Saturday 5th October.
It was lovely to see Richard this afternoon. I confess that every time I hear the sound of horses' hooves on the driveway, my heart leaps and I hope that it is he, but so often I am disappointed. Today, however, he did saddle his horse to visit and took tea with us. Of course, there is no chance for any private conversation between us, but at least we are able to speak to each other. He asked me how I was settling in to living at Oxford again, and had I completed any more of my sketches from the holiday in Keswick. I was able to show him a completed sketch which I had coloured with water colour paints which were invented by Mr William Reeves some years back. He greatly admired my work and said he felt that the colours are very delicate and that it was akin to some professional water colour paintings he had seen, which naturally made me colour. Of course, I can never sell my work, but I did promise to make another copy as a gift for him and although I did not say so in front of Mama, it would be in memory of the time when we first met. I'm sure both of us are well aware of that. Since Richard is again studying at the University, I cannot expect to see him very often.

Saturday 26th October
No visit by Richard again, and it is hard to hide my disappointment. It is three weeks since I last saw him, and the hours drag despite my attempts to occupy myself. I have now settled into life at Oxford again which I imagine is very similar to how it was before my sickness. On days when the weather is pleasant and not too chilly, I often go for a walk around the estate, sometimes with my sketch pad looking for inspiration. Mama has warned me against going too far from the house and to keep warm, as none of us want a repeat of the time when I became so sick. If there is a suggestion of a cool wind, I wear a pelisse in addition to my bonnet.

If the weather is inclement, then I pass the time reading, sketching, or practicing the pianoforte, where I feel I am making good progress, even using both hands to play simple tunes. Senor Clementi seems very pleased with my progress. I must confess that I sometimes find my life boring, and then I feel guilty, knowing that I live a privileged existence.

Today, I did something I have been considering for some time although I did not know what sort of a reception I might get. Papa spends much time in his private study which also contains his personal library. He refers to it as his 'sanctum sanctorum'. It is somewhere to get away from female twittering I am sure, although he has never said so, and it is generally accepted that when he is there, he is not to be disturbed except for matters of extreme urgency. As a young woman I am not allowed to be a student at the university, much though I would like to, but since I have an university professor for a father, it has occurred to me that perhaps I can study even though I can't be an official university student.

During the afternoon, I went downstairs to Papa's study. I confess my heart was beating faster than normal as I knocked softly on the door.

“Come in,” said Papa, and I opened the door and walked in. He was seated at his desk, with a book open before him and a quill in his hand, making notes. When he saw it was me, he stood up, perfect gentleman that he is, and I returned the compliment with a curtsey.

“Leonora my dear! To what do I owe this pleasure?” he said. “Come and sit down on the couch and tell me what is on your mind.”

Seated on the couch, I took a deep breath and began, painfully aware that my cheeks were glowing.

“Papa, I would not want you to think that I don't enjoy my life and that I am ungrateful, but I would like to exercise my mind more.” Papa raised an eyebrow at this remark, no doubt wondering what I had in mind.

I continued somewhat hurriedly. “I am very interested in the antiquities of the Middle East, something I have been reading about in a book in the library but only at a very elementary level. I know that you teach that subject at the university, and whilst I know that I can never be a student there, I am wondering if perhaps you have a suitable book from which I can learn more about the subject?”

Papa smiled. “Well, this is indeed new to me, but of course I will do my best to help with your knowledge.” He stood up and walking over to his bookcase and after a minute, selected a book which he brought back to the couch.

“I think this might be helpful to you as an initial source of knowledge,” he said, handing me the book. I opened the title page and read

.

I looked up at Papa with surprise. “You are the author, Papa!”

He smiled at me. “Do not sound so surprised my dear. This book is recommended to first year students at the university in order to give them a good background before they move on to more learned tomes.”

“And have you written more books, Papa? I am sorry if you have previously told me but as you know my memory from before I was sick has largely failed me.”

He smiled. “Yes, I have, but the students are also encouraged to study works by eminent scholars in the field too.” This was Papa being modest as I was sure that he was one of those ‘eminent scholars’.

“Thank you so much, Papa,” I said. “I will take great care of it. If I have questions arising from reading your book, may I come to you with them?”

“Of course, my dear. It will be a great pleasure for me to assist you with your studies. I have a small collection of ancient artifacts which I acquired during my visit to Egypt, and once you have read the book, I will be pleased to discuss their significance with you.” He paused for a moment then said. “I will tell you in confidence, never to be revealed to another living soul, but in my opinion, there is nothing rather than tradition that keeps young ladies from being allowed to study at universities if they wish to do so, and I'm sure this will come to pass one day.”

I smiled in turn. “I am sure of it too, Papa. Now I will not trouble you any further.” Getting up, I gave him another small curtsey, and he standing, gave me a bow, but then he stopped me.

“Leonora, it has not escaped my attention that you and young Richard d'Anglais seem to have formed a relationship. He is a fine young man from a good family. Do you expect him to make you an offer soon? If so, I would not oppose it.”

Blushing, I replied. “Yes, Papa, I have great respect for Mr d'Anglais; well to be honest it is more than respect, I confess to having hopes that he will make me an offer soon.”

“Excellent my dear. Well, enjoy reading my book.” He smiled and returned to his desk.

With that I left him to his books, went to my room and opened his book. I found it very well written and easy to understand. That is the mark of a true scholar.

Friday 8th November
Something amazing happened this evening. Papa bade us all gather together in the drawing room and take a seat while he related the story. Back in February, George, Prince of Wales was made Prince Regent, thanks to the ongoing indisposition of his father, the King. Some time ago, Oxford University had invited him to visit, and today he did so. First he was invited to partake of a magnificent luncheon, since it appears His Royal Highness enjoys a good repast. Indeed, His Royal Highness partook of most of the numerous courses, and it was over two hours before he declared himself well satisfied.

What happened next, was a total surprise, although not to all of those present. An announcement was made that the Prince Regent, with the recommendation of the University Council, was pleased to confer knighthoods on three of the University Deans, in recognition of their services to education, Papa being one of them. Someone produced a ceremonial sword and a cushion, and in turn the three men advanced to where HRH was standing and sank to one knee on the cushion, whereupon they were tapped on each shoulder with the sword and directed to arise as knights of the realm.

Mama looked as if she might swoon at this news. “Oh, Mr Bolton, I mean, Sir Robert, this is beyond belief!”

Papa smiled: “I assure you Lady Margaret; it is the absolute truth.”

Mama smiled faintly “'Lady Margaret!'. Now I'm sure I shall faint. Please fetch my smelling salts, Leonora.”

I hurried to comply with her request, fetching her vinaigrette, and after inhaling the vial for a few minutes, Mama seemed to be restored, although she was still murmuring 'Lady Margaret” in a faint voice.

Smiling, I said “Papa, does this mean you are addressed as Professor Sir Robert Bolton now?”

Papa smiled. “Indeed, it does.”

Emma, who had not spoken until now said “Does this mean you have to fight dragons, like the knights I have read of in one of my books, Papa?”

Papa smiled again. “If there are any dragons to be found in Oxford, then I suppose I shall.”

I love Papa so much. He could have made fun of Emma's question, but no, he treated her seriously and answered her question. I’m sure that like me, he regards her as the sweetest little girl ever born.

Saturday 9th November
News of Papa's elevation to a knighthood travelled quickly. This morning we received a vist by Sir John and Lady d'Anglais, together with Richard. They all gave Papa and Mama their sincere congratulations. I realised that since both men were knights bachelor, meaning that they did not belong to a particular order, our two families were now of an equal social status, and that surely had to be a good thing in promoting the union of Richard and myself. This made me extremely happy.

There was more good news to exchange; both Richard and my brother John had completed their final law examinations at university with great success. However, it was here that they were to part company.

Richard now has a degree in civil law and this entitles him to practice in the church courts, admiralty, probate and marriage, but my brother John wishes to become a barrister, something he confided to me later in the day. This would involve him studying for another three years at one of the Inns of Court in London. It also means that he will not be earning any income for that time, and in fact he will have the expense of living at the Inn and become effectively an apprentice to a practising barrister while paying for the privilege.

“I have to hope that Papa will be willing to support me for three years,” he said to me. “Once I become a practicing barrister, then I will earn a substantial income and will be in a position to repay him.”

John and I had become very close since my sickness and I did my best to encourage him.

“What you are proposing means more study, but I am sure that you will succeed, just as you have succeeded so well at university,” I said. “I'm sure Papa will view it the same way.” I paused as another thought came to me. “I suppose this means that you cannot consider marriage until you complete your apprenticeship?”

John smiled. “Unlike someone I know, I have nobody in view to marry at present and I must keep it that way.” He smiled at my blushes, put an arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. He really is the best brother that a girl could have.

It is fortunate for John that Papa has inherited such a large fortune and is able to support him since he has a brilliant mind and is certain to be successful in his endeavours. However, the final decision is Papa's to make and there is certainly nothing I could do to affect the outcome, rather than pray for a happy outcome for John. Papa's recent elevation to a knighthood will certainly aid John's chances of being accepted at one of the Inns of Court.

Monday 11th November
Excellent news. John has confided in me that Papa has agreed to fund his further studies in order for him to become a barrister. I always knew he would – well to be honest I thought he would. I gave John a hug and told him that I knew he would make a great barrister.

Saturday 16th November
Today was a very special day. Richard came to visit in the morning. It was obvious that he was very nervous and that he had taken particular care with his toilette. When he was shown into the drawing room where we were seated, I am sure Mama knew immediately what was on his mind. After sitting for a few minutes and exchanging pleasantries, Richard stood up and addressed Mama.

“Lady Margaret, I wonder if you would permit me a few minutes of private conversation with Miss Bolton?”

“Of course, Mr d'Anglais,” she replied. “Come Emma. I will be in the next room if you require me, Mr d'Anglais.” With that they both left the room. Emma looking somewhat confused.

Richard stood for a moment looking at me and I sat looking at him. Did he think I might refuse him? Nonetheless, the proprieties had to be observed and the question asked.

“Miss Bolton … Leonora,” he began. “I am sure it will come as no surprise to you to realised that I have developed a high regard for you, and I dare to hope that my feelings are reciprocated?”

Since he had not yet said anything which seemed to require a verbal response, I gave him an encouraging smile. Suddenly it all tumbled out of his mouth.

“What I mean to say is that I love you, Miss Bolton, err Leonora, and would like to propose marriage with you and hope you will accept my proposal.”

The poor man looked so nervous, I wasted no time in keeping him in suspense.

“Mr d'Anglais ... Richard,” I replied in kind. “It would give me great pleasure to accept your proposal.”

His face broke out into a broad smile. “Then I will seek your father's permission to marry you, as soon as it is convenient to see him.”

“He is in his study at present and I'm sure he would be willing to receive you,” I said. Then very quietly I added, since I was sure that Mama was listening hard at the door of the next room, “I do not think you have anything to fear from him.”

Indeed, at that moment the door opened, and Mama and Emma entered.

“Mama, Mr d'Anglais has made me an offer of marriage and I have accepted,” I said.

Mama's face broke into a broad smile. “I am so pleased to hear that, Mr d'Anglais. Perhaps you would like to speak to Professor Bolton? He is in his study, but I'm sure he would be happy to receive you.”

Richard smiled “Then I will seek his permission immediately,” he said, and Mama showed him to Papa's study door before returning to me in the drawing room. She hugged and kissed me.

“Oh Leonora I have been longing for this day for so long and I'm sure you have too.”

Oh yes, Mama!” I cried. “I’m sure I have loved Richard from the first moment I saw him at the Druids circle in Cumberland, and my feelings for him have only grown stronger since that time.”

I had no doubt that Papa would give his permission for me to marry Richard, which is necessary since I am less than one and twenty. About fifteen minutes later, we heard the door of Papa's study open and then the sound of him talking and laughing with Richard. They entered the drawing room and Papa said to Mama: “Lady Bolton, may I have the pleasure of presenting to you my new son-in-law-to-be, Mr Richard d'Anglais?”

Mama advanced towards Richard and held out her hand which he kissed. “Welcome to our family, Mr d'Anglais, or perhaps I may call you Richard now?”

“I would be honoured if you do, Lady Bolton,” replied Richard.

Mean while Papa walked over to me and kissed me gently on my forehead: “Congratulations on your engagement, my dear. You have found a fine young man and I'm sure you will be very happy.”

In all this scene of general happiness, I suddenly realised that somebody was not happy. I stooped down beside Emma whose eyes were brimming with tears and her lower lip quivering. I held her hands in mine and said, “What is it, darling?”

“Leonora does this mean that you are going to leave us?” she said, her voice quavering. I was not going to lie to her.

“Emma darling, when a lady marries a gentleman then she goes to live in his house, but never fear, I will come to see you very often, and you can come to see me and maybe even stay with me sometimes. Besides that, you will have two new sisters in Lucy and Sarah. You do like them, don't you?”

“Yes, I do,” Emma replied, sounding somewhat mollified. Seeing what was happening, Richard walked over and stooped down.

“Emma, you will become my sister when I marry your sister, and you will always be welcome in our house, and I hope we will see you there often.”

These assurances seemed to make Emma happier, and I gently wiped away her tears with my handkerchief. “On our wedding day, I want you to join Lucy and Sarah my bridemaids and be my flower girl,” I said, and this produced a smile on her face. I felt very relieved.

Saturday 23rd November.
Richard came to visit again in the morning, and now that we are engaged, it was perfectly acceptable for us to be alone while we discussed our wedding arrangements. We both agreed that with Christmas a little more than a month away, we should arrange our wedding in the New Year. We will spend a final Christmas with our own families and next year we will invite both families to join us in our home for our first Christmas as a married couple. Our wedding ceremony will take place in St Nicholas' Church, Marston which is where the d'Anglais family attend a service every Sunday. We usually attend a service in the chapel of Papa's college at the university.

After lunch where Richard joined us, his parents and sisters arrived in the afternoon to take tea and also congratulate us both on our engagement. We discussed with them our proposal for our wedding and received the approbation of both sets of parents. Papa also suggested that we have a New Year's Eve ball at Northbridge House for all our friends, where they would have the opportunity to offer their congratulations. You can imagine that this suggestion was most happily received by all the ladies present.

Monday 25th November
Recently I recorded how I was in danger of becoming bored with my life. How things change. Now I find myself extremely busy with a wedding to arrange. For a start, a suitable date must be selected, and Mama with a faint blush on her cheeks pointed out that the date must not coincide with my monthly courses as this would cause great inconvenience.

“There are other things that you must realise about marriage,” said Mama. “In good time I will reveal them to you.”

“Yes, Mama,” I replied, wondering what she was talking about. Kissing I presume.
It is decided that we will marry on Saturday 15th February, provided that this date is acceptable to both families. The banns will be read in both my parish church of St Nicholas in Oxford, and Richard's parish church of St Oswald, Grasmere. Then, there being no objection received, which we do not anticipate, the wedding will take place between 8am and noon on our chosen date. The families will then return to the Bolton house for a wedding breakfast before we depart on our honeymoon. I feel that I am getting excited already.

Wednesday 27th November
Papa being home and not requiring the carriage, he kindly allowed Mama and I to use it to travel into Oxford town in order to purchase new gowns. The air being chilly, we both wore a pelisse.

A very embarrassing event happened as we walked down the street. A very pretty young lady stopped us and said “Leonora, how lovely to see you again!” I confess that I looked at her in a puzzled manner to which she responded, “Do you not know me? Daphne, your dearest friend at school!”

Fortunately, Mama came to my rescue. “Leonora has been very unwell, and while recovered now, unfortunately has lost much of her memory of the times before her sickness, Miss Blandish.”

“Oh! I am so sorry to hear that,” said Daphne.

We were standing outside a tea shop where cups of the Chinese beverage could be purchased, so Mama suggested that if Daphne had the time, we should take tea and renew our acquaintance.

During the conversation we enquired about Daphne's present life and she replied that she now lives at home and occupies herself with reading, needlework and pianoforte playing, much as I have been doing. There was no mention of any young man in whom she was interested.

Mama said “Leonora has just become engaged to a Mr Richard d'Anglais.”

We both could not fail to see the blush which suffused Daphne's cheeks.

“Do you know the young man?” asked Mama.

“I was introduced to him at a county ball,” replied Daphne. “He is indeed a very pleasant young man. Her smile was a little forced, and it occurred to me that she was jealous of me.

“I hope we will have the pleasure of seeing you on our wedding day, and you can renew your acquaintance with Richard, I said to be polite.

Later, Mama said, “Do not be surprised if Daphne does not appear at your wedding.”

We passed a pleasant half hour in inconsequential conversation before parting ways, and Mama and I spent two very pleasant hours in a dress shop in order to select material for our new gowns. Mama said that it was not too soon to consider what I would wear for my wedding. I confess it is all very exciting.

At dinner, Mama asked if I was indisposed, and I had to assure her that I was quite well. However, later when I went to my room, I could not hold back my tears and Mama passing my door came in to ask what was wrong.

“Were you upset by Daphne today?” she asked

“It's not that Mama, I merely realised in conversation with her, that I have forgotten so much of what I learned at school. When I marry Richard, he is going to find me a very ignorant girl and lacking in intelligence or conversation.”

Mama sat beside me and hugged me, saying “Richard knows the effect that your illness has caused, and will make allowances.”

“I don't even know what subjects I studied at school,” I said.

“Well, there was mathematics, French, Italian, music and sewing. If it worries you, why don't we employ tutors who can teach you? I'm sure they could continue even after you are married.”

“Oh Mama, you are so good to me, but I do not want to put Papa to the expense,” I said. It is true, Mama and Papa have looked after me so well since my illness.

“Now, why don't you dry your tears and retire to bed?” she said, and I was happy to comply with her suggestion.

Saturday 30th November
Richard called on me today. Now that we are engaged, it is appropriate for us to spend some time together within the house. Like me, he is considering the many aspects of our marriage.

“Leonora, dearest, I have been thinking that we require somewhere to live once we are married. I have consulted my parents for advice and would of course defer to any suggestions that you or your parents might offer. Papa, Mama and my sisters intend to return to Grasmere after our wedding, so Papa has suggested that we might like to live in the family home, Marston House here in Oxford. This would save us having to buy furniture and engage staff and might assist you in learning the art of being mistress of a large house in later years.”

“That is very generous of your Papa and Mama, Richard. I confess that I was somewhat concerned about setting up a household for us. However, what will happen if they wish to come to Oxford in the future?”

“I don't foresee a problem, since there are six bedrooms for family and guests in the house, and several bathrooms; more than enough for us all. My parents say that it would be to their advantage if we consented to live in the house as a member or members of the family should be present, despite our housekeeper and butler being very reliable.

I cannot expect a man to realise that a woman wishes to be mistress of her own home at all times, and there seemed little doubt to me that if Lady Elizabeth was present, I would necessarily have to defer to her as the more senior lady present. However, Richard seems quite enthusiastic about the idea, and perhaps the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I certainly do not wish to start my married life with a disagreement on something as important as where we shall live.

As I anticipated, Mama seemed quite in favour of the idea, since I suspect she was concerned about how I would manage being a mistress of a house with no previous experience in the role. Papa was happy to permit her to make the decision on his behalf.

Since I had not yet visited Marston House, I asked if there might be a convenient time for me to visit in order to meet the senior staff members and also have a tour of the house of which I would soon become the mistress. This Richard readily agreed to.

Monday 2nd December.
Something very distressing occurred today. Mama and I were in Oxford intending to finalise the design of our new gowns, and as we passed the tea rooms, I happened to glance inside and there was Richard sitting at a table with a very pretty young woman, taking tea. I only saw them for a few seconds, and they did not see me since they appeared engrossed in each other and laughing. I felt as if a dagger had pierced my heart. Surely Richard was not being unfaithful to me already, even before we are married, yet there was the evidence of my own eyes. Fortunately, Mama did not see them, although she did later say that I seemed distracted while we were finalising the design of my wedding gown. Will I ever wear it? That seems unlikely now.

To be continued