---

Previously

"One thing I am so thankful for...actually two." She looked at him, puzzled.

"First, I am so glad that God gave me a wise woman for a wife." He pause and she replied,

"And?" She tilted her head.

"He made me wise enough to listen to her!"

He laughed softly before taking a sip of his coffee. Sitting on the table lay Connie's Bible, which was open to a page she had shown him only minutes before. She had used a yellow highlighter to mark the passage she wanted him to read. And underlined in pen as well, it read, Colossians 3:21 -

Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

Connie grabbed a cup out of the dish rack and poured herself some coffee before kissing Andrew on the cheek.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"I believe yes you have...but I'd love to hear it again." He smiled before she leaned over and kissed him, this time on the lips.

"I love you," he said as their lips parted. "Oh so much. I want to be the one to call to set up the appointment...it's the least I can do for..." He paused in thought, absentmindedly stroking the brush of his own short hair.

"I owe him...her...what do we call our child?" He said as his eyes filled with tears once again.

"I believe her name is Anne Marie."

---

Later that week at the McKenna home

"Are you planning this party or am I going to wake up Saturday morning to find twelve screaming happy on-the-verge-of-womenhood females knocking on our door?" Kellan McKenna said in a soft brogue as he sipped his coffee.

"No, Daddy...we already sent out the invitations and we're going to have pizza and cake..." Maureen said as she finished drying the last of dinner's dishes.

"You owe me for two chores now, Jim...how about laundry Saturday? We'll call it even and me and Col can get ready for the party, kay?" A voice called up from the basement.

"Sure thing. Archie will help with it, won't you Arch?" Jimmy walked into the kitchen and grabbed a mug out of the dish rack. Walking over to the coffee pot, he poured some into the mug and sat down. Black and hot...just like Dad.

"Fuck no...I did it last week!" Archie called from the stairwell as he emerged from the basement.

"Watch the tongue, Archie!" Kellan looked at his son and glared.

"Sorry, Papa Dukes!"

"We can get it done if we work together. I'll do some Friday night so we can be out of the house by the time the party starts." Jimmy smiled and Archie nodded reluctantly.

"Are those new girls going to be here...you know…the...." Kellan smiled.

"Italian Daddy...it's okay to say it. And ...no...They're busy." Maureen said, shooting a glare at Archie as if to say, "Don't you dare!" He paid no heed and started in on the girls.

"Why don't you tell Dad about them? I bet he'd like to know about their family...them bein' the next block over. Maybe they could come over for dinner some time." Kellan had seen Dina and Annie only in passing as he dropped off some groceries one afternoon between jobs.

"They seem to be nice kids…not too talky. Are they shy?" He asked.

"Oh hell no...Once you get to know them...they're friendly...right Mo?" Archie's smile was almost diabolic, if a thirteen year old could be that mean.

"They're really shy, Daddy. Right, Col?" She looked over to her sister for help.

"Ah yeah....shy." She looked at Archie and cringed.

"Oh fuck this shit...Dad..They’re guys! They're in the girls' grade and they fucking wear dresses!" Mo dropped the mug she was holding and it shattered. Colleen looked at Archie and burst into tears before running to her room.

"Man, shut up." Jimmy said as he slapped the back of his brother's head.

"NO! You shut up. Dad...they're queer...fucking queer." Archie almost pled for his father to listen. An entirely unnecessary entreaty as Kellan calmly got up from the table. He walked over to Mo and kissed her forehead.

"Here, honey, let me get that. You go and see about your sister, okay?" He leaned over and calmly picked up the shards of mug and dropped them into the trash before sitting down once again. He took a sip of coffee and looked at Archie with a half smile.

"Now...listen closely, Arch, 'cause I'm not going to repeat myself, understand?" Any time Kellan McKenna used the word 'understand' with his children it was a time for listening and nodding and it certainly was never a time for dialogue. Archie nodded and Kellan continued.

"First...watch the tongue, okay?" He widened his eyes and Archie nodded quickly.

"Second...and this is the most important thing you'll here from me today, okay?" Another nod.

"You will…and I say this with all the patience I can muster…never, ever use that tone or those words in this house again. You will go talk to your sisters after we are finished and apologize, do I make myself clear?" Archie's eyes widened and he nodded, this time with a nervous edge that had never before appeared on his face. The only phrase more feared in the McKenna household than "understand" was "Do I make myself clear?"

"Listen carefully, son. Your mother and I didn't raise you to be hateful or cruel. I don't know why you feel this way...maybe you've been hangin' around that friend of yours too long. You should be showin' him a thing or two and not the other way around, right?" Another anxious nod.

"You have an uncle…your favorite Uncle Paddy from what I recall." There really wasn't any recalling; the whole family idolized their late mother's only brother Paddy Kelleher.

"Well, it might surprise you to know that your Uncle Pat is one of those…how'd you put it??? Oh yes. Fucking Queer!" Archie's eyes grew wider and he cringed a bit. His father always seemed to grow bigger when he swore, which was extremely rare, since he only did it when he quoted his children before discilplining them.

"You'd best think about what you said about your own kin, boy! Paddy is one of my friends as well as your uncle, and I don't think it's fair or wise to be putting him to shame, do you? Well, do you?" A second question always invited an answer; actually it demanded an answer.

"NNNoo sir." Archie was going to add "but" and a qualifying phrase until he saw the glint in his father's eyes.

"NNno...no sir," he repeated. Good idea.

"Well. I want you to call up your uncle and tell him exactly what we just talked about. And I want you to apologize to him and his partner and anyone else he thinks of. Do I make myself clear?" A cringe followed by a quick nod.

"Well then...when the girls come back out you'd better be ready to apologize to them, okay?" Archie nodded and cringed again. Kellan leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"A father chastises those he loves, Arch. Okay?" Kellan smiled and Archie smiled back before getting up and retreating to the basement.

"Did you know about these boys?" Kellan asked Jimmy who just nodded. Kellan tilted his head slightly as if to say, 'and?"

"Yes... I was afraid that they might...well that the girls would be......that their friends would..." Jimmy struggled for words until his father spoke again.

"You were afraid that they would bring shame upon our house. I understand why, but you're wrong. I don't know them and maybe that's not such a good thing. I'll be speakin' with their parents for sure. But never worry about who someone is. Being that they're fellow humans created in the likeness of God and all, they're just like you, aren't they?" Jimmy looked away.

"Jimmy...what's up? I've never known you to be scared, even for anyone else?"

"I just don't want Mo and Col to get hurt, Pop." He shook his head.

"Well, that's something we can't control. We can protect our own as much as possible, but everyone eventually gets hurt, Jim...it's what we do afterwards that makes a difference. Don't worry about protecting your sisters; just keep lovin' em like you always have and everything will work out okay." He reached over and patted Jimmy on the shoulder.

"You and your brother do what you can, I'll do what I can and we'll leave the rest up to Him, okay?" Kellan smiled as he pointed upward.

"Okay."

Can it be, do you hear?
A new freedom song is ring-in'
No more doubt no more fear
There's a new day that is bringin'

---

The office of Dr. Kelly Callahan

Kelly Callahan sat back as the jazz played in the background. Brianna knocked on the doorframe.

"The Manganos are here for your two o'clock."

"Thanks, Brianna. Send them in." A moment later Andy and his parents sat on the couch opposite her chair. She had purposely moved the extra chair out so they would have to sit together. Andy sat in the middle, flanked by a tearful Connie on his left and an very anxious looking Andrew on his right.

“I’m going to talk with you about quite a few things today, okay? Kelly Callahan smiled at Andy who smiled back nervously.

“First, you and your parents and I will work together to figure some things out about you. I don’t want to say quickly, but we need to make some determinations soon since you’re already fifteen.

“Why is that, Doctor?” Andrew Mangano looked almost as nervous as his son.

“Because if what we already suspect is true about your child, Mr. Mangano, we’ll need to make some…adjustments. I’m not saying we will, but the sooner we determine your child’s true gender the sooner we’ll know what course of action to take.

“By course of action, what do you mean?” Andrew seemed to be impatient.

“As we look into Andy’s issues, we might determine that he’s not what we call gender dysphoric, but the course of action would still be to treat his depression and low self-esteem.” She paused and looked at Andy.

“Your insomnia and your cutting are something we will be discussing either way, Andy.” She smiled and he nodded nervously.

“Andy…you’re not here because you’re in trouble.” She leaned forward and looked back and forth between him and Connie and Andrew, fixing her look on Andrew while saying ‘trouble.”

“But we’re also here to look at who you are and why you feel the way you do about yourself. Some boys experiment with dressing up in their mother’s or sister’s clothing. It’s not all that uncommon, and sometimes it carries on into adulthood, most times not.” Andrew leaned closer and spoke.

“But what if it’s not a phase?” He looked worried, and Conniereached across Andy and grabbed her husband’s hand.

“What if it doesn’t go away?” Connie almost pled.

“I can assure you that whatever the state of Andy’s gender, it’s not fatal.” She smiled and Andrew frowned.

“This isn’t funny, doctor. We raised a son to the age of fifteen and you may be telling us that he’s a crossdresser or worse.” He wrinkled his brow anxiously.

“There is nothing worse or better about where your son is at gender-wise, Mr. Mangano. There’s nothing wrong with him, no matter what we determine.” She smiled at Andy and patted his knee.

“Let’s think about what we already know. Okay?” Andy nodded.

“Your problem with sleep? I’d like to take him off the Ambien. Since he’s already stopped taking it on his own, there’s no need to wean him. But I don’t want to put him on any more medications; at least just yet, and perhaps not at all, okay?” Connie and Andy nodded while Andrew looked away.

“When I worked in a children’s residential program, we had a lot of kids who were already like walking pharmacies. We found that Benedryl works just as good as a sleep aid, and it’s helpful obviously for Andy’s allergies anyway. So a kids’s dose will help. About waking? We’ll do a sleep study. I’ll prescribe that for him today and you can set up an appointment with the hospital.”

“A sleep study?” Andrew asked, less agitated and a bit warmer.

“Yes, they’ll observe him during his sleep and they’ll be doing an EEG to determine if there’s anything going on in the brain. My guess is that his problem is anxiety related, which should be no surprise to you. Either way, it’s just one of the things we’ll be looking at.” She smiled and received three smiles in return.

“And I’m taking him off the antidepressant for the time being…we’ll wean you off it a little at a time over a week. I want to get a baseline on how well you function without it. I’m surprised Dr. Anderson prescribed that one since one of its side effects is insomnia.” Andrew shook his head and spoke.

“Well, what can we do while he's not on the medication?” The worry in Andrew’s voice surprised Connie.

“We’ll be able to address that once we know exactly what your needs are, okay Andy?” He nodded and smiled. Kelly tried to include him as much as possible; his need for reinforcement was a concern of hers beyond the gender issues.

“What about the sex thing?” Connie said, turning red as soon as she said it.

“The gender issue is part and parcel with Andy’s depression. As we clarify what his needs are regarding his gender the other issues will likely sort themselves out. We already know that much of his anxiety and depression is directly related to his gender issues. What Andy needs from all of us at this time is support and encouragment; that he is okay no matter what we find out. Do you understand?” She looked at all of them but her focus was on Andrew.

“Mr. Mangano…I want to assure you of some things. First, I can see that you folks are doing a great job of parenting with Andy.” Andy looked at Andrew and smiled, which was returned with a shrug, as if he were telling Andy he didn’t agree.

“Dad…I know you want to fix this, but I don’t need to be fixed.” He shook his head and Andrew went to interrupt him but Andy continued quickly.

“But you have to know I know you love me. I know that everything you’ve done is because you wanted to…you wanted to make sure I was okay. I’m okay, Dad, really.” Andy grabbed Andrew’s arm.

“But you have to know that I’m not Andy…as much as I want to be, Dad, I’m not. I can’t be him for you.” He turned to Connie.

“You both have to let me go.” Connie put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.

“You think I’m this way because you did something wrong. Dad…Daddy…Mom…I’m this way because you did it all right. I’m supposed to be this way. Annie is who I am, Mom.” Connie looked at Andrew who had tears in his eyes.

“You don’t know how many times I wanted you to hug me when I was upset…that you could know how…”

“Andy…I’m…sssorry….I just wanted the best for you. You know that, don’t you?” Andrew turned away, almost anticipating that his child would reject him.”

“Daddy…Dad??? I know you meant well…I know…” A choked sob.

“I know you and Mom love me…but you need to love me…not who you want me to be..Not who you think I am. My cutting…my gaming? That’s part of who I am.” Connie went to hug him but Kelly cautioned her with an outstretched hand.

“Dad? Andy left a long time ago…I don’t even know if he ever was here…but I’m here now and I need you to love me…Annie…your…Daddy please…please..Don’t turn away.” A hand on his arm reminded Andrew just why he was there; he wanted to do right by his child. He wanted to make that connection; why care otherwise? He turned and saw his daughter for the first time. She wore a rust colored sweatshirt and a crewcut, but she sat there as pretty as he could have imagined. A funeral that was bitter sweet and a christening that was glorious taking place at the same time.

“Oh God…Andy…Aaaa…Annie, I’m so sorry. I do love you. Please forgive me.” Andrew drew his daughter to himself, hugging her for the very first time, as it were while saying goodbye for the last time to his son. Colleen leaned over and joined the hug as Kelly Callahan sat back, tears filling her own eyes as she appreciated once again one of the wonderful Conniethings that gave purpose to her life.
 
Can it be, do you hear?
A new freedom song is ring-in'
No more doubt no more fear
There's a new day that is bringin'
Something simple is the Key
Only Love will set us free
It's so far, it's so near
Almost close, almost here.

Next: No One Preaches Like Pastore!

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Love Theme from Spartacus
words and music by
Terry Callier and Alex North
as performed by Akiko
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_vAwKnFlQk&feature=related