The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3286 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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"Muuummmy dearest," began Danielle as I opened the door of the car for her and her siblings.

"I doubt it," I replied.

"Doubt what?" asked the brainiac.

"I'm a scientist, I doubt everything, including what your big sister is after."

"Yeah, but Gramps reckons you're a rubbish scientist..." retorted the clever one, who would soon be the late clever one if she continued down that road.

"Knock it off, Trish," instructed Danni. "Mummy, I need a ride to Reading tomorrow."

"What for, not an England game, if it is you should have given me more notice."

"I'm telling you the night before, how much notice do you need?"

"At least two weeks if it's written and in triplicate, longer if it's verbal."

"Mummy, don't be silly, you couldn't organise something that is two weeks away, you'd forget it before then," she then added as a stage whisper, "It happens to old people."

"If you start now, girl, you might be able to walk to Reading in about two weeks," was my riposte.

"I could be abducted and murdered before I got there, besides there's a good film on tonight."

I never know whether to laugh, cry or just kill all of them to make sure I get the right one. "Assuming we find the body, we'll give you a good funeral, won't we girls?"

"Can I have your CDs?" asked Livvie.

"Aww, I wanted them," said Hannah.

"So did I," claimed Trish.

"D'you mind, I'm still here and not dead yet," protested Danni.

"Yeah, but that's just a technicality," retorted Trish.

"You what?" gasped Danni.

"Yeah, Trish is right, if you were walking to Reading, you'd probably wouldn't get as far as the motorway before some clever dick in a 4x4 ran you down, without even noticing."

"Gramps would notice, you know," suggested Livvie and they all fell about laughing.

"Try again. Danielle, why have you got to go to Reading?"

"To sign the contract, they want her to play for them next season," blurted Hannah.

"Gee thanks, Han. I am capable of telling my own news, you know."

"Like you're capable of getting Mum to take you when the one you really need to go with you is Daddy."

"Yeah but he's up in Scotland, in he?" asked Danni murdering the Queen's English.

"Nah, he's back tonight."

"Is he?" This was certainly news to me.

"Yeah, I sent him a text asking if he could take me to Reading and he said he couldn't because of something you'd cocked up and he had to fix it."

"There is nothing I have cocked up that he wouldn't make twice the mess of," I said rather loudly and felt myself blushing realising when they all started laughing again that I'd been caught in a rather more sophisticated trap than they usually managed - the little buggers.

"Is Daddy taking you?" asked Trish.

"Dunno, all he did was ask me to remind David he was back tonight."

"Did you?" asked Hannah.

"Did I what?" said Danni playing with her phone.

"Duh, tell David, stoopid."

"Yeah, just sent him a text."

"He'll have started the dinner by now, you dipstick."

"So he's only got to peel a couple more spuds, no big deal."

"Spuds? He's doing a vegetable lasagne, you doofus," added Livvie.

"How was I to know?" shrugged Danni.

"Because you asked him to do it," shouted the others.

"Oh yeah, I s'pose I could make him scrambled eggs on toast if he's really hungry."

"Tell him to get some fish and chips on the way home."

"What, David?"

"No, Daddy," said Livvie.

"Yeah, get some for me while he's at it," said Trish and before long they were all saying they'd prefer fish and chips to vegetable lasagne.

I turned into the drive - the car, I turned the car into the drive, this isn't a magic show, and a few moments later they all bailed out and ran in through the back door as the rain that had been threatening, added hail to its menace. I ran in as well, watching lumps of frozen rain about the size of five mil ball-bearings, bouncing off the back doorstep. "It's supposed to be May," I said to no one in particular.

"Tea?" asked David.

"Please," I sighed and gratefully accepted the mug he handed to me.

"It's not lasagne," declared Trish standing with her hands on her hips looking at the week's menu.

"Worrisit then?" called Hannah demonstrating that you can take the girl out of Portsmouth, but not Portsmouth.... It also showed the school didn't seem to have much success with spoken grammar or elocution.

"You'll never guess," Trish shouted back.

"No, I won't so tell me."

"Nah, can'ive a drink, Mummy?"

"Six grand a term and they talk like stevedores," I muttered to myself.

"Eton is worse," offered Stella walking up to me and accepting the cup from David.

"What?" I asked wondering what she was talking about.

"Eton, their fees are even higher and all they turn out is moronic prime ministers."

I had to agree, so nodded.

"What's for tea, please, David?" asked Danni.

"Well what would you like, young lady?" he asked back of her.

"Uh, fish and chips would be nice."

"With peas or beans?" he asked.

"Beans, please."

"And what will you do for me in return for this succulent comestible?"

"What?" she gasped looking horrified.

"Well, I'm doing you a favour, what are you offering in return?"

"Uh, I dunno - hang on, you work here, so I don't need to return favours, so get to work you overpaid burger flipper." She shot out of the kitchen before he could retaliate and I had to help Stella clean up the tea she had snorted everywhere.

I'd actually asked David to do some baked haddock with chips and beans because I'd fancied it as well, so the change of menu was my fault. Have I mentioned David makes his own breadcrumbs, seasoned with all sorts of subtle flavours and when he bakes the fish he wraps it in foil and adds a slice of lemon or tomato or mushroom to it. His chips are wonderful as well, though sadly, they still put weight on your hips, perhaps chips really means calories on your hips, or in my case, it could. Simon tends to add to his beer belly, although he doesn't drink that much beer, but he does eat enough for three.

"Si will be here in half an hour, shall I start the chips?"

"Give him another ten minutes and then do it, he'll probably want to change first."

"Okay." He went off to fiddle with something else.

Meanwhile, I went up to my bedroom and changed out of work clothes and into a pair of jeans and sweatshirt, hardly elegance but warm and comfortable.

As I entered the kitchen after changing, Danielle, who was dressed similarly to me, announced to David that Sammi was coming home too. He nodded. "Oh, you know?"

"Yeah."

"How, she only decided a couple of hours ago?"

"She told me."

"Oh." Danielle turned to walk away and do some homework when she turned back and said, "When did she tell you?"

"Before you got home," he said and blushed slightly so I knew he was doing a wind-up.

"I don't believe you," asserted Danni.

"Tough titty," he threw back at her and Stella put her cup down.

Danni waved her arms about in despair and stormed out of the kitchen making noises like someone was examining her tonsils.

"Why didn't you tell her that you always do some extra fish in case one of the others arrives?" Stella asked David quietly.

"Where's the fun in that?" he chuckled back at her.

"It'll be good to see Sammi again," I said to anyone who was listening.

"Yeah, will be," added a voice from behind me. Trish had returned and huffed when I refused her a biscuit before her meal.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Two reasons, it will spoil your tea and second, you just treated me with disrespect, so I'm not allowing you a biscuit."

"I always thought respect was something you earn," she muttered returning to the dining room and her homework.

That remark had irritated me but then I remembered that Trish fires off these salvos without thinking about where they land. It's almost like her cognitive comment maker doesn't have much of a link to her emotional mind. Having said that, when she's really mad with someone, sometimes me, she switches to cruise missiles and goes for total annihilation. Then regrets it at leisure. We all know she only means it for a millisecond but that short time can be quite devastating as she doesn't always realise the power that words can hold for the recipient. The old saying, ' Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me,' has never seen the mental anguish nasty words can create. This was brought home to me when the daughter of a woman I worked with, on my Saturday job in a supermarket back in Bristol, walked out in front of a bus after some name-calling in school, and that was year five. Words can be just as lethal as knives to sensitive or vulnerable people.

I heard David emptying the chips into the deep fat fryer as I mused upon this old memory. A moment later Simon followed Sammi in through the back door and hugged me before kissing me. "God, I've missed you," he said before kissing me and hugging me at the same time. I also felt something bulging in his trousers and knew what he'd be after later on, no surprise there.

"Hi, Mummy," Sammi pecked me on the cheek.

"Hello, darling," I replied and before I could say anything else Trish rushed into the kitchen and launched herself at Simon followed by Meems. After they'd greeted their dad, she turned her attention to Sammi.

"Did you get my email?" she asked.

"We'll talk about it later, okay?"

She showed a degree of disappointment but accepted Sammi's answer.

"I need to go and freshen up, give me ten, David, will you?" Sammi called as she rushed up the stairs.

"Course."

"Me too, Dave," called Simon and dashed off after her.

David shook his head and emptied out the first pile of chips into a warming drawer and dropped the next batch of chipped potatoes into the fat the sizzling noise abating as he closed the lid of the fryer.

I smiled at him, he had got to know us well and also knew he'd be welcome to dine with us but he told me that he'd take his back to his cottage as he wanted to watch something on the tv. So he departed the madness to eat his meal in peace and quiet while the rest of us sat around a table all chattering at the same time, sounding like a flock of starlings, which made me think how nice it was sitting in a hide bird-watching rather than this continuous noise. Then I remembered, this was my home and this was my family and this, was where I belonged.
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