The train was pulling into the snow-covered station. The smoke from the engine was puffing into the grey clouds. It looked like another round of snow was coming in. I was wondering how I was going to arrive home. I was hoping that someone would be able to come get me. I was on my way home after a long absence.

I debarked from the train and took down my suitcase and made my way through the station looking for my transport home.

“Charles, over here!” I heard someone shouting at me. I looked in the direction of the voice and noticed my best friend, Ben.

“Ben, how are you?”

“Your parents sent me over with the horse drawn sleigh to come and get you.”

I looked forward to getting a good chance to be reacquainted with my best friend. We unfortunately grew apart over the years that I left my hometown.

I followed him out of the station and climbed into the sleigh. It was great seeing a bob-tailed nag again.

We settled in and he started the horse, on my way to my old home. It was with a great feeling of longing that I was on my way home.

Here is the classic song I heard in my head during the sleigh ride.

Jingle Bells

It was with a great feeling of happiness when I entered my parent’s house. I was in the foyer and saw the winding staircase up to the second floor. I announced myself but it seemed my parents were out for the moment maybe meeting my brother and sister. I went into the parlor where we usually put up the tree. I wanted to make sure the presents I sent ahead had arrived.

There were many presents under the tree. I checked the labels to make sure mine were there.

I smelled a wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen. It smelled like pumpkin pie, and a nice big dinner roasting. My mother always made the best homemade pies, and I was longing to dive into it.

I made my way into the family sitting room and sat down to wait for my family to come home. I was so looking forward to talking with them all. Christmas was still a few days away.

Here is a song that fits my mood for my arrival home.
I'll Be Home For Christmas

Later that night, the snow started to fall and accumulate. It looked like we were going to have a white Christmas. I was looking forward to it, as I hadn’t seen one in a long time.

Christmas morning arrived and the family gathered around the tree. My parents, my brother and his family and my sister with hers.

I was elected to hand out the presents, and I retrieved them from under the tree and distributed them to the family. As I was handing them out, I noticed that my pile seemed strangely enormous, like I had an excessive amount of gifts.

My mother got up and put the Bing Crosby Merry Christmas album on. It was the album that she grew up listening to as it was my grandmother’s favorite album. It made me feel so nostalgic listening to the warm tones of Bing Crosby croon his way through the classic songs. But my favorite part was when the Andrews Sisters joined him. I just loved to hear their harmonies.

We took turns opening the gifts, my mother got the stand mixer she always wanted from my father. Then my father opened his gift, and it was the power tool he always wanted. We were a traditional family, boys received stereotypical male toys and/or tools, suits, socks, male underwear. The girls received home economical supplies, feminine dresses and lingerie.

Then it was my brother’s turn as he was the eldest child, then it ran down his family members. Then it was my sister’s turn as she was the middle child, then down her family. Finally, Wit was my turn to open my first gift.

I took one of the biggest boxes first. It was wrapped in this gold metallic wrapping paper. I opened it carefully, I was always methodical when opening my presents. I noticed a hint of robin’s egg blue. I thought that was odd since most of the clothes I received were duller in color. I reached in and pulled out a very beautiful dress in a delicate shade of blue. I was very puzzled as I thought I had kept my secret longing hidden so well.

“We always knew you were our second daughter, love.” My mother and father said together. “We figured it was time to get to know her.”

We opened the next round of gifts and I received a fancy and complete set of lingerie in a baby blue to go along with the dress I previously received.

As we opened more and more gifts, I received a whole wardrobe fit for a princess. My mother stated that my old bedroom was going to get a makeover with a beautiful bedroom set in white with a very feminine vanity. I received so much make-up that I couldn’t wait to experiment with putting it on. I was so happy that my family was so welcoming. I was so afraid that they would exile me over my desires.

Just then the phone rang, it was Ben inviting me to go out on a sleigh ride with him. He surprised me when he stated that he wanted to see me in my finest new dress, the blue one.

We sat down to eat, and when dinner was over, I went up to my room and put on my new dress, and its matching lingerie. My hair was long, as I was letting it grow out as I had intended to come out. Now, it was sped up a bit, but I didn’t mind.

I was ready just in time, when Ben came knocking on the door.

Here, you choose your version of Bing's White Christmas. The first one is the 1942 recording and the second is the 1947 recording.
White Christmas 1942

White Christmas 1947

I climbed into the sleigh, well to tell the truth Ben was a gentleman and helped me into the sleigh.

He started the horse gently and we set off with the jingle bells tingling merrily.

“I am glad to see you as you are love. I always knew you were very feminine. I have always wondered if I would get to see the girl I knew was in you.”

“What name do you call yourself, en femme?”

“Carlotta, I love the variation of my male name.”

Carlotta, I have a confession to make, I have always loved you, and would like to get to know you better.”

I agreed to a date later this week with Ben. Just to see how things were going.

Another appropriate song for the way I felt.
Sleigh Ride

We went out to a very expensive restaurant, as Ben wanted to make the first date very special. It was a very delicious dinner and we talked about ourselves, what we wanted in a partner, and I felt myself falling for him. I always knew he was a very sweet, and romantic guy.

When dinner was over, and it seemed to quickly to me, we agreed to go out on more dates. He convinced me, to give up my job and apartment in the big city and move back home. My parents also wanted me to move back in with them. They stated that they wanted to get to know their new daughter better.

I agreed to give it a try and see how things went. Things moved on over the course of the next year.

Ben and I grew closer together. I was really falling in love with him and he with me.

One year later Ben was taking me out on a sleigh ride. The scenery looked very beautiful all covered in snow. The snow sparkled in the sun like diamonds.

We rode along together, in companionly silence. We were taking in the gorgeous landscape. He turned down a deserted country lane. The bare, ice covered trees sparkled like crystal.

He stopped the horse and reached into his pocket.

“Carlotta, my heart feels so full, and I would like to know if you would do the honors and become my wife.”

I nodded my head and he pulled out this beautiful diamond and sapphire solitaire ring. He slid it onto my ring finger on my left hand.

It seemed to me that the scenery glowed brightly. I felt like I was walking on air. I was so incredibly happy. I was so happy that my family loved me enough to let me be the me I had kept hidden for too long.

Ben started the horse, and we went on our way to my house. The rest of the drive was so very beautiful and romantic, sitting in a sleigh built for two. The horse’s clip clop sounded through the quiet ride, as we wound our way home through the snow-covered lanes. I am a very happy woman, being with the man I love. I never thought I would get all that I dreamed but I did and I am such a lucky woman.

We got to my house, and I invited him in so that we could give my family the news that I am engaged. We went into the sitting room where my whole family was gathered and told them that Ben and I were going to get married. My parents were thrilled and couldn’t wait to plan the wedding as they said it was the parents of the bride’s duty to plan and pay for the wedding.

My sister wanted to be my Matron of Honor and Ben asked my brother to be his Best Man as he was very close friends with my brother.

And to think it was only a year ago, since I got the gifts that started me on the path of life that I always dreamed to be on.

I am so grateful to have a family that accepted me and encouraged me. I feel bad to those who are transgendered and don’t have that support. If it wasn’t for my family providing me with gifts that they did last year, I would never have been brave enough to start on the path to becoming the woman I dreamed about becoming. I am truly loved by a wonderful family and a wonderful man.

I am looking forward to adopting the children I wanted and to live a full and happy life with Ben on his farm. I look forward to being his companion and mate in life, making our lives happy and complete. I think that is the best role a woman could have.

We will always enjoy the Winter Wonderland that was ours.

And a song that expresses these feelings so well.
Winter Wonderland

Note: The songs are videos I have made from my actual records that I converted to digital, myself so the records are scratchy sounding but I think that is part of the charm of the old records. And they are from my YouTube channel.