I tried so desperately to go back to sleep, to be my true self again, but as always, I’m up, awake, and full of energy. The clock on the wall says it’s four in the morning. Jeez, how long did I sleep in. My headached a little but nothing painful. I pressed the service button and a moment later the nurse walked in.
“Good morning, I’m Ashley, how can I help you, sir?”
I winced at the word sir, “I just woke up I think and I’m wondering if you can get me a notebook or paper or something. I had a dream and trying to not forget it. Oh, and can you call my parents that I’m awake?”
The nurse nodded, “Yes, sir.” And walked away making me feel unattractive and disgusting. Do I really look a boy? I felt the need to pee and walked into the bathroom.
Staring at my reflection was like staring at a stranger and it became only stranger when that stranger was me. I had longish hair by boy standards with freckles dotting across my face like stars. My eyes and hair looked so bland. Not to mention my skin looked sickly. I really need to fix all this ugly boyness.
A bit later the nurse came in with my pen, paper, and a plate a food. “Anything else, Mr. Kellerston.”
I twirled the back of my hair in nervous tension, “Yeah um can you call me Rome? And I’m a miss not a mister haha.” I tried to laugh to break the tension and the bundle of anxious snakes that seem to be sliming their way throughout my body.
Ashley just raised her brow, “What are your pronouns.”
“She; her.”
She smiled at me, “Of course, Miss Rome. Anything else?”
The biggest, dumbest grin rose upon my freckled face, “Nothing, thank you.” And she exited. This was the first time anyone (outside of my dream) referred me as a girl. What a magical, wonderous sensation of butterflies and unicorns.
Which leaves me to my next task. I scribbled and remembered, often pacing around my room trying to remember the dream. I wrote most of it down. It seems like a lot of it was in the background while only clips of it actually visible.
I gave up on trying to remembering the dream itself and instead taking what I do remember and turning it into a fantasy. I closed my eyes and found myself twirling and dancing with Frankfurt. I played with my little girl in her obsession with tea parties. The little tyke always having a tea party of some kind. I felt the rush of air and cold waters of the creek. The love of my friends and family around me as I fell into the comforting arms of death. I wrote it all down, even if it wasn’t really part of the dream. I want to never forget who I actually am or was. Some may call it just a dream but I call it my second life, and I’ll be damned if I can’t at least recreate a similar version of it in this world.
Hi everyone, I hope you enjoyed the third installment of Adrenaline Jackey! I know I posted twice today but I thought I would since I had the inspiration. Remember to have a happy happy day!!!
