Down but not out - Part 12

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Seeing Serena putting on her coat hit me hard. All my plans just disappeared in an instant.

“Serena?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I…?”

"Yes, you are a bit stuck for words, aren't you? I can't say that I'm surprised by what you are doing. Your mind hasn't been really here for a few days now. Why don't we make ourselves an early breakfast and talk over what it was that you were going to do? Then we can do it together because believe it or not, sunshine, I'm here for the long walk."

“You can’t understand?”

"Try me? Go on. For once let down your guard and let someone into your life again. I thought that we'd got beyond these walls, and for a while, they seemed to be coming down, but two days ago, they went up again. What happened? Was it something that I said or did?"

I shook my head.

“It wasn’t you. I… I remembered a holiday that I’d had over ten years ago with my Uncle Wally.”

“Uncle Wally? You have never mentioned him before? Why didn’t you go and find him when you were on the road?”

"My wife's so-called friends made it clear that I needed to be seen and not heard. I remembered this from my visits to her family in the Danube Delta. They would go hunting deer. They'd terrify the animal by making themselves visible but silent. The poor thing would run around in circles until it dropped to the ground exhausted. Only then would they go in for the kill. Now, do you understand?"

“Sort of. Why don’t we get some coffee and you can tell me all about Uncle Wally and this holiday of yours? I guess from the tone of your voice, that it was a pretty special trip?”

There seemed to be no alternative but to go with her and tell her everything about Uncle Wally.


While it seemed an age but was probably more like five minutes later when Serena put down a mug of coffee in front of me.

“Right sunshine. Who is Uncle Wally?”

I just looked at the mug and wished that I was a million miles away.

“Great Uncle Wallace Scott, Royal Navy Retired was the second cousin of my father. He was always there in the background during my childhood. Well, when he wasn’t at sea. He retired with the rank of Captain the year I left school. I sort of lost track of him for a few years. My parents divorced while I was failing miserably at University. I didn’t make it past the first year. PPE [1] was not my thing despite the previous three generations of Scott’s all taking it, getting a 1st and going into some sort of Politics. The fact that I could not lie through my back teeth in debates probably sealed my fate. As the joke says, ‘how do you tell when a politician is lying?’ He opens his mouth.”

Serena laughed.

I looked at her feeling slightly bewildered.

“So… you are the son of Sir Charles Scott MP and former Minister of something not very important?”

“Obnoxious lying bastard pratt who could never keep his dick out of sight. I disassociated myself from him a long time ago. He was probably glad to see the back of me as it was clear that I was nothing more than an embarrassment to him and his ilk. The members of ‘the Bullingdon Club’[2] are amateurs when compared to him and his cronies.”

Serena sniggered.

“That’s no way to talk about your father?”

“It is… For starters, he screwed every nanny that was ever employed to look after me, every housekeeper, every secretary he has ever employed and a few more besides. That's why he was forced to resign after being in his minister's job for less than two weeks. One of his conquests had become very pregnant and sold her story to the News of the World shortly before Rupert Murdoch was forced to shut it down.”

“I think I remember that.”

“He was deselected by his constituents a few months later and he buggered off to some tropical island without my mother who divorced him but the old bugger had shifted all his money to foreign parts so she got nothing. She gave me a right slagging off and blamed me for everything. The last I heard of her was a letter from her lawyers telling me to never try to contact her again otherwise, I'd be reported for stalking. I found out about two years ago that she'd had a mental breakdown and was institutionalised in an asylum or whatever they call it in South Africa for trying to kill a Police Officer with a Machete."

“Some family you have then?”

“Bunch of tossers.”

“What about Uncle Wally?”

“Probably the only sane one of the whole bunch. The story goes that he joined the Navy just to get away from the rest of the family.”

“That does not seem to be that difficult?”

“Nah. After I failed miserably to follow in my father’s not so esteemed footsteps, I was at a loose end when I literally bumped into Uncle Wally in London.”

“That’s some coincidence, isn’t it?”

“I’d taken a job working in a pub on Charing Cross Road. It paid minimum wage but there was a tiny room up in the attic that gave me a place to stay for free. Anyway, I’d been out for a walk one Sunday before my shift started, and I was passing Stanfords' Map shop when Uncle Wally emerged and… after a few shrieks, we had a big hug."

“That can’t have, been it?”

I shook my head.

“I told him where I worked and that I had to run because my shift was starting. He came by a few days later armed with a load of maps and this thick volume that turned out to be a European Railway timetable. He said to me…. Right, now Craig, fancy a little trip?”

“How little a trip?”

“Six weeks in the end. Quite memorable really.”

“You lost your virginity then?”

Her directness was startling.

I nodded.
“In a farmhouse near Narvik, Norway. It was snowing hard which I thought was strange for the middle of August. I later found out that it is an odd year if they don’t get their first snowfall of the year in August.”

I looked at the mug of coffee. I had not even touched it.

“That was the first time I’d been truly happy. I spent a whole week in the bleak north living with an incredible Norwegian woman as a woman.”

“What was Uncle Wally doing while you were bonking this Norwegian woman?”

“He’d met up with some old Norwegian Navy pals in a bar near the port, and had gone by sea up to North Cape. Some sort of Viking ritual he said but it was more like the chance to smuggle a load of Russian Vodka given how much lower in the water their ship was when it returned.”

“Sounds like you had a whale of a time on the trip?”

“We did. Wally met a lovely woman at a topless beach north of Copenhagen. They were married a few months later. Sadly, she died less than six months later. Wally knew that she was on borrowed time and he made what time she had left, the happiest and most enjoyable period in her life. I rather lost touch with him after that due to becoming involved with a Romanian crook who… well, you know the rest.”

“A case of out of sight, out of mind until something brought him back into your mind?”

I nodded my head.

“I was thinking about the future, my future. I’d had some thoughts about going to visit him just before I was sideswiped by that Transit.”

“And that isn’t here?”

“I’m truly sorry but I just can't see myself working here in any role that involves responsibility. I think that being my own boss as a window cleaner and then on the road, I… I just feel more comfortable without the responsibility of what being here would entail.”

“Don’t keep doing yourself down. You are better than that,” exclaimed Serena.

“It is not that. It is more of being happy with what I’m doing. The last thing I want to do is be doing something that is not really me. As I've gotten into this living and moving and acting like a woman, the less I've liked the idea of me running the day-to-day activities of this place. Sorry."

“I think I understand. I know that you could do the job but if it makes you uncomfortable then there has to be something else.”

Then Serena stood up and started getting some food out of the fridge.

“What are you doing?”

“Making us some breakfast. If you are going to go walkabout again then at least leave on a full stomach. Perhaps I can take you to the station? No sense in walking all the way into Leicester is there?”

I looked at Serena as I tried to fathom what she’d just done.

“Are you letting me go… just like that?” I said as she poured out some orange juice.

She stopped mid pour and thought for a moment.
“It is not the case of me letting you go. I decided a long time ago that I would not stop you if and when you decided to leave. My brother tried to warn me about your itchy feet but I laughed it off but it wasn’t long after we started on your rehab, that I caught you simply staring out of the window. It was clear that your mind wasn’t completely on what we were doing. That’s when I decided to not try to stop you. In recent days, your mind was once again was on being here with me but I didn't want to wake up one morning and find you gone without an explanation. Does some of what I have said make sense?"

“It does and… and I feel rotten for trying to leave without saying goodbye. I should have not been so cowardly.”

Serena smiled back at me.
“Apology accepted.”

I looked at Serena and felt rather sorry for her.
“You seem very languid about me leaving?”

"I don't have much choice, do I? I have… I have to be thankful that you have been here as long as you have and I do apologise for trying to force the responsibility that you clearly don't want onto you."

Serena laughed.
"My old Sociology Professor used to tell me off almost every week for trying to force people into positions or situations that they very much don't want. Will I ever learn?"

She smiled and said,
“Don’t answer that.”

“Where does your Uncle live?”

“South Devon. He was based for most of his career based at Plymouth but spent a year or so teaching at Dartmouth Naval College. That’s then he bought the house as somewhere to retire to. It wasn’t far from the coast and he talked about buying a boat and sailing off into the sunset.”

Then I remembered what it would be called.
“He was going to call the boat, ‘The Black Pig’. This was from a TV cartoon show that he used to watch as a child.

That remark went right over Serena’s head. For a moment, I felt such a fool for mentioning it.


“Here we are,” said Serena as she pulled up in the 20-minute waiting zone outside Leicester Station.

She'd been so good and kind to me since she'd discovered me trying to leave in the middle of the night. That made me feel rotten to the core. A rat leaving the sinking ship more, but I had to see Uncle Wally before I decided one way or the other about living as a woman full time, I hoped that Serena would eventually accept that I had to get this off my chest. I owed her so much but my mind wasn’t on working with her. More than once I wondered if I talked things over with Wally that I might change my mind but at the moment I just could not see any light no matter how dim and distant at the end of the tunnel.

“There is a train to Birmingham New St in fifteen minutes.”

“I know,” I replied.

“Having second thoughts?”

I nodded my head.

“There is always a bed here for you. You do know that don’t you?”

“Thanks, and yes I do know that. These past months have been great…”

“I sense a but coming?”

"Not really a but… but things might have been different if I had let myself become very involved with you. I didn't, and that is all water under the bridge."

Serena leaned over and gave me a brief kiss.

“I know that there are things inside your head that have prevented you from giving me your heart. Your head won that battle, and I'm adult enough to realise that you need to work those issues out first."

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Those words seem so final,” replied Serena with a sad voice.

“Not final, but goodbye for now.”

There was a silence between us. Neither of us could look at the other.

Then I said,
"How about I promise you that whatever I decide to do, I will come and tell you in person?"

“Thank you,” she replied in almost a whisper.

I got out of the car, almost wishing that I wasn't going, but the wanderlust in me kept tugging at my heart.

I squeezed her hand and left before I burst into tears.


Five and a bit hours later, I felt very relieved to walk out of the station at Totnes in Devon. For the first time since I’d left Serena, I was able to take my mask off. That was by far, the longest time I’d ever worn one continuously. I didn’t envy the Nurses and Doctors who had to wear them and worse day in, day out. Once again, I cursed the effing virus for turning the whole world upside down and inside out.

My relief was short-lived as I had to put it on again for the bus journey to the village where Wally lived. I was lucky in that due to the pandemic, the number of buses had been cut from four a day down to just two. The last one of the day was due to leave in less than half an hour.

I felt happy as I walked down the lane towards Wally's home. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing. My joy was short-lived when I saw a sign saying 'Sold' tacked onto a tree at the entrance to the driveway. I tried hard to get my head around the fact that Wally had sold the house that he always said that he'd only leave when he was taken out in a wooden box.

I saw some movement outside the front of the house. After a moment's hesitation, I started to walk up the drive. A woman was strapping a child into a child seat of a BMW 5 series.

“Excuse me?” I said from a respectable distance away.

My voice startled her for a brief moment.

“Can I help you?” she asked when she had recovered her composure.

“Do you know what happened to the man who used to live here? He’s my uncle.”

"I think he died some time ago. We purchased the house at auction six or seven weeks ago. It had been already cleared of everything that the owner had when we viewed it before the auction."

“Oh.”

My mind was trying to grasp what she’d just told me.

“Do you know the solicitors who put it up for Auction?”

“I think it was the firm with an office on Station Approach in Totnes.”

“Thanks for your time. I’m sorry to bother you.”

The woman managed a smile.

“Do you have a car?”

I shook my head.

"The busses are a bit of a mess these days due to COVID. You won't get into Totnes tonight unless you walk."

“I thought that might be the case. Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you.”


I walked back to the small village. It was more of a hamlet than anything. I could call for a taxi, but the fare would take almost all the money I had left. The only thing left was to start walking.

I instantly regretted not getting something to eat before I caught the bus. Serena’s breakfast was a long time ago. I mentally berated myself for going soft while I was with Serena. There were many days ‘before’ when I didn’t eat for a couple of days.

The road back to Totnes was pretty narrow. The high hedgerows on each side made it even more closed in. That meant that I had to keep my eyes peeled for vehicles coming along on the wrong side of the road.

I’d only gone about half a mile when a tractor appeared coming the other way. It was towing a huge piece of machinery. Instinctively, I knew that there was nowhere to go but into the ditch.

The tractor driver showed no signs of slowing down for me. I wondered if he’d seen me?

That question was answered almost immediately when he sounded his horn. He’d seen me alright. He wasn’t going to stop and I had to act.

On the left-hand side of the road was a 3m high hawthorn hedge. That was pretty well impenetrable. That left the ditch to my right. I had to move quickly, otherwise the tractor with its monster tyres would be on top of me.

I dived out of the way of the oncoming tractor and immediately regretted it. The ditch was full of stinging nettles. I swear that I heard the driver of the Tractor laughing as he went past. I returned a string of swear words that gave me a few seconds of respite from the nettles. As it was a nice day, I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. That was a mistake. Both my arms and my head and neck were starting to sting. I regretted stuffing my jacket into my backpack. Too late to worry about that now.

Once the tractor had passed by, I stood up and cursed the mechanical monstrosity loudly. I gave the driver the finger, but the intensity of the stinging was increasing rapidly.

I heard another vehicle sound its horn from behind me. Still feeling angry, I turned around and glared at the driver. Immediately, I felt rather foolish because the vehicle was not another tractor, but was a car that was driven by a woman. She brought her car to a halt and climbed out.

“Are you injured?”

“Just my pride, but those nettles are getting their revenge on my body.”

"Get in. I have some anti-histamine cream at my home. It is about a mile up the road."

I didn’t hesitate. Where had this saviour come from? That could wait as I put on my mask and got into the car. I didn't even bother to put my backpack in the back. Instead, I just cradled it on my lap and to hell with it.


“Here we are,” said the woman as she turned off a narrow lane into her home. I was impressed by the neatness of everything.

I got out of her car and followed her into the cottage. Inside was delightfully cool compared to the outside heat.

"I'll be back in a moment with some lotion then we can take a look at those stings."

I wasn't in much of a position to argue with her. A few stings from nettles is one thing, but to have both arms itching like hell is another kettle of fish entirely. So far, I had resisted the urge to scratch my arms, neck and hands.

The woman returned less than a minute later with a bottle of calamine lotion and some anti-histamine cream.

“Let me put the lotion on your hands, arms and neck and the cream on your face but don’t go touching your face for a few hours.”

I didn’t argue. I wasn’t in much of a position to complain.

“Thanks.”

"I saw what that driver did. He must be a contractor from outside these parts. The local farmers are generally rather more polite. AFAIK, those contractors only get paid by the hectare that they cut. They’d work all day and night given half a chance.”

"I wondered about that, but he didn't stop. If I ever come across him again, I'll give him a good seeing too."

“Good for you,” said the woman smiling.

"There. That should start to take effect pretty soon," she said as she spread the white lotion over my arms.

“Thanks again. I’m starting to feel better already.”

“Tea?” asked the woman.

"Thanks. Just a dash of milk, please."

“Great. I’ll put the kettle on.”

"I am very thankful that you came along when you did."

“I got stuck behind that maniac just after I left Totnes. Is that where you were heading?”

“Yeah. I…”

"I don't want to pry so I won't ask you any more questions. We can have some tea, and if you are fit to travel, I'll take you back to Totnes if you would like a lift that is?"

"Thanks, that would be great."

Then I realised that I hadn't thought things through very well. It was getting late, and it would be highly unlikely that I'd get back to Leicester tonight and… I didn't have a place to stay that night. Then there was the little question of money. Funds were a little tight.

“Penny for them?” asked the woman who had just poured the tea.

“Sorry… I was miles away.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?”

Instinctively, I reacted with a shake of my head.

“Then stay the night here. I could do with some company.”

“Aren’t you afraid that I have the virus?”

She smiled.

“I had a mild case of it two months ago. The docs seem to think that I have at least some short-term immunity due to the medication, that I have to take, but I don't think they don't have a clue if you ask me. It seems to me, that the medical people are just treading water until a vaccine becomes available.”

I didn’t wait for an invitation. I removed my mask. She did the same.

“I’m Maxine, Maxine Forsythe. Welcome to my home. Sorry for the mess. I wasn’t expecting visitors,” she said smiling.

“I’m Craig. Craig Scott.”

She was about to say something but didn’t.

“Are you going to be hungry in a couple of hours?”

"Yes. I haven't eaten anything other than a chocolate bar since very early this morning."

"Good. I have a Chicken that needs sorting out. My neighbour delivered it this morning before I went into Exeter."

“What do you mean sorting out?”

“Plucking and taking the giblets out. Can you do that?”

“I can, but it has been a while since I did that."

Maxine just smiled back at me. I was beginning to warm to this woman. I sensed that there was a cold side to her, but she was at least being nice to me. I got the distinct impression that if you crossed her you would not come out of it very well.


“This was a really tasty chicken,” I said as I cleared my plate.

"All free-range and organic. My neighbour raises Chickens, Ducks and Geese. The salad comes from him as well. I’m just getting my garden organised. Next year, I hope to be almost self-sufficient in veggies.”

“It must be really nice to have friends like that.”

"That sounds very downbeat?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be like that. You have been very, very hospitable to me."

"I guess we are all suffering a bit mentally from the lockdown. Being alone does things to people if they are not used to it.”

“That’s very true.”

“I’ve made up the bed in the spare room for you. It is up the stairs on the left.”

“Are you wanting me to head off to bed?”

Maxine laughed.
“Your whole-body language has changed this last half hour. Your shoulders have sagged. My guess, is that you are pretty bushed?”

She’d nailed it perfectly.

“Thanks for everything. I’ll see you in the morning.”

As I lay in bed, I wondered about this mysterious woman named Maxine. It was clear that she had some money, but there was no sign of a man about the house yet, she wore both an engagement and wedding rings. My pondering didn't last very long as I soon fell asleep.


“Good morning Craig,” said Maxine as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Morning Maxine. That Coffee smells good.”

“Can you pour me a cup as well? These eggs are just about done.”

Maxine dished up two perfectly poached eggs on toast.

“This looks fantastic,” I said smiling.

“Thanks.”

“I did a bit of searching last night. Your name rang a bell.”

“I’d better leave. Thanks for everything,” I said as I stood up leaving my eggs untouched.

“Craig, Please, stay for at least a few minutes. At least eat your breakfast before doing a runner, but I have something to say.”

I sat down. Maxine waited for me to start eating. I sighed internally, and opened the 'brown sauce' and put some on the eggs.

“I read the reports of the trial of your former wife. You didn’t deserve the slagging off that her Barrister alleged about you in court. For the judge to threaten to declare a mistrial because of them shows how serious it was. Things must have been very difficult for you since she kicked you out."

“Why? Why are you interested in a loser like me?”

Maxine laughed.

“Back in 2010, I was branded a loser by my family. I couldn't hold down a job and was frequently unemployed. Then the dice fell my way for a change, and I met two people who changed my life."

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“Before I met those two people and trusted them, my name was Tom. Your body language has been telling me that you have a similar problem to me in that inside you, there is a very different person inside just chomping at the bit to get out. With the right help, a new butterfly can emerge and prosper.”

Those words hit me right in the heart. I tried hard but failed to stop the tears.

Maxine came and sat next to me. She gave me a handkerchief and gave me a big hug.

I cried my heart out but she sat right there with me. I felt her cradle me as you would do with a small child. I didn't complain. It felt nice.

[To be continued]
[Authors Note]
This is indeed ‘Maxine’ from ‘The Forsythe Saga’.
[1] PPE = Politics, Philosophy and Economics.
[2] Bullingdon Club = Most members went to Eton Public School. Former Prime Minister David Cameron and the current one, Boris Johnson and a few other MP’s were members at one time or another. Upper-class twats IMHO.

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Comments

Nice…

Robertlouis's picture

…to have this tale back.

I’ve missed it. Thank you, Sam. Sorry that things didn’t resolve themselves with Serena, but Craig still has further to travel, in several senses, on his personal journey. There’s something of a Pilgrim’s Progress to this one - certainly a few Sloughs of Despond!

I wonder if his journey will wend its way eventually back to Serena. Plenty to ponder.

☠️

Timelines...

You know those pesky things that are designed to trip up the unwary...
That's why I posted part 31 of 'The Forsythe Saga' last week to make things fit in with Maxine meeting Craig after the encounter with the tractor.
There is one more part to this tale to go which will be posted next week.
Samantha

TBH

I didn't even recognize Maxine n the last post of the Forsythe Saga. I did a considerable amount of backtracking trying to relate that chapter to the earlier chapters as I thought I'd missed something. Perhaps she'll redeem herself in this story.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Timelines and Forsythe Saga

Robertlouis's picture

Ah, now I see the connection! I’m ashamed to say that I’ve lost touch with The Forsythe Saga, so I’m going to start again, because I remember enjoying the early episodes. I’m also pleased that (hopefully) Craig is going to achieve fulfilment at last. It’s been quite a trip.

Thanks Sam.

☠️

Just Maybe

joannebarbarella's picture

Craig is going to get lucky (not in any sexual way but meeting someone who can sympathise with how he feels)....and hopefully he won't blow it this time. Possibly his time with Serena has knocked off a few of his rough edges.

Oh what tangled web you weave!

Yet again characters from your different stories intertwining, very clever!
Thoroughly enjoying this tale, looking forward to the finale next week!
Stay safe
T

Almost done

The tale that is.
Thanks for all the comments and I hope that the conclusion is a satisfactory ending to all who have stuck with this tale.

Samantha

Sometimes easier said than done

Jamie Lee's picture

Serena may never have gone through an experience like Craig's, where he was hounded after being kicked out. He discovered he couldn't trust anyone, for fear his not real wife had sent them to harass him. What trust Craig had was destroyed by they woman acting as his wife.

Serena doesn't understand that trust can't be regained just over night, or if ever, by one well meaning person such as herself. Or that by having Craig work for her, take away a way of life that felt safer for Craig.

Craig's demons run deep, haunt his waking hours, and it will be up to Craig to determine when it's time to settle down and give trust a go again.

Others have feelings too.