I am not sure if its stress or the pain I am in, but I seem very fragile at the moment.

So if I start crying forgive me?

I have been debating when I should mention this in public - I am moving at the end of July.

The reason why I am bringing it up now is to warn everybody I'll have to dial back my online presence to spend time prepping for the move, and I didn't want anybody to panic.

I spent the morning walking up hill and down dale in woodland checking dormouse nest boxes. I suspect we probably checked about a hundred and fifty. We found two sharing a box, a male and female; both were torpid but equally gorgeous.

This I think is the male, who was slightly heavier.

Some stories hit so very hard, the feelings scream for expression.

I made it across the border. no problems, no issues. border guards were friendly and helpful and not at all intimidating or rude. I'm home to stay ^^

Your thoughts and prayers greatly helped.

My last blog I stated I was going into the hospital for a triple bypass open heart surgery.

However, I never do things half way. When they opened me up they discovered I needed 6 bypasses.

Needless to say my surgery was bit more complicated than anticipated. I spent 8 days hospitalized before being discharged.

My youngest sister took a week away from work to assist me at home. Her assistance was greatly appreciated and made my return easier. Sis returned home yesterday and my daughter arrived today to help'

When I come out to my family, will I get invalidated (again)?

So, after a little more than a year of wrestling with the United States of America's really unfriendly immigration system, I was approved and I have my immigration package. I'll be heading there this Sunday to marry my fiance.

I don't know entirely what to expect at the border, but it's the last place I can be denied entrance. Naturally, I'm nervous but hopeful, any tips from anyone?

Well, I had my 2nd shift working for the new cleaning company, and so far, its been a mixed experience.

First, the good - I got a semi-promotion and have been given the responsibility for training our two newcomers and acting as kind of a on site supervisor. Plus, I must be doing pretty well at this, since my store has already been singled out as one with a high rating after the first couple days.

Now the bad - despite the less physically taxing job, I haven't had a reduction in my pain levels. In fact I was close to tears a couple of times last night.

The oriechtomy went well, but the spinal anesthetic wearing off is as painful as local from getting a filling in your teeth.

5:45 check-in for 7:45 surgery time. Was out before 11:30

gonna go lie down after I finish eating.

Some ten days ago it was agreed that I could collect all my remaining possessions from my former apartment on an appointed day.

That was today amd I should have guessed that a few things wouldn't go to plan. It started when no-one arrived at 0900 except myself and my uncle. I called the agency, left a message and got a call back after a few minutes - the usual agent was on his way but hadn't expected to be there today, there was a mis-communication between himself and the owner apparently. That was the first problem, as he arrived he suggested there was another issue.

I've been waiting for some good news and it looked at one point today that my waiting was in vain.

I had hoped that my prospective landlord would have made his mind up by now but that hadn't happened. While I was with him, however, my daughter turned up and then a man with a van arrived. I asked about renting the van for Monday morning when I need to empty the flat and he asked where it needed to go so I suggested the large ground floor living room at the vacant property. That finally prompted the decision - the place is ours!

Has anyone heard of Manifest Solutions and their LGBT non discrimination policy, I asked for their policy and this was the response. I want to know what their policy is, but I am afraid to ask specifically in case the paid internship leading to a job is withdrawn. I am not sure how to ask without tipping my hand so to speak, does anyone have any suggestions.

Hugs :)
Michelle

Equal Employment Opportunity and ADA

I feel like I owe my readers an apology. Its been more than a month since I published the last chapter of Mercy, and i cant even say I'm close to having the next one ready.

But pain, PTSD, gender dysphoria, and life stress have sapped my creativity totally, and so my progress has slowed to a crawl.

I'm so sorry.

Well everyone I'm back and as you might remember I lost my outline to my story Broken Phoenix(or so I thought) well it turns out I made a second copy of the file and stuck it on a thumb drive. Now I'm happy to announce that Broken Phoenix will actually be returning! No timeframe as of yet but it will be returning when I get back to writing it(which is right now actually)

There is a rally for trans rights today in Edmonton.

I wish I could go, but there is this whole "I need to work so i need to sleep" thing.

As authors, if we are going to be any good, perhaps we learn to sort of "be" other people since we must develop characters as we write a story and most often our stories have more than one person in them. As I have been thinking about this, perhaps lots or even most T folk learn to be more than one person in our real lives and each of them are very real. Then I thought about a police officer who must be an authoritarian figure at work, and when he gets home he is dad, hey you, or some such.

I've reached a point where pain is a constant factor in my life.

Worse, regular pain medications are no longer nearly effective enough for me.

As soon as I can, I'm going to book a visit to my doctor, to see what other options are available, but in the meantime, prayers and hugs appreciated.

Oh, I am kinda blocked on Mercy right now, so I dont know when more is coming.

Sorry.

Dear friends.

Thank you for welcoming me into the community here.

Heather has been a secret part of me for a long time, even when she didn't have a name or when I tried out several names.

You know similar stories. Buy. Dress. Hide. Shame. Purge. Then start again at some point a while later.

I will admit to a sex addiction but I never wanted this persona to be about that. It gets too intertwined. Been doing ok with the addiction part but it's too easy to slip back in.

It's a new week and in some respects not alot has changed. This is a long blog post!

My friend, Jenn C who is one of our Author's here was with her Mom when she passed at 0449 this morning in Texas. Jenn C is now resting after taking care of getting her Mom picked up from home to a Funeral Home. Jenn informed me of what happened earlier this morning and asked me to post this information on the Transgender Trekkie's page on Facebook. I did so because Jenn is my First Officer on the USS Jorgensen, NCC 1952 and I am one of the Admin's for that page. I also posted to Jenn's Starwar's Transgender Fan Page.

I've been helping with the field work on the Mammal Society's Dormouse and Conservation course. Basically, we, the helpers, assist the course participants in checking the nest boxes--showing them how to do it and making sure anything in them which could be a dormeece is kept in the box until everyone has a chance to see it. To do that we plug the hole with moss temporarily which has no effect upon the dormouse.

In the matter of:, MacKinnon, William Bryan

I, Michael J. Carey, Register of Probate at the Hampshire Probate and Family Court, hereby certify that after application and after due public notice the following persons changed their name as follows:

from: William Bryan MacKinnon to: Brianna Frances MacKinnon
which shall now be their legal name

:)

When the human world gets to be too much for me (which is most of the time, these days), I watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmf0KAHWlnk

Twenty minutes of pure bliss and contentment. Not a word is spoken, and yet they manage to say it all. If only I’d had parents like these? When my father gave me a licking, it never looked like this. If mom had this sort of patience and affection?

My eternal thanks to the clever folks who write video download software… :}