A Muddy Mess - 5 Spinning World of Changes

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A Muddy Mess -5
Spinning World of Changes


By Jessica C


My big mess now are the feelings…
And romantic emotions with Harrison and Prom...
=^_^=

That day at school was good, but I was distracted by the thought of going with Melanie to the Deter’s home as she took care of her Aunt. I had dropped off an outfit for me as Danica at Melanie’s before we went to school. It was an orange skirt that looked fairly plain as did the blue and orange blouse that coordinated with it.

Silly me as a boy I wondered what boy would pick an orange skirt and that blouse. Melanie finally understood it was bothering me, so when we ate together at lunch. “It might seem silly for a boy to wear what you chose, but it’s Danica who’s going to be wearing it. I think it looks cute on Danica.”

After school when we got to the Deters, Harrison’s Mom complimented on how cute the outfit was, asking, “Did your mother or Melanie pick that out?” When I told her it was me; she said, “I see you already have the eye of a girl in picking out what you’re going to wear.” I was not fully comfortable with that thought.

Come five o’clock I was helping in the preparation of cooking supper when Harrison got home. Once he was changed his mother sent me to look at his sports collections. His Dad had always doted on him taking him to various games and meets and ended up buying him sports paraphernalia of stars and teams. Harrison at 17 already had an extensive collection that was interesting to browse through.

Harrison said, “I guess my Dad knew he wouldn’t always be here and wanted these things to remind me of his love. I think, he also did it so guys would like and accept me despite my being gay and hopefully not beat on me.”

We talked and I asked if he has ever gotten beaten up because of that. I hadn’t known those things happened. Harrison told me, “It first happened when I was eleven. I won a stuffed kitten at a ball toss game and I called it Evie. They teased me that was a girlie name and that a boy would have chosen a puppy. I acknowledged I liked soft things. Two boys beat me up and after that, some people began to call me names more often.

He said, “But being gay wasn’t a bad thing to me. That was when my Dad began explaining things to me. Mom explained I had a very caring heart for a boy and the way I liked people and things were different. I still get in fights at times. Sometimes they say isn’t always because I’m gay but often it is. It is more about them being in denial.”

He began to cry a little and leaned over to hug him. I fell in his lap and he laughed.

“Why are you laughing,” I asked?

He asked, “Are you gay?” And I became upset because I had told him before I’m not gay. He said, “But if someone saw you in my lap they would say you are.” Harrison hugged me, and I thought of pulling away but I didn’t. Instead, I stayed there as he showed me other pictures and things in his collection.

I even realized that he had become aroused. It felt strange but I remained quiet and where I was; we looked at his collection until we were called to supper. When we stood up to go eat he thanked me and kissed me.

When we sat down to eat he told his mother and Melanie, “I guess I found another girl I like?” They paused not quite understanding until I blushed.

It was seven-thirty and we went back to Melanie’s house that she commented. “Well is it time for us to begin looking for your prom dress? Or do we need to wait until after your date?” I still had my time with Mrs. Deters and seven more days before our date to go to the baseball game.

=^_^=

I liked my time with Mrs. Deters, but she treated me more like a regular girl instead of talking to me about Harrison’s stuff. She asked me, “Have you ever massaged your mother’s shoulders or back?”

When I said yes. She hesitated until I asked if she would like one and she cried yes. I began massaging her shoulders, I realized her shoulders and back were a mess of tight knots and sores. I was using as light touches as possible, often using the palm of my hand to massage a wider surface. I knew there was some hurt, but more soothing. She talked about how some friends had stopped visiting as she got sicker. She said I was good for her as well as Harrison.

She and I had cooked the supper that Mrs. Sinclair had sent with me. Here I was becoming a better cook as Danica. It felt good and I liked the time being treated as another woman. My mother, like Mrs. Deters, enjoys having Danica around. I am liking it more and more.

Harrison was home for dinner but it was her who had most of my attention. Harrison hugged me and kiss when I left, but I justified that it was for being nice to his mother.

=^_^=

Another day when my mother picked me up with Melanie from their place. Melanie and my mother told me that Teresa, a senior girl from our school was wanting to go shopping with us.

Teresa was waiting for us at my house by the time we got back. When she saw that I had been doing things and was not quite fresh. She spoke up, “You need to shower and get cleaned up before you go trying on any prom gowns.”

I hadn’t planned on trying on gowns, but Teresa’s point was correct. My taking barely an hour was a rush to her and Melanie, but enough for them to be accepting of Danica. Mom checked and made sure that I had glued on my breastforms and fresh panties before we left the house.

We had seen three gowns or dresses we like but I had not tried on one. That was when Teresa spoke again and my mother agreed, “You need to try on one and then more so we can see how they look on you.” Teresa had me step up on a small platform and a saleswoman measure me. They determined I would be able to try on size four or six gowns depending on the style.

I wasn’t supposed to hear when Teresa whispered to Melanie, “He’s lucky he’s not a girl or I think Harrison’s dick would split her if she was a girl.” I was grossed out and Melanie knew by my facial expression that I heard the statement.

Melanie said, “That’s girl talk just in case you thought we’re ‘just sugar and spice, and all things nice’.”

The first gown I tried on was silver with several blue swirls that accented my curves as if I had them. It would not make the final round of selection, but it was pretty and nice to try on. I liked white with various colors adding to the look. It was after the second such gown; Mom said, “You’re neither going to be a bride nor are you neat enough for predominantly white.” Sadly I knew what Mom was talking about. It was a little while later that Melanie found a soft coral gown with a chiffon overlay. I loved it and it became the first of four gowns I was to set aside. It was beautiful and I loved the feel of wearing it.

We went up to three o’clock looking and my trying prom dresses and Teresa returned the gowns not selected. There it was a pink and lavender gown. I really liked it and I had Melanie send a picture of me in it to Mrs. Deters. Ma Deters text, “You look exquisite like the gown was made for me”. That was actually very close to what Teresa had said when she found it. It cost me fifty dollars to have it held for me. That ended our search for tonight. We were chatting away as Teresa and Melanie sent some pictures to other friends as we rode back home.

It was ten-thirty that night; I was sitting on Mom’s bed with her talking. “Mom, I think I’m just fooling myself if I don’t accept I’m also a girl.” Mom opened her arms to hug me, knowing it was a truth that wasn’t coming easy for me to admit.

=^_^=

The next day at school people was looking at me like there was something different, even more so as the school day went on. Finally, Melanie’s old friend Susan Reid said, “Now that it’s out, why don’t you just come to school as a girl Timothy?”

Some of the photos sent out the night before had made the rounds and had numerous hits. Melanie and Harrison both thought I was acting especially cool. When really I was clueless that others were coming to know about me and I was the talk of the school.

It was Teresa and some of her friends who pulled me aside to talk as the last class of the day was to begin. Teri said, “You probably have seen Beck, Halle, Meg (Brother Brien’s girlfriend), and Steph. We want to talk to you about the prom, but don’t worry it’s all good.” Once others get to classes, they have me follow them into the girl’s room.

“Now that it’s out that you’re going to the prom with Harrison as Danica. We encourage you to come to school as Danica now so it’s not a surprise or taking away from the prom.” Megan speaks, “We even want to take you shopping after school and help get you some school clothes. This way you’ll have more practice as Danica in doing your hair and makeup. …You and I can ride with Teresa to your house. You can change into Danica and then we can go shopping.”

I am looking around and have the feeling this isn’t even a discussion. I say, “I’d need my Mom’s approval.”

“We’d have an hour shopping even before she might first be home. Brien is pretty sure your parents will be okay with it. He doesn’t see it as drastic as you going with Harrison.”

I say, “But, that’s as a favor to Harrison and his Mom. What you’re talking about is for me living as a girl.” I become silent as there are two different pictures of me as Danica being shown on their phones. Meg gives a warm hug holding my arm, “You’re becoming more and more Danica. It’s you that said you’re not gay but a T-girl.” Megan says, “Your brother is the like rest of us, seniors. We don’t want the prom or our senior year hijack by a media circus. …We care about Harrison and no one wants to stop you from being there for him. …I would have thought you’d like the help of us girls encouraging you to be a girl. We even got a nice amount donated to help get you some good clothes for your school wardrobe.”

Megan knew I have a crush on Halle and her. I have their cheer pictures and more on my locker door, and around in my room. My portion of my room is more in girl mode and she knows it. Halle whispers, “If you want, your friend Melanie can come with you. Though I think it’s Sue who has a crush on you.”

My surprised look told them that was news to me. Sue and I are just friends, but my dream as Danica is that someone like Melanie or Sue would be who I fell in love with.

I wanted to get to class, but now it is way too late. Teresa left the girl’s room first to get her stuff to meet me at my locker. Megan came with me to my locker. I love her outfit and look, and I’m excited to be seen with her. The school bell rings to end school. Megan and I meet up with Teresa and Melanie going to the car.

All Melanie says as she smiles at me, “Isn’t this exciting?” I’m sandwiched in the back between Melanie and Meg as Halle is sitting up front with Teri.

When I got home. My brother Brien was already there and he pulled me away from the girls. “Mom says, ‘It is okay to change and go with the girls. If in fact, you are wanting to be Danica until the end of the school year. But you need to know; it is not permanent. Mom and Dad and the counselor will continue to watch you.”

I was excited and started to walk away to my room. Brien blocked me, saying, “Do you understand?” I had to explain what he said. And then he told me. “Mom says, you’re to get the basics on, before Meg, Mel, or anyone can come into the room help you as Danica.”

I used the breastforms I got for the prom gown. Without help attaching them, they were less than their best. I had gone to my room and knew I needed a shower before I went shopping. It was short and not the best but I felt like Danica.

Meg had been in my room and put clothes out on my bed. I smiled, liking what she had chosen for me. She even pulled out a special pair of panties and a nude pair of pantyhose. The skirt she had out was one that I liked. While it was shorter it was not short like hers.

I was soon wearing the panties and pantyhose and the lace bra with my forms. I told Melanie that she and Megan could help me. Halle came in with them asking me to relax.

It was funny because Halle was distracted by how girly my room had become. She said, “Thanks, I like the picture you have of me hanging up.” When she saw a picture of me stuck to my mirror with my makeup on trying to look like her. She said, “Cute, but I liked better the way you looked last night. You do better with finding your own look.”

That is how Meg helped do my makeup. I was surprised by how flawless and light my makeup was. She said, “Watch, I think this will be another good look for you. I want to thin out and work on your eyebrows, but not now. Let’s get going.”

Meg kissed Brien, the others wooed and we were gone. We were soon at the next small city over on a block of chick stores. Megan said, “Halle doesn’t regularly shop here but us girls without her means do when our ‘rents aren’t buying as much.” She said the spring stuff had been picked over but we could find some good things at bargain prices. The better clothes were for summer.

First up they pushed me toward designer jeans, but Halle and Teresa spoke up. “She looks better in skirts for now… She has the legs for it… When she’s more relaxed as a girl maybe jeans then.”

There were a dress and a skirt outfit that was snug and clingy that Meg, Halle, and Melanie liked as well as me. Most were regular skirts and dresses with light sweaters or tops. I had just tried an outfit and we liked it. Halle however asked, “Can we try it with just this sweater?” We all agreed but I guess I didn’t understand what she meant. I head back to the changing room and once in I try to close the door. Halle’s in the way and pushes me a half step forward.

Halle says, “I need you to take off the top and then your bra.”

“But it won’t look right my forms won’t stay on,” I said as I took off the top. Halle helps taking off the bra. She takes the forms and asks me to sit still on the little bench. She marks my right chest saying it looks good. He takes my left breast form and puts it up to my chest and outlines the form slightly different than the marks showed where they were press by the bra. She pulls out a jar from her purse and spreads the mixture over my breast area. Then painstakingly presses the form in place. “Hold your boob please.” With that, she spreads the adhesive on my right breast area. She takes a deep breath, “Take a breath and then hold still until I say so. They are nice forms, do you like playing with yourself? Don’t answer just hold still.” With that, she checks four marks on my chest matching them with those on the breast form. She checks double checks acts like she’s taking another breath. But she has started to press from the side and top, moves slightly, and checks the top to the inside mark guiding the edge of the form as she presses it in place and begins holding it in place.

“Meg, can you please squeeze in here.” Once she’s in, she takes the lightweight sweater and prepares to put it on over my head. “Now Danica gently let go and pull your hands away and to your sides.”

Megan says, “I don’t know how you do that Halle.” Megan gently rubs her fingers along the edge. There’s one spot that could be better but everything is great.” Halle has me let go of the other boob and is checking.

I am lifting my hands and I’m to put them through the arms of the sweater. It is coming down over my head and my arms feel like they are going through the softest of cotton. It is no sweater like I felt going over my body. I know it is sliding over my boobs and I wished they could feel the sensation that I’m feeling elsewhere. My arms are down and I and Megan smooth it out and make sure there are no wrinkles or flaws.

Halle moves away from the mirror in there. “Hey Danica, do you like this look? I think you look awesome.”

My mouth mouths, ‘O M’ and I see two breasts pushing out my sweater. I love a girl with this look, but like Tim, I made sure never to stare as much as I want to. Halle holds a vest for me to put my arms through. It just hangs there framing my breasts and down my side.

Halle opens the door and softly, yet loud enough for others to hear, “We’re coming out.” Megan and Halle step out first and move to stand with the others. Even a saleswoman and two other teen girls are watching.

Everyone is silent as different faces of awe and amazement come to their faces. Finally, Melanie steps forward holding out her arms for a hug. “Oh my Danica, you are awesome like this.” I am sure the other two teen girls are wondering why all the attention. “Look, Ariel, she’s not wearing a bra. I’d die to do that.”

I guess it is special. I’m in awe that I’m able to do it, but I feel like I’m too out there. I want to turn around and go back to the changing room. Halle says, “Oh no, you’re going home and showing your Mom how much of a girl you are.” She hands Steph the price tags, “We can pay for everything now.”

I can’t believe it as I place my purse strap over my head and it falls between my boobs. I see in a mirror how I look like most other girls. I’m definitely younger than the seniors and my breasts appear smaller like soft pillows, my nipples show as pretty dots. I hear some phones click pictures other were too quiet but I can tell Mel’s sending some.

She looks at me, “I sent two one to your mom and Jodi. I hope you don’t mind.”

I ask, “And who else?”

Meg volunteers, “Mrs. Deters, Harrison, and a few friends.” Several phones go off and people are either talking or texting.

Melanie has my phone, “Your mother wants to talk.” She hands me my phone. I was afraid I lost my mother’s call, but she’s still there. “So how are you? I couldn’t fully tell from your expression.”

“I know, I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know they would do it. …Halle attached them to me in the changing room. …I couldn’t believe it either. I even held one in place as it set. …I’m glad you don’t mind. I know you said, ‘I’m beautiful.’ Thank you. The panty I have on doesn’t show it’s so thin. It feels great. …It and the hose hold me in. I appear to be all girl. …Good, we should be home right after everything’s paid for.”

Susan Reed called and I answer. I’m remembering someone said she had a crush on me. “Hi Susan, O thanks that’s sweet of you. Hope to see you at school. What would you think if I come as Danica? …Really, I’d like to be friends.” I wanted to kiss her over the phone but resisted.

Being a girl having girlfriends would be ideal for me. Halle hugs me. She’s holding me to whisper, “I hope you didn’t feel me too forward. But if I were you, I thought this would top tonight’s experience. I really do appreciate you doing this for Harrison. And I’d love to talk with you sometime, about how this all feels for you. Maybe you could come over for a pajama party?”

I blushed as Halle asked, “Would you like that?”

=^_^=

We arrived home at my house and mother greeted everyone at the door, saying, “Pizza’s been ordered.” She had diet drinks and flavored water to drink. Mom hands me a new outfit she wants me to change into. Instead of letting me go to my room they gather around me and turn their backs. But as soon as I have my clothes off, they walk away and leave me changing there in the open. Mom is first upset but realizes I’m being seen as another girl. And she doesn’t see my boy bits.

=^_^=

There’s a knock at the door and it opens showing Harrison’s here. We meet with him hugging me and a little kiss. “Can we talk, please? I don’t have much time as Mom’s home alone,” Harrison’s talking as we’re walking to get some space. He sits down in a lone chair and pulls me in his lap.

“I saw two of your pictures. You look very nice, but I needed to come and make sure you are alright?” Harrison has a concerned look on his face. “This might be a good idea, but not if you’re being pressured to do it against your desire. I had to come and nip this as soon as possible if need be.”

I hug him as he’s being a dear. I’ve been asking some of the same since the afternoon of shopping began. I give him a kiss and smile, saying, “Thanks. I wasn’t sure at first. It kind of makes sense, but I’m not… No wait, I wasn’t comfortable, but it kind of feels right. I know me and my Momma needs to talk about it.”

I ask, “Are you comfortable with me being out as transgender. I don’t want you if you feel uncomfortable with me out as a girl going to the Prom.”

Harrison waves to prom tickets, “You’re my date, Dani.” 'Dani?' I know he’s aroused, but glad he’s not pressing on me. It is just a huge hug and passionate kiss.

He told me his Mom got sick earlier, but says, “She’s actually getting better. You’ve been good medicine for my mom. She hopes you’re still coming Sunday afternoons to sit with her.”

We talk to my mother and she’s very happy that Harrison was so thoughtful to come over. Harris soon left first, and by a little after nine everyone but Melanie and Megan was gone.

My Dad is out with Mom to talk with me. Megan is in Brien’s arms but is focused on me as is Melanie. My Dad says, “You seem to already be comfortable with this. That you might come to be comfortable isn’t surprising.”

Momma says, “We’re willing to talk more alone and we will be. But if you’re wanting to be starting tomorrow, I, we need to know?”

I’m sitting with Melanie directly across from my momma and dad. “Mom, I can’t believe I’m Danica. I’m actually afraid of trying to go back to being Tim before the Prom. I want to try this. I know we need to talk and that I need to see my counselor.”

I turn and whisper to Melanie, “Did you know about Susan Reed?” She shushes me, “Not now.” I understand, but it also means it’s probably true.

My mother walks me to my room and Melanie and Megan are encouraged to come. Mother says, “You looked very nice when you came home. But you and your girlfriends need to know you’re not going around braless. You’re much too young for that. I’m suspecting Halle was in your bedroom before you left and saw your poster of her.”

“Girls,” my Mom turns to Melanie and Megan, “I will be bringing Danica to school a little late in the morning. I’m hoping the next few school days especially she’ll have girlfriends supporting her.”

Melanie said, “Halle and Megan were here to explain the concern of the senior girls. And I agreed a surprise at Prom time could be distracting. Danica is our chief concern. I’m surprised how all that she did worked this well. Danica needs to sleep on it and see how she feels in the morning. But you know what I suspect we’ll be doing.”

Melanie and Megan give me hugs, as well as my Mom as they say thanks and leave.

=^_^=


“Momma, I’ll help you clean up.”

Mom smiles, “Your Dad and Brien are doing that. You and I will go through your clothes. Putting some things in the wash, having you model and help you put some other things away properly. It will probably be helpful not having you switch back and forth. If it will be Danica taking better care of things in her room.”

I tried a dress last and Momma held it after she helped me out of it. “You young lady go take a relaxing shower and doing your hair and skin. I’ll be back shortly to help when you’re done.”

Taking the shower, I was surprised how nicely my breast forms held. Patting myself dry and having my hair wrapped up was kind of fun tonight. I could see how it could get old, but that won’t happen anytime soon.

Momma and I talk. The decision of how long this lasts will be decided after the prom. We initially talk that all this is temporary. By the time I was ready for bed and ending our talk. We both wondered aloud about me continuing as Danica. That part of the conversation is only for Momma and me for now…

Story to be continued…

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Comments

I have to wonder

if being Trans will be enough of being a boy for Harrison to stay with Danica.

Why?

She has at least one pretty girl that is interested in her, why would she want a guy? It seems her sexual orientation is towards females, so as a girl she is a lesbian. As Spock would say, "Logical".


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Again with the pushing

Jamie Lee's picture

Again with the girls pressuring Tim to be Danica, for the sake of others. This time Seniors at the prom.

When did Tim start seeing a counselor? Why does mom and dad saw being Danica isn't permanent but then talk as though they know Tim will continue being Danica. Even Tim said he fears going back to being Tim.

He's forced to be Darbie Sue because he got muddy and was considered being in trouble. And every time she can since, Melanie has pushed Tim into being Danica. And every time she does, mom agrees.

Tim is volunteered by Melanie before he agrees, but it's for something that would make him look bad if he refused.

When the girls decide what Tim is going to do, mom always seems to find out and agrees. And Tim is never given a chance to decide for himself.

The girls, all of the girls, need to back off and stop making decisions for Tim. Tim needs time and counseling from the suddenly mentioned counselor to discover for himself who he is.

He needs to be selfish and tell everyone no, back off, and give him time to think without any pressure from anyone. It's going to make several angry, but that's tough. It's his life and he needs to be absolutely sure if he will live it as Tim or Danica.

Others have feelings too.