The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3114 by Angharad Copyright© 2017 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
*****

After rousing the girls and leaving them to sort themselves out, I descended to start the process of breakfast. So kettle on, bread in toaster, dishes and plates on table, bananas—damn, we have no bananas. Oh well, I’ll have to eat toast by itself, unless I have a slice of cheese on it, though that isn’t the same and certainly won’t count as one of my five a day, which according to one article I read should be seven or even nine a day. I am an omnivore, I eat plants and furry, feathered or scale covered things plus the occasional crustacean. I eat leaves, shoots, seeds and fruit together with roots of some plants. If I ate much more fruit and veg, I’d be verging on herbivorous only in people we call that vegetarian. Nah, not me, like the dormouse, I’m an opportunist omnivore.

Dormice used be categorised as herbivorous until someone actually did some studies about what they did eat. They do eat fruits and flowers, nuts and some buds and various seeds but much of the summer, they are insectivorous and probably eat other animal protein as well such as birds’ eggs or even baby birds. Nature is very red in tooth and claw and is much about survival of the most adaptive as things which become overly specialised in either diet or habitat are likely to become extinct if major change occurs to their food supply or the world in which they live, much of which is caused by those large two legged rats who despoil this wonderful planet.

I heard on the news that a large number of penguins in southern Africa are in danger of starvation because the climate has changed causing the sea to change and there has also been massive overfishing on an industrial scale, so the sardines they feed on aren’t where they used to be and the African penguins haven’t adapted to this change. Numbers of them have dropped by a third in the past five years, I think they said, which is quite an indictment of human activity.

There are too many of us, we are a voraciously greedy species who often take far more than we need because we think we can make money from the extra. If whatever is exploited, is over exploited it ceases to be sustainable and will thus run out, which usually means the exploiters will move on and exploit somewhere else not caring about the consequences.

If only governments enforced sustainability the world could be so much better. Instead we are fast heading towards a place where wars will increasingly be fought over food and water as climate change means the availability of agriculturally viable land decreases with drought and desertification, plus in the longer term sea levels rising.

Millions are displaced by political or religious power games, often fuelled by world powers fighting proxy wars. The misery of these unfortunates will expand tenfold as much of Africa becomes barren through drought and the migrations we see now will be even greater. Life on a small planet is going to become increasingly difficult because one species has run amok. Plague or famine will eventually reduce numbers, but like so many things, if we really were a sapient species, it could have been avoided—now I rather think it’s too late.

I bought the cakes after dropping the children off at school and explained to Diane as it was half term, I was taking the odd day off, including next Wednesday.

“Aren’t you the lucky one,” she fired back, “half of them have cancelled asking for a rematch, I mean a new date.”

“Danielle is playing at Wembley on Wednesday, I’m taking the girls up to cheer her on, but she mustn’t learn about it until she sees us there.”

“So she’s got another England call up, has she?”

“She’s in the squad but I think very likely to play because she can bend it like Beckham.”

“I remember a film of that name, wasn’t Keira wassername in it?”

“Keira Knightly, yes she was,” I confirmed though I hadn’t seen it myself. I thought it had such a naff title I didn’t bother. Having been with Danielle when she met Beckham, I might think differently now and he was certainly very human on Desert Island Discs the other week, though I wasn’t sure about his taste in music.

“I suppose you want tea?” asked Diane condescendingly.

“If I said yes, to go with the cakes, would it make a difference?”

“It might,” she said looking in the bag. “You’ll make me fat.”

“Only if you eat them, it isn’t compulsory.”

“No it’s obligatory.”

“What?”

“Well if I didn’t eat any, you’d have to eat them all and then you’d get fat, and I’m far too fond of you to let that happen, so you see I don’t have a choice. Besides I can’t just turn my back on an iced custard slice, now, can I?”

“If you put logic like that in a paper that I marked you’d fail.”

“Ah but the logic of cakes is different.”

“If I stay here much longer I’ll be as batty as you, take the one you want and I’ll have the other. Oh and once you’ve boosted your sugar levels cancel the rest of those meetings will you?”

“For you oh provider of such sugary dainties, anything.” She went off to make tea giggling while I put the bag of bananas I’d bought alongside my handbag so I didn’t forget them when I went home. I was tempted to eat one now to make up for my missing breakfast item, but decided the apple turnover I’d have in a few minutes provided some vegetable matter towards my five a day.

I was looking at the messages she’d taken for me. “Is that bloody woman off again?”
I asked Diane, Veronica Erikson, had only been with us a year and she’d been off sick for at least a month of that.

“You know she has diabetes.”

“So does, wossisname in computing, but he’s always here.”

“She also has a little one.”

“Since when?”

“She’s six months old.”

“Is she? I didn’t even know she was pregnant, she’s so fat.”

“She didn’t tell us when she interviewed, and none of you lot picked up on it.”

“We needed someone to teach environmental biology.”

“Isn’t that what you used to teach?”

“Yes, why?”

“Your morning meeting has cancelled and...”

“You wonder if I’d like to bore the pants off a group of first years?”

“It would be one way of burning off the carbs from your apple turnover.”

“Find my notes then would you and I’ll see if I can remember enough to blag my way through it; though had I known I was going to be standing teaching all morning, I’d have worn more comfortable shoes.”

She looked down at my high heeled court shoes and smirked. She’ll have to go.