County Sheriff -13- Getting hitched can be a right PITA

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Now that I had finally decided not to stand for re-election in November, I got to thinking about other things but primarily Kelly, getting married and then what?

The ‘then what’ part was easy. A big grand-canyon shaped abyss. I had no firm idea what I was going to do once I was no longer Sheriff. My fall back was to work with Danny SWA. He was always advertising for rescue drivers so there was a job for me if I wanted it but something inside of me was telling me that something else would come up when the time came.

Since Kelly had accepted my proposal of marriage neither of us had really brought up the matter. One reason was the change in local laws that made it harder for us to marry in the state. The Party in control at the State Capital were very much of the Bible Belt sort. They saw sinners everywhere and those who were transgender were top of their ‘send them to hell list’. There had been lots about which bathroom trans people should use. Kelly was fine unless they suddenly started DNA testing every time someone wanted to take a comfort break. Kelly’s birth certificate said ‘Female’ and that was more than good enough for me besides, in my eyes, she was more woman than almost any other woman I’d ever known.

Their latest diktat was that to get married required a blood test and that blood test would be subject to DNA testing. This was being challenged in the courts but could take years to resolve.

Naturally, Kelly would fail the DNA in a flash. I'd never really understood the need for someone getting married to have a blood test. Most other civilised nations got by perfectly well without needing them but my job as Sheriff was to uphold the law not make it and many of the laws coming out of both the state capital and DC were an ass.

The obvious solution would be to get married out of state but where was the next question. Knowing Kelly as I did, I knew that she would not want a big all-singing, all-dancing sort of thing which suited me perfectly. However, it would have been very different if she was back in New York and if her family had approved of her sex change. Then they would have pushed the boat out. I knew from accidentally getting mixed up in such a wedding in Boston that it was merely an excuse for a really big party that could go on for days as Irish-American Families didn’t scrimp when putting on one. They made sure that it would be talked about in Pubs and Clubs for years after.

So where? Where would be getting married? The more I thought about it, the more I was attracted to somewhere that I hated and that somewhere was 'Sin City' itself, Las Vegas. Getting married under Nevada law was pretty easy. There were none of those pesky residential qualifications as in someplace. Neither of us could afford to take off for a month just to live in a place where we could be married.

I was still toying with the idea when Kelly said,

“A problem shared is a problem halved.”

We were at home with the TV on. Ma had gone to bed but I couldn’t as I was on call until four the following Morning when Kelly would take over.

“Eh?” I said surprised.

She smiled at me.

“You were miles away and your face looked like you had all the problems in the world on your back. So, what is it eh? You have been a bit out of it for over a week now. Even Ma has noticed that you are somewhat preoccupied.”

Those last words hit me right in the solar plexus. If Ma had noticed then it was time to come clean. Ma would want an explanation soon but her way of getting us to talk was to remain virtually silent and give us ‘the look’. Walt and I had experienced it many times over the years.

There was nothing for it but to tell Kelly what I was thinking.

“I’ve been thinking about getting hitched. Now that this new law has come it, it will be next to impossible to do it here.”

"Oh, that! Those dummies in the State House live in their very own universe and not the real world except to pass the laws that affect us and not them."

I knew exactly what Kelly meant.

“Lets’ go to Vegas and do the dirty deed. Quick simple and then we can go to places like Death Valley on our honeymoon.”

“You don’t mind?”

Kelly snuggled up to me.

"I don't mind. If all it takes is a quick flight to Vegas and putting up with Sin City for a couple of days then I’m happy.”

“There is one problem with that and that is Ma. She won’t fly. We saw a plane crash once and that was it. Walt and I were about six and over near Colorado Springs. It was a military training jet but to Ma, they are all the same. She had the heebie-jeebies every time I flew when I was in the service so don’t even think of trying to talk to Ma about it.”

“Then we’ll have to drive,” replied Kelly.

“That’s 2 days each way. With at least one night in Vegas, that's almost a week. I don't think that we can be away for more than two weeks so that leaves us a week for our honeymoon."

“That does not give us much time does it?”

“Then there is the little matter of my Best Man. I promised Danny SWA that he'd be the best man whenever I got married. He can't fly due to an inner ear problem that resulted from him being too near an IED. I pulled him out of the wreck of the Humvee and saved his life. He'd done something similar to me on our previous tour. That's how we became 'Blood Brothers'. The flight to the Hospital in Germany just about killed him so he had to come back here by ship and Winter in the North Atlantic is no fun. He suffered nine days on a cargo ship but at least he survived to tell the tale.”

“I know. Danny told me.”

“What? About flying?”

“No. You saving each other’s lives in combat.”

“It was just something you did. You didn’t leave a fallen comrade to face certain death at the hands of the enemy. The Taliban and ISIS were alike in that they would often torture those that the captured so we left no one alive behind. Danny spent some time in the field hospital in Kandahar for a bit before being transferred to Germany. Just before he was evacuated to Germany, he asked me then to let him be my best man when I got hitched. I did the same to him but he just laughed in my face and said that we'd both be in wheelchairs when that happened. There was something about a curse being put on him by his tribe's Medicine Man when he had a big bust-up with them. That's when he joined up. The curse says that he'll be forever single. To a full-blood, as he is, that is a hard thing to swallow but don't ever tell him that I told you about it."

“I knew that you were close but I hadn’t realised how close you are.”

Then Kelly thought for a moment.

“What if Danny drove to Vegas with Ma as his passenger?"

The idea of Ma being in the same car as Danny for at least two days was chilling.

“Only one of them would make it. Ma and Danny just seem to rub each other up the wrong way after a few hours.”

“What about the Train from Denver?”

I shook my head.

“Vegas is not on the Amtrak network any more. The nearest stop is Kingman in Arizona and that train runs south of here. It takes all day and drops you off in Kingman close to midnight. That’s nowhere near ideal is it?”

“You have looked into this haven’t you?”

I nodded my head.

“Then one of us can go with Ma and the other one with Danny?”

This was one idea that I’d thought about a lot.

“Possible but that still leaves them to get back here together.”

Kelly gave me a squeeze.
“Talk it over with Danny tomorrow. Perhaps two great minds can come up with a solution? It is your day for doing paperwork, isn't it? You can easily see Danny if he’s not off on some job or other.”

I doubted that we could find a solution but I didn’t want to argue.


Things were quiet in the Office the next day. My team were out on regular duties so just before Lunch, I called Danny.

“Hey Danny, fancy some Lunch at Harry’s?”

“Yes, it is my shout.”

“And yes, I do need to talk to you.”

“Half an hour is fine. See you then.”

I put the phone down pleased with myself. Then I began to wonder if it was all too easy. Could Kelly have had a quiet word with Danny already? I’d just have to wait and see.

I was right. Danny admitted that Kelly had given him a heads up about me wanting to talk to him. For a moment, I wondered who was boss around my home.

“The solution my friend is for me to drive to Vegas with your Ma.”

“But Danny, you know how you two rub each other up the wrong way?”

He grinned back at me.

“As your Brother, I took it upon myself to have a word with Ma when she came into town earlier to get her hair done.”

Ma was regular as clockwork with that. Every two weeks she had an appointment at the Salon.

“What happened?”

"Firstly, she's as mad as hell at you two for not talking to her first."

I began to dread going home that evening. I might be Sheriff but Ma is not past giving me a right talking too should she think I needed it.

"Then we talked things over and we agreed to try to be friends. After all, it is your wedding. Kelly will be on her own so we need to make the whole thing a painless as possible. If you want to get hitched in Vegas then Ma won't object although she had some choice words for them, Politicians, at State. If any of them dare set foot here come election time, I'd not want to be within earshot."

Ma could be very loud and persistent when she had a mind to. I’d almost not hired Kelly because Ma had expressed some pretty forthright views about LGBT people in the past despite her probably not ever having met any. Once she’d met Kelly and clocked her, she realised that being trans was not the work of the Devil and Kelly soon became part of the family.

Since Kelly had explained to her about her family, she’d been firmly on Kelly’s side.

“Do you think that you could put up with Ma for two days each way?”

"We'll have to. It will give her a chance to get to know me. I'm not the savage she thinks I am."

I knew exactly what sort of ‘savage’ he meant. Ma had three addictions in her life. Bingo, TV and especially, Soaps and Gameshows and finally Westerns. The latter had coloured her view of all present-day Native Americans even though most of it was pure unadulterated fiction.

“Are you sure Danny? Ma can be pretty… pretty abrasive when she gets going.”

“I’m sure Matt. Didn’t she come around over Kelly? Now she dotes on her as if she was her daughter.”

That was certainly the case.

“She does but you know Ma… When she gets on her high horse about something there is no stopping her.

Danny laughed.
“She’s gotten a lot more mellow in recent years. Since… oh… I’d say about the time you gave your Walt the heave-ho and you employed Kelly."

His words made me think a bit more. Perhaps he was right.

"Ok, Danny. If I am going to honour that promise I made to you in Kandahar then you are going to have to be Ma’s chauffeur.”

“Then we have a deal?”

“We do.”

Danny went away very happy but I felt as if I was being played. Not a lot but at least a bit.


[Two weeks later]

“That’s all settled then,” I said to Kelly late one evening at the Office.

“I hope so. Who would have thought that booking hotels in Vegas was so goldarned difficult? With all those extra charges our bills are going to look more like my AT&T phone bill. I’m surprised they aren’t charging for the air that we breathe. Everything else is an extra. Five bucks for two bottles of water in our rooms even if we don’t drink it? Do they think that it is ‘golden water’?”

We had a lot of pain booking hotel rooms for the four of us. One hotel refused to believe that Danny's surname actually was SWA. That's what it says on all his ID but even with faxed copies, they refused a booking. I'd lost my top and told them that was no way to treat a decorated Veteran! They didn't budge one inch.

Eventually, we booked rooms at the Stratosphere. Ok, it wasn’t on the strip but I’d always had a hankering to have a meal in a revolving restaurant and this seemed as good a place as any to do it. The Wedding Chapel we’d booked was just three blocks away and importantly, Kelly found a place to rent a nice wedding dress that was also in that part of town. I’d booked us a rental car for not only our visit but for our Honeymoon.

I left booking hotels for that to Kelly. She had a list of places that she wanted to visit. It was as long as my arm but after some editing, we came to a deal and a route that would end up in San Francisco. Kelly missed the sea. For a New Yorker, it was just a ride on the LIRR away but here in Custer County? We are a long way from anything especially the sea.


Kelly and I said goodbye to Ma and Danny on the Thursday morning of the following week. We’d meet them in Vegas on the Friday evening after that stayed overnight stay just east of Salt Lake City.

As they headed for the Interstate, I gave a silent prayer that neither of them would kill the other one before they returned from Sin City.

“Come on Sheriff. We have work to do at the office,” said Kelly as she interrupted my daydreaming.

“Yes, Officer Kelly we do.”

Our task for the day was to brief our temporary replacements. I'd called in a few favours and our neighbours in Clark County were going to loan us one of their Deputies. The other one was fresh out of the academy trooper from the State Police.


Back at the office, I called everyone together.

“As you know, Kelly and I are getting married on Saturday. Then we will be away for a couple of weeks. In our place is Office Bradley Cable from our Neighbours in Clark County. We all know Brad so introductions are not needed.”

I paused for effect.

“I’d like to introduce Trooper Ed McCall from the State Police. Ed is just out of the Academy so please go easy on him and show him how a County Police operates.”

"Now, as I'm going to be away, Sue-Ellen is in charge. We have talked things over and I'd like Brad to take my patrol SUV and generally work alone or as part of a team. Tom, I'd like you to mentor Ed. Remember that we don't always do things by the book. It is not always best to write a ticket for minor violations but as always, serious ones get the book thrown at them. Any questions?"

There was none. I didn’t expect any. I’d taken each of my officers aside the previous day and given them the heads up.


The next day, Kelly and I closed up the house and drove to Denver whereupon we flew to Vegas. The cramped seating almost made me wish I had driven but we’d made our bed and had to lie on it.

Vegas was hot and dry but was just about bearable as long as you were not outside for too long.

Once we’d check into the Hotel Kelly and I waited for Danny and Ma to arrive. According to a text we’d received while we were waiting for our bags at the airport, they were about 60 miles away and had just filled up with Gas.

When they had arrived and checked-in, we split up. Kelly and Ma went to a Bridal Gown Rental shop while Danny and I headed for a Men’s Dress Hire place. We’d already made appointments at the stores and had sent them our measurements.

Danny and I were back at the Hotel in under an hour. We were not expecting Ma and Kelly before early evening so we went into the Casino and played a few slots. Danny had a decent win of $100 which pleased him no end. I lost the grand sum of $10 which was my limit so we came out ahead on the day. Danny was happy because his win more than offset the cost of renting his suit.

Dinner in the revolving restaurant was good but spoiled by a noisy party of people from NYC. Kelly went over and gave them a verbal dressing down in her best New Yorker accent. They finally shut up when she threatened them with bringing her family of cops down on them. They did the wise thing and quietened down.

After that, the evening went well but it was obvious that Ma and Danny were tired from their journey so none of us was very late in going to bed.


My wedding day was another hot one. Thankfully, the AirCon in the rental car was working very well. We checked out of the hotel and made our way to the Wedding Chapel. Kelly looked fantastic in her gown. Danny was just Danny. His body was just not the right shape for off the peg suits. It had been the same in the Army. None of his dress uniforms ever fitted until a tailor took them apart and made them fit. He looked more nervous than me as we filed into the Chapel for the ceremony.

All it took was 20 minutes and Kelly and I were legally married. The celebrant said the words and we responded. Then it was time to kiss the bride. we returned to the hotel for a wedding Brunch. Just before midday, it was time for Danny to get changed and for him and Ma to hit the road. They were staying the night at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and the next one at a place called Gunnison in Colorado, before arriving home on Monday. So far, they hadn't killed each other which bode well for the rest of the trip.

Mrs Kelly Beecher and I headed in the other direction after returning the suits and her gown. Due to a cancellation, I’d managed to get a room at the Motel in Stovepipe Wells. This is right in the middle of Death Valley and somewhere that both of us had wanted to visit.

A few hours later, we sat by the pool watching the sun go down with a drink in front of us.

“Do you know that this is the first time we’ve been away from Custer County together,” I said.

“I know. Feels strange doesn’t it.”

“Very,” replied Kelly.
“I used to dream of getting married but reality kept getting in the way especially after I came out.”

“And then you came into my life.”

“I did it was the second-best thing I ever did.”

“Only the second?”

“Becoming the real me isn’t something that is easily beaten now is it?”

“No, my darling, it isn’t.”

Kelly picked up her drink.
“To the first night of the rest of our lives.”

I couldn’t disagree with that statement one little bit.

[to be continued]

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Comments

SAFE!!

Somehow I expected Walt to show up and put a monkeywrench in the works. Seems I was wrong. So far.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

I can't help wondering

Speaker's picture

if Ma and Danny's mutual dislike turns into mutual attraction on the drive home :)

Speaker

Samantha Lied to Us All

BarbieLee's picture

Sam is her usual Hot Stuff in writing this one. It flows smoothly with all the necessary parts of any great story. Setting, action, dialog is there in perfect proportions and it shows in spades with this chapter. Excellent story writing flows fluidly when the writer is NOT telling a story but living it as she tells it.
So how did I figure Sam is lying? Easy, she knows more about the mood, the state of affairs, and the geography of this nation than most natives. Probably squirreled away in some cabin in Colorado laughing her ...., off after convincing everyone she lives across the pond.
Hugs Sam
always
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

So close... So close

Barbie,
you almost got it 100% right. I have travelled extensively around the USA since my first trip in 1975. I have just two states left to visit. One of them is Alaska and the other is OK.
You got it right about Colorado. If I was squirrelled away somewhere in the USA it would be not far from the Alpine Tunnel (D&RGRR) or on the Oregon coast just above the CA border.
I live in Hampshire. Not New Hampshire but Old Hampshire which is indeed on the RH side of the Pond.
Thanks for brightening up a grey day.
Samantha

We're safe again.

WillowD's picture

This story also ends in a "[to be continued]".

Life is good.

To be continued...

There are five more episodes 'in the can' with a couple in development. There are three more to be published in this tranche.
Samantha

Wouldn't you

like to be a fly on the wall listening to Ma and his friend got along and play nice?

Coming put & being your self

Samantha Heart's picture

THAT IS #1! I'm happy for Kelly & Matt. They deserve each other & they both deserve to be happy.

Love Samantha Renée Heart.