The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3274 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Tom was a wee bitty disappointed that I didn't try for Edinburgh, it was his alma mater, but he understood my reasons for deciding not to apply. I also think he was secretly relieved because it could have meant his losing regular contact with his grandchildren and I know he rejoices in that, telling me occasionally that adopting me had provided him with a second chance at life and he loved every moment of it. I tell him as often as I can that he gave me a second chance at life too, which enabled me to grow into who I am today, a crabby middle-aged woman who doesn't get enough sleep has too much work and too little time to play - but I love it too, and all the people who call me their mother, even the grown-up ones.

My job, I decided would do for now. Would I make a play for Sussex if it became vacant? I don't know, I really don't partly because part of me is ready to do something else, quite what I don't know, but I don't think it's making lots of wildlife films, but it might be looking at lots of wildlife, perhaps on other continents or even more of Europe.

Perhaps I could get more involved with the reserves we already run, the one near here with Billie's visitor centre and the area up in Scotland, which is run mainly by Perth University and they do keep me in the loop about what they're doing and what is happening up there. Most recently, they were worried about the very cold weather and the snow and the effect on the red deer, which can find it hard to forage for food and many die or become malnourished. Sometimes it is decided to cull some of them before it gets to that stage. I try to keep out of that decision but accept it does sometimes become necessary.

We've had the odd sprinkling of snow but nothing compared to Scotland and even up the east coast of England, where it got very nasty in parts of East Anglia, Cambridgeshire, Essex, Lincolnshire and even bits of Yorkshire. I consider we've been lucky but the youngsters may disagree, especially those who own sledges, but they haven't got to drive about in it and get in supplies of food and drink. There'd be hell to pay if we ran out of milk and they couldn't have cereal for breakfast, but they don't see that element of it and I didn't at their age either.

Danni has been training quite hard to get back her fitness and Scotland are still interested, thinking about it, the captain of the Scots rugby team plays his club rugby for Exeter and yet he plays for Scotland during the internationals and presumably trains with them. Okay, he's older than Danielle but it isn't insurmountable and there were rumours that Reading Ladies were interested in her, remember they saw her play when she had training sessions for England, so they are well aware of her potential. If she decides to play for them it would worry me more than Scotland because that would involve long trips every week and the logistics would be a nightmare. However, I believe they are in the women's premier league or whatever they call it and she would probably enjoy playing there, although she's still younger than most of them and probably a bit smaller. I expect when she's ready she'll let me know what she'd like to do and then we'll have a chat with her and Simon and perhaps Tom.

At the moment the actual games except at senior level are not being played so all the school's fixtures are off and the amateur games are too. I've been trying to get Trish to train with Danni but she isn't too interested in running, she did some of that before with Danni if you recall, but she's in no hurry to do so again. As I can't let a sixteen-year-old run on her own and I can't run like she does, I've been riding alongside her which means I get a small amount of exercise but it isn't enough to meet my needs and when it rains I get soaked and cold.

Danni has tried to get me running with her but I'm not very fit enough to do so, being out of puff within a few hundred yards. I know, at thirty-seven I should be able to do further than that, and I'd honestly love to be able to run with Danielle, I can't and so the bike is the next best thing.

The snow up in Scotland has stopped me from taking Danni up there for talks and training sessions with them but we hope at some time soon, she will be able to meet with them and show them what she can do and why they need her, especially when they play against England. Though I should imagine she'll be up against eleven very hostile women who will try to upset her with taunts and fouls and the best way she can retaliate is to create or score goals. I sincerely hope she does.

Trish has no aspirations of playing for anyone beyond the school team and if you remember, she was reluctant to do that in the beginning. We've tried to encourage her but I suspect she is put off having seen the furore that Danielle was put through before being dropped from the national side by a gutless load of stuffed shirts. I don't really blame her, and if it became known she was also an XY chromosome woman, coming from the same family, the tabloids would have a field day. It seems we are never allowed to just be ourselves but that we have to accept that we are different and allow the prurience of others because of it, but if we try to give it back to them, they close ranks and the name-calling gets louder. They cannot seem to understand that no one in their right mind would choose to be transsexual and the only choices we have are what we do about it. It doesn't stop there though, because if we look like ordinary females they seem to feel they have a right to expose us, and if we look less female than we'd like, they like to ridicule us. I'll bet they don't do that to many other groups because it's harder to demonstrate the difference than it is for people who swap gender. It does tend to be noticeable, even my fellow students spotted there was something odd about me when I was beginning my transition and trying to hide the effects of oestrogen and the way it transmogrified me.

Strangely, in those days I was trying to hide my newly emerging female shape and then when I did transition, I was trying to hide any vestiges of my previous masculine existence. In school, I was simply trying to hide full stop as I was bullied continuously and then realised I had some power by refusing to conform to normal standards and bending those standards, I was able to wear my hair as long as many of my contemporaries - girls of course. That it annoyed the headmaster, Aubrey Murray, rather a lot made it seem worthwhile. I spent most of my high-school days being locked in a battle of nerves with him, the arch bully of the school.

I played Lady Macbeth because he convinced my father it would embarrass me out of being so girly. It didn't and I got to wear skirts to school for the best part of a month, aided and abetted by my best friend, perhaps my only real friend, Siân, who loaned me things, helped me with makeup and hair and generally enabled me to piss off both Murray and my dad - two birds with one stone. He always came back at me eventually, Murray, that is, but even minor victories showed him he couldn't cow me however much bull he threw at me and such resistance against perhaps good sense, was also present in Trish, who refused to be beaten by the bullies in her home and insisting on being herself. Thankfully neither of us died as a consequence but we both sailed close to it once or twice and I know others who didn't survive a similar voyage.

Things should be improving but then the conservatives take control and capitalise on pointing out differences and pointing fingers at minority groups causing a distraction while they overthrow or reduce democratic power as has happened in places like Poland, Hungary and Russia. Hopefully, democracy and enlightenment will one day return to these countries but at the moment we have to be aware such things don't happen closer to home, the price of freedom is constant vigilance - how true that is.