“Hi mamma, daddy and I were finally able to come and see you again. Daddy went to talk with some of his old buddies and felt I needed to be alone to talk to you. Oh...we brought you some fresh flowers, the ones we left the first time have died and wilted. There, mamma, that looks better with those fresh flowers.

Mamma, we both miss you terribly, daddy most of all. After you left, he didn’t eat much. He didn’t bathe like he had been doing, and he stopped shaving. I did all I could to help him get over you leaving, even yelling at him, but it didn’t do any good. Mamma, it wasn’t until I told him about myself, about who I was, about how I’d been feeling that he finally came around. And he actually cried, mamma. Cried on my shoulder, mamma. And he said how sorry he was for not helping me, mamma. For not being there for me, mamma. But he’s there now, mamma, and he’s been great.

He even found a woman I can talk with about myself and how I’m feeling. She had daddy take me to two doctors she recommended, so they could make sure I was okay. It was kind of strange, though, mamma, when two days after I first saw those doctors, they called daddy and told him to bring me back in right away. Mamma, they wouldn’t tell him why over the phone, but he picked me up after school and took me back to the hospital.

Even when we got into their offices, they still wouldn’t tell daddy what was going on. They just told daddy and me they’d seen something strange in my blood tests and wanted to be sure what they suspected. And no, mamma, even when they said that, they still wouldn’t answer daddy’s questions. They just told him to be patient. What they did, mamma, was to take me to these imaging machines, two of them; they said they wanted to be positive. Had me dress in a hospital gown and lie down on a bed in first one machine then the other. One of those machines was really noisy, mamma, guess that’s why they had me put on headphones and played music for me.

Mamma, for the longest time I wanted to come out and meet you. But I remember what you told Mrs. Wills when she and those other three ladies were over at our house for coffee. You were really angry with her when she talked about her daughter, and told her what you’d do if it happened at your house. I didn’t want to make you angry, mamma, or mad at me, so I stayed hidden. Until now, mamma. I’m here now, mamma.

After they had me get dressed, mamma, they took daddy and me into a small meeting room that had a large monitor on the wall. Mamma, one of the questions the doctors asked after taking their pictures was if I’d been feeling bad at certain times. I had to think about that one, mamma, because I did remember feeling bad several times over the past months. And, mamma, when they started showing the images they’d taken, I thought daddy was going to faint. Right after me, mamma.

You see, mamma, the doctors got it wrong when I was born, saying I was a boy. What they thought was my penis, as the doctors called it, was actually my misshappened cletoris, another of their words. And I was feeling bad at times the past few months because I was having my period, but the stuff the doctors talked about didn’t have a way to leave my body. They told daddy I was lucky not to have suffered serious problems, mamma. And mamma, the reason daddy and I haven’t been here for a while was due to the surgery I had to make an opening in my body that didn’t form properly when I was inside of you.

Mamma, I’m a girl. I’ve always been a girl. Even when I was born, mamma, I...was...a...girl. And now I won’t get to do the things with you other girls do with their moms. We can’t go shopping. You can’t tell me about being a girl, and all that gross stuff I was told by the doctors I needed to know. You won’t get to meet my boyfriend when we finally meet. And mamma, you won’t get to be there when I get married. Oh, I believe you’ll watch it all happen, mamma, but you won’t be there with daddy and me as it happens. It won’t be the same thing, mamma.

Mamma, I see daddy coming back, and he’s wiping his eyes. Guess he misses his old friends. Well, mamma, I’m going to go wait in the car while daddy talks to you. We’ll come again, mamma. And bring some fresh flowers when we come.

Oh, and mamma, I almost forgot. My name. It’s Julie Ann Langford. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Ann Langford."