Comedy

Deadpan Detectives: The Pattern

Originally posted: 2005/05/24

This started because of comments in Aechel's blog. :)

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Deadpan Detectives:
The Pattern

by Erin Halfelven

Broken Echo

Five nested stories form one overall tale! Spanning different genres and time periods—fantasy adventure, romantic comedy, suspense, and more—there's something for everyone as each story delves deeper into the themes raised by the one before, with unexpected consequences as each resolution echoes back into the overall tale. Fun, thrilling, sexy, and smart!

If The Shoe Fits

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“Alex. It’s just one night. No one will ever know but us. Please, I’m begging you, do this for me?”

I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I didn’t nod or shake my head. I just let Lara slip my athletic socks off my feet and, one after the other, slide the high-heeled shoes into place.

They fit like they were made for me.

 

IF THE SHOE FITS...

by Meancat

Shifter Sister - Part 4


--- The White One ---

(Blanche P.O.V)

Dragging Liliana over with one hand I reach out to Sabrina to get her attention but she seems to recognise my touch and turns around already talking to me.

“Blanche! I am so happy, look at her!”

“Seems like you have melted the iceberg, huh?”

“I did not believe Ally and look at us now!”

I can do nothing but smile, overwhelmed by her cheerful radiance.

“Come, darling, let's find a slightly quieter place for a moment,” she says.

The Shut-in Santa Doesn't Want To Work

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What happens when Santa doesn't want to work? Well, he has to. Who'd deliver the presents then?

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December 2017 Christmas Dreams Story Contest Entry


The Shut-in Santa Doesn't Want To Work
A story about a Santa who doesn't want to be a Santa.


By Shiina Ai

Shifter Sister - Part 3


--- Learning to Care ---

(Blanche P.O.V)

We manage to find all of the other winners, being there during the transformation helps since I know them all at a glance. Liliana seems to be getting more comfortable with her own situation after every meeting. Seeing other men passing for attractive women and showing her own body was not abnormal or something to be ashamed of. I forgot to make plans for tonight due to my exhaustion and the nap so we head back to the hotel when the issue of dinner is raised.

Shifter Sister - Part 2

--- Preface ---


Part of the original collaboration involved choosing a make-over photo from a selection as inspiration for the characters. The picture I chose ended up becoming Blanche so I also had to go and find one for Lili. I didn't know how to do pictures on this site last chapter so here are the images for Blanche & Lili.

Shifter Sister - Part 1

Blanche is a bored shifter looking to indulge in her hobby for photography. Collin is on holiday in America when he is caught up in a make-over contest he was not supposed to be a part of. If beauty is skin deep, then how do you judge someone with scales?

Traps Are Delicious But They're Not For Cooking

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Hi, I'm Rin. When the school I went to went bankrupt, I had to find another school to go to. The only choice left was a school that is so full and crowded, there's hardly any room to breathe. So with only one week left to change schools, I had to do something drastic. I picked the only other choice left, which is an all-girl's school. By the way, I'm a boy.

- This is the alternative route from the base story, Traps Are Delicious. But They're Not Edible is Shira's romance route. But They're Not For Cooking is Zara's romance route. Hope you enjoy this story. -


Traps Are Delicious But They're Not For Cooking
A story of a boy's life in an all-girls school.


By Shiina Ai

Blackmail!

The woman I was interviewing for a job at first gave me a very good impression. In person she confirmed her CV. Competent, decisive, with a no-nonsense getting things done attitude. Perhaps a bit aggressive but for the position in question that was not necessarily a problem. In fact everything went well until she noticed that I was wearing a bra. I should have known better. Never wear a colored bra under a white shirt, even if it’s the most exquisite turquoise.

Jugs

Charles Edward Fitzgerald, CEO of Jugs (America’s #4 casual dining restaurant) slammed his fist down on his desk. “What do you mean, you told them I would do their moronic show? I gave you very explicit instructions.”

His secretary Francesca shuddered. “I’m so sorry—sir,” she hastily added.

“Don’t apologize, just fix this!”

Cross Race Destiny Part 2

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16 year old Seki has always dreamed of travelling the stars. He has always wanted to experience first hand the adventure his ancestors went through when they left Earth. And for that, he needs to win the annual Trappist Interplanetary Race which will determine if he will be able to take part in Trappist Empire's Second Deep Space Expedition. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Cross Race Destiny Part 2
To win the race, I'll do anything!


By Shiina Ai

First Impressions

Mac was—well, “obsessed” would be to put it unkindly—interested in a rather particular art: the vocal impression. Since he was eleven he had been practicing voices: cartoon characters, celebrities, even his parents. But there was one wall he always ran up against: he couldn’t do female voices. It didn’t help that his voice had changed at a relatively young age. But it wasn’t just that: he also just felt too embarrassed. It felt like he was doing something… wrong.

The Imitation Game

The Imitation Game
By Vilastis

“STOP IT!” Cassie yelled at her infuriating younger brother Caleb.

“STOP IT!” he yelled back.

She really hated when he did this kind of thing. And her parents didn’t fucking care. Even though he was fourteen now they still saw him as a cute little kid.

“Seriously, stop it!” She clenched her fist.

“Seriously, stop it!” He clenched his fist.

Cross Race Destiny Part 1

witch.jpg  

16 year old Seki has always dreamed of travelling the stars. He has always wanted to experience first hand the adventure his ancestors went through when they left Earth. And for that, he needs to win the annual Trappist Interplanetary Race which will determine if he will be able to take part in Trappist Empire's Second Deep Space Expedition. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Cross Race Destiny Part 1
Being a spy is always glamourous, but never clean.


By Shiina Ai

TG Techie: Chapter 3: Alien

Alien

Joann stood as well and came over to my bedside, “You haven’t eaten for about a week, so I don’t know what the doctor wants to do, but it’ll be at least a day before you’re on real food again. Do you want me to get you a Popsicle?”

“That would be nice. Did anyone find my backpack?”

“It’s in one of the cupboards, would you like it?”

“Please?”

She went over to the cupboards on the wall and fished around until she had my backpack in her hands, and brought it over to my bed. “Do you want cherry or orange?”

“Cherry please.”

The Vengeance of Dr. Rhino

Originally posted 2005-02-08

Sometimes getting even just isn't enough for a supervillain

The Adventures of Dr. Rhino, Supervillain

Revenge!

by Lainie Lee and Erin Halfelven

 

Swap at Failure (one page RPG)

Swap By Failure is designed as a one-page pen and paper that has all necessary rules to play it on just one page. For this game, there is no general setting, but I recommend a normal non-magical world on the height of our current civilization and normal everyday people as player characters.

Identity Crisis: The Lavender Scare

Bear witness to an epic battle of snark when the astonishing Prodigious Girl encounters the enigmatic Lavender Scare! But is this mysterious new super a friend or foe? And what happens when an inscrutable force meets an incredulous object? Learn all this and more inside! Totally not just a weak excuse to share pics of me cosplaying as Prodigious Girl! (A tale of Faraday City.)

11th Sun: Chapter 29: Solace

“Do you feel guilty?” Dr. Jordan is having a fruit smoothy for her breakfast. I’m dinning on ashes and cold pizza.

“No.” Of all the feeling I feel, guilt is not one.

“Why not?”

I know she’s trying to be helpful so I do my best to explain, “If it was another gun runner Tinoct would have been in the same place, doing the same things.” Getting the same shot. “I don’t supply people who have the odds with them, or I wouldn’t have a job. He was a revolutionary. Not the first to die, not the last, not even the middle.”

“Could you have saved him?”

Cinders and Ash

When a fairy godmother takes a wrong turn, an angry young man gets swept up in his very own Cinderella story...but this isn't a dream that he'd wish would come true! (Inspired by artwork by Dov Sherman!)

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A Bit of Filthy Lucre Perhaps?

Some Filthy Lucre Perhaps?

I thought that the world situation required a bit of insanely comic relief, and I'll admit to having had some very "head banging" things happen to me; all, erm mostly, without drugs or other intoxicants.

The Black Ring IV

Direct sequel to Black Ring. Jack(y) is still struggling with her sexuality and her relationship with her husband, Chris. Jill contemplates having a child by using her sister-in-law, Sarah, as a surrogate mother. Jacky and Jill work to reconcile their differences while co-existing in the same body at work and in the home.

DMGC: The Department of Magical Gender Change

When magic spells are cast, some are very specific, but others are vague on the details. If a wizard changes a man into a lovely maiden, he might decide what the new woman looks like and how she's dressed. But what happens if the change is triggered by a magical object, or an ambiguously worded wish? Who determines what standard of beauty to use? Who determines what clothes she's wearing after the transformation and makes sure that it's color-coordinated? Who decides on her hair and makeup? Or imprints skills she may need for her new life? They are...the DMGC.

A whimsical and sexy romp with fairy magic gone awry and their frantic efforts to put things to rights!

11th Sun: Chapter 28: Firefight

It’s been 36 hours. The hold is nearly empty, and the flood lights are back on for the second time. I know Tinoct has slept, and I went down for around six hours early this morning. I don’t think Hakho or Chinta has slept.

We’re ahead of schedule. The last of six convoys is here. The last truck is getting loaded. There are too many people to work on the last stack without getting in the way, so Hakho is supervising the last team.

I have a Mr. Coffee plugged in in the control bay, and I’m pouring myself a cup when Chinta comes over and rubs my shoulders a little bit.

Blue Moon - Worldwide Kindle Sale!

 

On the night of the Blue Moon, the Devil in Drag walks the Earth granting wishes and causing trouble.

Two young roommates deal with moonlight, music and magic in a gender-bending,
heart-stopping, romantic romp through Hollywood.

Blue Moon

11th Sun: Chapter 27: The Convoy

I bolt upright in bed to the sound of the red alert klaxon. I guess the question of what I can face will have to wait because there’s an emergency somewhere on my ship.

Chinta is several steps away from awake as I rush out the door to find Tinoct. He’s standing in the corridor next to an emergency panel, and he manages to look a little sheepish. “I didn’t know the best way to wake you.”

“Coming to wake me up would be a step above this.” I put in the captain’s code to shut it off, “What’s going on?”

“The police are on their way to shut down the festival.”

11th Sun: Chapter 26: [XXX] Massage

I get a text when I step outside. It’s a selfie of Chinta, posing in front of a statue made of diapers. I think that means I should meet her near the statue made of diapers.

I look around for a statue made of diapers, then put my phone into the face of the nearest passerby. She nods like she’s seen it, and adds an expression like she’s seen everything. She’s young. It’s cute.

I give her the closest I can get to a “where is it?” expression, and she points further into the maze. I don’t even try, just set out in that general direction.

11th Sun: Chapter 25: On the Rock

“This is Big Bertha,” I tell the aliens, “And she is a beautiful lady.”

We get inside and I give a small tour. There are jump seats outside the flight deck and I show them how to strap in. Urban and sophisticated Tinoct has never flown before, and an ancient freight hauler, loosely bolted together, is a great way to have a first experience. Then I tell them to hang out in the rec room while I run checks. I’ve had to turn off everything at the port, but we aren’t leaving gravity so it’ll only take an hour.

A Second Chance at Love - Chapter 1

My Mum never used to cry, but now she does it all the time. She cries for the big things, and the little things. She cries during movies and TV shows, including the commercials, and even cries when she can’t open a jar of pickles. Personally, I blame the hormones. They’re a shock to the system, and she’s still new to puberty.

This morning I found her in the kitchen, literally crying over spilled milk. I bent down with a handful of paper towel, and helped her to soak it up. She looked up, chuckled, and gave me a knowing smile.

11th Sun: Chapter 24: [XXX] Boiler Room

Dinner is yucca again. I’m feeling things about seeing Sacti, but she isn’t there. I’m worried, but this is a hotel so I put it out of my mind.

This time Chinta comes back to the room with me. I smell the sex in the room, which leads me to the thought that I desperately want a shower. I shed my cultural costume with a little bit of no idea what I’m doing.

Chinta immediately fastens onto one of my nipples, and murmurs, “I’ve been waiting so long to get you out of that,” as I cradle her head. We end up tangled in bed together.

11th Sun: Chapter 23: Lunch

I doze off for around two hours. After the day I’ve had, and the sex I’ve had, I deserve it. I’ve literally been fucked comatose.

When I come to I manage to take stock of the room. I was paying attention to other things earlier.

The decor…

Stumbles Of Love Part 4

Seeing Erin oh so casually bring forth that little flame, then snuff it out, showed that there did seem to be magic still in the world.

She and Erin sat in the kitchen at the gorgeous oak table, chatting over cups of tea just like many often do in the early evenings.

"I've been wondering, Erin," Stasia inquired, "Just how long have you been able to do magic?"

What A Troublesome Ghost

Ghosts are real. Some even have special tricks. Like transforming a man into a woman.
Kristine was hired to pretend to be the owner of a manor where such a ghost is haunting.
Her company has a deal with the ghost. They send men and the ghost - Mabel - will send back women.
That was the plan. But lately Mabel isn't performing and it's up to Kristine to fix it.
If she had known what avalanche she would step loose she just might have run far away.

11th Sun: Chapter 22: [XXX] Alien Sex

This makes sense, I think to myself. Whatever is happening here makes sense. She pins my wrists against the wall at shoulder height. Why not let her…

But my surprise keeps me from kissing her back immediately.

She pulls back. “I’m so sorry! I was just… it felt like… ” She’s blushing a pretty blue color.

I don’t feel like going from make out mode to embarrassment, so I stretch out my neck for another kiss. Chinta makes a little growl, and slams back into me.

A Fatefull Meeting

Eight years ago Barry visited his first anonymous gender-bender meeting.
Thanks to it, it was seven years ago that he last succumbed to his urges.
For the past two years, he had taken over as the host.
Now he prepares for another meeting and this time one of the newcomers might just endanger Barry's carefully guarded track record.

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