The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3269 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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The rest of the day was taken up with mundane issues such as meals or issues arising from work, which these days seemed to intrude ever more into my personal life and free time. Now I understood why Daddy seemed to be working all his waking hours. That wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, I enjoyed what I did, but I didn't live for it and I wondered if I needed a chat with Daddy and also with Simon. Their opinions would be useful but I would make my own decisions. I am no longer the naïve ingénue I was, I'm a mature woman able to fight her corner and who doesn't roll over for anyone.

Danni and I had been together at lunch and various other times during the day but not to talk. However, I did notice that she wore her usual eye-makeup and some lip colour; whether that meant she had answered her own question or just decided to continue as normal, I wasn't sure but if she needed to tell me anything, I hoped she knew she could.

Covid was still raging across the land like some blight out of the Wasteland or some Arthurian myth, telling us that the gods were punishing us for our stewardship of the Earth. Perhaps that would be the correct assumption, certainly, some serious scientists suggested that it came from trading wild animals, such as bush meat and killing things for trophies, both of which I find despicable.

I was once again in my study, reading a research paper on extinction, when Danni once again tapped on the door and entered, closing the door after her. Looked like she needed to tell me something, I put down the paper. "Hello, sweetheart," I offered, smiling at her.

She smiled back slightly nervously and her colour was rising. "Mummy, you remember what we spoke about this morning?"

"I do." I continued smiling trying to put her at her ease but not trying to lead her into saying anything she didn't want to say, perhaps I'd been guilty of that in the past, but that was not going to happen today.

"You suggested I talk with the goddess." I nodded and tried to look encouraging. "Well, I think I did." I nodded again. "The room seemed to get a bit cooler and I felt something with me, but it wasn't scary, just there with me. I asked it to show me if it was her and I smelt the scent of flowers I felt surrounded in the blue light, so I knew I was safe. I asked her if I was meant to be a girl or had I made a mistake?" She stopped to hug me, then continued, "I saw, in my mind's eye, Pia attacking me with her scalpel or whatever she used and blue light surrounding me, so I knew I wouldn't die, I was being protected by her, wasn't I?

"I think you probably were, my darling." I felt tears run down my face, what happened to her should not have under any circumstances, including the goddess. I felt quite angry.

"I felt as if she didn't know I was going to be attacked, but once I was she used her power to protect me because I was your daughter and she watches over you because you're special."

"Pity she didn't protect you from Pia before the attack," I said angrily.

"She told me as humans we are free to choose what we say and do and think but when of her agents is in danger, she tries to help but she can only do so much to reduce the danger. It was why I was still alive when I got to the hospital even though I had lost so much blood, she kept me alive, Mummy."

I nodded, but I was still angry, I didn't like my children being used as pawns in some esoteric game, which seemed to me to be what was happening.

"I felt this voice in my head telling me that I am who I was always meant to be and that as time unfolds, I will discover more about what we all have to do, why we're here. Exciting isn't it, Mummy?"

"I think I'd like to know a bit more about it first," I replied, "but I'm glad you seem happier and more your usual self, sweetheart."

"I just like, feel happier when I'm wearing a bit of mascara and lip gloss." I hugged her and ummed my agreement. "So, I'm happy to be a girl, Mummy."

"I'm glad you were able to answer your questions to your satisfaction and that you feel easier about things."

"There's some sadness there, isn't there, Mummy?" she asked and I shrugged. "You feel guilty about me being a girl, don't you?" Where did that come from? It certainly caught me by surprise. "You do, don't you?"

I nodded and felt tears stream down my eyes.

"Please don't cry, Mummy, and don't feel guilty either. I'm not blaming you for what happened."

"I feel responsible because I asked you not to abandon Peter and you did as I asked and he repaid you by assaulting you, you could have died, and it would have been all my fault. I should have protected you, I didn't realise how disturbed he was. I let you down."

She reached over to my desk and handed me some tissues. "No, Mummy, you weren't to blame, Pia acted on her own and I should have known there was something up, she wanted to talk to me about just removing my balls so I didn't turn into a man and I went along with it because I thought I might prefer to be like you, a lovely woman rather than like Daddy, especially as I knew I'd never grow as big as Daddy or as strong, but I could be like you and you and the others seemed to think I was quite pretty as a girl."

"You are very pretty, sweetheart, but you weren't seriously going to let Pia castrate you, were you?"

"I'm not sure what I was going to do, part of me wanted her to do it and part of me was scared stiff. Ever since that bloke in France buggered me and I came, I felt angry with my body, or with my balls, so if they were gone, it couldn't happen again and I could become more of a girl, like you and the others." I felt anger rise in me again, I was glad that bastard had died in the shoot-out, he deserved it, then I felt cross with myself for thinking it.

I hugged Danielle again and felt my eyes fill up again and tears ran down my face again.

"Don't cry, Mummy, everything has turned out alright, hasn't it?"

"As long as you think so, darling, then it probably has." It would be nice if it had but life has a habit of bowling googlies when you're least expecting one and sometimes the future depends upon how you played it. So for the moment, she has reached some form of reconciliation with herself and sees where she fits in the scheme of things a little better.

"Mummy, d'you think Scotland Ladies would still be interested in me?"

"I don't know, would you like me to ask them?"

She smiled sweetly and nodded, "If the goddess gave me a talent, perhaps I should use it."

"You could be right, darling, but it wasn't just the football skills or the blue light, she also made you one of the sweetest girls I think I have ever had the privilege to know, you have the makings of a beautiful woman with an equally beautiful personality and that is special."

"You're just saying that Mummy, but thank you, anyway." We hugged once again and I felt so proud of her, she really was beautiful in all senses and that made my eyes begin to fill with tears again, I loved her so much as I did the others and I thanked the universe for allowing me to share in the lives of these wonderful children, who couldn't have been any more loved if they'd come from own body, nor could I have been any more proud of all of them.

Danni kissed me and left my study, moments later all hell broke loose in the corridor outside as Trish and Livvie began screaming at each other using words and threats that were rather unseemly in young women. Just when you're basking on a cloud, life and children tend to bring you back to earth with a bump. The squabble receded towards the kitchen where I hoped one of the adults would stop it until I had time to clean up my face and enforce a cease-fire. What fun children are, especially as teenagers.