For Want of a Comma - Chapter 2

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horseshoe & comma

In this chapter, our hero runs into a hall monitor, and school policies.

Copyright 2020 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

My heart was thumping as I climbed out of the car. I scanned the front of the school while closing the car door, and snapped my eyes shut when the one kid I saw looked directly at me.

"Oh, wait a minute!" Mom shouted from behind me.

After checking to make sure nothing had burst out of my rib cage, I turned and crouched down. "What's up?" I asked in the calmest voice I could manage.

My mom reached through the open window, and held out a card. "This is your student ID. It arrived in the mail Saturday when the movers were loading up the truck. Sorry I forgot to give it to you earlier."

I nodded and smiled as I pocketed the card. "No worries. Have a good day at work!"

"I will," Mom said as she started up the car. "You have a good day too!"

I waved as she pulled away, then turned back to the school. There was still someone standing outside the front door. At first glance, I thought I was looking at a guy. When I risked a longer look, the skirted uniform, and the curves underneath, told me I was wrong ... probably.

A cool breeze brushed my hair against the back of my neck. A few dry, reddish-brown leaves skittered across my path as I strode up the winding concrete walkway. I didn't find anything to pull when I reached the entrance, so I gave pushing a try, but the door didn't budge.

"Ya gotta tap to get in," said a voice that sounded both friendly and authoritative.

I turned to the voice, and saw the girl I'd been trying to avoid. My knees wobbled when she smiled at me. I tried asking what she meant, but no sound came out.

"Ya new here?" she asked as dimples joined her smile.

Her plaid skirt and long, black hair billowed in a gust of wind while I tried to speak. After half a dozen agonizing seconds, I decided my voice was stuck on pause, and answered with a nod.

"I figured. Didja bring your student ID?"

I made a garbled noise that was supposed to sound like, "Yeah," as I dug into a pocket. My numb fingers nearly dropped my card as I handed it over.

She gave my ID card a quick look. "Tracy Thomas?"

It sounded weird hearing my last name first, but I didn't have the nerve to correct her, so I nodded again.

Nice to meetcha," she said while bringing my card up to a plastic box attached to the door frame. "Just gotta hold your card against the scanner to get in." The scanner beeped when she touched it with my card, and the doors slid open.

"I'm Richelle," she said as she stepped inside. "Better get in here before the doors close."

I dashed between the doors as they whooshed together, and stumbled into her. I felt something soft against my cheek, then blushed when I realized what I'd bumped into.

"Sorry," I said as I backed up, then lost my footing when I smacked my skull into the door.

She caught me by the shoulders, held on until I got my feet under me again, then said, "You okay?"

"Urmm ... yeah," I said as I looked at my toes. "Sorry for being so clumsy, Richelle."

She reached under my chin, and tilted my head up, until I was looking into her gentle, golden-brown eyes. "It's all good," she said, "and you can call me Richie, if you'd like."

When I remembered how to breathe again, I said, "Umm ... I better get to class."

Her bronze cheeks reddened as her hand dropped. "Oh yeah, you're right. Ya know which homeroom you're in?"

"Uhhh ... no?"

"Ah," Richie said as she held out the sash draped over her shoulder, "that's what hall monitors are for. Follow me!" she called out as she headed down the hallway.

I had to jog to keep up with her long-legged stride, and was half out of breath by the time we stopped.

"Here we are!" she said as she opened a door.

It took me a second before I realized she was holding the door for me. "Oh! Um, thanks," I said as I stepped through.

"De nada," Richie said as she returned my card. "I'm still on duty, so I gotta head back to my post. Ms Etcherson over there should be able to help get ya set up." She gave me a lopsided grin when she let go of the door.

"Welcome to Saint Milton's Middle School," she said as the door closed. I caught the start of a wink before the latch clicked shut.

=-=-=

I was staring at the closed door, trying to figure out how to deal with being winked at by a girl who had some sorta guy vibe, when a no-nonsense voice said, "Good morning."

I turned and saw a woman sitting behind a tall desk that stretched from one side of the room to the other. The clatter of her typing stopped, and she looked over the top of her glasses as she asked, "May I help you?"

"Oh yeah," I said as I approached her. "You Miss Etcherson?"

"That's Ms Etcherson, not Miss."

"Sorry," I said as I shoved my hands into my pockets. "I meant, are ya Ms Etcherson?"

"That's correct. May I see your student ID?"

I pulled the hand that held my ID out of a pocket. "Here ya go," I said as I laid my card on the desk.

She picked the card up with the tips of her long, pink fingernails, examined it a moment, then asked, "Are you Tracy Thomas?"

I frowned and said, "Actually, it's Thomas Tracy."

Ms Etcherson waved my card over the scanner sitting on the desk, did a few mouse clicks, then handed my ID back to me. "Everything in our system indicates you're Tracy Thomas. We have no records of a Thomas Tracy, or a Tracy comma Thomas."

"Who'd have Comma as a middle name?"

A small crease formed between her pinched brows. "What I meant was, when a last name is listed first, there's usually a comma between the last and first name. Our records show no comma in your file."

I took a close look at my card. Sure enough, it showed my last name first, and no commas were to be found anywhere. "But ... but, there's gotta be some mistake."

"I'll send a confirmation request to your previous school," she said as she began typing. "Until we hear back from them, we won't be able to make any updates to your file."

"What? Really?"

"I'm sorry," she said as she looked up from her computer screen. Her voice softened when she said, "I know how rough it can be starting off in a new school, but our policies are there for a reason."

"Okay," I said as my shoulders slumped.

Ms Etcherson gave me a comforting smile, then said, "Let's concentrate on getting you settled in. Did you receive your uniform?"

"Well ... yeah, but I couldn't find it this morning."

"You lost your uniform on your first day?" she asked as her eyes widened.

"Not exactly. A UPX guy dropped off the package ya sent on Friday, when we was getting ready to move. I 'member tossing it in a box with with some other stuff, but I ain't been able find my uniform in any of the boxes we've unpacked so far."

"Ah, I see," she said as she gave me a knowing nod. "What size clothes do you wear?"

"I dunno. Maybe ... medium?"

"I can work with that. Do you know your shoe size?"

"Um, lemme check," I said as I bent down and began untying one of my sneakers.

"Never mind. I've got a pretty good eye for shoe sizes."

"Whatcha need my sizes for?" I asked as I retied my sneaker.

"School policy," she said in a muffled voice.

When I stood up again, nobody was behind the desk. "Hello," I said as I looked around. "Ya there, Ms Etcherson?"

A hand popped over the edge of the desk, and dropped a package of clothes in front of me. "I'm right here," she said. "Just give me a minute."

I rocked on my heels while listening to the rustling behind the desk. After a couple of minutes, Ms Etcherson stood up with a pair of black shoes in her hands, which she placed beside the clothes.

I stared at the shoes.

After a few seconds, I said, "I can't wear those."

"Do they look too big?" she asked.

"No, it's just-"

"Oh, so they're too little?"

"No, it ain't that. It's just they're ..."

"Too dressy?"

"Well, I guess they are, but what I meant was-"

"If you're trying to indicate you'd rather wear your current footwear," she said as a sliver of frustration slipped into her voice, "I need to let you know, this school has a strict dress code. Athletic shoes are only permitted during physical education classes. In all other classes, more formal footwear is required."

"But ... but I can't wear these."

Her lips pressed into a thin line. "And why exactly is that?"

"'Cause they're girl shoes!"

"And?"

"And?!" I screeched, the stress of disbelief making my voice rise an octave. "And," I said as I held out my arms, "I ain't a girl!"

Ms Etcherson looked at her computer screen, then swiveled it around towards me as she said, "Not according to our records."

I scanned down a couple of lines, then gasped when I saw what it said in the gender field. "What the-!" I choked down the swear word. "There's gotta be some mistake. Can't ya tell I'm a guy just by looking at me?"

"Unfortunately, due to recent additions to school policy, no staff members are allowed to make any assumptions about a students gender based on appearance, behavior, or any other related criteria."

My jaw hung open as I tried to make sense of what I'd heard. "That's ... that's crazy! What do I gotta do to prove I'm a boy?"

"School policy requires a Gender Affirmation form, signed by a parent or legal guardian, before a student's gender can be updated in our records." She turned her screen back around. "I don't see any indication such a form has been submitted."

When my fingers curled up, I was reminded of something my therapist had said. After imagining all my frustration gathering into my fists, I opened my hands, and visualized the negative emotions drifting to the ground.

Once I was more under control, I said. "I understand ya need to follow policy. Is there anyone else I could speak to, who might be able to change my file, so it shows I'm a boy?"

"In some special cases, policy amendments can be made by the school principal."

"Great! Can I talk to him?"

"Mrs McCrudger is not a him," she said in a cold voice as she tapped a few keys on her keyboard. "At the moment, she's in the middle of a conference call, and can't be disturbed."

The clear plastic bag crinkled when I grabbed the clothes. "Okay," I said as I picked up the shoes with my other hand, "I'll try coming back after my first class. Could ya tell me where that is?"

"Before you go to class, you'll need to change into your uniform."

"Okay. Fine. I'll wear the stupid shoes."

"And the rest of the uniform."

I thought about what I'd said to my mom about wearing uniforms and following rules, sighed, then said, "Yeah, I'll wear the whole thing. Is there someplace I can change?"

Ms Etcherson pointed to a door at the far end of the room. "You can use the visitor restroom. It's single use, so you can lock the door for privacy while changing."

I gave her a nod, trudged towards the restroom, and tried to shake off the feeling that life as I'd known it would never be the same again.

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Comments

For what of a coma

Just a short note to let you know that I think you have a great start to your story. It looks to be very entertaining. I look forward as more chapters are posted and this story develops. Great job.

Getting started ...

... on a new story has been a lot of fun! I've got a couple more chapters written, which I'm still working on polishing up. I hope you enjoy them as much as what I've posted so far. :D

Procrustean bureaucracy at its finest

laika's picture

Tee Hee Hee!!! Rules meant to ensure fairness and inclusiveness have turned out to be working against our hapless young hero(ine) here on the first day of... the rest of her life? That's how these stories go a lot of the time.

And I'm liking this Richie girl a lot. I hope she and Tracy
wind up sweethearts, or at least best girlfriends...
~huggles, Veronica

.
For want of a comma the word was lost...
For want of a word the sentence was lost...
For want of a sentence the paragraph was lost...
For want of a paragraph the story was lost-
Damn!! I really need to start remembering to make backup copies!

Richie...

...turned out to be a bit more forward than I'd originally imagined. I'm not sure if she and Tommy/Tracy will become sweethearts, but I'm pretty certain they'll at least become good friends. :)

Why...

... does this story make me think of Gordon Dickson's "Computers Don't Argue"?

Arguing with computers

I don't think I've read anything written by Gordon Dickson, but if that story is about people believing what computers say more than what their eyes are telling them, then I guess there may be some similarities between his story and mine. ;)

I don't remember that story very well.

WillowD's picture

My favorite Gordon Dixon story is The Genetic General, later republished as Dorsai. It was part of a double novel book from the 1960s. As a young teenager in a small town with no book store, I was delighted to find out that a newly opened second hand store had some books. I spent about $3 on a paper grocery bag full of novels. Many of them were science fiction double books. This was my introduction to Gordon Dixon. I went on to read many of his books.

I don't remember anything about arguing about computers in the stories I've read. But I do remember when companies and government started putting their files on computers. The information was probably transferred over from paper records by some underpaid typist. And then their people would assume that anything in the computer had to be true. And they didn't have procedures in place to approve the fixing of errors. It could be quite a nightmare for people to get information about themselves fixed. It became a common phrase at the time to sarcastically say "The computer is always right."

Gordon Dixon / computers are always right

I'm definitely curious about Gordon Dixon now. My favorite used book store closed a while ago, but now that I'm getting back into a reading mood, I may try looking for a new one.

I'm pretty familiar with the way people seem to assume computers must be right. It's actually part of the inspiration for this story. :D

Read the synopsis...

...and Computers Don't Argue does seem to have some similarities to my story. I'm planning a happier ending for mine, though. :)

Happier

I'm glad that your ending will be happier. Of course, in this instance, that is a rather low bar..... :-)

Endings...

...can be tough to write. At least, they are for me. While I prefer happy endings, it doesn't feel realistic to me for everything to end on a 'happily ever after' note, so I usually try to find a balance between the two. I'm really hoping I'm able to stick the landing when I reach the end of this story. :)

Point Of Reference

If y'all do decide to start looking up the rest of his stories you'd do well to use the same spelling Court used, Gordon R. Dickson. He has a great body of work out there.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

GIGO corollary

Everyone knows GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out), but I once saw a corollary (which may not be quite as relevant nowadays) :

If you put garbage into a computer, nothing comes out but garbage, but that garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no-one dares criticise it.


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Even after being around for decades ...

... people still seem to treat computers like magic boxes, where, no matter what you put into them, what comes out of them has to be right, because ... well ... it's a computer! I know not *everyone thinks like that, but there seem to be enough who do, to make me want to pull out my hair, when I try to explain to them how a computer might *sometimes* be wrong. It's madness, I tell ya. Madness! ;)

Commas

WillowD's picture

It looks like Jennifer's guess in her comment on the last chapter is correct. And now to wonder about the incorrect gender in computer files.

Commas and gender

I had considered writing a prologue, explaining how Tommy's records got messed up, but I thought it would be more fun to just jump into the story. Let's just say, the people who were transcribing his records from his other school didn't have all the information they needed to fill in all the blanks in the records at his new school, and did a bit of guessing, before moving onto the next of several hundred updates they needed to make before the new school year began. :)

That would be my first guess.

WillowD's picture

But given the stories posted on BCTS it could have been deliberate on some ones part.

I think writing it the way you did is awesome. The story works so much better without a prologue explaining the mystery, even if the mystery has a likely solution.

People are very prone to filling in the "obvious". I prefer not to. I used to volunteer in the office of an organization that supported music festivals. One contact in our address book was for "Manitoba Records" in "Winnipeg, Ontario". I guessed this was an error because the capital of Manitoba is Winnipeg. But, unlike most people would do, I reported it as a possible error instead of assuming it was an error an fixing it.

Yep, you don't 'fix'

Yep, you don't 'fix' something that looks like it might be an error unless you've double-checked it. If you work in healthcare, you triple-check instead.

"Fixing" things...

...so they fit better with how we think something should be is a pretty common reaction most people have when they find something that doesn't make sense to them. Sometimes, this can be a good thing, but there's also times when the fix can make things worse, rather than better. That's something Tommy is discovering in this story. :)

Drastic changes...

... can be tough in lots of ways. But sometimes, if we're lucky, and if we're able to embrace those changes, our lives can be changed for the better. :)

Woah.

WillowD's picture

I actually read and commented on the story before Dorothy this time. Dorothy and I tend to comment on many of the same stories and she usually gets her comment in before mine.

It's especially nice when I see her comments on older stories that I'm thinking of reading. If I see her in the comments then I know I am almost certainly going to enjoy the story.

Comments...

...are always appreciated, but it's especially nice when someone finds a story they enjoy, because someone else had commented on it. I hope, if you decide to read any of my other stories, you enjoy them as well! :D

A few days in a comma

When TT finds out that the uniform is a skirt and blouse, it's likely to shock him into a comma! A few days in the hospital, comma-tose, would give an opportunity to correct the student to reflect the ID, rather than the other way around! Wait, you say I'm misspelling coma? I mean comma? Well that's better that omitting a needed punctuation mark! You know that a comma is the difference between "Let's eat grandma" and "Let's eat, grandma!"

I'm really enjoying your story; this type of trope is always welcome when it's written as skillfully as this is!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

*giggling*

I had so much fun reading your comment about comas and commas! :D

Tracy is also a boys name

Jamie Lee's picture

The last the world knew, Tracy is either a boy or girls name, but to assume it to be a girl's name is no better than presuming Thomas' first name is Tracy.

Thomas can get past the problem simply by not answering to Tracy, though it's likely the robot Ms. Etcherson presumed Tracy is a girl and gave him a girls uniform. And if she did, all hell could break lose.

Others have feelings too.

Tracy...

isn't a name I've heard a lot, but the few people I'd known named Tracy were girls. I had done a little research, and did find some famous men who's first names were Tracy, but also saw more women with that name. From the sites I'd looked at, there seemed to be a consensus that it could be used as both a male or female name, but it's more often used as a female name. With that in mind, I thought it was at least possible someone might make the assumption someone named Tracy was a girl.