(aka Bike) Part 1042 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
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They allowed us to take Billy home around tea time. He was still very sleepy, and Simon carried him to the car, wrapped in his jacket. I sat in the back seat with him and cuddled him.
Stella had collected the girls by the time we got home, so we had a reception committee. We put Billy to bed and they each agreed to sit and watch over him–which wasn’t one of my best ideas. We had to move Trish–she thought watching over him meant he should be awake and watching back.
Danny wondered what had happened to Billie, as he came back dressed in pyjamas, instead of more girly wear.
We opted for the official line, that Billie had mistaken some pills for sweeties and it had made him ill and he needed to go to hospital.
The evening seemed to fly by and I ended up tucking Billy in before I went to bed. Danny was fast asleep in the bed next to him, and as I kissed them both and went to leave the room, Billy woke and smiled at me.
“How are you, young man?”
“Tired,” he yawned.
“So am I, kiddo–so I’m off to my bed. Goodnight.”
“Night night, Mummy. Oh Mummy...” here we go I thought–but I was wrong. “Mummy, I saw my first Mummy while I was asleep an’ she’s not cross with me–she liked my letter, and she said I was in good hands, with you an’ Daddy.”
“Oh, good–I’m really glad you talked with her.”
“An’ she said she doesn’t mind if I’m a girl or a boy so long as I’m happy.”
Tired as I was, I couldn’t pass up this chance to continue healing the rift he’d imagined between himself and his birth mother–I sat on the edge of his bed. And we spoke in whispers.
“Did you give each other a hug?” I asked him.
“Oh yes, she liked my summer dress.”
“Did she?”
“She told me that if she’d known I liked to wear dresses, she’d have bought me one.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Yes, she was nice and she told me I wasn’t to blame for her dying.” I could see tears forming in his eyes from the light over the stairs.
I hugged him and he began to sob, “I miss her, Mummy.”
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” I held him and rubbed his neck trying to soothe him.
After a little while he seemed to nod off to sleep and as I tried to lay him flat, he clung on to me and whispered, “No,” so I stayed there, almost asleep myself. Finally, he sighed, “I love you, Mummy,” and curled up and went off to sleep, so I made my escape and crawled up to bed.
I’d been there an hour, Simon was reading while I changed and cleaned my teeth. “What took so long?”
“Billy woke up and wanted to tell me a few things.”
“Like why he overdosed?”
“No, Simon, he’s nine years old–not nineteen. No he was telling me he talked with his real mother while he was unconscious. It was really sweet.”
“I thought his mother was dead.”
“She is, but that doesn’t stop us talking with them.”
“I thought you were a rabid scientist.”
“I am.”
“So how in your Darwinian view of the universe could he talk with his deceased mother?”
“Does it matter if it all happened in his delirium? If it gave him comfort–then it’s sweet.”
“Oh, I agree entirely, I just wondered how you’d sidestep your own prejudices to explain it.”
“What do, you mean?”
“Well, in your reality it couldn’t happen.”
“Yeah, but we’re not talking about my reality, it’s Billy’s we’re discussing, and if that allows him to talk to dead parents, that’s fine with me–after all, I spoke with my mother in a dream at least once or twice.”
“Did you, or did you imagine you did?”
“Probably the latter, but it doesn’t worry me one way or the other.”
“Surely one way leads to sterility and the other to a massive change in belief?”
“Nah, I’ve nothing to lose either way.”
“How come?” He gave me a very questioning look.
“Oh, c’mon, Si, it’s nearly one o bloody clock. I am shattered.”
“You can’t answer it–that’s fine with me.”
“Refusing to answer it on the grounds that I might damage your belief system isn’t the same as declining before I decline through tiredness. Good night.” I switched off my light and snuggled down in bed. He was left spitting feathers. Thankfully, I fell asleep before he thought of a suitable answer.
I walked towards the young woman. “You’re Billy’s mum, aren’t you?”
“Yes, so are you, aren’t you?”
“Only because you’re unable to do it, I hope I’m doing it as you’d have liked to do it yourself?”
“You’re doing it differently because we’re different, but you do it with love and that’s all that matters. He’s very fond of you, you know.”
“He misses you dreadfully.”
“I know, but you’ll get him through it.”
“I hope so, but I don’t want to replace you in his heart.”
“You won’t but he’s got one big enough to accommodate both of us.”
“I’m sorry about the girl stuff, but he did ask me.”
“That’s okay, he always was a bit of a girl and it’s better he tries it now and abandons it than regrets it for ever after.”
“What happens if he doesn’t abandon it?”
“Oh you’ll cope–you’ve done it before, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I suppose so. What happened with his uncle?”
“I have to go, take care of him well, won’t you?” Before I could respond she was gone.
I woke up with a start. We’d been talking in the lounge, which was where I was now–sitting in my nightdress on one of the sofas. How on earth had I got there? I must have sleep-walked. That is creepy. I glanced at the clock–it was three in the morning. I shivered.
On the way back to bed I checked on all the kids–they were all fast asleep. In a matter of moments, I was too.
Normally when I remember dreams, it’s because I woke up during or just as they ended and my conscious mind kicked in and conveyed them into memory. This time, I did wake up soon after, but also that I was somewhere other than expected to be, the lounge not my bed.
If I were of a fanciful nature, part of me could argue that it was so I would remember and think about it all, including her claim that it was okay for Billy to become Billie if it was going to make him happier.
It didn’t make waking up the next morning any easier though–I was absolutely shattered and I suddenly remembered, it was the convent’s speech day on Thursday, it was Tuesday today–oh poo, I’ve got to organise a speech and stay awake while I give it!
Comments
No Cliff
Another enjoyable chapter. Thank you and not even a cliff in sight.
Michelle B
Maybe not for you
But Cathy sounds frantic! If she does a job she likes to do it right.
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1042.
Can't help but think that Cathy's Blue Light allowed Billy to meet his Mum and for BOTH of his Mums to meet. The Blue Light just might be able to heal Billy of his trauma and help him to choose who to be.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Funny that...
...Billy's mum should disappear just when Cathy reached the part where she asked about the uncle.
Why do I have the feeling that we haven't heard the last of this scumbag? As I've mentioned before, not only does he need to be held accountable for his actions, but someone needs to check that he's not molesting other children.
Thanks A&B: it's going to be interesting to see how Cathy manages to reconcile her scientific and supernatural ideas.
Pseudo Science
Bike Archive
Bike Resources
Whether it is true or not
Whether it is true or not that we can communicate with those who are deceased in some manner; I do agree with Cathy on her comment that as long as it satisfies the person who is communicating, why should anyone else care. If seeing, talking with, and hugging his real Mum; and this all helps to heal Billie/Billy, who cares if s/he imagined it or actually had it occur? Jan
It seems
even in dreams, Cathy cannot get all her questions answered, It was almost as if Billy's mum was ashamed of what happened to her little boy and could not bring herself to face up to it...Interesting also to see Billy's mum attitude to Billy becoming Billie, Maybe that has pointed out to Cathy, That what will be, Will be....
Kirri
Going places.
Well Billie/y seems to moving in the right directions, (Note I said directIONS!)and Cathy seems to have co-opted some very special help.
I don't know how or even if dreams work cos I either never have them or I never remember them. Clever people tell me that I have them but don't remember them. I have to acknowledge their convictions but I don't necessarily have to believe them cos I just don't know! Fortunately or strangely or what-ever, it doesn't seem to bother me.
My wife's explanation is much more prosaic and nobody gets closer to me than her. After sharing the same bed for 34 years she knows exactly how I sleep so her observations are probably the most valid.
'You don't sleep properly darling, so you don't go deep enough to dream.'
I wonder if Billie/y's'talking to his mum' was a genuine dream or 'the light at the end of the valley of the shadow' thing.
Let's hope that Cathy at least, get's to hear from Billie/y's mum again cos there's stuff back there that needs to be answered and explained.
I like the idea of Cathy's abilities surpassing those of the 'trick cyclist's' (Never trusted those bastards!)and it's really good for Billie/y to have Cathy on side.
Still loving it Angharad.
Love & Hugs,
OXOXOX.
Beverly.
A pleasing, warm chapter
Let's see how this works out.
Cefin