The Mumaddy

“’Dad, hold still can’t you?”

“I’m trying. Can’t you see that.”

“If you don’t then I could stick this mascara wand right into your eye.”

“I know. Just get on with it ok? I don’t want to be late.”

“Nag, nag, nag. You are just like Mum was.”

I looked at my daughter sternly.

“Sorry Dad. I forgot.”

I smiled back at her.

“It’s all right. I forget sometimes as well.”

“That’s it. You are all set Amanda.”

“Thanks Lindsey. You are the best daughter I could ever wish for.”

Lindsey grinned back at me.

“Go and enjoy yourself, just be quiet when you get back ok?”

“Hey, who’s the parent around here?” I argued.

We both laughed and hugged each other.

Lindsey’s parting words were,
“Don’t forget the rings.”

[Three years earlier]

“What do you call this?” said my wife Carmen angrily.


“This! What do you think I’m holding in my hand?”

“A pair of shoes,” I replied.

“Good. And whose shoes are they? They most certainly not mine and that’s a fact.”

I took a deep breath.

“They are mine. Ok? Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?”

“So? What excuse are you going to give me for having a pair of women’s shoes in your wardrobe?”

I sat looking at my wife. She was very different to her normal happy go lucky self.

“Well, say something? Why?”

“It is me, just something I have to do from time to time.”

“Do what? Parade yourself to the world looking like a tart or worse, a prostitute?”

“No. Just wear a skirt, stockings and high heels for a few hours in private.”

“Private? There is no such thing as private. This is my house.”

“No Carmen. This is OUR house. Being realistic, it is more mine that yours. After all, I paid the deposit and I pay the mortgage every month but that isn’t the point. What I do is part of me. It always has been.”

“Any you never thought to tell me about it?”

“No. I knew you’d never understand. I saw how you reacted to your brother coming out and telling the world that he’s gay. You haven’t spoken to him since.”

“He is a pervert just like you.”

“Why are you reacting like this?”

“How do you expect me to react when I find this…. This stuff of yours?”

“I don’t know but….”

“No buts. Get out and don’t come back.”

“Me? I’m not going anywhere. If I go, I will stop paying the mortgage and put the house up for sale.”

“I’ll get my lawyer to stop you.”

“What! You have a lawyer?”

Carmen was strangely silent for several seconds.

“What if I have? It is just as well that I do given what I’ve found out today.”

“When did you get a lawyer?”

Before she could answer I added,

“And when did you engage the services of a lawyer? Who’s paying for them after all, you don’t have a job any more do you?”

Carmen didn’t answer.

“I thought so. I’m not paying for one any more. I’m going to withdraw everything from our account and only pay in enough to pay the bills and an allowance for you.”

“You can’t do that!” she exclaimed.

“Yes I can. After all you have tried to get me to leave. I suggest that you should leave and go and stay with your lover?”

“What… How…”

“Got you. I was guessing. That hesitation has told me everything. So that is why you have a lawyer. Who is it then? Larry Prescott perhaps?”

“Larry? No not him.”

“I really don’t care as long as you leave Lindsey here with me.”

“She belongs with her mother.”

“Yeah, why don’t you ask her?”

A startled look appeared on Carmen’s face.

“What? She knows about your perversion?”

“Yes she does. She came into our bedroom one day when I was dressed.”

“Didn’t she mind… What am I saying? What excuse did you give her?”

“None. I told her that I liked to wear women’s clothes and it was to be our secret from you as you would never understand. She agreed.”

“You are a real pervert. Only perverts tell children things like ‘this is our secret’. You should be put away somewhere cold and dark for a very long time.”

“Go and ask her what she wants to do? I dare you?”

“You! You dare me? Just wait until I tell this to my lawyer.”

“I give up. Go tell your lawyer. Lindsey is old enough for any divorce court to take her views into consideration. I have every confidence that she will vote to stay with me. After all, I’ve been more of a parent to her than you have ever been.”

“What! That is it. I’ve had enough of this.”

She turned to go.

I grabbed her arm.

“Let go of me!”

“Why? Don’t you like the truth? What with being President of the Bridge Club, the Ladies section at the Golf Club, the two charities that take up how many hours a week and not forgetting the weekly sessions at the beauty salon. That leaves exactly how much time to be a parent to our daughter?”

There was no reply.

Feeling good, I carried on.

“When was the last time you ferried her to her dance class, riding lessons or anything else? Who goes with her shopping? It sure isn’t you. Need I say more?”

Once again, there was no reply.

“I think you did it once last year when I was ill in bed with the flu. So tell me once more who has been a real parent to Lindsey, me or you?”

I let her go and after a horrid glare at me she left me alone.

It didn’t take long for the rush of adrenaline to dissipate. Then the enormity of what I’d just done started to sink in. Fortunately, I didn’t have long to wait as one of the alarms on my phone beeped at me. It was time for me to go and pick up Lindsey from her dance lesson.

“How was the lesson?” I asked trying to read her face as Lindsey got in the car.

“I’m never going back there again!” she replied almost shouting back at me.


“Denise Lawson said that mummy is sleeping with her father. I told her that it was a lie.”

I leaned over and hugger her. Thankfully Lindsey hadn’t yet reached the age where even being seen with a parent was regarded as being so uncool that they’d be excommunicated from her friends in an instant.


I let her go and she saw my face and the tears welling up in my eyes.


“I’m so sorry darling. It is true,” I said quietly desperately trying to find my handkerchief.

“Why? I’ll be the laughing stock of the school. No one will speak to me ever again.”

“I didn’t know until today. Your mother found my shoes and we had a big argument.”

“Are you going to leave her?”

“No my darling. I’m not going anywhere. She can go and live with Derek Lawson if she wants to.”

“What about me? I hate Denise Lawson. She bullies people over the internet.”

“If you want to stay with me than you can. You don’t have to go with her if you don’t want to. As for bullying over the internet then let it happen. She will get what she deserves when I put the law onto her.”

Needless to say the divorce was messy. Well it was until it turned out that my darling wife had been making a lot of money on the side by being a high-class prostitute. Once or twice a month she would go away ostensibly on charity business but actually to entertain a few select clients in return for an awful lot of money.

She’d also been taking a good sum from me in way of an allowance but when I got details of her numerous bank accounts thanks to the P.I. I hired she suddenly caved in on her demands and granted me custody of Lindsey.

Lindsey was pleased that she wouldn’t have to move away from her friends because Carmen upped sticks and moved to London to be with one of her ‘men friends’.

I put one final knife into her when all the details of her little side-line was sent to the Revenue and Customs.

The day after the divorce was finalised, she asked me,

“Is Mum really a prostitute?”

To say that her question was a bit of a shock would be the understatement of the year.

“What do you mean Lindsey?”

“I overheard you and Mum the other day when she came to collect the last of her clothes.”

My heart nearly stopped. I’d tried to keep my voice down but Carmen has one of those voices that would go through walls without trying.

“Well my darling….”

“Don’t try to fob me off Dad. I know she used to have sex with men in return for money.”

I looked at my daughter. She was really growing up fast. A divorce in the family does not help but suddenly she seemed a lot older than she appeared.

“Yes my suddenly grown up daughter, she is. I found out and that is why you are living with me instead of her.”

Lindsey didn’t reply immediately.

“Are you going to carry on dressing in women’s clothes?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Then you can be my mummy and daddy as the same time!”

I was so pleased that I hugged her. I held on for far too long.

“Daddy! Enough of the hugging!”

I broke off and we both sat down laughing.

“You were always more of a Mother to me than Mum was.”

“I love the comment but that does not hide the fact that she’s not going to be here any longer.”

“Yes I know that. Then you will have to find someone else won’t you?”

I could not believe that this was my teenage (just) daughter speaking.

I laughed.

“Well Lindsey, I think that I had better wait a while on that front. Besides what beautiful fantastic intelligent woman is going to want to get serious with a newly divorced man who likes to dress up as a woman and has a thirteen year old daughter?”

Lindsay laughed back at me.

“Ok dad but I’m not going to give up you know?”

“I know. That’s two good things that you have inherited from your mother. Beauty and determination.”

Life carried on for the next year. I became the newest single parent on our road. Sadly, I was the only ‘male’ so all the un attached women were keen to get to know me a lot better. The problem was that I didn’t fancy any of them so I became very adept at deflecting their advances.

Lindsay didn’t give up her quest to get me dating again but my heart was just not in it. For a time, I even eschewed dressing in anything but male clothes.

Life carried on with me working as a ‘Day Trader’. I’d managed to soldier on through the dark days of the banking crisis by doing some ‘shorting’ of stocks. Now that the markets were rising again, I more than made up for the losses of past years, so much so that I paid off the Mortgage on the house within two years of my Divorce.

Lindsey was growing up fast and had minimal contact with her mother who seemed more and more distant and less interested in her daughter. This actually suited Lindsay very well. She complained bitterly every time her mother deigned to demand her presence in London. I smoothed things over by letting Lindsay loose on the shops in London with generous clothing allowance.

The third anniversary of my divorce came with Carmen demanding to have Lindsey stay with her ‘for a mother and daughter’ bonding session. I gritted my teeth and let her go to London. I went the other way and carried on my quest to walk the whole of the South West Coastal Path before my 40th birthday. On the anniversary itself, I was enjoying the delights of some excellent Sea Food in Padstow when my phone rang.

“Hello Darling. Having a good time with your Mother?”

“What? She has done what?”

“No calm down. Just get your things and leave the bitch and come down to Cornwall. The weather is great and you could do with a change of scenery.”

“Yes. Come by train. You do have some money left don’t you?”

“Let me check the train times and I’ll call you back.”

I hung up the phone and looked at my plate of food. Suddenly it didn’t seem so exciting any longer.

After a quick perusal of the train times I called Lindsey back and gave her the bad news that she’d have to spend four hours on the train to Bodmin Parkway. At least she was getting away from her mother.

Lindsay had told me that one of her Mother’s clients had come into Lindsey’s bedroom stark naked and tried to get into bed with her. Carmen dismissed it as just a misunderstanding but that was it, my daughter was not going to visit her mother any more. She’d be sixteen soon and could make up her own mind from then on.

With her on her way, I paid the bill at the restaurant and took the ferry over to Rock and walked the short distance to Polzeath where I was staying that night and importantly my car was parked. I booked a room for Lindsey and headed for Bodmin station to wait for the arrival of my daughter.

Sheep on the road combined with Road Works meant that I arrived at the station just as the train from London was pulling out.

I hurried onto the platform. Thankfully, I saw my Daughter.


Lindsey came bounding along the platform dragging a large suitcase with her.

She let go of the case and almost leapt into my arms.

“It was horrible. That man! Ugh.”

I held her tight and said softly,

“Don’t worry my darling. You never have to see her again. No more.”

As we stood there holding each other I watched the train disappear into the distance and wondered how many more times I would have to comfort my daughter as she grew up and experienced the big bad world. I sincerely hoped that it was not very many.

I was just finishing getting dressed when I heard a soft knock at my door.

“Just a moment,” I called out.

“It’s only me,” replied Lindsey.

I managed to put a smile on my face as I opened the door to see my daughter standing there holding some clothes in her arms.

“I bought this for you. Perhaps you could wear it?”

I took the garment and hung it up so that I could see it.

I was holding a very nice LBD, ‘L’ as in Long Black Dress. It was beautiful.

“Mum and I were out shopping for a LBD. Mum wanted to present me to some of her friends at a Cocktail Party. I bought myself a dress but I saw this one and thought of you so I went back to the shop on the way to the station today?”

“Thank you. It is beautiful. How about tomorrow we go home then in the evening we have a girls night in? Now that you are growing up, there won’t be many more before you are far too busy with boys to worry about your old dad.”

“Dad! It’s not like that.”

“It will be in time. All part of growing up.”

“No. That’s the problem. As I left Mum, I told her that I don’t fancy men. I’m a lesbian. I have a girlfriend.”

I sat down on the bed and tried to comprehend what had just happened.

“You… are gay? Wow! I … I don’t know what to say. How long have you known?”

“Ever since I caught Mum in your bed with a client. I realised that I couldn’t do that with a man. Later I thought I would grow out of it but those feelings got worse. Then this new girl, Eve came to my school. I looked at her and realised I fancied her. It turns out she felt the same about me.”

“But… you are too young?”

Lindsey smiled.

“Yes. We both know that it probably won’t last but we are happy with each other at the moment. At least there is a bright side to it.”

My mind was still trying to comprehend what my now pretty grown up daughter had just told me.


“I won’t be getting pregnant with my girlfriend now will I?”

I managed to laugh. She was one smart cookie. I was proud of her.

Then I held out my arms and we hugged each other.

“Thank you for telling me. I know it must be very hard for you?”

“Nah. You were the easy one. It was mum I was dreading telling. In the end, when she tried to ‘get me to lose my virginity’ to some grossly overweight client I just blurted it out and ran from her.”

“You poor thing. Do you want me to call the police and inform on her? After all what he was trying to do was tantamount to rape. You aren’t sixteen yet.”

“Can we forget all about it? I want nothing more to do with her. Ever!”

“I think we can do that.”

Our girly evening was a great success. Lindsey told me all about Eve as well as her feelings about her sexuality. Towards the end of the evening I asked,

“When am I going to meet Eve?”

“Is this my father speaking?”

We both laughed.

“Not really. I’m just interested in the person who has let you be free. These past few months you have changed beyond all recognition. I thought it was just you growing up. Now I realise it was a lot more than that. I’d like to thank her. That’s all.”

Lindsey hugged me.

“You are the best Dad ever.”

“Not looking at me now I’m not. I’m your mother at the moment.”

“Yes mom.”

We laughed again.

“I love you my wonderful grown up daughter.”

“I love you mumaddy.”


Then I caught on and laughed.

Eve came to visit a week later. She was accompanied by her mother Yvonne.

“I’m pleased to meet you Yvonne,” I said as they came into our home.

“Please come in and take a seat. Lindsey will be serving Dinner shortly.”

“Lindsey? Did she cook Dinner for us?” asked Eve as she handed me her coat.

Yvonne and I sat down. Eve had headed for the kitchen as soon as they arrived.
“Not exactly but she is close. I’ve been teaching her this past year.”


“I am sure that Lindsey will be only too happy to tell you that I’ve done the cooking for most of her life.”

“Surely her mother did it?”

“Only at the beginning. Then she was always too busy with one thing or another so yours truly was elected. Actually I rather like it. It makes a break from watching the markets.”

“The markets?”

“I buy and sell stocks on a couple of Stock Exchanges around the world. I’m what some people call a ‘day trader’ in that I don’t work for one of the large brokerages. I did once but gave that up not long after Lindsey was born. I’ve always been here for my daughter.”

“You sound like a very good father.”

Then Yvonne looked at her feet for several seconds before asking,

“What did you feel when Lindsey told you she was gay?”

“If you mean was I hurt? No not really. Initially I was a little disappointed but then I felt proud that she’d had the courage and maturity to tell me about it rather than keeping it to herself like so many people do with things like that. We try not to keep things from each other in this house. We both know from experience what can happen when you do that.”

Yvonne looked at me for quite a long time.

Before she could say anything, the kids arrived with dinner.

Once our visitors had gone Lindsey said,

“You seemed to get on with Eve. Why don’t you ask her Mother out?”

I smiled back at her.

“Don’t be presumptuous child. Your happiness and future is far more important than mine,” I replied trying not to laugh.

“I’m not going to give up you know.”

“That I don’t doubt but please don’t count on us getting together. There is a little matter of Amanda to consider. Now that you are growing up and becoming independent I was going to let her loose a little more often if you don’t mind?”

“Dad! I want you to be happy.”

“Where has my truculent teenage daughter gone? Where has the grumpiness and vocabulary limited to ‘whatever and no’ gone?”

She laughed.

“I grew up thanks to you.”

“Good. I would like us to be more like friends rather than parent and child. Can we be like that?”

Lindsay didn’t answer but hugged me instead.

“If I can still hug you from time to time then yes.”

I squeezed her back. A small tear formed in my eyes. My baby was growing up fast.

I threw a party for Lindsey for her Sixteenth Birthday. Eve and Yvonne were the main guests. It was very successful, or so I thought. We’d just finished exchanging presents when I heard a knock at the door. I wondered who it could be. Everyone I’d invited had already arrived.

I opened the door and gasped with horror. Standing there in all her war-paint was Carmen, Lindsey’s Mother.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in? After all it is MY daughter’s birthday after all?”

“Carmen. How not nice to see you after all this time. Please don’t come in. You are not welcome here.”

“Rubbish. You can’t keep me away from my daughter. I demand to see her.”

“I think I’ll let her speak for herself?”

I called out,

“Lindsey, your mother is here. Please come to the front door.”

A few seconds later, Lindsey arrived holding hands with Eve.

“Lindsey darling. Your Mother wants to wish you happy birthday. Can I come in? I have a present for you?”

“Mum. I don’t want you here.”

Then she looked at me and added,

“We don’t want you here. We have managed perfectly well on our own since you left us.”

“But darling? I’m here now. Can’t we forget the past?”

Then I noticed a suitcase just to one side of the door.

“Are you thinking you could stay here? Have your sugar daddy’s grown tired of you?”

Carmen didn’t answer.

“I’ve grown up Mummy. I’m in love with Eve here. We don’t need you any more. Please leave us alone and go back to wherever you came from.”

“I want to be with my Daughter!” shrieked Carmen.

The noise brought Eve’s mother, Yvonne into the hallway.

“Who’s this?” cried Carmen.

“This is Yvonne. She will be sharing my bed tonight!” I replied with more than a little desperation.

Carmen tried to say something. The words didn’t come right away. When they did they were right to the point.

“Did you know that this pervert here likes to dress as a woman?”

Yvonne just smiled back at Carmen.


Carmen looked shocked as the directness of the reply.

“Go. Please go and crawl back under whatever stove you’ve been hiding under for the past three years,” I retorted.
“You are not welcome here so get lost.”

Carmen went red in the face.

“You haven’t heard the last of this. I will be back!”

Then she picked up her suitcase and left.

Once I was sure that she’d gone, I closed the door.

“Sorry about that. She shouldn’t have come back,” I said to Yvonne and Eve.

Lindsey literally dragged Eve back into the party leaving just Yvonne and myself in the hallway.

“I’m sorry about saying that. I couldn’t think of anything shocking enough to get rid of her.”

Yvonne smiled.

“I actually took it as a compliment.”

I looked at her with a puzzled look.

“Our scheming daughters have been trying to get us together for weeks now.”

“Eh? How do you know?”

She tapped the side of her nose.

“Ok, I understand.”

Then I added,
“I think we should re-join the party don’t you?”

A couple of hours later the party had wound down and all the guests had left apart from Yvonne and Eve.

I was in the kitchen doing the washing up when Yvonne came to help.

“Can I dry?”

“No. You are a guest tonight. I won’t take long.”

She smiled.

“I want to help.”

Then after a slight pause she added,

“About earlier….”

“Forget her. She left us and went to live with god knows who? We got divorced. End of story.”

“Really? Do you think that Carmen might actually come back?”

“Let her. Then I’ll have her thrown in jail. She knows that due to her… prostitution she can’t come within 100ft of Lindsey until Lindsey turns eighteen.”

“She looked desperate, who knows what she’ll do next.”

“Thanks for your concern. I think we have seen the last of her.”

“What about what she said about you? Can’t she make trouble for you over that?”

“What? About me sometimes dressing as a woman?”


“It’s not illegal besides, once we got divorced, I did a deal with Lindsay. I wouldn’t do anything to embarrass her while she lived with me. As a result, my other half is well and truly packed away for the duration.”

Yvonne looked rather sad.

“I was kind of hoping you would have … dressed up for me?”

I put down the tea towel and looked at her.

“Are you coming on to me?”

She blushed.

“I suppose so. Is there anything wrong with that? You have accepted Eve into your family as Lindsay’s lover. Why not get the complete package?”

I laughed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Honestly not a thing. I was thinking that there is no beating about the bush with you. Straight and direct.”

“So what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing in itself. But I made a promise and I intend to keep it”

“No you don’t dad,” said Lindsey who’d appeared in the door.

“Sorry my darling, with the appearance of your mother tonight I can’t take the risk. The phrase, ‘A Woman Scorned’ is not without some basis of truth. We have no idea who she knows in high places. I wouldn’t put it beyond her to try to get custody of you just to spite me.”

She grinned.

“Then let Eve and me get married?”

That was something I wasn’t expecting.

“Where did that come from?”

“Eve asked me to marry her tonight.”

I turned to Yvonne and said,

“Did you know about this?”

She shook her head.

“No I didn’t. Now that I think about it, the more it makes sense. They are devoted to each other, that is obvious for all to see.”

“Aren’t they a bit young for this?”

“They are in love. Who are we to put a stop to it?”

I couldn’t argue with that logic.

“Please Dad. Let us do this!”

Eve had joined us and was standing behind Lindsay with her arms wrapped around Lindsay’s waist. They looked very much the couple.

I needed a way out, time to think.

“It is getting late. Why don’t we all sleep on this and talk again tomorrow. Ok?”

There was no argument from the others.

The next day, turned out to be almost a week. Eve came down with a heavy cold so we waited until she was better before we discussed it again. I was grateful for the chance to try to get things straight in my head.

I was sure that Carmen wouldn’t give up so easily. Something had brought her away from London and back here. From the look of her, she was not doing too well. The thought even crossed my eyes that she might have even been high on something. Her eyes seemed rather odd. I had nothing else to be going on.

Part of the deal I’d struck with Lindsey was that I wouldn’t do anything that would embarrass her or her friends such as getting drunk or even worse, becoming my alter ego. Lindsey and I had even made a game out of ceremoniously packing all of Amanda away into boxes which we later put into storage. Since then I’d hardly even had a drink. There was far too much at stake for me to risk anything.

After a month my ex-wife had not been seen nor heard and I began to relax. I even started to think that the idea of Lindsey and Eve getting married was a good one. They were living part of the time with me and part at Eve’s. Even so, marriage was a big step and they were so young and unprepared for the big bad world.

I did a deal with Yvonne so that we would try to teach them the things that they’d need when they setup on their own. The girls proved willing learners. Part of the deal was that Yvonne and I would not date or do anything that could be used in any further battles with Eve’s Mother.

The months turned into a year. The girls were acting more and more like responsible adults so it was getting harder to say no to their requests to get married.

On Lindsey’s Seventeenth birthday, we held a small private ‘family’ celebration at a fishing village in Cornwall. I didn’t tell anyone where we were going until we were on our way. The last thing any of us wanted was an unwelcome visit from you know who.

The event was a great success. Eve and Lindsay were closer than ever. Seeing them so happy together, made my mind up for me. We had a wedding to plan.

There was always this nagging feeling that my ex was not too far away but we hadn’t seen hide not hair of her for over a year.

The day came when we all went to the Registry Office to arrange for a wedding day. Yvonne and I were legal guardians of our children so we could give our approval for the wedding to take place. This is needed when the people getting married are under eighteen.

With a date in the bag, we all went to the nearest pub for lunch. The bottom fell out of my stomach when I saw the Manager. It was my ex-wife.

It was too late for us to back out. Lindsey saw my hesitation then she saw the reason why. She went as white as a sheet.

“Well look who we have here?” said my ex with a snide tone in her voice.

“Hello Carmen, this is an unexpected surprise.”

“How’s my darling daughter?”

“Hello Mother.”

“Still with her then?”


I interrupted.

“We will be going somewhere else thank you.”

“Why? Don’t you have something to celebrate?”

By now, I’d recovered my thoughts.

“Carmen, we are living our life quite happily without you in our lives. We will find another place for Lunch.”

I turned to the others.

“Come on we will go somewhere else,” I said to them.

“Why Dad? Why don’t we eat here? After all we don’t have anything to hide,” replied Lindsay.

I looked at the others and saw no support for going somewhere else.

“Very well. We’d like a table for four please.”

Carmen almost choked when I asked her for the table.

“Y…yes please come this way.”

She grabbed four menus and guided us to an empty table.

“Someone will be back shortly to take your order.”

Then she was gone.

We all sat down and looked at each other. No one said anything for several seconds.

I had an idea.

I took out my phone and sent a text to my daughter.
“Whenever your mother is near start recording everything she says. You can tell her about the wedding.”

A few seconds later, her phone beeped. She looked at it and smiled at me. Then she gave a discrete nod of her head.

Carmen herself came to deliver us our meals.

“I hope you enjoy the food,” she said slightly sarcastically.

“I’m sure we will,”
Then I looked at our daughter.

“Mum, we have an announcement to make.”

“Eve and I are getting married in just over a month’s time. If you can promise me that you won’t make a scene then you can come along.”

Carmen went red in the face as she got angrier and angrier.

“You can’t. You are my baby.”

“I’m not a baby any more. I’m a lesbian and that is largely down to you. Does the owner know that you are a Prostitute? Or have you given that up at long last?”


“Mother, you were never there for me when I needed you. If you can’t accept me for what I am, then I don’t want you in our life.”

At that point, she took hold of Eve’s hand and then gave her a little kiss.

Carmen glared at all of us.

Then she turned her attention to me.

“And you approved of this madness?”

“I do. I do indeed. I’m very happy for them.”

“What about your sordid habit? Still trying to be a woman?”

“Carmen, I see that you are wearing trousers and men’s shoes? I take it you are trying to be a man?”

That was the last straw for her. She tipped the last plate of food that she was carrying all over me.

“That was unnecessary Mother,” said Lindsey.

“Come on everyone we are leaving and we won’t be paying the bill.”

When we’d returned home that evening, I made a meal for everyone. Yvonne helped me in the kitchen.

“I really don’t know how you do it? Here you are smiling again.”

I grinned at her.

“I’m just a proud Mumaddy.”

She laughed.

Then she gave me a kiss.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I’ve fallen in love with you. There is something about you and your daughter that has attracted me and mine.”


I groaned.

“No. At least not until after the wedding.”

“Not even underneath your suit?”

“Not even underneath my suit. I want everything as it should be for my daughter.”

Then I smiled.

“Now about who is going to pay for the wedding?”

[One month later]

If the bride is supposed to be nervous on her wedding day, the that was nothing compared to what I was feeling on the big day.

I must have seemed rather odd as I kept looking over my shoulder for ‘her’.

Then I had to concentrate of my job of giving away my daughter. For a few minutes, my worries about Carmen were pushed into the background until the words ‘If anyone… forever hold their tongue’ were spoken by the Registrar.

I could not help myself but I turned around to see if Carmen was in the room. I breathed a small sigh of relief as no one answered the question.

Then it was all over and Yvonne and I were following the newlyweds out of the room and into the hallway.

Just as we did so, Carmen came dashing through the front door.

As soon as she saw the happy couple she screamed.

When se saw me, she laid into me with both fists. It took two bystanders to pull her off of me.

She kept on struggling and shouting,

“You won’t get away with this. I’ll sue you. It’s not right.”

Then Lindsey stepped forward and with her hands on her hips she glared at her Mother.

“Mother, I do not want to see you ever again. From now on, you are not my mother. Daddy has been more of a Mother than you ever could be. Get out of our lives and stay out.”

Then after taking one step closer to her she slapped her mother hard on her left cheek.

“That’s for all the times you hit my Father and he never lifted a finger against you. He’s much too nice a man to hit a woman so I’m doing it for him.”

Then she left Carmen standing there stunned.

She took hold of Eve’s and my hands and we left the Registry Office with smiles on our faces.

Later that day, Yvonne and I said goodbye to our daughters at the airport as they left on their honeymoon.

As we walked back to my car, I said to Yvonne,
“I guess that it is time isn’t it?”

[back to the present day]

Yvonne was waiting for me in her car. Today was the day that I was going to ask her to marry me. In the months since our daughters wedding we’d become close.
Close enough for my alter ego, Amanda to be around quite a bit of the time. With three real women in my life Amanda had to be on top form

We headed down to the coast for a picnic on a hill overlooking a lovely small cove. The weather was perfect and I was wearing a new skirt that Eve had brought me for my birthday. She’d insisted that I wear it today even though it wasn’t my birthday for another week. The girls knew what I was planning on doing today so they’d made me take extra care with my makeup.

The picnic turned out fantastically well. Just before we decided to pack up, I reached into the pocket of the skirt and took out two rings.

“Yvonne, thanks for a lovely day.”

She grinned back at me from the other side of the blanket that we were lying on.

“It have been nice, just the two of us.”
“It has. I’d like to do this ‘just us’ a bit more often. Why not just us all the time?”

“What are you asking my darling?”

“Will you marry me?”

Yvonne leaned over and kissed me.

“You know I will Amanda.”

“Is that a yes then?”

“Dammed right it is.”

I took hold of her hand and slipped her ring onto it. Then I hander her mine. The love of my life then slipped the other ring onto my finger.

As she did so, I thought back to when I’d asked Carmen to marry me. She wouldn’t hold with me wearing a wedding ring. Now it was different. I was a different person and it felt just right.

We lay there for some time just holding hands and looking at the sky.

Then Yvonne said,

“You do know that I only said yes to Amanda.”

“I do know that.”

“Is this going to be a problem?”

I rolled over and grinned at her before saying,

“At this very moment, all my horrible male clothes are being bagged up and then taken to the charity shop.”

“You sly devil you.”

“No my darling, I’m now a she devil”

Then she proceeded to tickle me.

[The End]

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