feeling that she was leaning towards New Mexico.

A week after classes started, Amy said to me, “You do remember telling Kelly that she could see the pictures of our faux wedding.”

“Sure. And we talked about kicking it up a notch by Tammy dressing in the wedding gown again.”

Amy grinned as she said, “I figured you hadn’t forgotten that part. When do you want to do it?”

“Any time. And the sooner, the better.”

“Want to dress up in pretty clothes again don’t you.”

“In a heartbeat.”

So, we put a plan together. We’d have the crew over on a Saturday night for dinner. Early on that Saturday afternoon Amy and I would visit Helen, our hairdresser friend, and have my hair and makeup done. I’d go in as Tammy because I’d look nothing like a boy coming out.

Then when we were back home, we’d put together the dinner, then I’d start getting dressed in my wedding attire with Amy’s help. Then just before our guests were supposed to arrive, Amy would help me into my wedding dress. Then Amy would greet our guests with some excuse why I wasn’t there.

Amy would take our guests into the den, start showing them the wedding album. And I’d make an entrance.

We told my parents what we were up to, and when I mentioned frybread tacos my dad’s eyes lit up. And he said, “Can we come to?”

“Can you come where, dad?”

“To dinner with you and your friends. I love frybread tacos.”

“Of course, daddy.”, Amy said. “And you too mom.”

The next day I called Helen, and she was happy to hear from me. I explained what we were up to and wondered if she could fit me in early next Saturday afternoon. And she could. Part one was in place.

Then we got a hold of Maria and Mark, and Kelly and Larry, and mentioned a dinner of frybread tacos on Saturday night. And with the mention of frybread tacos, we got a ‘try to keep us away’ from everyone. Part two is done, and the trap is set.

On Friday after classes, we went shopping for all the fixings that we’d need. Along with the frybread tacos we decided for dessert that we’d make the cinnamon crisps with a fruit salad. It had gone over really well the last time we made it. The bait for the trap was in hand.

Saturday when I got up, it was Tammy. I just felt that Tammy needed to be here all day. So it was the special padded panty, a bra with padding, a pair of jeans, it was cold, one of the fancy blouses from New Mexico, a pair of cute earrings, a nice bracelet, some good perfume, some light lipstick, and a pair of flats. Oh, I did my hair in a ponytail.

As my parents were going out, my mom asked, “Honey, what time’s dinner.”

“At six. I’m going to see Helen at one.”, I replied.

“Going all out for this. Aren’t you?”

“We figured that it would be fun to go all the way with hair and makeup.”

“Girls love to be pampered. Tell Helen that I said hello.”

“I will mommy. Have fun.”

At one o’clock Amy and I were walking into the beauty shop at the department store. Helen was standing at the front desk, and said, “Good afternoon girls.”

“Hi, Helen.”, we said together. And we giggled a little.

As we made our way to Helen’s workstation, she said, “So, we're doing what we did for the wedding?”

“Yes.”, I said. “I’m going to be dressing like the bride again.”

“I just don’t know about you. You just have too much fun. Okay, up in the chair and let's get to work.”

I sat in her chair, and she put a cape around me. Then she stood back, looked at me, and went to work. As she worked, we told her about the two scholarships. Her comment was, “So I’m going to lose two of my favorite customers?”

“I’m not sure what we’re going to do.”, Amy said. “It’s a tough decision.”

Helen fussed with my hair. Brushed it. Combed it. Sprayed it with hairspray. Fussed some more. Sprayed some more. Then she stood back and looked at me.

Then she looked at Amy, and asked, “What do you think honey?”

“It’s beautiful, Helen.”, Amy replied.

She looked at my face, picked up a pair of tweezers, and started working on my eyebrows. I said, “Not the eyebrows again?”

“I’m just going to clean them up a little bit.”, Helen said. “You’ve been keeping them nice,”

“Amy keeps after me.”

She only worked for a few a short time on my eyebrows, when she finished, she said, “Now, for your makeup.”

It was the usual, foundation, eye makeup, blusher, lipstick, and all. As she finished, Helen said, “I love working on your face. It’s so smooth, and your high cheekbones make you look so feminine. So it doesn’t take much work.”

Then she turned the chair and had me look at my self. I stared for a minute, then said, “Helen, you do amazing work.”

“So you like it?”

“No. I love it.”

As I paid the bill, I handed Helen a nice tip. She said, “Honey, that’s too much.”

“No, it’s not.”, I said. “You’ve helped me a lot. And put up with me. And it’s the least that I can do. So no argument.”

“Honey, you are a wonderful person and a great client. Have fun tonight.”

“Oh, I will.”

“And, Amy, I know that you’ll make the correct decision.”

“Thanks, Helen. I think it’s the hardest decision that I’ve ever had to make.”

We went back home and started working on the dinner. Amy disappeared for a few minutes, and when she came back, she said, “Everything is laid out on the bed.”

We started putting everything together, so it just had to be cooked, when my mom walked into the kitchen. Amy looked at her and said, “Mom, everyone is supposed to be here in about half an hour. Could you help Tammy dress, and then watch everything while I’m showing them the album, and they’re meeting Tammy, the bride.”

“Sure honey. Come on Tammy, let’s get you dressed.”

My mother and I walked back to my room. And on the bed was the white satin bustier with garter straps, a pretty pair of white satin panties, a pair of white nylons, and a long white slip. On the floor, by the bed, was my pair of white satin shoes with the four-inch heels. And hanging on the closet door was the gown.

These heels, could I still wear them? I guess we’ll find out.

I quickly undressed down to my padded panty. Then I slipped into the panty and picked up the bustier. I held it against my chest and mom fastened the hook and eye fasteners. I loved the feeling of the bustier squeezing me tightly.

Then I ran the garter tabs down through legs of my panty and then sat on the bed. I picked up one of the nylons, gathered it up, and worked it up my leg. Then I did the same to the other leg. Then I fastened the front garter tabs. I stood, attached the back garter tabs, and then the ones on the sides

I looked and checked the seams of the nylons and adjusted them.

My mother had been watching me, and said, “Honey, you do that like you do it every day.”

With a little smile, I said, “Once a girl learns how to put something on, it becomes second nature.”

Mom just shook her head.

Then I slipped my forms into the long line bra. Then I remembered that they didn’t fill the cups correctly. I walked over to the chest of drawers and retrieved my old set of forms.

Mom said, “You still have those old things?”

“Sure. It was my first pair, and I figured I’d keep ‘em for posterity.”

“Do you need a bigger size of your good ones?”

“No, they work well with everything but the bustier. Though you know, it might be nice to have another set.”

“I’ll get you another set. But you might look better with a little more.”

“You think?”

“Yes. Maybe one size larger.”

“Okay.”

I slipped the old forms into the bustier with the newer forms and, like before, it looked better.

Mom said, “That does look better.”

“Last time.”, I said. “Amy said that it looks like I have a nice set.”

I saw my mom blush, and I asked, “Mom, is something wrong?”

“No.”, my mom said. “I guess not. It just surprised me that Amy would say something like that.”

“She said it was girl talk.”

“Girl talk. Hmm.”

I slipped my slip over my head trying not to mess up my hair. Then I looked at my shoes. My shoes with the four-inch heels. I sat down and slipped my feet into them. At least it felt like they still fit. I stood up and was a little wobbly, but after walking around the room for a minute, I felt better.

Then we heard the doorbell, and we figured that the crew was here.

My mother took the dress off of the hanger and helped me step into it. I carefully worked my arms into the sleeves as she pulled it up. We adjusted the sleeves, so they sat correctly, and then mom buttoned the buttons up the back. We then placed the pearl necklace around my neck and earrings on my ears.
Mom then carefully placed the veil on me.

This gown is a three-quarter sleeved, empire waist, with a wide satin band at the waist. The skirt was lace covered and floor length, and it had a short train. The veil is an ivory-colored pillbox hat with a birdcage veil that only partially covered one eye.

Mom stood back looked me over, and said, “You make such a lovely bride.”

“Thanks, mom.”, I replied. “Do you ever wish I’d been born a girl?”

“Honey, just think of all the fun we’d have missed out on if you were born a girl. It’s been so much fun helping you and watching you find your feminine side.”

“Mom, I love you.”

“I love you too, honey. I’d better go see to dinner.”

“And I’ll go stand and make an entrance at the right time.”

“Be careful in those shoes. You haven’t worn them for a while.”

“I know mom. I’ll be careful. And we’ll be in as soon as we can to help with dinner.”

“Don’t worry. Amy gave me instructions.”

Mom left, and I surprised myself as I walked down the hall towards the den in four-inch heels without a problem. I stopped at the door and listened to the conversation in the den.