What did you get up to this Weekend?
Samantha Michelle Davies (SamanthaMD)
A Monday morning in an office somewhere not all that far away....
There are three women in the office.
“Well, Tracy, how was the weekend?”
“Josey, it was a total wash out. Mike spent most of it sprawled in front of the TV. First there was the United Game. Then it was Arsenal and Chelsea. That put paid to Saturday. Then on Sunday, it was more of the same. The Grand Prix followed by Liverpool against Everton. All we have is to show for it, is a pile of empty lager cans and crisp packets all over the floor in the sitting room.”
The other two women laughed.
Tracy looked at the third person.
“Sarah, please don’t tell me Bob was any different?”
“Only slightly. Bob spent the whole of Saturday Afternoon in the bookies. There we were, having the usual Liver and Bacon for Saturday Lunch when he says, ‘fancy a trip into town?”
The other two giggled. They knew what was coming.
“So we went into town. No sooner had we started walking through the shopping centre and he was gone. Straight to the bookies like an arrow from a bow. I should have realised that it was the Grand National,” she said in a resigned voice.
They all laughed. This was a fairly an common occurrence.
Josey and Sarah looked at Tracy.
“What about yours?”
“Pete was as good as gold all weekend.”
“Pull the other one Trace. All men are useless slobs at the weekend. All that want to do is sit in front of the telly, drink beer until they are senseless and then climb on top of us in Bed and bonk us until they think we have orgasmed.”
Tracy didn’t laugh.
“Pete is not like that. He went shopping with me and help me choose an outfit for Vanessa’s wedding next month.”
Cue two shaking heads.
“I suppose it is black “ cue more giggles as Vanessa was regarded as a fallen woman,
“With a very short skirt and he wants you to wear those 6in heels that you wore last Halloween”
“Not quite. Well actually nothing like it really. It is a pale blue knee length dress with a matching jacket. We went to FHW and he helped me choose a nice pair of shoes to go with it. For your information, they only have 2 in heels.”
“Eh? He didn’t go down the Pub then?”
“Yes we did. After we’d bought my outfit, we went to the ‘Hope and; Anchor’ for Lunch. We both had the Steak and Kidney Pie”
“What happened then?” asked Josie.
“We went to get his outfit for the Wedding”
“Outfit?” exclaimed Sarah.
“How can you call a boring old suit an outfit?” She added.
“I know”, said Josey.
“Trace here wanted to make sure he didn’t wear brown shoes with a black suit”
The two women laughed at the weak attempt at a joke.
Tracy gave them her best smile.
“Oh I don’t know. I think it can be called an outfit when it consists of a tight black mini skirt, a white blouse and black patent shoes with 4in heels.”
There was silence in the office for a very long time.
I wrote this at lunchtime today. On the train journey into work this morning there were three nurses discussing their weekend. They didn’t hold back. That gave me an idea. The sports events didn’t take place this weeked but I wanted to use them for effect.
So, many thanks to the three women on the 06:56 FGW train To Reading. If you read this then all I can say is, ‘more please’. You had half the carriage enthralled with your tales.
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