I had a tough session in group therapy today. One of the women talked about having been given electroshock treatment, and she started crying talking about how it made her lose memory.

So I have started to go to church again....My birthday is this saturday and I had a dream last night that my uncle was wishing me a happy birthday which was so nice also I got to wish him a late birthday and he told me to make sure I told everyone that he is doing ok up in heaven and that he is watching all us keeping his memory alive and that he is thrilled that everything is going as good as it is

Yet again, I'd just like to say a huge thanks to all those who have bought my new book A Chance Would be a Fine Thing. It has already received a 5 star review on Amazon.... REVIEW

From today's Guardian, under the title, Voices of the trans community.

See what you think - will there always be prejudice? I suspect so.

First off, the cheap plug that today is my birthday. I am 38 and 1 depending how you look at things. This will be my first birthday as Katie and that's something to celebrate in and of itself.

Before I post anything else, just thought I'd take the time to thank everyone for all of their wonderful comments. They are much appreciated and help to keep me motivated. I've wanted to reply to all of the comments for some time now, ever since I posted my first story back in November, but I'm not entirely sure I waited until now, just like I'm not sure why I hung around this site for so long as a guest reader, just like I'm perplexed as to why I didn't start writing until 2011.

what would it be, and why. Only one thing. For example, if you changed your age, that's it. You're a younger you, with no other changes. If you change gender, that's it - you'd be a female version of yourself at your current age.

For the 2nd time, I had someone assume I had been married to a man. As the last time this happened, I didnt correct their assumptions, but I feel different about it now. I feel guilty, that I lied by not correcting him. I always wanted to pass, to have people assume I'm a woman full stop.

So why do I feel so guilty?

Hi i'm searching a story but i don't remeber the name or author.

I just heard from my brother. My mother passed away this morning at 1:15, PST. I want to thank all of those who prayed and thought the good thoughts. Thank you all very much.

Woke up this AM to winds blowing trash cans and various bits of lawn furniture about the yard and streets. Seems like we have gusts of over 50 MPH here although some seem higher than that. Kinda worried about losing power at some point if this keeps up, since usually if a squirrel farts sideways we tend to get brownouts. (pun intended)

very good article here

http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-01-18/guy-talk-why-a-straight-...

I would normally not do this, but I am asking a simple request. I just found out my mother is dying from cancer and there is a possiblility she may not make through the night. I understand if it is her time, The good Lord will take her, but what I am asking is for prayer. Not just for her but my father too.

Please and thank you

Ok I am going back and rereading some of my fav stories and I go to read Tom Morph's Whisperwind trilogy and it is off Fictionmaina as if Tom Morph never existed what happened?

I have just read Suzie's comment about 'The Gender Spectrum' and it is just so apt!

I have a sequence in a story I am working on and just don't know what the term or name of the crime for the attackers offense would be. It could be anywhere from agravated assault to attempted murder. Could someone PM me?

Had a conversation at work with Aurella, and I was grousing about my lack of progress lately with my transition, and she said. "Oh please. I've had SRS, and I can wear a skirt and pigtails and still get called 'Sir.' You met my mom, and just yesterday she referred to you as 'the woman who came over once'. You cant complain about your progress."

I was taken aback, and said, "But ... I wasnt trying to be feminine."

Okay, you all know that Brandy Dewinter is one of my best friends, and that she has on many an occasion (as in just about every time), infinitely improved my scratchings with her wit, her eye for just the right word, and her ability to ferret out and then help correct story inconsistencies. On top of that, she is one of the best storytellers in our genre.

For those readers who like to be sure that a story will be completed before they begin to read it, Perspectives is now finished (as are all of my stories at the time of posting this blog).

I got a package today.

Kylie's laptop arrived, and I just about lost it when I saw it on my doorstep.

I'm .... just going to cry for a bit, okay?

My daughter has finally had an MRI scan. The good news - she doesn't have MS. The bad news - she has a tumour on the top of her spine which is causing the symptoms of muscle weakness, loss of coordination, tremor etc. She's on the urgent list for surgery at the University of Wales Hospital, Cardiff.

We have heavy snow forecast for tonight & tomorrow, so it looks as if I won't be able to get to see her this weekend.

Life's a bitch...

I used to keep a secret, and yesterday I kept a secret.

They were sort of the same secret - That I'm transgender, but how I feel about it is totally different.

I tried to kick over the traces on Fictionmania where I used to post stories since 2001. I have forgotten my old passwords and even my old user name. I don't even have my old email address so I cant go back to my stories and add new chapters. Bummer!!!!!
I used to have over 200 chapters on fictionmania and I used to rate as one of the most prolific contributors. Now I can't even edit my own profile or anything. I cant even use the new formats nor can I contact the site administrators.

In my eyes the site has deteriorated as far as user friendliness is concerned.

I'm working on a story and gonna need an editor/ second pair of eyes to double check my work. Any takers? If so contact me at [email protected]

I would like to thank ALL of you that commented on my last blog about Jem and also all of the PM's and the story comments which I'll be getting to asap.

Soooo, I'm sitting here in front of my computer, reading some things, and I read about the struggles of some of the girls here.

I know I'm not the first to think about this, but it's new to me.

Touch the Light, who is posteing the Transmigration stories, is flat out one of the best authors ever to post TG fiction on this site.

for all your hard work and vigilance in keeping the site up and running. Erin, Piper, Samantha, Cat, my eternal thanks for all you do for us. Top Shelf is my home on the net. It means almost as much to me as my real life home.

Huggles and love and gratitude,
Catherine Linda Michel

Well, last night I tweaked my knee at work. Hurt like a bear and had to call for help as I could barely stand.

So I gotten a PM and while it was just the opinion of one person it did get me to thinking and wondering?

Is this getting stale?

The Guardian/Observer has, in a somewhat mealy-mouthed manner withdrawn Burchill's bigoted rant from their website. However, they haven't written a single word of criticism about Burchill, so expect her bigotry to shine forth in her future writings.

Someone had offered to be my editor a while back ago and I wanted to take them up on the offer but couldn't find the message in my inbox. I have converted a different kind of life into a novel and will put it on Kindle, but it needs one more solid edit. Any takers?

If anybody happens to care, I just wanted to post an update on the writing of "Jake goes for help",

Hey folks. Just a heads up. I'm not super terrific great about sharing information on the fate of one of the least popular stories on the site, so I'm trying to be a little bit better about it.

I have recently posted a new story, after over eleven months of trying to write I managed to eke out a short story. I have one comment out of over 350 reads. Either I am a whiz at writing or I totally suck, It would be nice to know if there are any errors, is there continuity, did one get lost in the story. I've been in a depression and want to ensure I am doing okay again. I admit I need validation.

Need a test reader to bounce ideas off of.

Well, yesterday was a real mixed bag day. First, I woke up with a story idea, and had it written and published in about an hour, and since it was a happy romance story, I got an extra buzz from being able to write something other than darkness.

Then, I went to my local trans support group and got the bad news that three of the founding members were quitting the group, and suggesting that the group disband entirely. Not sure where that leaves me for support, but ah, well.

Thank you to all of you who wrote and asked if i was ok. I had a house sitting job and well i have been homeless ( 2008) so having a house to myself is orgasmic. I just had time to just be Susie homemaker and be alone . Its nice to know people care. As far as the photos I post of me well there from the 60s when i was a kid i am 57 and the 16 playing keeps me from dealing with the issues i have no i don't do doctors just watching to see whats next moment by moment,
Love and hugs
Hanna

Well, I got a message from Jade telling me Kylie is alive, in her words "no thanks to you." I dont care. She can blame me for not picking up on the clues if she wants to. Kylie is alive. That's what matters.

New page is up, enjoy! :)

Ok sorry to disappoint you people, but I am not as innocent as I try to be.

Well, Kylie's friend Jade got a hold of me to yell at me for failing Kylie. Can't say much. She's right. I could have done more. But she's also wrong. In the end, only Kylie could have made the choice to not give up. Nothing we said or did would have made as much of a difference as her having the will to live. Of course knowing that doesnt make me feel any less guilty....

Ok. Folks I've got some stuff to talk about, lend me you ear for a bit. I had a story idea and wrote it out, done right? Nope the idea came from my head but what comes out of my fingers barely resembles the language we call English. If you have been unfortunate to see my first drafts I apologize and hope your eyes recovered after a bit. Why am I telling you this, because I had that story go up today.

(that's an awful title, but I have no better ideas)

I've been lurking around BC for a while now, two years, sixteen weeks if my profile is to be believed, but I know I was around long before that. I'm finally delurking to say thank you to all the authors. You are all tallented, and I find lots of great material every time I start looking. I also figured this blog might be a good place to get some thoughts out of my head, and maybe find some answers.

New story bubbling and brewing

I still have 1 discount code for Windows 8 Professional upgrade that will let you get Windows 8 for $15. The offer expires at the end of the month. Send me a PM if you want it. I'm not selling it or Windows, this is straight from Microsoft.

{{Hugs}}

Frank

P.S. I ran it for 2 months and went back to Windows 7 if I need I can always reinstall it in the future.

Item that appeared today on a news website I monitor:

Misunderstandings: Transsexual vs transgender

Wolfpacks have a hierarchy of respect, obligation and deference. At the top of this hierarchy are the Alpha Wolves, usually a mated pair but sometimes a single individual. At the bottom of the structure is the Omega Wolf. The Omega eats last and is chased and bitten by all the wolves higher up in the structure.

If the Omega wolf dies or leaves the pack, a new Omega ends up being chosen quickly and is not always the wolf that was formerly the one just above the old Omega.

I got even worse news about Kylie tonight. Her best friend messaged me on Facebook, and told me that the local sheriff had come by. Apparently, Kylie had told the shelter where she was living that she was moving in with her friend, and the shelter was quite concerned about her mental state. And since her friend had not even heard from her much less have her show up, it seems clear to me that she had this well planned so no one could possibly stop her.

I wrote a poem in tribute to her:

"Dont give up" she said,

The last words from her lip