The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3028 by Angharad Copyright© 2016 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I suppose Stephanie was as straight-talking as I’ve ever heard her. So to her mind I’m female—it’s very gratifying to hear her say so, but she’s only doing it because she likes me. Logic demands that if I’m XY then I’m biologically male. If I wasn’t, they’d have found bits of uterus or ovaries when I was modified. I didn’t have any, as far as I know, which means I must be biologically male, but of a sort which doesn’t respond to testosterone or other androgens.

So, however well meaning they all are, they’re wrong, including my imaginary friend, the goddess; though I can’t for the life of me understand why she chose me instead of a biological female and also why Trish and Danni plus Julie to some extent. Perhaps divine logic works on some other level than science. Scientific logic is usually proven by experiment which can be replicated to give the same results. Oh don’t tell me, by having Trish, Danni and Julie, my essence can be replicated. At this absurdity I started to chuckle to myself and was about to get up to go to bed myself when I found myself stuck to the chair. For a moment I wondered if I was asleep and suffering from sleep paralysis or night terrors.

However, the moonlight shining in front of me began to form a familiar shape and before me stood the goddess. “Catherine, one of the disadvantages, at times at least, of being divine is being able to read the thoughts of humans, though most are as banal as their conversations. You are different. Your stubbornness would make the average mule seem half-hearted in its resistance and your dismissal of divine opinion is, frankly, impertinent.

“If we say you are female, that is an end to the matter. That you came to that status by a different route to your biological sisters is important, as it is with your daughters, Julie, Danielle and Patricia. They had no choice either in being who they are and what they are. You all needed to experience the discomfort of thinking you were in the wrong body, to know what it feels like to be different and even to suffer that charge from others who recognise you as different. You are different, but in ways you cannot possibly realise at present, but which will become clear when the time approaches.

“Your parents now, having fulfilled our purpose, understand your true status as our handmaiden, and that of your daughters as your assistants. Your development and training will continue until you are ready for our purpose when all will become understandable, even to your limited vision, blinkered as it is by so called reason and logic. Understand now, that not everything is explicable through science, especially primitive forms like yours on earth. Some things you will have to learn to accept perhaps because you cannot explain them, because it is your destiny.

“You will sleep now and when you awake this ‘dream’ as you will term it will be remembered in all its detail so you will be able to recall it at a time in the future and realise why we have chosen you and given you your daughters, all of whom have a specialness you will need to complete your mission. Take care of them all, they all have our essence in them but in differing ways for different purposes, that you are mother to them all is no coincidence.”

At six the next morning I awoke in my bed, alongside me, still asleep was Danielle. I slipped out of bed and after a quick visit to the loo, I went to the kitchen and switched on the kettle. My dream was very clear in my head. Would my higher self be talking about missions and the status of my children? The implication was that we were some sort of family of super beings. It was no coincidence was it? I sat and counted the number of my children. I had ten, eleven if I included Billie, with me that made a nice round dozen. That would figure, twelve disciples, twelve tribes of you know where—you’d think in the twenty first century, they’d have decimalised it all by now.

I chuckled to myself until I recounted. I had ten children, perhaps they had decimalised things? Ooops. Did Billie still figure in all this nonsense—she seemed like some sort of go between, presumably for a reason. I made my tea and went out onto the patio and sat watching the rising sun. It was a little cool outside but it helped to wake me up.

Had I simply had a dream or did I have another visitation? You’d think with my disinclination to believe in fairy tales she’d have found someone else, it had to be easier. Ah, but it’s my destiny apparently, right. I wanted to laugh, I was clearly going completely bonkers having auditory and visual hallucinations—either that or I’m superwoman—even if I am, I am not, repeat not, wearing my knickers over my tights. Maybe I should see if I can fly?

I sipped my tea and I caught sight of movement out of the corner of my eye, I glanced and saw Billie and my heart nearly stopped. “Please don’t mock what you don’t yet understand, Mummy. I love you very much.”

I heard her words in her voice as clearly as the birdsong from the tree above me. I could no longer see as tears were flooding down my face. I was obviously going completely mad and I didn’t know what to do about it. If I really told anyone what I experience they’d lock me up and take the girls away from me. Special, yeah I am, I’m absolutely crazy. I just wonder how much longer I can keep it a secret before someone in authority finds out. What is that saying, ‘Those whom the gods love, they first make mad.’ Looks like it could be true.

“There you are, Mummy?” a sleepy looking Danielle appeared from the house.

“Yes, just having a cuppa and watching the sun rise.”

“Isn’t it a bit cool for that?”

“I didn’t feel cold.”

She came up to me and gave me a hug. “Why were you crying?”

“Who said I was, it’s just my eyes watering after I yawned.”

“You saw Billie, didn’t you?”

“If you know, why are you asking?”

“She follows you around you know, keeping an eye on you.”

“That’s very comforting to know.” I said as I hugged her back and felt the tears once again form in my eyes.

“She loves you too much to leave you.”

That did it, I wept inconsolably for several minutes while Danni held me. When I stopped, she said to me, “That was supposed to make you feel better not worse.”

“It did make me feel better.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” she said releasing me. “I’m going to get some breakfast, you want some toast?”

“Hmm, that would be good.”