Gwen Brown

Goodness !!! What a delightful story

I thought I had done this entry earlier but once again my ineptitude with the Computer is confirmed.

I've been reading "Butterscotch" and believe it is perhaps the most delightful and funny TG stories I have ever encountered. I would say it is an intersex story but it remains for the author to confirm that. It is also on Patreon.

Enjoy.

Gwen

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Lead, Don't be Led.

In these days, the spirit of a mean selfishness has drawn us into being less than we once were. People are saying and doing things in public that their scruples once prevented. I'm not afraid to say that the stories and fellowship at this site have given me the courage to keep on, and to not end it. Yes, they saved my life and I have worked so hard to make my own life worth living by being an encouragement to others.

The stories I have loved range from soul tearing to so funny that at times I thought I might just split open from heart felt mirth.

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Computer and Role Playing Games

I am really, solidly unimpressed with Computer and Role playing games. YET the other night I saw Horizon Zero Dawn (The Movie) on YouTube and watched all 6 hours of it in one setting. I sat down to watch it at 9:00 PM, figuring that I would stop at Midnight. I was completely surprised to find the cake all gone, and my beer glass empty when the movie finished. It is brutal to try to get up after so little sleep. It felt like I had the Flu.

The Movie is soooo good.

Gwen

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The Hell of Solitude.

I didn't know it, didn't realize, was unaware that perhaps the majority of my stories include the protagonist being romanced by a strong, commanding man who is handsome, strong, and regal beyond all reasonability. In the reality of my own life, I am often frightened of men I encounter to the point of paralysis. Once in a while, a man will be gentle and shepherd like with me, and a flip occurs. I am left completely stricken with the need to be obedient and held affectionately, not allowed to flee in terror. Those encounters are in my dreams and upon awakening, bereft sadness floods over me.

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Demanding I resume Psychotropic Drugs.

Into full on whining tonight, sorry. It's been 13 weeks of Quarantine and it seems a bit excessive. If I do go out for groceries, or to take a break, it is strict face covering, goggles, and head cover. Yikes, I look like a Saudi Arabian Niqab wearing woman. As it is for all of us, being isolated in my apartment can be quite wearing, but overall I have been doing rather well, aside from frequent Ocular Migraine Headaches. These are not painful but a bit incapacitating, they are.

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Bicycles with Fangs

Having shopped for groceries, I put them in my Paniers, and attempted to mount my steed when she shrugged and disbalanced me, causing me to fall to the pavement. To further emphasise her displeasure with me, she sank her fangs into my right ankle causing it to hurt just awfully. So humiliated was I that the pain caused me to mount her once again, this time with considerable vigor and I sped off down the street. God, my ankle hurt so much!

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Completely Despondent

I am drained, absolutely, but am not going to use the word.

Stupidly got myself involved with yet another Mental Health person, and I thought it was going really well. Then she also began to involve a second year Medical Student. I've been feeling some frustration and over the weekend, and later, hours after a phone session with the Med. Student I became tearful, and have remained that way for days.

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Plausibility in stories

In many/most of the stories I read, even the so called, historical ones, the burden of proof is often not satisfied. But if the tale is reasonably well written, we can like it as entertainment. That goes for written work, and movies.

A point of confusion for me, the movie, "The Good Shepherd" by EM Forster was very good, rivetingly so. I thought that he was a veteran of the Navy. Much to my surprise, he was simply a good writer. He also wrote, "A Room With A View", one of my favorite stories ever.

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Even After All These Years...

Dedicated to the One I love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M7gKZqgHn4

Reading Admiral Krunch's, "Being Christina Chase" once again after all these years is so very thrilling! In some parts I find myself bouncing in my seat like a child. I wonder what has happened to him and I do hope that he is doing well. I think his skills are great enough that he could easily have moved into writing his own published works in another venue, and I do hope that the years have treated him well.

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The Geek that becomes a woman

I'm looking for a story about a long haired, Computer Geek who starts to drive his car over the mountains and wrecks in a storm. Kind, helpful Russian Immigrants pick him up, and mistake him for a distant female Cousin. They get him cleaned up and all the mud off him and get him into girl's clothes and all that. Later she meets a Lawyer who falls in love with her, and you know where it goes from there.

I thought it was AA that wrote it but it appears not. Oh, it was Christina Chase!!! but who wrote it?

Gwen

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Internet Down, Disturbance In The Force?

Without warning, Google, You Tube and some others are just gone. I tried a hard reboot and nothing. Much to my surprise, I have been able to get on line using MS EDGE. I think I saw a snipet about this but I ignored it at the time.

Is this permanent? Does anyone know what is happening?

Thanks

Gwen

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Writing an honest Female Character

For over 10 years I had a Phd Psychologist at the VA who I thought at first was a help. Then I realized that she seemed to suck my brains out at each session, and then to sift my consciousness and finally put it back in. One day, I finally understood that and on my way home decided that I'd had my last session with her. I went almost a year without a counselor, then one afternoon, walking up the street realized that there was no reason to live.

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Stories That I Like.

I've spent 99% of my time in my apartment since the last week in February, and when I do go out I look like a Niqabi with my mask, helmet and long sleeves. There is no idle conversation on the street. My expeditions to the street on my bike are to make an effort to prevent blood clots in my legs, and the resultant Pulmonary Embolisms that I've been warned about. Most Doctors don't talk to me because of my refusal to take their drugs.

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The Good Old Days

I just finished "Emily", and before that "Boy's School" by Sarah Lynn Morgan. I'm saving "The Gift of The Unicorn" until last. I love sweet, romantic stories, perhaps because there so little of that in lives. I've been pleased to sigh with longing, to giggle with mirth, and to nearly swoon at sweet moments.

The last I heard from Sarah is that she'd missed out on a job with NASA, and was heartbroken. I wish her well and hope that she is pleased with life and that there were bright spots.

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Nez Perce care

I've followed "Trials and Tribulations of a Girl" for quite a while. A while back, I was talking with the wife of a Nez Perce Native who works here in Portland. I mentioned to her that I'd been doing research on my own Heritage and think it is Apache, or Navajo, but could be Cherokee. Oklahoma where my GrandParents were from, has 39 different Native American groups in it. My Spirit favors Navajo, but none of us know for sure. I told her that I thought I was Two Spirit and when she talked to her husband, he told her that I would be seen as totally normal in Nez Perce culture.

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Please Take Care Of Yourself.

Coronavirus.

I urge you all to be very proactive about your own Medical Selfcare. Drink lots of water. If you smoke, perhaps cut back a little? Avoid crowds. If you see a NIOSH 45 mask, buy it. If you can, wash your hands a lot. Weak Coffee rather than Iced Drinks.

So far, I am "well" for me. I am COPD, and a bunch of stuff. I have good inhalers and use them. I live very close to two Hospitals and have been self isolating for over a week. Please be careful. I love you all.

Gwen

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Too Much For You?

I've had a dream, a very vivid, and erotic, and at times, impossibly lewd one. It was so clear that when I wakened, I was not sure I was awake, and not sure that it had not really happened. For me, the dream was impossibly powerful, realistic yet so very improbable to me. I'm frightened to write it down and publish it here.

In working on it, the story keeps changing shape in front of me. It is a mix of things I've experienced and heard, and perhaps things that I hope no one ever must experience.

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Google Announcement this Morning, 2/26/2020

Not sure I interpreted their lengthy announcement correctly, but from what I saw, I doubt that I'll have an issue with them. I just try to be doubly sure that I haven't copied anything I have "seen".

There is an outfit that collects Photos for Facebook, and I think it is clear that if you have put a picture on the Internet, or anywhere on any Computer, this company will deem that it belongs to them. I do have a half dozen picture of my badly bruised hindquarters that got that way when a man, who was texting, rear ended me. No one is going to pay to see my butt. LOL

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Making Sense Of It.

Early on, in childhood, I suffered enough physical violence that continued for 14 years, from my Stepfather to now have severe PTSD, to include dissociative episodes and panic attacks. I'm 72, divorced, and actually had surgery to change from male to female as much as possible. I was not "transgender", but did not know it then, and am Celibate now. I just wanted sexual feelings and lust to end, to be over, to be gone from my life. Forever.

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Peckish Tonight

We've all been together here for just yonks, so you know that I'm not going to harm myself, so I think it is safe to say that I am feeling so low tonight that I can't see out of my shoe tops. The weather here is awful, about 6 degrees and fairly pissing down. I would bundle up and go out for a walk about, but my lungs hurt so I feel trapped inside.

I was just sat here contemplating calling the crisis line and tell them I just need to talk, no need for drama or the plod.

I took a Dementia test friday and am not pleased with the results.

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Dangerous Fault in Win 10

I am not sure that I know enough about this to comment. I am relaying what I saw on BBC, about a notice that American NSA put out. Apparently there is a security issue with a .DLL file that Microsoft is scrambling to fix.

Microsoft has been in touch with me, saying that I did not pay for Windows 360, so I have to prove I did. This may cost me $200. I go in tomorrow at 11 AM to see what can be done.

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Another Microsoft Lie.

I have this file called "ideas" and I free write there to see if anything comes of the present idea. So, today I was working there and then I realized that what I was writing was far too BDSMish. and explicit. So, I took a nap and when I got up, I still felt that way, so I deleted that part of it, about 4 pages of smut. HMPH !

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Death Of A Princess

Death of A Princess
By Gwen Brown:

I lay there looking at the clock. 5:30 AM. Pretty late to get to bed. I decided to try to doze for a while. Sleep was just carrying me off to the den of Morpheus when the house phone, not my cell rang.

“Charlotte, I know it’s been a long night, but you need to come down here.” Corporal Johnson said. I couldn’t get angry at her, she would never call me at home, when I was off, unless it was like Armageddon. “OK, see you in 20.”

Your Heart, See Your Heart.

Downton Abbey has always seemed far too stern and tacturn for me. I've seen little snippets of it but always backed away to avoid the painful seriousness. For reasons unclear to me, I felt drawn to it yesterday, and rented the first episode of it, and am watching it in little bits.

I can't work out why or if the people were actually that inhuman to each other.

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Walking with Dinosaurs

I've had these insane thoughts flitting through my head about a person, or family that finds themselves living with Dinosaurs. I haven't worked out if it is a time travel story, or if they were on a spaceship that took them there. The more I study, I am not sure IF present day humans could live at that time because of differences in the Atmosphere. And I don't know if the soil of the Earth of that day is terriformed enough to support plants and animals that humans can eat? I haven't worked out a premise for how any TG content could happen. And, I haven't written a thing yet.

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A New Slant on Things.

I received some frightening news.

In the 15 years I've been this way, I tried to be a girly girl. Yet one time a woman said that she thought I was a Navy Seal. Another woman thought I'd done Black Ops. Not even in heels and a pink dress was I girly. :( Lately, I've decided that the transgender stuff was bunk, but there is no rewind. So now, I'm just ME, and that's fine. Still not wearing pants if I don't have to !!!

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These Surgeries Still Happening.

Some of us are old enough to have had surgeries to correct sexual organ issues, and did not know until later. The story came out later for me and I had to piece bits of circumstantial evidence together until the pile got too big to ignore. Later in life I found out about my genetics ... The conclusion I came to is that the Doctor had taken me in another room and done a radical Hysterectomy. I found out that I spent a while in the hospital after I was born but not what for.

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The General's Son...

I don't know the exact title, but this story deals with a General who puts his son in a private school and he comes out as his daughter. It could have been a Military school? It could have been one of Nancy Cole's stories, and perhaps she reworked it?

At any rate, I have not found it and it is likely that I'm not getting the details right.

Ideas?

Thanks

Gwen

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NON Software Computer Audio Issue

This is an appeal to the Geeks here:

When writing, I will often listen to music on my Computer. That has been seamless and trouble free, but with the new Google, YouTube, and Facebook policies things have changed. It is now common that I am listening to Music at lets say 3 db, and suddenly the volume will jump by 6 or more db for an advertisement. This is very distracting.

I've tried software volume limiting before but they somehow defeat that and it is not easy to manually adjust.

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Mahu

There is a current article on CNN about the Mahu ("Third Gender") . The revealed injustice is angering to me because those who try to control the Transgender conversation have got it all wrong, in my opinion.

The Native Americans have something similar (Two Spirit) (Not the LGBT one) In Southern Iraq there was a marsh tribe that treated the gender nonconforming as normal. Children could adopt either gender. No surgeries, or hormones. Can't remember what they were called. In India, I think, they have Hijra.

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Whateley Academy or maybe not.

I've got an idea flitting around in my head that has revived an old story line that died out for me a long time ago. I have no idea if anything will come of this. There is no magic, no gender, not anticipating interfacing with Whately, though my character may very seldom perhaps visit the place on the way through the area for a cup of potion with one of the folk there. If my mentioning the name of the school, is an issue, I'd likely just not name it. My character might hate rules, love chaos, and rebel against authority, not that this character does anything to promote chaos very often.

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I should like to read this once again.

I have no idea of the story's title, or of the Author.

On another planet far away, men are vying for power, and one of the opposition gets zapped with a mysterious device that sends him far away, to another planet, a primitive one. The man emerges on this planet buck naked, and transformed to a woman. In a few weeks she finds that she is Pregnant. Fortunately, she emerges at a temperate time of the year. She learns to kill her own small game, avoid being eaten by a predator, and learns to catch and cook her own fish.

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Don't Fall For The Bum's Rush... Detransitioning

At times being out and post operative as a transgender woman can be a "Hard Knock Life", filled with desperate emotions.

A genetic woman I know has been a good friend for nearly a decade, and lately she has started listening to "Candace Owens" and her "Walt Heyer" Videos. She is driving me nuts in trying to use his nuttyness to get me to change my life. In my opinion, Candace is in the video making racket to make money, and he's gone round the bend, perhaps into Dementia?

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How To Fire A Full Sized Coal Burning Steam Locomotive

Perhaps I have been kidding myself in thinking I don't actually like men?

I can't actually figure it out. Maybe he could be my Daddy? I never had a proper one. :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foneS2GhpUg&t=342s

He is actually a Fireman on a Steam Locomotive. You don't actually see the picture when the Video is playing, but it is the little picture that shows before you click on it.

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Fan Fiction from Games or Books

A recent story here reminded me of one from an Author that published one about 8 years ago, and then they disappeared. I do not want to pop any bubbles or offend any sensibilities, so I won't name the Author nor Story Title.

The Pique of my curiosity "peaked" to night so I decided to see what happened to that Author if I could. After searching for too long tonight, I think the story came from a Sci Fi Book as Fan Fiction, or perhaps from a Video Game.

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A Helpless Puritan

I'm discouraged and do not seem able to cure it.

I was just reading a very interesting discussion that I had been taken with, but as soon as they crossed an unseen line, I was finished reading it. It feels awful to condemn someone's work just because they crossed a conceptual boundary for me. At least I know it is there, but as to changing my mind about it, that seems unlikely.

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Plagiarism ???

I THINKI once started a rather offbeat TG Alien Sci Fi story, and lost it when my laptop got stuck in the trunk when we were moving to Ohio from Oregon. The temperature was 104 degrees at times and the poor thing just fried. Everything I was working on was gone. Recovery efforts were futile. That was in 2009.

I suddenly remembered said tale a couple weeks ago, and am rewriting it now.

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Humans Not The Dominant Species Of the Universe.

Just finished up the restarted, "Twice Removed", and it is still echoing in my synapses.

The other day I watched an old movie, "Starship Troopers" and was disappointed. Apparently they decided to rework it in 2011, and they made a right muck up of it, in my opinion. The first movie was intact, but the others were not recognizable. The Videography was dark and they strayed from the original plot line. What a mess. I wish they'd left it alone. It was childish and immature but fun.

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Perhaps Stealth Is Better?

I've been "out" for 16 years and really out for about 10 years and never been bothered. It does not seem credible that I could have looked so female that no one twigged to my being T?

In the last week, two sites that I go to, one of them Facebook seem to have gone completely perverted. I've always run a low "friend" count because I don't think that people I don't talk to at least by PM are my friends. Facebook is only suggesting folk who are porn queens, so I have unfriended so many folk. Don't intend to be mean, look at what you want to.

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