Just finishing up another of Sarah Lynn Morgan's classics "Boy's School". Those of you who know me well, are aware that after my unwanted Divorce (The situation was much more serious than I will reveal) and all the fucking drugs that the shrinks put in me I had a very rough time, and was on a Psych ward 5 or 6 times. In my opinion the "Medications" only made matters worse, and only when I told the shrinks to go fuck themselves and STOPPED the drugs did my life begin to level out. It took years for my body to return to normal.

I'm rather tender on either side of my nether lips, and ointment for that is of limited effectiveness. I was looking for some loose legged underwear in satin perhaps. The catalog seems focused on "Sissy" and that is angering.

I just finished this amazing tale at 4:00 am this morning and feel completely "read out". I've tried to deduce what happened to the Author and I feel the outcome was dark.

I think that people should live their lives and never put themselves in the hands of Professionals. Such a talented Author too.

Gwen

There appears to be considerable activity in Texas where a group of people are persecuting transgender folk. Apparently a Federal Judge has gotten involved and I do not understand a thing about it. I'm blessed to not have any of that happen to me. Can someone explain?

Gwen

Looking for an old story where a man from the UK breast fed his child because his wife was ill or died of Cancer. Also looking for a story set in the St. Ives area of the UK.

I'm trying to remember a story in which a Van goes into a lake and something magic happens.

Gwen

The last time we talked on SKYPE you were not well, but recovering. Since, I have been unable to reach you. Are you OK?

Love

Gwen

Probably due to all the inactivity of the last two years from Covid and all, I am very ill with Cellulitis that has gotten quite serious. I'm not hospitalized yet but am on very strong Antibiotics and other strange potions. Not feeling well at all.

Just in case, I wanted to thank so many of you for being so kind and loving to me in the last many years. Thank you.

Merry Christmas and blessings to you all.

Gwen Brown

In about 4 hours, my 54 year old son, a Missionary, will be at my Apartment. We have not been on good terms despite my opinion that I do not agree that my belief does not condemn me. (Isa 56:4-5, and Matt 19:12) . I live as a woman and dress as such 100% of the time. I've even worked out how to ride my electric bike with an ankle length skirt on.

I could wear pants but my breasts are rather nice and too large to hide. I'm XXY and when I started Estrodial my body really liked it.

Pants, or no?

Gwen

Here where I live, perhaps 1 in 10 women wear skirts on the street no matter the season. It seems that T girls try harder and usually wear skirts. Why do we clock each other so easily?

In the time I've been out, I seldom wear pants, and if I do, I have Nursing Uniform pants that are very loose in the hips and wide legs. I own a couple pair of Jeans and can't remember when I last wore them. I'm sure that part of my hatred of pants could be owing to all the years I could not wear skirts perhaps.

Was just reading an article on BBC Internet that indicated a Transgender (MTF) woman was beaten, and handcuffed in Bangkok, Thailand. I had my SRS there in July of 2007 and it seemed that everyone was very friendly. SRS is still around $12,000 and here in the US it can go over $100,000. Sadly, now it seems that the neighborhood is gone to pot. (not weed)

Perhaps about 10 years ago, there was a multi Chapter TG story that was set somewhere East of Sacramento. I've looked at the map to refresh my memory, but no joy. Does this ring a bell with anyone?

Gwen

"Why didn't you warn me?" Hardy.

Just scanned "O" and am so sorry and feel so silly. I paid way too much for it, too.

For those who have not read it, consider yourself warned. It is a dark, awful and despicable pseudo story.

Gwen

I have a Medicare Physical next week where they test my Cognition. I am really frightened, and may cancel it.

Gwen

I remember Charlotte Church from when she was not yet adolescent, and her singing was wonderful. Her heavenly tones helped me to survive the really hard times, though I was still hospitalized a half dozen times. These days it seems that the tears of failure are cried. Blessings to you and yours Charlotte Church.

Gwen Boucher

It was there, and I do not know where it came from or where it went. I read it and liked it and was going to make sure that I commented but now it's gone. What?

I was wondering about Thongs; they seem so sexy, and even in my dotage my thought life...I want to be sexy. So I got a pack of 3. Even after letting one "settle" in, it was not fun, especially while riding a bike. Being my normal stubborn self, I did research. Female pelvises have up to 2" inches more space for Thongs, to facilitate child birth, and to make males think unseemly thoughts.

I haven't thrown them out, but it is unlikely one will ever find its way to my skinny butt again.

Naughtily.

Gwen

It's been really rough for the last year or two, depending. Am I the only one feeling weak? I know that lots of us struggle and I have the least right to complain of anyone I know. Can't even say that I am on the Spectrum, ADHD, or anything. There really is no excuse for the way I am feeling and I feel guilty about it. I'm not suicidal or even depressed at all, not one bit.

I was very late to learn to read and in the early 50s, the teachers I'd had were neither patient or gentle. A teacher I had in the 4th grade, instead of lecturing me, gave me a book that looked very interesting and sitting with a child's dictionary and that book I learned to read somewhat. The name of the book was 'Bull Dozer' and looking, a used copy of it on Amazon is $90. Later in the 7th grade, my teacher noticed my idle fiddling and handed me an encyclopedia to read. By the end of that year, I'd read them all.

To make it short and sweet, I hated men due to my early experiences with them, and I hated being one. The people around me never said I was manly, especially my wife of 38 years. Finally, I gave up and started trying figure out what living as a woman would be like. There are some good people around me, so I didn't do suicide because I didn't want to hurt them.

I don't know how other people adapt to today's reality, but for me, belonging to something or someone makes things easier. Over the years, since my Divorce and being abandoned I've tried a number of things, most of which seemed to work for a while. Some have been frustrated with me because of my penchant for getting involved in belief systems, and generally a Trans person can not satisfy them, or I could not. Both Christianity and Islam did not work out, though it seems that a branch of Judaism does.

No one to blame here. Just sitting here reading and was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of grief. No Drama or talk of ending it. Just wanted to say how much it hurts.

Had a wife of 38 years that got to drinking. Blame myself for not putting an end to that and getting her help. Two of my Children blame me for it all. One is supportive and loving.

I miss that woman powerfully and it hurts so much. I could never be man enough for her and as it developed, I wasn't a man at all. Just wish it could have been different though. Maybe the hurt will be gone in the morning?

For the delicate, read no further.

I've noticed the complete loss of any sort of physical sexual response when manually stimulating. It seems possible that is due to the increased development of scar tissue around the nerves capable of responding to such ministrations and not due to age. My Brain refuses to acknowledge the fact but there is some hope that reality will set in before too long.

I am more fortunate than many of you who will never get the opportunity to live as yourselves. For those who reveal ourselves willingly or accidentally, the cost is often rejection, exclusion, and emotional torture as if they pulled our fingernails out. Many years on, thoughts of the ones we once thought loved us but didn't don't come very often. Thoughts of ending it must be fought off but we trudge on in the hopes that the past will punish us less tomorrow.

Peace

Gwen