Complicit in a Lie Revisited Chapter 7

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Complicit In a Lie
Revisited Chapter 7

By Jamie Lee

Author's Note: When I first wrote Complicit In a Lie, I had no thoughts, or ideas, to write a sequel. But thanks to a few readers, who asked about a sequel, ideas formed that made writing this sequel possible. It is necessary to have read Complicit In a Lie to understand why Charles is now with Jane, who the boy arriving in Kingston is and how he's involved in Charles' Court case. And to understand where Mr. Corporate, George Strom, fits into this story. This story starts off after Charles says, "When do we start," in Complicit in a Lie. So if you haven't read Complicit In a Lie, the beginning of this story won't make any sense. Hint hint!

Chapter 7

Marie sat down by the discouraged young girl and told her, "Ah mon cheri, hold your head up, it's so beautiful. One of such beauty shouldn't be seen in such a manner."

Charlotte laughed at Marie's attempt to cheer her up, and sat up and became the proper young lady sitting in a chair. "Marie, I know the material of the classes I'm currently taking. I know the material for the classes I'll take next year and the year after that. I can work Algebra, Trig, and Calculus problems in my sleep. I can quote dates, places, and people in my History class without missing a beat. I know the material for Chemistry and Physics, but no one at that school will grant me advance placement because 'it's for my own good.' I've ruined the bell curve in every one of my classes because I ace each and every test. I've been called teacher's pet, show-off, snob, and a few words that would upset Aunt Jane if I said them. I'm no longer learning anything at that school, but, 'It's for my own good,'" Charlotte said with contempt in her voice. Marie pulled a tissue out of the pocket in her apron and gave it to Charlotte, just as Jane returned to the kitchen carrying all of the sets of papers. She handed them to Marie before sitting down across from Charlotte, who was blotting her eyes to try and keep tears from spoiling her makeup.

The three were silent as Marie perused the first set of papers, before turning it over and setting it aside. This went on until she turned the last set of papers over and set them aside, and said, "Eh bien je serai (Well I will be.)," before looking at Jane, and telling her, "She is further along than we can deal with, cheri. Neither you nor I can possibly provide what she now needs. And neither can that school of hers. Do you have a plan in mind, oui?"

What had astonished Marie, as she looked over each set of papers, wasn't what she saw but what was missing. Red marks, marks which would indicate the answer to a question was incorrect. There were none. Each set of papers had a '100' written on the front page, indicating the answers within that set of papers were all correct. This is why Marie knew she and Jane were out of their league in planning lessons for Charlotte, she was far beyond anything they usually planned for their girls.

Jane had smiled to herself when she saw Charlotte sitting up like a proper young lady, when she returned to the kitchen. She looked at Charlotte's red eyes, and knew she'd made the correct decision not to admonish the girl because of her posture. It may have done more harm than good. "Oui, Marie, I have a plan, which has been put in place. Charlotte, starting Monday you will have a special tutor who can meet your needs academically. She was like you in school, bored, passed every test in all of her classes, studied on her own, and like you, was refused advance placement. It wasn't until her parents pulled her from the public school and sent her to a school that allowed her to learn as fast as she wanted, that she showed what she could truly do. I believe you'll find she WILL challenge you Charlotte, so be prepared to work hard. She already told me she won't tolerate any whining on your part, or excuses of why you didn't get the work completed. Shall I call her back and tell her you aren't interested in a greater challenge than what you've faced at your old school? Or are you hungry for more?"

The silence that lingered was like the time it takes for a drop of water to fall from the end of a facet to the sink. "Please don't make the call," Charlotte said, tears building in her eyes, "I need her as much as I need you and Tante Marie." Her emotional bank was too full, and Charlotte broke down and cried. Marie was sitting the closest to Charlotte, and scooted over to Charlotte to pull her into a hug as the girl cried. "Tout ira bien, mon amour, you wait and see." When Marie looked at Jane she could see the fury in Jane's eyes. Here is a girl who has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and doesn't know what to do. First they learn she's been falsely accused of being involved in a shoplifting incident, now they learn she may be a genius in her own right and her old school thinks it best she stays with her own class. Thereby preventing her from taking advanced classes. Marie knew what Jane wanted to do. She also knew Jane wouldn't do it because she'd never lower herself to the level of morons.

Marie and Jane were so focused on Charlotte that they didn't hear Francis come into the kitchen. It wasn't until Francis said, with a catch in her voice, "Um, Aunt Jane. I've finished my paper," the two women looked up and took in Francis, standing just inside the kitchen with tears flowing down her cheeks.

They saw her holding the paper she'd been writing and also saw she was shaking. Jane stretched out her arm and told Francis, "Please let me have your paper, Francis." Francis walked closer to Jane, handed her the paper, then was shocked when Jane pulled to her and held her. Tears flowing freely down Francis' cheeks, she asked, "Is Charlotte going to be okay? I can try to help her if you want."

Jane reached up and wiped tears off Francis' cheeks before telling the girl, "Charlotte is feeling everything she's been through, right now. She needs our help to get through it, so if you wish to help, continue being her friend."

It wasn't much longer until Charlotte stopped crying. And much longer until they heard, "Danke, dass du hier bist, Tante Marie (Thanks for being here, Aunt Marie.)," from Charlotte. She chuckled and said, "I must look a fright."

Marie lifted Charlotte's head by the chin and said, "Ja, wie ein Waschbär. Nochmal (Yes, like a raccoon. Again.)." Both laughed, then Charlotte took a tissue and wiped her eyes, before seeing Jane holding Francis, who looked the same.

She then chuckled and told Francis, "We've done it again, Francis. We look like raccoons. Aunt Jane, may we be excused to redo our faces?"

Jane laughed then said, "If you two keep this up, we'll run out of makeup for the two of you." Then nodding her head towards the kitchen door, Jane told them, "Go. Go and freshen up. Then come back and help get our supper ready." The two women watched as Francis waited for Charlotte to meet up with her, before they put their arms around each other and left the kitchen. Jane looked to the ceiling, then told Marie, "Those two are having an effect on us, my dear friend. I can't find it within myself to be my usual grizzly bear that I know I should be with those two girls."

Marie nodded her head in understanding, then told Jane, "Maybe not with these two girls, cheri. But you and I will get our chance on Monday, when the one who caused all of this arrives." Marie saw the fury return to Jane's eyes. Toby was in for a bumpy ride when he arrived on Monday. And he didn't know it. Yet.

The girls had freshened their faces and were now setting the dining room table for supper, before going into the kitchen and helping Marie prepare what they'd be having that evening. Jane had gone to the Study in order to calm down and make plans for their new girl arriving Monday. She went through the exercises learned years ago, and often practiced during a particular trying time with one of her girls, before pulling up the records she'd received on Toby Camber.

She first looked at his school records, noticing while not a high achiever, he wasn't failing any of his classes. She also noticed notations which had been placed in his file by his school counselor, stating that, 'While Toby doesn't achieve high academic scores, he is hiding his ability to actually achieve higher scores. He is also hiding something which prevents him from doing better in his classes. Something which frightens him more than failing school.' Jane mulled over 'frightens him more than failing school,' and wondered what could frighten a boy more than failing his classes. His home life, perhaps? Being threatened by someone he knew or by bullies in school or in his neighborhood? It can't be because he is coming here, she thought, since all of this occurred before he was caught shoplifting at Taylor's. And since nothing was said about his causing trouble at school, or being involved in trouble at school, then it had to be his home life or something in his neighborhood. Jane dismissed that for right now, they'd eventually learn the truth. And it'd be a truth that would send Jane into an almost murderous rage.

It was Charlotte who knocked on the Study door, waited until Jane said, "Enter," and came into the study to inform Jane that supper was now ready. Jane thanked Charlotte then asked, "How are you feeling dear?"

"Better, Aunt Jane. Thank you for asking." Then, as per the instructions Jane had given the girls about coming into the study, after informing Jane supper was ready, Charlotte took 'the book' off the bookshelf and proceeded to circuit the study the required five times. When Charlotte had finished her five circuits of the study with 'the book' balanced on her head, they left the study together, Charlotte opening the study door and letting Jane leave first, then following her and closing the door behind her.

Jane steered the conversations away from academics, in case Charlotte wasn't as 'better' as she claimed, and started asking Charlotte about her hobbies and other areas of interests. When they finished supper, and the table had been cleared, and the kitchen cleaned, Jane gave the girls the rest of the evening as free time, hoping they'd spend the time together, getting to know each other better.

When 9 p.m. arrived, Jane sought out the girls, finding them in the library discussing a book they both had read not long ago. They tried to get Jane involved, asking her opinion about this character or that character, but Jane told them she would discuss the characters with them another time, since it was time they got ready for bed.

Jane had gone up with Francis, as usual, while Marie went up with Charlotte. As Charlotte was undressing she asked, "Tante Marie, aren't we going to bed rather early? We've been getting ready for bed at 10 p.m. since I've been here."

Marie chuckled, sat Charlotte down with her on the bed, then told her, "Tomorrow, you are going to experience what Jane has her girls do not long after they arrive. You will need to be quick and accurate, or Jane will be very upset with you. You must also remember what she told you to do when you enter the study, or she will increase the number of times it must be done. Because of this, you will need all the sleep you can get. So, dépêchez-vous (hurry up). Clean your face and get your shower. Jane does not want you to perdre du temps." Charlotte leaned over, kissed Marie on the cheek, stood up and continued undressing, placing her dress in the laundry hamper. She unhooked her stocking from the garter belt she wore, removed them and as she'd been shown, folded them before placing them in the correct drawer in the dresser. She removed the garter belt, put it away before selecting clean panties and a matching bra from the appropriate drawers. She then went into the bathroom, and as Marie watched, cleaned off her makeup, checking in the mirror to make sure she'd removed it all. Marie then stepped out of the bathroom as Charlotte removed her panties and bra and stepped into the shower, remembering to put on a shower cap. Once she finished her shower, had dried off and removed the shower cap, put on her bra and panties, she returned to the chest of drawers and chose a nightie to sleep in. The one she chose complimented the bra and panties she was wearing, something not lost on Marie. Charlotte then sat down at the vanity and proceeded to apply moisturizing cream to her face and arms and legs, something she thought felt nice, but not something Charles Thorton would think of doing.

After getting into bed, Marie kissed her on the forehead and bid her, "Bonne nuit et fait de beaux rêves."

Charlotte smiled then replied, " Merci, tante Marie. Et pour toute votre aide." Marie smiled, then shut off the overhead light before closing Charlotte's bedroom door as she left the bedroom, causing the night vision camera and motion sensor to activate.

The next morning Charlotte's bedroom door banged open, startling her out of a deep sleep. "Time to get up, Charlotte," Jane curtly told Charlotte. Charlotte caught the tone of Jane's voice, so did as she was told. After Jane had walked to the window and opened the shade, she turned back to Charlotte and, again, curtly told her, "You have 45 minutes to shower, dress, put on your makeup, and be downstairs to help get breakfast ready. If you find yourself unable to meet that goal, then I will find something else you can practice at until you are able to reach that goal. Don't get your hair wet as you shower. Make your bed and put your nightie under your pillow after folding it properly. Also, make sure to put on a clean pair of panties and bra. I suggest you hurry, Miss Thorton, you have already lost several minutes simply standing there gaping like a fish." And with that said, Jane turned on her heel and left the bedroom without another word.

Charlotte didn't know what was going on, but didn't waste any more time, as she hurriedly stripped, dropped her nightie, bra and panties on the bed, before going to the dresser and getting a clean pair of panties and matching bra. She then quickly moved to the bathroom, where she started the shower before putting on a shower cap. As Charles, she was used to taking a quick shower, and that familiarity helped her now. The dried herself, put on her panties and bra, rushed out of the bathroom to first put her dirty bra and panty in the laundry hamper, then making her bed before folding her nightie and placing it under her pillow. She then opened the drawer in the dresser and took out a matching garter belt, put it on, then after closing that drawer, opened another drawer, took out a nude pair of stockings, and went back to her bed to put them on. Once she had them attached to the garter belt, she then went into her closet and chose a dress that she'd been told would suit being worn around the house, and matching shoes. Once dressed, she sat down at the vanity and put on her makeup, making sure it was done to Jane's standards. With her makeup put away, and the vanity straightened, Charlotte went to the open door of her bedroom, turned and examined her room, making sure everything was as it should be. Closing the door behind her she hurried, but didn't rush, down the stairs only to find Jane waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

Jane looked at the watch on her wrist, then said, "Not bad, Miss Thorton. Forty minutes. Well done. Stand over there," and Jane pointed to a spot on the floor a few feet to her left, then began walking around Charlotte, inspecting her with a critical eye. Jane stopped behind Charlotte, and Charlotte felt Jane's hand run down her back, then tug at the sides of her dress, before Jane continued walking around her, stopping now and then, making comments to herself. When she was again standing in front of Charlotte, Jane grabbed Charlotte's chin and pulled it up, turning Charlotte's head first to the left then to the right, before releasing Charlotte's chin. "You've done well, Miss Thorton. You have a slight mistake with your eye makeup, Miss Throton, but what boy had ever worn eye makeup before. You'll have a chance to practice correcting that mistake. The dress you chose is appropriate for wearing around the house, but not for being out in public. Of course with your boy's body, we can't expect it to fit as it would on a 'real' girl, now can we? Your appearance will do for now, Miss Thorton. But after breakfast we'll work to improve your appearance. Now, I believe you have duties in the kitchen, Miss Throton?"

Charlotte didn't know why Jane had suddenly become the woman from hell, after how she'd treated Charlotte the previous days. But right now that didn't matter, because she knew Jane was expecting, and received, "Yes Aunt Jane," from Charlotte.

Charlotte then asked, "May I be excused, Aunt Jane?" Jane just nodded her head, since her voice would give away the fact she hated how she was going to treat Charlotte during the morning. But as she and Marie had discussed, it had to be done if Charlotte was to play her part in breaking Toby Camber and getting him to tell them the truth. Charlotte had to experience what Jane was going to put him through, as she'd put all of her other girls through. She had to experience the anxiety felt in needing to meet a deadline to be dressed properly as a young lady. Jane went into the study to calm down. And shed a few tears.

When Jane came out of the study, she heard, "Charlotte, come here right this minute," from Marie. She saw Charlotte come out of the kitchen and then heard, "I believe Francis instructed you on the proper way to set a table, did she not? Then why haven't you set this table properly? Pick everything up and set this table correctly. JETZT, Mädchen (NOW, girl!)!" As Jane watched Charlotte start picking up the plates and silverware, she also saw the hurt look on Marie's face. Like Jane, she hated to put Charlotte through the same thing they'd put their other girls through, and what Toby would be put through, but felt Charlotte needed to know how it felt to be ordered to redo something she'd already done correctly. When Charlotte had relaid the table, Marie, like Jane had done with Charlotte, walked around the dining room table and took it all in with a critical eye. "Viel besser, Charlotte (Much better, Charlotte.). Next time don't be in such a hurry, that's how mistakes are made. You may return to the kitchen." Once Charlotte was in the kitchen, Jane watched as Marie leaned against a chair and hung her head. She knew just how the woman felt.

Marie felt Jane's arms go around her from behind, and she grabbed Jane's hands before saying, "Dieu, je déteste faire ça à ce gentil enfant (God, I hate doing this to this sweet child.)."

Jane nodded then told Marie, "I do understand, but we both know it's necessary if she is to understand how Toby feels as we run him through the same thing. Come, let's go see how she's holding up." Together, holding each other, they went to the study, where they watched Francis and Charlotte in the kitchen on the monitor.

When Charlotte walked into the kitchen, Francis was cutting up fruit that would be part of their breakfast. She walked over to Francis and asked, "Francis, have I done something to upset Aunt Jane? She banged open my bedroom door this morning, shocking me out of a sound sleep. Then ordered me to get out of bed, told me to quickly take a shower, put on clean panties and a bra, get dressed and do my makeup. She even ordered me to make my bed and place my folded nightie under my pillow. And she said I had forty-five minutes to have it all done correctly. Is Aunt Jane mad at me, Francis?"

Francis had kept her head down as Charlotte spoke and asked her questions. She put the cut up fruit in a cauldron, took it to the sink and ran cold water over the fruit. She shook off the excess water before placing the fruit in a bowl and placed the bowl in the refrigerator, before rinsing off her hands and drying them on a towel. All the while remaining silent. She was about to do another of her instructed chores when Charlotte blocked her path by standing in front of her, asking, "Francis? What's going on? Why won't you talk to me?"

Francis tried to move around Charlotte, but Charlotte kept blocking her path. When she finally looked up at Charlotte, Charlotte could see the anxiety and confliction written on Francis' face. "Talk to me Francis? Why won't you say anything?"

As Charlotte watched, Francis started shifting her weight from foot to foot, all the while wringing her hands hanging in front of her. Tears were welling in her eyes, and starting to overflow, and as she started to wail, she whispered, "I can't," and fell to the floor in a heap. Charlotte got down on the floor with Francis, and held the girl as she bawled.

It wasn't long before Charlotte understood that Francis had been ordered not to tell Charlotte what was happening to her. She looked up into the hidden camera, knowing Jane and Marie had to be watching, and listening, and yelled, "THIS IS REALLY CRUEL, AUNT JANE! FRANCIS SHOULDN'T BE PUT IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT YOU'RE HAVING ME DO! NO, THIS IS MORE THAN CRUEL, IT BARBARIC, AUNT JANE. FORCING THIS GIRL TO FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS WHEN YOU KNOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT ME. WHEN YOU'VE COME OUT OF YOUR CAVE, WE'LL BE UP IN MY BEDROOM. AUNT JANE."

Charlotte helped Francis up off the floor, before leading her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom. She opened her bedroom door, not bothering to close it behind her, guided her up the stairs, entered her bedroom, and sat with Francis on her bed, holding Francis as she cried. "I'm here, Francis. It's going to be all right, just have patience. I stick with my friends."

Francis looked up into Charlotte's face and through blinding tears, and with a raspy voice asked Charlotte, "You're my friend? I've never had a real friend before, just people who wanted me to help them with this or that. And once I did, they'd throw me away like a piece of trash. Thank you for being my friend." She laid her head back on Charlotte's chest, and held her tightly. Tears slid down Charlotte's cheeks, angry tears, that Jane would have the gall to make Francis choose between following Jane's orders or face punishment for disobeying her and helping her friend. And no matter her reasoning, Jane may have done more harm to Francis than good. Because Jane deliberately put Francis into a no-win situation. Damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

It wasn't long before Jane and Marie arrived at Charlotte's bedroom, both coming into the room. Neither woman had to ask how Charlotte was feeling because it was plainly written on her face. She was furious. Charlotte didn't wait for Jane, or Marie, to speak first, she let go with both barrels. "What you've done to Francis is despicable, putting her into an untenable situation like you did. Obey your precious orders or face punishment by answering my questions. And I actually thought you cared about her. Instead you caused her to fold up because she wasn't equipped to handle the situation. So it was sink or swim, was it? Obey me, Lady Jane, or be punished for helping a friend. And if hurting Francis helps get my name cleared, then to HELL with clearing my name. Francis is more important!" Charlotte was so angry tears were flooding down her cheeks, and her voice quivered as she spoke. Charlotte watched as Jane tried to say something, but turned and walked out of her bedroom.

Marie looked at Charlotte and saw the fire in her eyes, she saw a mother protecting its cub. "That was cruel of you, Charlotte, it was beneath you. You're better than that," Marie told Charlotte. She went on with, "You don't understand how hard it was for Jane to do what she had to do, how she agonized over it. She didn't want to order Francis not to tell you what was going on, but it was necessary for you to learn how it felt what Toby was going to be put through. And he won't be getting any answers either. You had to understand what Jane and I are going to do when Toby arrives on Monday. Jane is furious because of the injustice that put you here, even though it has greatly helped Francis. Jane had another boy sent to her, under false pretenses, and vowed she'd never let it happen again."

Marie saw the fire die in Charlotte's eyes, as she said, "But she hurt Francis, Marie. That wasn't right. Francis has nothing to do with my learning how Toby was going to feel when he was run through the same gauntlet. She was an innocent bystander, who was threatened one way and wrought with anxiety the other way. And she crashed. Rationality can't be used to hurt another person, it isn't right."

In all the years she and Jane had been working with the boys sent to them, never had she seen two of their girls who were more worried about the other one than themselves. Charlotte was willing to throw away the chance to clear her name in order to see that Francis never got hurt. She was willing to throw herself on the sword instead of letting the sword reach Francis. Marie could only shake her head at seeing such self sacrifice. "Cheri, I think you have some place you need to go. I'll look after our Francis."

Marie's soft words found their way to Francis, who told Charlotte, "She's right, Charlotte. Jane needs you right now."

Marie sat down on the bed and took Francis in her arms, nodding her head towards the open bedroom door. Not caring how she looked, or caring if Jane was upset by her look, Charlotte let Marie take Francis and left her bedroom. She went down the stairs, to the study and knocked on the study doors. When there was no response, she opened the door, entered the study, closed the door behind her and walked over to Jane's desk, where Jane sat with her head on the top of the desk. Charlotte walked around behind the desk and pulled Jane to her and held her, as Jane cried on her shoulder. What Jane couldn't see were more tears finding their way out of Charlotte's eyes and down off her face. One thought sped through Charlotte's mind as she held Jane, 'Why is it so hard to be human?'

She voiced that thought by asking, "Why is it so damn hard to be human, Aunt Jane? If we do this, there will be someone who thinks it's wrong. If we do that, someone else will think it's wrong. If we don't do what someone wants, they think we're wrong for not doing what they wanted. This person says this is right, and another disagrees. We're told this is how things are, only to learn it's a lie. Aren't there any truths a person can lean on to have a happy life, Aunt Jane? Truths that hold up no matter the situation?"

She laid her head down on Jane's back, and let the tears flow. Everything had caught up with Charlotte, the lie of her involvement in the shoplifting, hearing what George Strom told Judge Ruth if she wasn't punished, the loss of being at school, the loss of being with her parents, the loss of being herself, and now watching as her friend was placed in a situation where she would be wrong no matter what she did. It was Jane's turn to hold Charlotte as the girl let out an agonizing wail, which continued as they both felt arms incircle them. It had been Charlotte's wailing that brought Marie and Francis into the study, the two having heard Charlotte even from Charlotte's bedroom, and the doors of the study closed.

They held each other for what seemed like hours, but lasted for only fifteen minutes. When Charlotte had cried herself out she said, "I've buggered things, haven't I. I got angry with you Aunt Jane because you did what was necessary. And it wasn't you who put Francis in that untenable situation, it was me, by asking her those questions. I ruined what you were trying to have me learn, I am sorry Aunt Jane. Truly I am."

Charlotte had to stop talking, as her voice was no longer steady. Jane pushed Charlotte away so she could look into her eyes and told her, "Never, ever, apologize for standing up for your friends. I should have realized how close you and Francis had become, and it was her you'd go to for answers. I put us all in a no-win situation, Charlotte. But to answer your current questions. Humans are not simple animals, with simple needs. We are more than finding food, mating, and running from predators. Humans are more complicated because their brains are more complicated, and that complication can cause untold problems when it involves relationships. We are not rational creatures, Charlotte, even though there are those who try to make that claim. Given the right circumstances, even those people will break down into being a mere human. Truths, constant truths? Ones you can hold onto in every situation? Many claim to have a constant truth, Charlotte, until they are put into a situation that is out of their comfort zone. Then their truth breaks down. There is a truth that can stay true in any situation if a person has the understanding of what it is and how to use it. It's quite simple, but hard to follow, always be true to yourself. Always be centered in what you believe. Never let others sway you because they disapprove of your beliefs, as long as your beliefs don't harm others. Never let others expect you to believe as they do, unless you've delved into what they've said and find it to be true. And be true to your own beliefs. Charlotte, we actually control our own lives, by how we respond, or react, to any given situation. And it's when we are not centered that problems arise. If you watch those others, you will find they are true to themselves. They know themselves. They are confident of themselves and what they can and can't do. They have a good sense of self worth, and know what they want out of life. And they do it all without the need to harm others. They will even become shepherds to others, helping them gain a better understanding of themselves. They are the people whose funeral is filled to overflowing because of the compassion, true compassion, they had for others. And it was all because they were true to themselves, Charlotte."

tbc
Chapter 8

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Comments

wow

lisa charlene's picture

a very heavy chapter .with tears in my eyes i await your next chapter of this wonderful tale.

Thank you

Jamie Lee's picture

Thank you for the comment lisa. Each chapter has it's moments of anguish by the characters, as self discoveries are made or Jane creates a situation for self discovery.

Others have feelings too.

im not a writer

lisa charlene's picture

i dont have the talent that is unless you want to be bored to death .but i am a musician, singer and write music and this reminds me of a very old song by Joni Mitchel .Both Sides Now i recommend looking up the lyrics if you have time .

Big difference

Jamie Lee's picture

lisa,

Looking back to my high school and college days, and to what I'm writing now, there's a big difference between what you have to write and what you want to write or find you can write. For me, having to write for a grade was very difficult, mainly because I had trouble knowing what to write. I found writing a story to post on BC much easier because no grade was involved, no client to satisfy, or no boss to placate. I discovered I could write once demanding restraints were removed, and I could let my gray matter wonder the words often floating around its matter. While taking music theory in high school, I discovered I didn't have the aptitude to write music. I could hear it, but couldn't put it to paper. I even played music for three years while in high school. But understanding it well enough to write it, naw, ain't gonna happen.

After listening to Both Sides Now, I remembered it from years ago on the radio. And it was a song I enjoyed listening to, among several others. The one thing I noticed today, that I didn't notice when I first heard it, was the guitar accompaniment almost overshadowing the words. Had the volumn of the guitar been lower, the words would be easier to understand.

Others have feelings too.