“Mum?"
"What's up?"
"Erm, can we talk?"
"I thought we were."
"A serious talk," I pressed, "in private?"
"Now?" she queried before pushing the last of her pizza into her mouth.

I guess something in my expression answered that.

"Let me just wash my hands, patio okay?"
I shrugged, "I guess."

Well Dad is in the office and Mand is watching some drivel on the TV in the lounge. The kitchen is hardly private so it doesn't leave many more options at Chez Bond.

"It's kinda important," I repeated.

 
Mum went to wash up and I headed out to our al fresco dining area. The sun is over the yard arm of course which means that we are in shadow now, just as well I snagged my cardi on the way out. I found a spot away from the house to sit and waited for Mum to arrive.

 
She arrived several minutes later bearing a couple of coffee cups.

"There you go."
"Erm thanks."
"So what's so serious, you're not expecting are you?"

Why does everyone assume i'm pregnant?

"No!"
"Sorry kiddo, had to ask, so what is it then, Max trouble?"
"it's nothing to do with Max," well not directly, i've been thinking all evening exactly what to say. Do I tell her the whole baby alert saga or just cut to the chase. I delayed things by taking a sip of coffee.

Mum just waited, sipping her own beverage.

"The Doc thinks I might have cancer," I blurted.

Mum didn't say anything.

"I said I've got cancer," I repeated.
"I think you'd best start at the beginning," she suggested before pulling me into a Mum hug. She was annoyingly calm which is something i'm not.
"Well you remember the other weekend when me and Max went to Bonn?"

And so I started the tale of my pregnancy panic and the ensuing visits to the Doctor's surgery.

 
"I don't want to die Mum,"I sniffed when i'd concluded my tale.
"Who said anything about you dying? We don't even know if you have the big C yet."
"But she said..."
Mum cut me off, "she said they want to do more tests not that you definitely have it."
"But the biop thingy..."
"It's so they can check things out more thoroughly, been there got the T-shirt remember?"
"Course I do, that's why they did extra tests."
"So when is this biopsy and where?"
"She's gonna ring and tell me."
"You're not alone in this kiddo, we're all gonna be here for you. Talking of which, can I tell your father?"
"He's got a lot on his plate at the moment," I hedged.
"He should know, he shouldn't be left out."
"I guess," I allowed.
"I'll tell him later," she stated before changing the tack of the conversation, "so how's the shoulder?"
I wiped another tear from my face, "bit sore."
"Like my wrist."
"I thought it was okay, you've been riding," I pointed out.
"Doesn't stop it aching," she mentioned waving her strapped arm.

 
"Can you get to the Damen Klinik tomorrow morning?" Doc Martin enquired when she called next morning.
"I guess so."
"Have you told your parents?"
"Yeah," I told her, "last night."
"Good, it's good to have a hand to hold. So if you can be at the Klinik for ten, Dr Jancisdottir will be expecting you."
"How long will it take?" I asked, mindful that i'm supposed to be working.
"It's not a long procedure, I should think in and out in a couple of hours."
"Right," I allowed with an inward sigh.
"Don't worry Gaby, its just a precaution okay."
"But what if they find something, er cancery?"
"Then we'll know we were right to check and we can do something about it. Didn't that American chap come back after his cancer diagnosis?"
"Lance, yeah but that was his, you know, boy bits."
"And your mother?"
"Yeah," I agreed.
"Look Gaby, there's a good chance the results will be benign but, and it's a fair sized but, if my colleagues find something we'll cross that bridge when we need to."
"Yeah," I agreed.
"Look Gaby, i've never been in your position but I do know that dwelling on things is never a good thing. You're young and fit, i'm sure things will turn out okay."
"I should get back to work."
"Aren't you supposed to be resting that shoulder?"
"I can still work the till and the hotplate, i'm not lifting stuff, honest."
"Hmm, well Klinik in the morning, once i've got the results back i'll call okay?"
"Okay," I agreed, "thanks Doc."
"You can thank me by getting well, take care Gaby Bond, tschuss."
"Tschuss."

 
"I take it you want me to take you?" Mum proposed when I rang her.
"Er please."
"I'll talk with Dad, he might want to come too."
"We won't know anything tomorrow."
"Hmm."
"What's that mean? What aren't you telling me?"
"Well," Mum started, "if they do find anything they'll probably operate there and then, that's why they put you under."
"Really?"
"If there's cancer it's better out than in."

I couldn't see her shrug her shoulders but I sensed the movement. So I go in all all woman and might come out some sort of female eunoch.

 
Unlike Mum's wrist which is just strapped up my shoulder in a sling really does rule out on road riding but there's no escaping the bike.

"Your Dad's set your bike up on the turbo, you're supposed to do an hour steady." Mum announced when I got home from the cabin.

It has been a weird day, the doctor's call and indeed Mum's afterwards coloured the rest of the day. I got through in an almost zombie like state - I can't even remember talking to Max although I do know he dropped by for lunch. And I don't even get a day off training.

"Whatever."
"You've got a big race coming up young lady."
"I know, are you riding?"
"The British," she advised sliding a dish of Lasagne into the oven, "should be done when you finish training."
"So how come i'm doing the German?"
"Your father thought that it would be good PR and you qualify through residency."
"So why aren't you doing the Germans?"
"I've always been a GB girl, you on the other hand are perceived as being German."
"Really?"
"Well you ride in a German team, go to school here, speak better German than English so it's the old duck thing."
"But I'm English."
"It's not where you're born that matters but where you make a life. Your Dad was telling me that BC have at least one Belgian born rider on the books so why not the other way round?"
"But I've already ridden for GB," I pointed out.
"Makes no difference, you won't be riding for anyone if you don't get on that bike!"
"Gott, you're worse than Dad."

 
Dad and the Croydon one arrived back from the training house suspiciously close to Lasagne time.

"You two eaten?" Mum enquired.
"Hours ago," Mand suggested.

I bet, mind you that rabbit food Angela is dishing up might be good for you but it's hardly filling.

"In the oven," Mum advised with a nod in that general direction.
"How's Daz?" I asked.
"Bout the same as you kiddo, sore and riding the turbo."
"Slave driver!"
"There salad left?" Mand enquired as she ravaged the remaining pasta dish.
"Fridge."
"Cool, Mr B." she allowed as she passed Dad a plate.
"How are you kiddo?" Dad enquired.
"Okay I guess, considering."
"Am I missing something?" Ears de Vreen suggested as she joined the rest of us at the table.
Mum jumped in before I could, "Gabs has got some more plumbing issues, we're off to the Frauen Klinik in the morning."
"You never said Gab."
"Nothing to tell really, hopefully sorted tomorrow."
"As long as you can still sit on your saddle eh?" she chortled.

Look I'll tell people the truth if I need to, when I need to.

"Er yeah," I agreed.
"Great Lasagne."

Yeah, best not upset people if I don't need to.

 
"Alright kinda?" Dad asked when we arrived at the Klinik.
"I guess, you didn't have to come Dad."
"What and commit you to your mother's driving?"
"There is that," I allowed.
"Hey I am here," Mum pointed out.
"Look Gab, you're my child, if your sick I am going to be here for you."
"Thanks Dad."
"Less of this fluffy stuff, you'll have me snivelling in a minute, let's get you inside,". Mum suggested.
"Ready kiddo?"
"As I'll ever be."

I extricated myself from the A, waited for Dad to lock it up then with Mum holding my good hand we headed into the Klinik.

Maddy Bell © 12.07.17