The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3246 by Angharad Copyright© 2020 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

I hate recruiting people for any sort of position and so something as potentially risky as a housekeeper cum childminder, which could make us as a family very vulnerable, especially as being relatively wealthy we could be at risk of kidnap or extortion.

I spoke with Stella, who really wanted no part in the process, though she was happy to contribute to the cost of hiring someone providing her kids were included in the duties of whoever we eventually employed. I discussed it all with Si, who agreed to pay the majority of the costs of salary and so on but suggested I use a recruitment agency. That worried me a little, but in the end all I did was write a vague job description including the clause, 'Any other tasks requested by the employer which is considered commensurate with the duties of housekeeper - childminder.'

The next day, I asked Diana to find me an agency or two which she felt could recruit someone of the calibre needed to meet the job description. I dealt with some queries from Daddy's secretary, remember he's acting VC again and by the time I'd finished, Diana had sent off the job description to two agencies after explaining that the security clearance and background checks required for a successful candidate were very stringent. On top of that I'd ask Jim to check up on anyone who was selected.

While all this was going on, the Echo began to ask why Danni was no longer being selected for further England caps, seeing as she was possibly the best player they had. Portsmouth Ladies team issued a statement stating that they couldn't understand it either and the loss of her England selection, had made Danielle give up soccer all together. Of course we know why she was dropped but weren't going to say, and she was still a minor, so the press couldn't ask for a direct interview. The Echo therefore went off at a tangent and blamed it on the management of the national side for being short sighted.

It rumbled on for a few days and we let it fizzle out, though at one point I did think of bringing a lawsuit against the FA for failure to uphold its own code of diversity. In the end, while Jason felt we'd win it, I suspected Danni was so fed up with the whole business, she didn't want any further involvement even to the point where she would study science rather than sports science. I just hoped she wouldn't stop exercising altogether because she was really fit and had a super figure.

I had just collected the 'Famous Five' (Danni, Trish, Livvie, Meems and Cate) from St Claire's Gulag for Good-time Girls, narrowly avoiding being seen by the head warder, Sister Marie as we scampered back to my people carrier. Whenever I hear that term I tend to think of the big things the army have, Warriors or whatever they call them, I'm sure they'd cope well with the rush hour especially with a 30 or 40 mm cannon and a 7mm chain gun. I suppose they may be a bit noisier than out VW. While the usual banter happened behind us, Danni told me the Echo were still trying to find out why she'd been dropped and she felt it was only a matter of time before they found out the real reason. I mentioned it to Jason when we got home and he said he'd remind the FA of their obligations under the data protection act and confidentiality of their staff and players.

Thankfully Danni had changed her surname to Cameron, so hopefully they wouldn't discover her previous name and history. If they did we'd all do what we could to help her. Once again she grumbled about being the victim not the perpetrator and asked why we were treated like criminals just for being different.

I had no answer except the prurient curiosity of some people who perceive others as different. Except we aren't that different unless you examine our breeding equipment internally, which wouldn't take long as we haven't any. Externally, we all look the same as any biological woman or 'people who menstruate' according to Mrs JK Rowling, her of Harry Potter fame.

It's understandable that if all gender variant persons were able to self declare their gender and have it legally recognised, then it could become difficult for women to have safe spaces. I'm not aware than anyone self declaring has actually caused a problem in such spaces, such as toilets, because they usually end up the victim of any such incidents as shown by the beating up of a transsexual woman by two teenage women in the toilets at a fast food restaurant a few years ago which was filmed and went viral on YouTube. So while there may be a potential, history has not borne out any such actual incidents.

These days with social media, the truth is a moveable feast and all sorts of abuse of facts happens from deliberate falsehoods to manipulation of facts to appear opposite to the truth. Anti vaccination groups are one such type of manipulators blaming vaccines for everything from autism to infertility. It's all total hogwash, vaccines are safe for the vast majority of recipients and certainly safer than the disease they are trying to prevent. What is astonishing is that people believe celebrities rather than scientists or medics, some of these z-listers seem to have axes to grind and thus post the most amazing untruths about MMR vaccine or similar, failing to remind their readers that diseases like measles or rubella can be very serious and lead to blindness or even brain damage in susceptible children.

But then that's like trying to convince the transphobic that we are not trying to undermine the women's movement, steal their husbands or anything else, we're just trying to deal with a recognised condition which can cause the sufferer enormous distress and discomfort and which most of us wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. However, in some people being judgemental seems to be a character trait, whereas discernment might be a whole lot more useful.

Danni and I sat in my study and talked while we drank a cuppa. I had no answers for her only the benefit of greater experience, but I reassured her that we, as a family, would stand with her to deal with anything which developed from this resurrection of a matter we considered over. Seems that when you're just the slightest bit different, you become fodder for the media who need a constant supply of victims to dissect and dump afterwards.

We went and changed and she finished her homework while I went to see what David had cooked us for dinner. Being Friday, he'd poached us a whole salmon, I mean he'd cooked it in milk, not he'd stolen it from a river or fish farm. He'd also done duchesse potatoes and a selection of vegetables. For dessert, he had made us a huge apple pie and we had the choice of ice cream or fresh cream to help it down. My tummy growled when I smelt it all and my salivary glands were in full production ready to eat this feast, except we had to wait for Daddy, Si and Sammi. It seemed Phoebe and Julie were working late and would go back to their flat for dinner - good, that left more for me and I was starving.

There were no awkward phone calls or knocks on the door from the Echo or anyone else, though my trail cam in the garden filmed a couple of hedgehogs getting amorous. How do hedgehogs make love? Very carefully. I suspect porcupines are even more careful. It's interesting that neither are related to each other porcupines being rodents in the same order as rats and mice, while hedgehogs are in the order Eulypotyphla which used to be called Insectivora at one time, but not anymore. The new order is a bit of mouthful and I doubt would be very easy to introduce into an ordinary conversation, especially after a couple of drinks. I have enough trouble saying it when sober.

Back to hedgehogs and their mating habits, they really are quite raucous but then my kids reckon that Simon and I could give them a run for their money any day. Quite how I know this would be telling.