“I really love you,” she repeated. “I’ve never felt this way about … anyone. Ever. Lately, when I’m not with you it feels like … I dunno. It’s like everything is a commercial, and the movie doesn’t start again until you’re there.”
Richard said “I feel the same way,” as he snuggled his date.
“Really?”
“Yes,” he said tenderly. “You’ve turned my whole world upside down and now I find I can’t go back to living right side up.”
“What if,” Christina said as she watched the stars poke holes in the night, “we couldn’t be together? Would you be sorry?..."
 

by Admiral Krunch

---

 
Chapter 48

        Christina stared at the slip of paper in her hand with the number for Doctor Stone's cell phone. He'd told her that he could barely figure out how to use the "contraption" and that he treated it essentially as a pager, which was what the phone had replaced a few years back. He'd also told Christina that if she had another severe panic attack she should feel comfortable calling him, and not to worry if he didn't answer immediately.

        As she copied the number into her own cell phone, she wasn't sure that she would ever call it. It wasn't that she didn't trust Doctor Stone, it was that she felt embarrassed about the whole episode, and felt she was putting a needless burden on a generous old man. She didn't want to be a burden on anyone. She begged the doctor not to tell her aunt or uncle what had transpired in Ariel Rose, and though it took the entire walk back to the grocery store to convince him, Doctor Stone reluctantly agreed.

        The other thing Doctor Stone had asked her to do was to think about if there had been any trigger that led to the attack. Christina had lied when she told him there wasn't. She knew exactly what the problem was- her body didn't match the life she was leading. Her new role fit her so well that she didn't deal with the physical complications until those moments in which she was forced to. It was as though the traces of her maleness existed in a blind spot, and most of the time it was as though they weren't there. It was too easy for Christina to forget the perilous foundation on which she'd built her life, and she was gripped with body shaking terror in those instants when she realized how easily it could all come to an end.

        Of course she wasn't going to tell her doctor that. Until Christina would articulate some identifiable trigger, he called her condition "generalized anxiety" and instructed her to get enough rest and stay hydrated.

        Christina sat down at her vanity, taking out a flat wooden hair brush and her hair dryer. She noticed the bags under her eyes as she started drying her hair. Drinking enough water wouldn't be a problem, but considering how much she'd tossed and turned the night before, she couldn't fathom how she could get enough rest to satisfy Doctor Stone.

        After Christina curled the edges of her long hair using a rounded brush, she went to her closet to survey her impressive collection of dresses. She'd left Ariel Rose before she had a chance to buy something new, so all she had to choose from was her current wardrobe. The plan she'd settled on last night, the only course of action she could reconcile, was to have one last magical night under the fireworks with the man she loved, then break up with him.

        It was the only thing that made sense. This was exactly the reason Christina hadn't wanted to get involved with Richard when she'd returned to Oak Grove. She knew that taking their relationship to it's logical conclusion could only lead to ruin. Somehow it had all gotten out of hand. Richard, in spite of Christina's best efforts, had made her fall in love with him.

        Christina took a white lace mini dress out of her closet and held it in front of her in her mirror. It had three quarter length sleeves and a scalloped neck line. It was very dressy; too elegant for a casual outdoors event. That however is not what made Christina decide against it. The dress would cover her shoulders, and she wanted every inch from her earlobe down to her elbow exposed so that Richard could plant a thousand tiny kisses.

        Frowning, Christina went back to her closet. These were the sort of thoughts that troubled her. She knew that she was irretrievably in love, and there was nothing she could do about it. She took a floral printed, rose colored dress with wide straps from the closet and returned to the full length mirror on the wall. Holding it in front of her she surveyed how the skirt would hit at mid thigh. The sweetheart neckline would expose her chest, shoulders, and most of her back, and she admired the vertical strips of lace that were sown onto the bust. This was the right dress, she decided.

        She went to the old chest of drawers and searched through her lingerie. She selected a white pair of knit boyshorts adorned with pink hearts, and bordered by scalloped lace on the legs and waist. She placed it on her bed next to her dress, then went back to her chest. Before closing the drawer, she saw her old waist cincher. She couldn't remember the last time she'd worn it; she'd lost so much weight when she was living in the city that it had barely fit the last time she'd tried it on. Wondering if it would improve her figure after living at home and eating her aunt's cooking for so long, Christina took the garment from the drawer and held it in front of her tummy.

        Was she being selfish she wondered? Would it be better to just call Richard and break things off right now? Was it right to have one more romantic night with the man before dropping the bomb? Decorating herself, making her attractive for him, even if it would garner the attention that Christina craved- was it the right thing? How could she possibly carry on seeing the man? She knew that she could never give him everything he needed; everything he deserved.

        Christina wasn't sure she could discern right from wrong when it came to matters of the heart as she wrapped the cincher around the back of her waist. Fastening the top clasp, she observed that while the cincher would come nowhere close to compressing her as much as it had the day she'd bought it, it was no longer loose on her body. Upon fastening the third clasp, she winced as she felt a sharp pain around her belly button.

        "Ow," she grunted as she deftly unfastened the cincher and let it drop to the floor. She kicked the device to the corner of her room with her left foot then went to her mirror. She looked at her exposed navel and pressed her finger against the flesh around it. It was painful to the touch. Was this another consequence of her panic attacks, she wondered? Since her breakdown at Ariel Rose, she'd become hypervigilant over every itch and ache, wondering if it was the harbinger of another frightful episode.

        Maybe it was better not to dwell on it, she decided. As much as she wanted to look perfect tonight, Christina knew that she no longer required any assistance to sculpt her midsection.

        Numb, that's what she felt as she stared at her face in the mirror. She had no idea what she was going to tell Richard or when exactly she would tell him. Even though she'd committed herself to leaving the only man she'd ever loved, it didn't feel real yet. Maybe she wouldn't be able to feel anything until she actually went through with it.

 

        Christina had spent the afternoon at the family grocery. She'd tried to help Andrei at the warehouse, but he'd kicked her out, insisting that she was neither strong enough nor dressed appropriately for the work at hand. He may have been right on both counts, but Christina had hoped to spend the day with her older cousin, as he was too oblivious and too engrossed in his work to notice her peculiar mood.

        Nina was much more perceptive than her older brother. She could tell that something had been bothering Christina, but she was thankfully too busy preparing for the last meet of the Math Olympiad to press Christina on her preoccupations. Nina had progressed to the state finals, so even though the school year had ended, she still needed to study. Christina was grateful when she dropped Nina and James off at the library; she was certain that Nina would have eventually confronted her on her dour comportment. That left her and Alek at the store. Christina could tell that her uncle sensed her unease, but there had been a distance between them ever since Christina started asserting herself as an adult. While she was grateful that he hadn't confronted her over her depression, she was troubled by the increasing sense of alienation she felt in their once close relationship.

        The real danger was from Misha. Christina made a point of rushing through dinner with the family under the guise of being excited about attending the fireworks. In truth, Christina was looking forward to spending the night with Richard, even though she intended it to be their last evening together. She was consciously on guard around her aunt; Christina knew that Misha always seemed to know what she was feeling, in some cases before she even knew herself. She also suspected that while Doctor Stone had promised not to tell her aunt about her collapse, Abby would probably burst if she had to sit on that information for very long. Eventually it would get back to Misha, Christina feared.

        Christina made a concerted effort to get out of the house right after dinner. The most difficult part of the getaway was leaving without Boris. The dog had decided that he should be included in the evening and only reluctantly took "no" for an answer. Christina rushed Nina out of the house, and picked up James far ahead of what Nina considered a reasonable schedule. She was able to park her Saab in the first row of cars in the lot adjacent to the field. Most of the people who had already arrived were either there to get positions near the front of the field or to set up food stations. Christina took a wicker basket out of her trunk before she, Nina, and James started walking across the field.

        "You should have let me bring just one book," Nina complained.

        "Nina," Christina sighed, "You spent the whole day at the library."

        "But-"

        "But nothing!" Christina insisted. "This is technically summer vacation! And, a federal holiday. I think you're obligated to kick back a little bit. Back me up, James," she said to the boy walking beside her cousin. "I'm sure studying math all day was not your idea of a good time."

        "I don't mind," James said as he held Nina's hand.

        "I guess one night off wouldn't hurt," Nina relented as she smiled at James. "I just don't want to mess up."

        Christina was about to encourage her cousin, but James beat her to it.

        "You're going to be great," James promised. "You're the smartest person in the whole school. Not just your grade, I mean the whole school."

        After all the awkwardness Nina had felt over her intelligence and the whole debacle with David, Christina was happy that James had come along. He was good for Nina, she decided, and Christina was glad that Nina had seemed to pull James out of his shell as well.

        "I have to be the best," Nina insisted. "That means I have to study more than everyone else. I'm one of the youngest people competing; everyone else has had a lot more math than I've had."

        "Nina," Christina assured, "You know, at some point pushing yourself ends up being the whole point of what you're doing, not learning. I'm not saying you shouldn't study hard, but if you push yourself too much you're just gonna crack."

        Nina rolled her eyes. "Sometimes you sound so much like Mom it's scary," she complained.

        "I could do a lot worse than sounding like your mother," Christina stated. Seeing Andrei and Steph coming across the field to their left, Christina waved. Steph had loaded Andrei like a pack mule; he held three heavy wooden folding chairs under each arm, and a pack full of drinks was strapped on his back.

        "We're off to an early start this year," Steph chirped. "We may as well get front row seats."

        Christina said, "You guys should go ahead, I was gonna have sort of a ... private ... thing with Richard."

        "Whoa, a 'thing'," Steph quipped, "Sounds serious."

        Nina interjected, "You didn't mention anything about that."

        "It's not a big deal," Christina insisted.

        "So," Andrei started, realizing that Christina wouldn't be joining them, "I'm carrying two extra chairs for nothing?"

        "I can get those," James offered.

        Not wanting to appear weak in front of his girlfriend, Andrei raised the chairs higher, replying, "No ... this is nothing."

        "Maybe Leese and Ollie will forget their chairs," Steph consoled as she admired Andrei's tree trunk sized arms.

        "I'll catch up with you guys afterwards, okay?" Christina promised as she dropped back from the rest of the group.

        Christina scanned for a secluded spot as the others went to the front of the field. As she searched, she felt her cellphone buzzing in her purse. She took out the phone and saw that she had a text message from her boyfriend.

        "Running late," the message read.

        Christina sighed. Why did he have to be behind schedule tonight of all nights? "n bg deal," she texted with a frown. "whn wll u gt hr"

        Moments later, her phone lit up with the words, "No more than twenty minutes- phone consultation."

        Christina rolled her eyes, Not only did she not want to stand there for almost a half an hour, it had always irked her how her much older boyfriend insisted on writing complete sentences in his texts. "r u srous," she replied.

        "I'm afraid so," read Richard's response. "I hope you're not there already."

        Richard's insistence on using completely spelled words and punctuation meant that she had to wait precious extra moments between each exchange. It was the only habit Richard had that made him seem old to her. "jst gt hr cnt u sneak awy soonr" Christina stared at her phone. Obviously Richard was drafting a short, syntactically correct novella and it was making her even more annoyed.

        Finally the response appeared. "Afraid not Princess. It's a shame because that dress looks amazing from where I'm standing. I'm also curious about the basket."

        "What?" Christina said to herself. She looked behind her and saw Richard with his Blackberry in hand and a Cheshire Cat grin on his face. "You are such a jerk!" she complained in disbelief.

        "Did you miss me?" he beamed.

        She repeated, "You're such a jerk," as she went to him.

        "We've established that," he said, undeterred. "Did you miss me?"

        "No, cause I don't miss jerks," Christina sparred.

        Richard took her by the waist and pulled her against him. He leaned down and kissed her. "Not even a little bit?" he pressed.

        Christina pinched her thumb to her forefinger, admitting breathlessly, "Maybe a little bit."

        "About that much." Richard clarified seriously.

        "I could be exaggerating a little," Christina jabbed as she pressed her fingers more tightly together.

        Richard looked around asking, "Where's everyone else?"

        She explained, "I thought maybe it would be nice to find somewhere we could watch the fireworks alone."

        Still holding her, he joked, "I guess you missed me more than you thought."

        "I don't think so!" Christina complained though her smile. "I just thought you might like to have me all to yourself."

        Richard made a face as though he were seriously considering that proposition. "I think that's a very good idea," he stated as though he was reviewing a legal document.

        Shaking her head in amused disbelief, Christina again looked around for a good spot. "I'm just not sure where we should sit."

        Richard broke off their embrace, though his arm was still wrapped around Christina's slim waist as they walked. "Though it's several miles away and the window is at a poor angle," he said nonchalantly, "I believe the master bedroom on the second floor of my house has an excellent view."

        "Wow," Christina laughed. "That's a really optimistic version of 'all to yourself'."

        "I live in eternal hope," Richard dismissed. "I do think I can offer another option," he said as he led Christina into the woods.

        As she was led down a path bordered on both sides by white aspens, she said sarcastically, "I guess mountaineering is not one of your many talents, cause the view here looks pretty crummy."

        Laughing, he replied, "When have I ever given you cause to doubt my talents?"

        "Ask me again when the search teams find us," she joked.

        Richard took the girl up a steep incline to a small plateau, retorting, "I hope you packed enough for the rescue party in your basket because I think they might want to stay a while."

        Christina turned around and she could see the field through a clear channel in the surrounding aspen and pine trees. "This spot is amazing," she said as she watched people assembling on the field in the distance. "How did you know about this place?"

        "Well," Richard started uncomfortably.

        "Forget I asked," Christina laughed, remembering Richard's reputation. "Let's just pretend this is the first time you've done this."

        Richard held Christina, insisting, "Everything with you feels like the first time."

        Christina blushed in spite of herself. "You're so full of baloney," Christina said as she looked away. Pretending that the man's comment had missed its mark, she opened her basket and removed a blanket.

        Richard took it from her and set up a spot adjacent to a large rock where they could sit. Once he was satisfied with the placement and had brushed off the dirt from the sides, he sat down leaning against the rock for support.

        Rather than sitting next to him, Christina sat between Richard's legs with her back against his chest. She continued unpacking her basket as Richard wrapped his arms around her. She produced two wine glasses and a corked bottle that contained lemonade that she'd made by hand that afternoon. She filled the glasses, handing one of them to Richard.

        "Lemonade?" Richard asked before taking a sip.

        "Yep," Christina bandied. "I suppose that dashes your hopes of getting me drunk tonight."

        "Miss Chase," he responded, "How charming it is that you think I need alcohol to seduce you."

        "You really think-" Christina started as Richard kissed the side of her neck. "... You're just so sure ... " she closed her eyes and started breathing heavily, She stopped her protests and leaned her head to the side as Richard tickled her neck with gentle kisses. When he paused, Christina rolled over so that she was face to face with the older man. "How do you know," Christina posited, "that I didn't expertly plan this whole night, and really I'm the one who's seducing you?"

        "In that case," he said in mock seriousness, "You're wasting your time. You had me at 'You're such a jerk'."

        "You are a jerk!" Christina said as she laughed. She pounded a fist on Richard's chest, proclaiming, "You're the biggest jerk in the world!"

        "That I am," he agreed.

        Christina touched the side of his face, adding, "You're my jerk." She then leaned forward, and the two of them kissed as the sun crept down the sky.

        Their coupling was interrupted by a mechanical vibration in Richard's pocket. He grabbed his Blackberry and looked at the incoming number. "One moment," he apologized. "I did actually have a phone consultation this evening. Looks like Jerry has a few more questions. I've got to take this."

        Christina watched patiently as Richard answered his phone.

        "Hey Jerry," he said. "Yes I know you still have reservations about pursuing the claim so aggressively ... I know ... No, I've already offered that ... It's not going to court," he added with absolute confidence, "I'll get them in a room and they'll settle long before it comes to that."

        Christina made eyes at the man that clearly said she was tired of the interruption.

        Richard held up a single finger to indicate that he'd only be a moment longer.

        The moment passed, soon followed by another, and Christina got tired of waiting. She leaned against Richard and whispered, "It's Christina time ... " into his other ear.

        Richard struggled to continue his business conversation, but the girl made it difficult.

        Moving on to the next level, Christina held Richard's earlobe between her teeth and began to lick it in small circles with the tip of her tongue. "Play with me," she purred into his ear.

        "Of course we can play- I mean, press charges," he corrected, "But I'm telling you it won't come to that. When have I ever steered you wrong?"

        Taking a more direct route, Christina snatched the phone from Richard's hands and bent over at the waist so she could hold it away from his reach. "Hi Doctor Jerry," she said as though she were Richard's secretary. "I'm sorry but Mr. Masters has another appointment- he's going to have to call you back later." She made two kissing noises into the phone before she turned off the power.

        "Christina!" Richard complained.

        "No!" she laughed.

        "Princess!" he asserted, though he couldn't be angry with the girl.

        She insisted "No no no!" as she dropped the phone into her basket. "I'm confiscating this. You can get it back after school." After she'd stolen the man's phone, she leaned back against his chest and batted her eyelashes at him.

        "That was important," he said.

        Christina pouted, "I'm important."

        "I know-"

        Christina raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I'm important," She reiterated.

        Giving in, Richard rolled her over and they resumed their necking.

        Before the fireworks had started, Christina rolled over and leaned back against her boyfriend. Looking up at the stars, she felt lightheaded from the extended make out session. She took a sip of her lemonade and confessed, "I love you."

        "I love you too, Princess," Richard said as he gave her a squeeze.

        "No ... " Christina continued. "I mean, I really love you. I know people say that a lot. They say it about ... I dunno ... everything. Like someone would say ... I love your hair ... or I love what you've done with the place ... or I love this tuna fish."

        "No one would say that about tuna fish," Richard joked.

        Christina smiled for a moment, but then became serious again. "I really love you," she repeated. "I've never felt this way about ... anyone. Ever. Lately, when I'm not with you it feels like ... I dunno. It's like everything is a commercial, and the movie doesn't start again until you're there."

        Richard said "I feel the same way," as he snuggled his date.

        "Really?"

        "Yes," he said tenderly. "You've turned my whole world upside down and now I find I can't go back to living right side up."

        "What if," Christina said as she watched the stars poke holes in the night, "we couldn't be together? Would you be sorry? Would you think everything was a waste of time?"

        Richard answered with the question, "Why wouldn't we always be together?"

        "I dunno," Christina lied. "What if I got, like run over by a truck or something?"

        "This is a strange game," Richard said with a laugh.

        "Would you wish you never met me?" Christina pressed.

        "No," Richard said honestly, sensing that Christina was taking the game too seriously. "Of course not. I cherish every moment that we've spent together, and I always will."

        "Promise me," Christina whispered.

        "I promise," Richard answered as the first firework of the night launched and exploded overhead.

 

        After the show had ended, Christina packed up her basket and Richard led her back towards the field under the light of the stars and the moon. Before they reached the field, Richard stopped and held his girlfriend.

        "Come over tonight," he suggested.

        "I have to take Nina and James home," Christina evaded.

        "After that. Anytime you want," he insisted, "Just come over tonight. We should talk."

        Christina hadn't reasoned out the logistics of dumping Richard. She couldn't very well break up with him on the way to the parking lot. She wasn't sure that there would ever be a right time, but maybe Richard had just offered her one. "We do need to talk," she agreed. "I have something important to tell you, but it can wait until later."

        "So you'll come?" he asked.

        "Yeah, of course I will," Christina said. She still wasn't sure how she was going to break up with the man, but at least now she had a time and a place.

        Richard brought Christina back to the field and parted ways before Christina found the others. Andrei was again making a show of carrying heavy things for Steph, and Nina was already talking about getting back to studying.

        After Christina had dropped James at his house and taken Nina home, she went to her room to wait. Andrei, as usual had not returned home, and Nina was lost in a sea of numbers, angles, and formulas.

        She waited until her aunt and uncle retired for the night before quietly sneaking downstairs. As usual, her attempts at stealth were defeated but the large German Shepherd that trailed her every move.

        "Not now, puppy," she complained to the dog in a hushed tone.

        Undeterred, Boris skulked behind.

        As she sneaked into the living room, she cast a glance at her aunt and uncle's bedroom door. Of course she didn't have a real curfew anymore, and she didn't need her uncle's permission to go out. Christina felt that she was doing him a sort of courtesy by sneaking out. She didn't want to rub her hard fought independence in his face nor did she want to explain to anyone where she was going.

        Boris poked his head between her legs as she reached the front door.

        "No!" she insisted quietly. Bending her knees, she met the dog at eye level. "You know, I'm fond of you too, but you can't follow me everywhere, okay?"

        The dog clearly did not agree and Christina had to struggle to get out the door without letting the dog slip out as well. Thankfully Boris did not complain after she'd left him behind.

        She was nervous as she started the car both because she didn't want to wake her aunt and uncle, and because she wasn't sure she would be able to break up with Richard. She gritted her teeth as she slowly drove down the gravel driveway with her lights off, then made her way through town. She searched for a credible reason she could use as an excuse for dumping Richard as she drove to his house, but a satisfactory one did not occur to her.

        Christina parked her aged Saab in the long driveway to Richard's house and stared at the lights in the window. How was she going to do this, she wondered? Would she have the courage to tell him to his face that they could never be together? All this time Christina thought that her former girlfriend Amy had been a coward for dumping her over the phone. Now that Christina found herself in a similar situation she wasn't so sure. Some things were so hard that maybe the coward's way was the only way. She took her pink cellphone out of her purse and flipped it open, unsure if she could even break up with Richard over the phone.

        "I'll just call and say I'm running late," she said to herself as she stalled. She invoked the first speed dial number and waited for Richard to answer his cell phone. The call didn't even ring; it went straight to voicemail. Could he know, she wondered? Was he avoiding her calls?

        Remembering that she'd stolen her boyfriend's Blackberry earlier that night, she peered into the back seat and saw that she still had her basket from the fireworks. Christina frowned as the gravity of the situation hit her. This was real. This was the end.

        "If you love him, you'll do it," she whispered to herself. That was a thin enough rationale to carry her further. Christina dropped her phone back into her purse, then took it and the wicker basket with her as she left her car. She ruffled through the basket as she approached the door, locating Richard's phone under the blanket. She turned it on and the flashing red light made her aware that her insistence that she be the focus of the evening had made Richard miss quite a few messages. That made her feel a little guilty, but on the grand scale of things, this was the least of her worries.

        Christina rang the doorbell, wondering if it would be weird to drop his phone on the doorstep and leave before he knew she was there. The window for that plan passed as Richard answered the door. The older man was wearing a loose fitting bathrobe and his hair was wet.

        "Hey Princess," he said as he slipped his arm around his girlfriend and pulled her into the house. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming," he explained. "Have a seat on the couch- I'll get changed and be right back."

        Holding up the Blackberry, Christina apologized in a small voice, "Sorry about your phone. I hope I didn't get you in any trouble."

        Without stopping to look at the display, Richard took the device from Christina's hand and tossed it aside. "Who cares," he crooned before he pulled her in for a deep kiss.

        Feeling the rush of tingles in her tummy, Christina almost forgot why she was there. "Hurry back," she said dreamily as Richard went upstairs.

         As she went down the steps from the landing to the recessed living room, Christina remembered how nervous she was the first time she'd entered Richard's enormous home. This time she felt a little sick as she was certain this was the last time she would ever see the inside of the house. She placed her keys, purse, and her basket on the glass coffee table next to some magazines and a remote control, then took a seat on the L-shaped leather couch. She was surprised when Richard rushed back down the stairs so shortly after leaving. He'd obviously thrown on a pair of pants and was still buttoning his shirt which he'd thrown over his still moist body. Christina couldn't help but peek at the man's chest as he finished dressing and sat next to her.

        "Hi," she said meekly, almost in a whisper.

        "At the fireworks tonight, " he started, "You said there was something important you had to tell me?"

        "Um," Christina evaded, "Yeah, but you said we had to talk ..."

        "That's okay," Richard assured. "If there's something bothering you, I want to know about it."

        "But you said ... I mean you said we should talk first," she struggled, "... so ... you say your thing and then I can say my thing, and we'll have all of our things out there."

        "Are you sure?" he asked as he brushed Christina's long blonde hair behind her right ear.

        Christina could feel the tingle building and nodded. "Yeah, you go first."

        Taking her hand, Richard said, "Christina, a lot has changed. I don't think I'm the same person I was when I first met you. It's difficult for me to imagine a time when you're not by my side. I don't like going to bed each night unless you're the last person I talk to. I didn't know it was possible to ... need someone so much. When you're not around it feels like ... I'm missing an arm. It's almost as if I'm not a whole person."

        Christina blushed as she looked into the older man's eyes. It wasn't just the words that were having an effect on her, it was the sincerity with which they were spoken.

        "Richard," she flushed.

        "Wait, let me finish," he insisted as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Do you know what tomorrow is?" he asked.

        "Um ... " Christina hedged. "The Fifth of July?"

        Richard laughed as he shook his head. "Tomorrow is our anniversary," he announced.

        "The anniversary of what?" Christina asked as she scrunched her nose. She was sure she was missing something.

        Richard clarified, "Our first date. It was one year ago tomorrow."

        Christina let out an incredulous cackle. "It most certainly was not!"

        "Yes it was," Richard insisted. He couldn't help but smile at the girl's indignant expression. "Don't you remember that I took you to the movies? With Nina?"

        "I'm not senile!" Christina complained. "But that was so not a date. I was Nina's chaperone!"

        "It was our first date," Richard reiterated, emphasizing the word "first".

        "Why do you think everything is a date?" Christina demanded. "I was trying to look out for my cousin, and you muscled your way in!"

        Richard couldn't contain himself at his girlfriend's miniature implosion.

        "That was NOT a date. And you were a complete jerk! I didn't even LIKE you!" she complained though her smile betrayed her.

        "Our first of many dates," Richard continued in spite of Christina's protests.

        She pointed a slender finger at Richard and complained "I STILL don't like you!"

        Richard leaned over, sliding one arm under the girls knees and the other behind the small of her back. He effortlessly picked her up from the couch and placed her down in his lap. "Yes you do," he crooned confidently.

        "No I don-" Christina started breathily.

        "Yes you do," he repeated.

        Christina put her arms around his shoulders and looked from the man's face, down his body, then back to his eyes. "Yeah, I do," she admitted before she put her lips to his.

        "Tomorrow will be one year since our first date," he continued after the kiss had ended. Without displacing Christina from his lap, he reached to the lower shelf of the glass coffee table and retrieved a small black box that was adorned with a sparkly silver bow. Giving it to the girl, he said, "This is for you."

        "You got me a present?" Christina sighed.

        Richard's only answer was a silent nod.

        Christina held the box in her palm and toyed with the end of the bow.

        "You really remembered our first date?" she asked.

        "I remember the first time I ever saw you. You were standing in Arnold's Electronics on your first day in town."

        Christina was completely floored. "You were a jerk then, too," she said as she looked dreamily up into his eyes.

        "Open your gift," he insisted.

        Christina started to pull at the bow then stopped. "I can't take this," she objected.

        "Of course you can," Richard insisted.

        "But, I didn't get you anything- it's not right."

        "You don't have to get me anything," Richard assured as he rubbed the girl's back.

        Christina looked at the box but then shook her head, "Technically our anniversary isn't until tomorrow, so I still have time to get something."

        "Princess," Richard urged, "I really think you should open it now."

        "Nope," Christina chirped as she dropped the box into her wicker basket with her picnic supplies. "You'll just have to wait and that's that."

        "Christina-" he started, but he was caught short by a well orchestrated pout from the girl who sat in his lap. "Okay," he eventually conceded, "Tomorrow."

        Christina sat in Richard's lap and gazed at him admiringly.

        She didn't stop when he asked, "What?"

        "I can't believe you remember where we first met," she gushed, "Or our anniversary."

        Richard joked, "So now you agree that it was a real date?"

        Christina's response was to playfully shove him in the chest. Her thrust left the top of his shirt slightly open and she stared at his exposed body. She slowly put her palm into his shirt and let it rest against him. The man's chest was hard and flat. It gave off heat like a furnace, and as she rubbed in a slow circular motion, she could feel hair tickling her fingers. She did not stop as she looked back into his eyes. The tingle that started in her tummy was spreading all over and constant contact with her boyfriend seemed to amplify it. Richard did not say a thing, but Christina could see the same heat behind his eyes that she felt on his body. She removed her hand for a moment so she could unbutton his shirt down to his waist, then placed both hands on his body, continuing her exploration.

        As she rubbed all over Richard's exposed chest and torso, Christina's breathing became heavy, matching the cadence of her boyfriend's. She felt a stirring underneath her and she could feel the heat from Richard intensify. Richard again took Christina in his arms and he slowly lowered her until she was laying flat on her back. He hovered over her, his knees rested on the couch between her legs, and he supported his upper body with his arms on either side of the girl. Christina continued stroking his chest as he lowered himself on to her. Just before their bodies made contact, Christina moved her hands around his shoulders and began to tussle his hair. She gasped as Richard started kissing her neck and exposed chest. She turned her head to the side to give him full access as she surrendered to passion.

        Christina felt Richard's fingers thread through the fingers of her left hand, which he then pinned against the couch above her head. The man's other hand slowly trailed from Christina's right shoulder blade down her side until it reached her thigh. The motion left a trail of sensation that made Christina feel dizzy and her legs go weak. When she felt the hand reverse course, caressing under her pantied bottom and pulling up the skirt of her dress, she moaned, "Wait."

        Richard felt as though he was a moment from ripping off Christina's clothes, but he made himself stop when he heard that word. He knew that the much younger girl had little experience and he needed to let her set the pace of what was happening.

        Christina slid her free hand between their bodies until it reached her thighs. Rather than pull her skirt back down, she felt the contours of Richard's penis through his pants. Richard stopped his assault on the girl's neck and shoulders and looked into her eyes. Christina took her hand off Richard's manhood to guide his free hand to her waist. She then replaced her palm onto his penis and nodded.

        Richard did not need any more encouragement. He left his hands where they were and began kissing Christina passionately. All the while the girl massaged the front of his pants.

        Christina was completely lost in the moment. It was as though all of her resistance had melted away, and all of the desire she'd been holding back for months came spilling out of her. She stopped manipulating the man long enough to unbuckle his pants and pull down his fly. Reaching in, she fondled him through his boxers. She had no idea so much heat could radiate from a man. As she pulled him free through the opening in his underwear, she made direct skin to skin contact with him. It was electric. She rubbed up and down his manhood while she felt the rest of his body pinning her down. It wasn't long before she wrapped her hand around the hard shaft and started stroking.

        "Christina," Richard moaned as he lost another measure of control. He began pumping his hips, moving himself in an out of his girlfriend's hand.

        Christina had never experienced anything as animalistic as this before in her life. The small amount of fluid that was leaking out of Richard's penis had somewhat lubricated her hand, but the increasing force of the thrusts were becoming hard to handle. She anchored her hand to the inside of her thigh and Richard slid himself between it and her hand. With the more direct contact, Christina's whole body was rising and falling upon each impact and retraction.

        "Kiss me," she begged as the pace quickened. Richard devoured her from the base of her neck back up to her mouth. Christina could no longer contain the feelings in her body. It was as if she were a tuning fork that couldn't stop vibrating. The feelings kept increasing in intensity instead of dissipating. While this had started with her in control of the stroking, Christina was now riding the rhythmic thrusts of her partner. It was as if she'd set in motion a chain reaction that she could no longer command, and that more than anything pushed her own pleasure to the next level.

        "Slow down," Richard grunted as he reached the edge. "We have to slow down."

        Christina however did not want to slow down. While her hand had been only receiving thrusts, she began pumping in earnest again.

        Richard again grunted, but this time there were no words. Christina was sending him over the edge. He looked down at the girl pinned beneath him. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back, framed by the sweaty tangle of her long blonde hair. "We have to-" he started again, but it was too late. The sensations and the sight of the girl he loved in the throes of passion was too much. Closing his eyes, and gritting his teeth, he was overtaken by an explosive orgasm.

        Christina felt one more mighty thrust as Richard's penis crested just beneath the lace wreathed edge of her underwear. His manhood tensed, and she felt hot fluid erupt up the side of her thigh and onto her panties. Her eyes went wide and she looked up at the man above. She saw a look of pained bliss on his face, though with his eyes closed he could not see her look of shock. Again he erupted, and Christina felt the warmth shoot up to her tummy. The man shot three more times, and with each delivery, she felt the pole in her hand tense and the impact of a mini thrust from his hips.

        Fully spent, the man collapsed on top of her. Christina was overwhelmed by heat, sweat, and labored breathing. While she relaxed her grip, she didn't let go of Richard's penis. As he lay on top of her, she felt the member slowly begin to deflate, though not by much. Regaining some of his energy, Richard lifted his chest off the girl and looked down at her. Her face was flush and she appeared to be almost as out of breath as he was. He brushed the hair from her face and gave her one final, lingering kiss.

        "That was amazing," he said, practically gasping.

        Christina for her part did not say a word. She was still processing what she had just done.

        Aware of the mess that he'd just made between the girl's legs, he slowly got off of her and said, "Wait here, I'll be right back."

        Christina felt Richard's manhood slip from out of her hand as he left her to get a towel. She shook as she sat up and looked at her hand. It was covered with his seed. She could feel the sticky warmth all over her thighs. She could feel it soaking into her panties. It was too much for her to handle. As the reality of what she'd done sank in, she began to panic. She felt the same terrifying tightness in her chest, and the only thing she could think of was escape. Christina reached out for her keys with her right hand but stopped when she saw the fluid dripping from it. She pulled that hand back as though it got too close to a hot stove and lunged forward with the left. She scooped up her keys and in the same hand grasped the handle of the wicker basket. She swung the basket as she leapt from the couch, knocking everything else off the table as she ran.

        She was already out the door before her boyfriend had even begun to descend the staircase from the second floor. Holding her right hand aloft as though it were infected, Christina dropped the basket and her keys so she could have a free hand to open the door to her Saab. The door open, Christina threw the basket into the back seat then got into her car as fast as she could. Still holding her hand away from herself, she struggled to start the engine with her left hand. As anxious as she was, she was able to pull off the maneuver, and she nearly ran over a row of garbage cans as she operated the car as best she could with a single hand.

        Christina didn't know where she was going, but she was sure she couldn't go home in the state she was in. Still, driving as fast as she could through the darkness did wonders to alleviate the intense fight-or-flight instinct that had paralyzed her rational mind. Just before she reached the edge of downtown, Christina pulled the car over to the side of the road and parked. With her one clean hand, she reached into her basket and yanked out the blanket, causing everything else to spill out into her back seat. She used it to wipe her right hand as clean as she could manage. Pulling up the hem of her skirt, she examined between her legs- she was a complete mess. She got out of the car and looked around before stripping off her soiled panties. Holding up the heart printed gauze underwear, she saw that it was completely ruined, and she could smell Richard on them. She let them drop to the ground and used the blanket to clean between her legs the best that she could. Her thighs still felt sticky, and she could sense dampness on her dress. This was the best she could do given the circumstances. She wrapped her panties in the blanket and threw the bundle as far into the woods as she could muster. Christina was still reluctant to use her right hand as she reentered the car and started back down the road into town.

        There was only one place she could go in the shape she was in- Steph's. When she got into town, she parked across the street from the salon and scanned for any sign of Andrei. She would be mortified if her cousin saw her like this. Christina looked around for her cell phone, but she couldn't find her purse. She winced realizing that she must have left it at Richard's house. At least that meant he couldn't call her. It also meant that she couldn't call Steph either, to see if she was alone. Out of options, Christina got out of the car and went to the door next to the salon entrance.

        "Please be home," she said to her self as she rang the buzzer.

        "Who is it?" came Steph's voice from the intercom.

        "It's me, Christina," she pleaded, "can you come down?"

        "Sure" she answered. A moment later Steph appeared at the door. "What's up Str ..." Steph trailed off as she saw the erratic state of Christina's hair and the distraught look on her face.

        "Is Andrei here?" Christina asked as she nervously scratched at her scalp.

        "He just left," Steph answered. "What happened to you?"

        Christina pleaded, "Can I come in?"

        "Of course you can," Steph assured Christina as she took her hand and led her up to the apartment.

        "I've got to-" Christina started as she awkwardly made her way to the bathroom. Christina ran cold water from the tap and splashed it on her face. She then used hand soap to adequately clean her hand and her legs, though her dress still bore signs of what had transpired.

        "Blondie?" Steph asked as she knocked on the door.

        When Christina was as clean as she could get, she opened the door and faced her friend.

        "What is going on?" Step asked with concern.

        "Richard and I ..." Christina began.

        "Richard and you what?"

        Christina shook her head trying to verbalize what she'd done.

        Putting her hands on Christina's shoulders, Steph looked in her friends eyes and asked, "Did he hurt you?"

        "No," Christina insisted as she put her hands to her temples. "I TOUCHED him," she explained as tactfully as she could. She made a double pumping motion with her hand, repeating, "I touched him."

        "Oh," Steph said. She made none of her usual innuendos or plays on words as she could tell that Christina was greatly disturbed by the incident. "... Did he make you-"

        "No," Christina interrupted. "I touched him," she said again, emphasizing the "I". "He ..." she trailed off as she held up the skirt of her dress. She took Steph's nod as a sign of understanding. "I completely freaked out."

        Steph asked "What did you say?"

        "What?"

        "After ... " Steph motioned to Christina's dress. "What did you say?"

        Shaking her head, Christina explained, "I didn't say anything. He left the room, and I just ran."

        "You ran?" Steph repeated incredulously.

        "I had to get out of there. I ... I couldn't deal with it."

        "Don't you think you should call him?" Steph reasoned. "I mean, you just took off- I can't imagine what he's thinking."

        "Steph," Christina pleaded, "I just can't ... I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with HIM right now."

        Steph surveyed her friend, deciding that she was in no state of mind to talk to her boyfriend at the moment regardless of what he might think.

         "Ok, here's the plan," Steph began, taking control of the situation. She took Christina by the hand and took her to the bedroom. She made a quick scan of her clothes and tossed a long khaki cargo skirt and a green top onto the bed. She also grabbed a pair of flip flop sandals from the floor of the closet, then grabbed a fresh pair of plain white cotton panties from her drawer. She assembled the clothes in a heap and handed them to her friend. "Go get changed," Steph instructed. "Take off everything you're wearing now and put these on."

        Christina went to the bathroom and started undressing.

        "Just leave your dress on the floor," Steph called from the bedroom.

        In a haze, Christina put on Steph's clothes and looked in the mirror. Her hair was still a complete mess. Steph's clothes didn't quite fit Christina's tall frame. The shirt exposed a bit of her midriff, and the skirt, while long on Steph, ended at Christina's ankles. Even though the fit was off, Christina already felt better being out of her soiled dress.

        When Christina reentered the bedroom she saw that Steph was on the phone.

        "That's right Mrs. L," she said. "Ol' Christina can't exactly hold her liquor so she's gonna bunk with me tonight ... No, she's fine, but I wouldn't feel right having her drive home, and besides, it'll be a kick to occupy a different Levchenko for a change ... Okay ... yep ... I'll have her call in the morning. Thanks Mrs. L." Steph ended the call then sat Christina down on the bed. As Christina watched, Steph filled a duffel bag with various articles of clothing.

        "What's that for?" Christina asked, somewhat more grounded than she had been when she arrived.

        "We're moving you to a safe house," Steph announced. "If I know men, and I'm pretty sure I do, Richard is probably going to either call here or worse- show up when he can't get in touch with you. So, we're spending the night at my folks place on the other side of the mountain. I'd rather avoid any domestic disputes tonight. We can go drop in on Richard tomorrow together, okay?"

        "Okay," Christina repeated. "Hey ... if it's okay, don't let Andrei-"

        "Are you kidding?" Steph interjected as she stopped stuffing the duffel bag. "I know I tell your cousin everything, but some things stay in the sisterhood." After Steph finished with the bag, she fetched Christina's dress from the bathroom floor and took it to the small washer / dryer unit hidden away in a closet next to the bathroom. She set the machine to wash, then returned to collect her friend.

        "Come on, Blondie," she said as she helped Christina up. "Let's blow this joint." When the girls got down to the street, Steph demanded, "Keys."

        Christina gave Steph her keys and got into the passenger side of her car.

        "If we take your car," Steph explained, as she started the Saab, "then if Double-O Lawyer should happen to give me a drive by, he'll see my car out back and no sign of you."

        "What if he goes to my house?" Christina asked in a worried tone.

        Steph shot her friend a serious look, expounding, "Christina, describe to me the alternate universe in which your boyfriend wakes your uncle up in the middle of the night because he wants to discuss a hand job gone awry."

        Burying her hand in her face, Christina muttered, "Right."

        It took about twenty minutes to reach the Bonacelli strawberry farm. Christina had never been there before, though both Steph and Andrei had told her about it. Steph parked Christina's car behind the barn, then grabbed her duffel from the back seat.

        "Everything's gonna be fine," she assured Christina as she led her to the door. Steph knocked and a woman that Christina thought looked like an older and surprisingly fit for her age version of Steph, eventually answered the door. She was dressed in a long cotton nightgown and a robe and looked somewhat surprised to see her daughter in the middle of the night.

        "Stephanie?" she yawned.

        "Hey Mom," Steph said as she and Christina entered the house. "Look," she said in a hushed tone, "We've sort of got a situation here. It's cool if Christina and I crash here tonight, right?"

        "Christina," Steph's mother said, acknowledging the girl with what Christina thought was a New York accent. "Of course you can stay." She put an arm around Christina adding, "It's about time you dropped by. Stephanie and Andrei talk about you all the time. I feel like you're already a member of the family." The woman sized up Christina who still was a bit rattled and gave her a hug. "Do you need anything?" she asked. "Are you hungry?"

        "I think we can take it from here Mom," Steph assured.

        "Who is it, Mary?" called a voice from the other room.

        "Go back to bed, Anthony" Steph's mother replied. "It's just Stephanie."

        "Does she know what time it is?" he complained.

        "Yes," Steph's mother shouted back sarcastically. "I raised her, and I made sure she could tell time before she moved out." Turning to Christina, she put a hand on her shoulder, saying, "You let me know if you need anything."

        Christina responded, "Thank you Mrs. Bonacelli."

        "Come on," Steph instructed after her mother had left the room. She guided Christina to a bedroom on the second floor of the house and started unpacking the duffel bag. Handing Christina a fluffy zebra striped robe, she said, "You should take a shower. It'll make you feel better."

        Nodding, Christina took the robe. She undressed to her panties with her back to Steph, then slipped on the robe. Once it was covering her body, she slipped out of Steph's panties and went to the upstairs bathroom. Steph was right; standing in the hot steam and shampooing her sweaty hair put a lot of distance between Christina and what had happened. After she stepped out of the shower, Christina wrapped a towel around her long hair, put on the robe, then returned to the bedroom. Steph was already wearing pajama pants adorned with musical notes and a plain black tank top. She handed Christina a white and blue striped nightshirt that she'd packed before they left. Steph would have packed pajamas for her friend, but nothing she owned would have been a comfortable fit.

        Christina pulled up the panties before taking off her robe and the towel, then quickly pulled the nightshirt over her head with her back to her friend.

        Steph had Christina sit on the bed while she collected the robe and draped it over a chair. She then took the towel and sat on the bed next to Christina. As she toweled Christina's hair dry, she asked, "Feel better?"

        "Yeah," Christina admitted. "Thanks, Steph."

        She replied, "It's the least I can do. I kind feel guilty after encouraging you to jump your boyfriend."

        "You didn't do anything," Christina insisted. "It was all me."

        "Was it really that awful?"

        "No," Christina admitted. "It was actually ... pretty ... um ... intense. it's just ... I'm clearly not capable of having a physical relationship."

        Steph offered, "Things probably would go better if you hadn't bolted."

        "I know," Christina frowned. "I guess it was a dumb thing to do. You know, the thing is, I went to his place to break up with him."

        "Break up with him?" Steph repeated. "Why?"

        "The same reason I ran," Christina complained. "I'm just not able to process this."

        "Stretch," Steph said as she finished Christina's hair, "I don't think I'm off base here when I tell you that you're the worst break up artist I've ever seen."

        Christina paused for a moment and broke out in high pitched, nervous laughter. "No kidding," she agreed.

        Steph pulled back the covers of the bed and after she and Christina got in, she turned off the light on the night stand.

        "Thanks again," Christina said in the dark. "I'm sorry I'm so ... damaged."

        "You're not damaged," Steph said plainly, "it's awkward for everyone the first time. It just so happens your first love and tug came a few years later than most, that's all."

        "People don't run away," Christina insisted.

        Steph rolled over to face Christina and whispered to make sure there was no chance her parent's could hear what she was about to say. "You never repeat this, okay? When I gave my first blow job at the tender age of sixteen, I had no clue what I was doing. I actually thought you were supposed to blow. Anyway, the guy, who shall remain nameless, took matters into his own hands and shoved it so far in my mouth that I actually threw up. My first time doing anything serious, and I tossed my cookies all over the guy's cock. And not just a little bit- we're talking major tossage. You want to talk about killing the mood? It doesn't get worse than that."

        "That is pretty bad," Christina acknowledged. "But at least you didn't flee the hand job."

        Both of the girls erupted in laughter. "She's fleeing the hand job," Steph whispered. "Somebody call a cop!"

 

        The next morning, Christina dressed in Steph's clothes and had breakfast with her and her parents. While she felt a little self conscious because of the circumstances of her visit, she decided that the Bonacellis reminded her a bit of her aunt and uncle, and they made her fell very much at home. She listened at length as Mr. Bonacelli related the story of how they moved to Oak Grove and his running of the hardware store for over twenty years before his wife had persuaded him to take a chance on growing strawberries. Christina promised that she'd visit again to learn how to make preserves and jam. She could sense that Steph no longer found these activities amusing, but it was all new to Christina.

        Christina had never had a friend like Steph before. She wondered what life would have been like had she known Steph when she was still living with her mother and her stepfather. Rather than staying out because she was afraid to go home, she could have hung with Steph. It was comforting to know that there was someone she could count on when she felt like there was nowhere else she could turn.

         Feeling much better than she had the night before, Christina was the one who drove her car back to Steph's salon.

        "Are you sure you can handle this alone?" Steph asked as she got out of the car.

        Also getting out, Christina walked Steph back to her door. "Yeah," Christina answered. "I shouldn't have freaked last night and I really should clean up my own mess."

        "You sure?" Steph pressed. "I don't mind being the Goose to your Maverick."

        Christina shook her head. "No, really. You've already done enough." She embraced Steph and they held each other. "Thank you so much," Christina whispered.

        "No problem, Blondie," Steph said as the hug ended. "You gimme a call later, okay?"

        "I will," Christina promised as she went back to her car.

        As Christina drove back to Richard's, she became frustrated with herself. None of this would have happened if she would have just dumped Richard as she'd planned. She also found it hard to forgive herself for giving in to her carnal urges. Most of all she wished she hadn't left Richard after their encounter. Not only did she see herself as weak for suffering from her panic attacks, but she was now very worried that she hurt the man's feelings. After all, what would she think if Richard had run away from her after what they'd shared?

        Christina parked the car in Richard's driveway, noting that his Lexus was there. "You're gonna go in there," she said to herself, "you're not going to lose it. Just talk to him. Just tell him you freaked out, and he'll understand." Christina exhaled deeply before turning off the engine. He loved her, Christina reminded herself as she walked to the door. She couldn't fathom why, but the man did love her. He'd have to forgive her.

        She felt her stomach lurch as she pressed the doorbell. Her tummy twisted in knots as the moments it took for Richard to answer the door felt like an hour to the waiting girl. When he opened the door, Christina saw that he was wearing the same clothes as the night before. She could tell from the dark circles about his eyes that he hadn't slept. Worse than that, there was a sadness in Richard's eyes. If she had to pick a single word to describe how he looked, she would have picked "broken". Richard looked as though his soul had been sliced in two and it crushed Christina to know that she was the one responsible.

        Her lips dropped into a sorrowful frown and she said, "I'm so sorry." Without waiting to be invited in, she walked past Richard and down the stairs from the landing to the living room. She saw that the magazines, the remote control, and her purse were all laying on the floor. She must have knocked them over when she'd fled last night. Her phone and various other articles from her purse were strewn about. It looked like Richard had not moved a thing from last night. Turning to face her boyfriend, she continued, "I shouldn't have left you last night. I ... I just freaked out. It's not because I didn't want to do ... what we did ... I was just overwhelmed. I know that I hurt you, and there's no excuse for that."

        Richard pinched his nose between his and rubbed his palm down has face as he attempted to process everything. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a card. His voice straining, both from lack of sleep and emotion, he handed the card to Christina, asking, "How do you explain this?"

        Christina took the card. It was her driver's license, which clearly read, "Christopher Chase," and had a picture of her as she used to be. At the sight of her former self, Christina's lungs collapsed. All the air in her body and the room seemed to dissipate. Pain seized her chest and her hearing diminished as though she'd been submerged underwater. She dropped the license from her shaking hands and she felt sick as the world began to spin.

        Richard began to fade from her vision as she struggled futilely to breathe. Before the end came, the only word she was able to force painfully through her lips was, "Please." Her head tilted back as she slipped out of consciousness, and her body soon followed. Christina fell backward into the coffee table. The upper pane of glass shattered as she made contact, sending fragments in all directions as she plummeted. Her body rotated slightly as it collided with the lower pane, and it too exploded into splinters. Reaching the floor, the girl was left motionless, lying in a sea of broken shards.

 

        "She's coming around," Doctor Stone said as Christina slowly opened her eyes.

        As Christina stirred, her eyes focused on the kind old man's wrinkled face.

        "Hello there, young lady," Doctor stone said warmly, "It looks like you took quite a spill."

        Looking around, Christina realized she was still in Richard's house. She was lying on the couch, and the coffee table was completely wrecked. All the glass had been removed from the thin frame. While there were no large pieces of glass remaining, she could see blood stains on the carpet and small glass fragments that sparkled in the light. Doctor Stone was taping a bandage on Christina's left arm.

        "It could have been much worse," he said as he finished attending to her wound. "It's no small miracle you didn't sever a major artery." The man dropped a roll of white tape and a small pair of scissors in an old fashioned leather medical bag then asked, "Do you remember what happened?"

        "I-" Christina started, though her voice gave out. "I had an attack."

        "She passed out," Richard added.

        Christina looked up and saw that Richard was standing behind her. She wasn't sure what he had told Doctor Stone though the man still had the same devastated look on his face.

        "You need to clean and redress this once a day," he instructed. "It's one doozy of a scratch, alright. We just need to make sure it doesn't get infected. Can you do that?"

        Christina's only response was a nod.

        Doctor Stone took a small pill bottle out of his bag and placed it in Christina's hand. "This is a mild sedative," he explained. "Now, I'm not normally disposed to prescribing medication to deal with anxiety. I figure it's best to pull the problem out by the roots. I'm giving you these as an option; a last resort of sorts. If you feel a spell coming on that you can't handle, you can take one of these."

        Again Christina nodded.

        "A last resort," Doctor Stone reiterated. "Stick with your breathing exercises and call me if you have the need."

        "Yes Sir," Christina responded.

        "As for the arm, and everything else," Doctor Stone said as he gently touched Christina's temple, causing the girl to wince, "Aspirin will do nicely." The man paused for a moment to study Christina's eyes. "I wonder though ..." he speculated. "What could possibly trouble such a pretty young thing such as yourself so much."

        Christina didn't answer. She broke eye contact with her doctor and stared at the floor.

        "Do you want me to drive you home?" Doctor Stone asked.

        Christina considered it. While she still had a strong urge to flee, she was beginning to realize that running away from her problems tended to make them much worse. "No sir," she replied. "Thank you."

        Doctor Stone stood up, and took off his round rimmed spectacles. As he wiped them with a cloth from his pocket, he said, "Tell Misha to expect me tomorrow. I'll stop in to see how you're doing."

        "Yes Sir," Christina answered weakly.

        After Doctor Stone rested his glasses back on his nose, he took one last look at Christina and Richard. Had he not witnessed Christina's prior episode in Ariel Rose he might have suspected Richard of assault. He saw no evidence of malice in the man's face and judged it was safe for him to leave the girl in his care.

        "Remember," he called to Christina as he went to the door. "You can call for anything." He glanced at Richard, then back to his patient. "And I mean, ... anything."

        Christina sat up on the couch feeling completely drained. She had no recollection of falling into the coffee table, but the steady throbbing she felt on her arm and elsewhere was evidence enough. She sat in silence before her boyfriend for what felt like an eternity. When she'd mustered enough energy to look at him, she softly pleaded, "Please don't take my family away from me."

        "What?" Richard asked as though he was a moment away from screaming at the girl.

        "I'll do anything you want," she begged. "Just don't tell anyone."

        "Don't tell anyone?" He repeated. Then he erupted, "Don't tell anyone! What could possibly make you think that I would want anyone to know?" He paced angrily, shouting, "What the hell is wrong with you? Is this some kind of a game?"

        Christina couldn't even shake her head, she sat there frozen on the couch.

        "I mean-" he struggled. "I was in-" he was beyond words. He clenched his hands to his face while exhaling like a raging bull. "... Is this really you?"

        In her mind Christina nodded, but her body did not move an inch.

        When he was able to look at Christina again, he asked, "Can you drive?"

        "Yeah I think so," she answered in a tiny, spent voice.

        "Then get out," he said coldly and definitively.

        Christina did not say a word as she collected her purse. She didn't look at Richard as she went to the door. She didn't feel her legs as she walked to her car. It was as though she were in a trance; too many impossible things had just happened to her in the past two days and she couldn't keep up. It was as though she'd unplugged. It was the only thing she could do to keep from coming apart. The world barely registered as she drove home. She wasn't sure, but she may have run a red light as she went through town. Either way, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

        Christina parked her car on the side of the house and went in through the front door. Boris greeted her, though she paid no attention to the dog. Nina who was at the kitchen table writing out trigonometric identities as to better commit them to memory heard Christina come in.

        "Christina," she said as she went to the living room, "What were you and Steph up to-" but she stopped when she saw her cousin's expressionless face and the small red line of scratches that ran from her left eyebrow down to her ear. "Mom," Nina said with fright, "Something's wrong!"

        Christina ignored her younger cousin as she went up the stairs to the second floor. "Mom!" she heard Nina call again as she went into her bedroom. As she walked past the bed, she pulled the blanket off the top, causing the pillows and a stuffed bear to tumble to the ground. Dragging the blanket behind her, she opened her closet door and stepped inside. Closing the door behind her, Christina crouched down amongst her shoes and inbetween her hanging clothes and sat against the wall in darkness. Clutching the blanket with her arms and legs, Christina clung to it and wept.

 

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Edited into coherence by Holly H. Hart.

Thanks to Sephrena Miller for taking an early read.