Previously

“It’s going to be alright.” That way of assuring someone that comes from more than just trite sayings, but a deep faith inside the young man that pushed past his own defenses to the surface just in time to console the girl. She buried her face in his chest; pulling away in fear and confusion over how to react and act and behave. He touched her cheek gently. Where in times past their loving had been tentative but forceful; this caress was meaningful and gentle and well-timed in the midst of the girl’s sometimes sprint and sometimes saunter in to new womanhood.
“It will?”

“Yes,” he said with a confidence that surprised him. The sound of the rain against the car roof had abated, and Carlo heard their exchange. He breathed a sigh of relief before glancing upward with a nod and smile.

After midnight at the hospital…

Liz sat in a wheelchair in the waiting room; feeling almost abandoned, with few folks around on what normally would be a busy might at the ER. A moment later she heard someone sit down beside her. Danny reached over and grabbed her hand. She shook her head.

“You must hate me.” Liz protested, almost expecting immediate absolution. Danny nodded with a half-frown.

“I have… I did for a long time.” His answer surprised her enough that she dropped the half-full paper coffee cup onto the floor. Danny retrieved a paper towel from the rest room and cleaned up the spill before continuing.

“I guess you don’t get it yet, Liz.” He winced at this own words. While he was used to calling people by their first names, it felt almost sacrilegious to call her anything other than Mrs. McKenna.

“I guess I don’t. What more can I say that I haven’t said already to myself, Daniel…. What else can I blame myself for? It’s my fault that my husband…” Her voice trailed off and Danny held his hand up.

“NO…you’re not going to go there…. Fuck…” His face reddened in embarrassment.

“Sorry…. But no, Liz. Your husband is in there…” He paused and pointed to the doors leading to the ER.

“Because he chose to be and say and do everything. You may have helped.” His rebuke surprised her as well; she almost expected him to let her part lie, but he wasn’t having any of that.

“Right now…taking responsibility for him once again? How many times did you look the other way when he literally bullied people in church to get what he wanted? But making excuses for him now doesn’t do a damn bit of good for anyone.”

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Hope in the intake cubicle closest to the door to the ER. He wanted to go sit with her, but in a moment she was ushered away by a nurse through the door and was gone. He turned to Liz and saw that she had begun to cry again, but something seemed different.

“You’re right.” She sighed and looked around.

“She’s gone for testing…I just saw them ….” Liz’s expression relaxed but she continued to cry.

“When you and he…” She caught herself, earning a relieved half-smile from Danny.

“When you and she were in middle school I thought it was just a phase. I didn’t dare tell Pat what you two were doing…I think….oh God….I think he would have killed the two of you.” She put her hand to her face for a moment.

“He was so….. We couldn’t talk about things at home. It was the church this and the congregation that, you know. Of course you know. As much as you….your Dad tried to talk to him but he was heaven-bent. And even if he didn’t know about you and Tim…I know she’s Hope, but you know what I mean…” Danny nodded.

“He was so angry. I think…. I know he blamed himself for….” As she spoke, her expression changed from sadness to angry and confused recognition; as if for the first time she realized what she had harbored in her own heart all along.

“He was driving when Heather was killed. The other driver was drunk, but Pat was the one who ran the light. That man …. He ended up going to jail when it was both their fault. Pat was so damned in a hurry all the time. Heather was supposed to go to a birthday party and he had an appointment with the board at the same time. Instead of…. He was speeding so he’d make his meeting in time….Oh God I’m so sorry.” She stared at Danny and he realized her apology wasn’t for him. She reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. Reaching inside, she withdrew a dog-earred picture.

“He’s never seen this….I couldn’t risk showing him.” The picture was of two little girls. Both seemed familiar; the vague memory of the older girl who ‘went away’ when he was little; never to be spoken of again, like a convenient plot line in a television show. The younger girl he recognized as Hope; the way she would have looked had that moment in time extended across her lifetime instead of beginning at nineteen. He bit his lip and choked back a sob. So much time wasted; so much hurt broadcast over an entire community for the sake of one man’s beliefs at the expense of the one in whom he ostensibly believed.

“I knew he was beating Tim…. He’d take…. They’d go into the back bedroom and I just sat in the kitchen. I think I even turned up the radio… Oh Jesus what did I do?” She looked back over at the door into the ER once again.

“You should hate me. It’s all my fault.” She repeated her self-accusation and Danny didn’t bother to argue, but put his hand on her arm. She looked at him; pleading for forgiveness.

“Don’t ask me, Liz. I’m not the one you need to talk to. I forgave you a long time ago, and I’ve tried as much as I could to keep forgiving you. But the hurt to me was over a long time ago as well. Carlo and I and Susan and Noorah and Lina all have gotten to the point where the past is past. But I can’t speak for Hope. She’s doing the best she can to be who she is, but she’s going to need her mother….She needs to know her mother knows who she is, and not just some fox-hole fucking conversion at the hospital.” Liz’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Don’t even go there….you know exactly what I mean. If your husband come out of this alive, you have to let your daughter know that what he did…what the two of you did was wrong. She’s all fucking giddy right now because you called her by her first name, Liz, but what if Pat doesn’t change? What if he still acts like he’s fucking God almighty and still treats his daughter like crap? What the fuck will you do then?” Danny was shaking and he blinked back angry tears.

“I know enough …. My friend Rami reminded me that you can’t forgive someone on another’s behalf.” He paused and put his hand on her arm and half-smiled in apology for the angry words that still seemed to hover over the both.

“I’m sorry for the …. I just….” He put his head down and Liz shook her head in question.

“You…you really care about her…” The immediacy of her words seemed to step aside for a moment as she recalled a time from the past.

“I gotta go, Tim, okay?” Danny’s hand lingered in Tim’s as he looked away; ashamed and embarrassed. Both boys felt awkward enough, but they had just taken it to a whole new if confused level. Danny turned and stared at Tim and forced a smile.

“I can’t Mom…I don’t feel so good,” Tim’s voice cried weakly before the sobbing resumed. Her child needed her more than at any other time in his life, and she just stood there in silence; a silence that would last for years….

“Liz? Are you okay?” She felt a soft tap on her shoulder. Lina and Carlo had returned.

“Oh…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry….for everything….” Something in her expression was different than before, and Danny smiled.

“Like I said, Liz….” He pointed to the doorway into the ER and continued.

“We’re all okay….” His smile turned half-frown at her expression.

“Danny? I know…. You and Hope….” There’s no way she could have known, but her smile seemed to explain.

“All along… I’m so sorry I didn’t ….. She…you….” It was too much to bear; still trying to hold up under the weight of the guilt she bore needlessly for Pat’s behavior while struggling to face her own faults and choices. Lina knelt on the floor in front of her and pulled her into an embrace. Liz began to sob deeply; almost from the core of her being.

“I know.”

Nothing more than those two words, but those words were more than enough to help mend the rift between two families; perhaps almost one family in a way as both emerged from darkness into light.

Twenty minutes later…

Everyone had settled in as much as they could as they awaited news. Carlo had grabbed a Cussler paperback from his car and was re-reading it for the third time. Danny and Lina were talking and Liz had gotten enough strength to join in the conversation. A moment later a nurse came up to them.

“Excuse me?” It had to be news about Pat, since there were no other people in the waiting room at that point. Liz looked up anxiously.

“There’s been a problem.” As everyone turned to face her, the nurse quickly added.

“It’s not about your husband…he’s stabilized. It looks as if they were able to save the other kidney after all. Thank God. It’s about your daughter. She passed out. She’s okay, but the attending decided to run some tests. She’s in the triage area.” Everyone stood up.

“I’m sorry….only family members….” The nurse held up her hand in caution. Liz stepped closer.

“She’s okay?”

“Yes…nothing looks serious; might be the stress of everything. But you can go see her.” Liz sighed in relief before turning back to the rest in apology; once again assuming a responsibility not meant for her to bear.

“Go ahead. We’ll be fine,” Carlo said. Lina nodded and Danny patted Liz on the shoulder.

“It’s okay…” He couldn’t hide the look of disappointment on his face; leaving Liz with a small if utterly life-changing decision to make. She nodded at Danny but turned back and spoke.

“I… I know you have rules, but please?” She took a breath and made the plunge into the reality that was her daughter’s life before continuing.

“Would it be alright for my daughter’s boyfriend to accompany me? I’m still a bit unsteady and I know she’d really want him to….” She paused and the nurse started to shake her head no.

“Please? They….they’re….” She paused one last time before finishing.

“They’re childhood sweethearts.” The last bit was too much to resist as the nurse smiled.

“Oh…that’s so sweet.” She put her finger to her lips and said at last,

“Okay, but it will be our secret.” In a moment the nurse led Danny and Liz through the doors and away. Carlo and Lina looked at each other with expressions that seemed to ask if they both just heard what they thought they heard. Lina stepped closer and put her right palm up, evoking a high five from her nephew.

“Son of a bitch…it is so sweet,” Carlo said as he wiped away some tears.

“Yeppers,” was all Lina could get out before she began to cry tears of relief. It was going to be okay.

Finally: The Greatest of These Is Love