Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2922

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2922
by Angharad

Copyright© 2016 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
*****

I wondered if I should warn John that Debbie was fancying him. Whatever she was under the false eyelashes, she had a healthy libido or fantasy life. Have I not mentioned the false eyelashes before? They’re not the sort you see for sale in New Look, these are expensive ones which effectively make your own more noticeable by making them appear thicker. The alternative to those who want fuller lashes is to have the semi-permanent ones they glue to your eyelids with super glue, Sammi has them as do Julie and Phoebe. Danielle would if I allowed it which I haven’t at the moment. I told her she could have some done when she broke up for the summer holidays.

Julie stuck some false eyelashes on me and I found them so irritating I made her take them off, it was like looking through a hedge. Instead I asked her to dye my lashes so it always looks as if I have mascara on, even when I don’t. Last week she was trying to get me to use the latest brow pencil or sculptor or whatever they call it. My eyebrows are very blonde and only really show if I use eyebrow pencil on them which I do, but lightly. These days they all seem to have painted on brows like Cara Delwotsit. It’s not that long ago they were all thin lines plucked like a dead chicken.

Thankfully, I’m not that involved with fashion for myself, though I have plenty of arguments with a house full of girls. I tend to go for classic designs which might be expensive but happily I can afford them, so what I miss in fashionableness I make up for in quality.

Sammi is probably the most fashion conscious in terms of being able to afford good stuff regularly. The others fight over her cast offs, which are too small for me—I’m bigger in the hips and breasts than she is—that’s what AIS does for you. I also don’t like some of the real cutting edge stuff—perhaps I’m becoming an old fuddy-duddy compared to the days of my youth when I’d drool over the pictures in the colour supplements of the weekend papers about wanting to look like the models posing in the latest gear. Occasionally there’d be something about someone who’d changed sex and I’d do my best to acquire the article and hoard it in my stash.

My mother found it when she was cleaning my room and showed it to my dad. He went ballistic giving me the third degree. I remembered it quite vividly.

“D’you want to be like one of these freaks?” I’d stand there silently, tears running down my cheeks. “Charlie, I asked you a question—well do you?” I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know the answer. I didn’t want to be like the subjects of the articles, I wanted to be like an ordinary woman, have periods and children but I knew that was impossible.

After he’d ranted and raved at me for about half an hour, during which time I didn’t say a word in answer to his interrogation, he made me go outside to the garden incinerator—one of those metal dustbin thingies with a lid on it and holes in the side—and he made me tear everyone of them up and burn them. If he saw any stories in the papers about gender dysphoria, he’d rip them out and tear them up so I wouldn’t get ideas. I stopped looking at the papers at home and read them in the school library, where it was still possible to ‘collect’ articles—I had a pair of sewing scissors I kept in my pencil case and could do an article-ectomy quickly and quietly. He didn’t find my second stash, which was in a box file labelled ‘dissection techniques.’ He was even more squeamish than I was and to put him off the scent I had some diagrams and photos of dissections we did in school in the box and would pretend I wanted to show him what we were doing. He told me to keep them away from him. In the end, I had a couple of photos or diagrams on the top and the rest was my collection of sex-change clippings. Perhaps I’m a natural subversive.

“Your eyelashes need doing again, Mummy,” suggested Julie and seeing as we had competition in the office now, I accepted her advice. Sitting in my study chair which reclines she began wiping my eyes.

“How’s the new girl coming on?” she asked, “The one from Sussex.”

“Okay, I guess—did I mention she wears false eyelashes?”

“No, but you have criticised her a few times.”

“Have I?” I wasn’t aware I was doing it.

“Well she is younger.”

“Julie, I’m only thirty two.”

“I know, over the hill...”

“Hoy, wait till you get there—I’ll try and remember to remind you how old you are.”

“I know what could make you both younger and sexier.”

“Yeah, colouring my lashes, saves me time in the morning and on mascara.”

“Let me try something.”

“You’re not sticking those false eyelash things on me again.”

“No I won’t, they’re too clumsy for you anyway—okay for younger women like—what’s her name—Debbie?”

Somehow, I failed to understand what she was doing and ended up with the individual extra lashes like Sammi wore. They’re glued to your eyeball or something and are the same length as your own lashes, they just make them thicker. I had a dozen or so on each eyelid and then Julies dyed them all dark brown, she also used a special eyeliner which dyes the skin for a couple of weeks. As she does makeup better than I can, when she showed me my eyes looked quite attractive without being too obvious. If I was going out in the evening, just slap some more eyeliner over the top. The lashes would last about three or four weeks as would the lash dye.

The next morning I wore a skirt suit and boots. Spring was coming but it wasn’t that warm most of the time and to save energy, I have the radiator in my office turned off much of the time—I try to lead by example. The girls noticed my new look at breakfast. They knew Julie was dyeing my lashes and approved. “Dunno what she’s done, Mummy, but they look much thicker,” observed Danielle. “I’ll have to ask her to do mine.”

I just blushed and let them talk about something else. Of course Diane noticed my change of look—well the suit was a YSL original—okay from Stella, which I’d not worn to work before. It was mid blue with tiny gold flowers embroidered on it and I wore my white roll neck blouse with it. “My goodness, you look smart—competition getting to you, is it?” She ducked behind her computer before I could pretend to throw something at her.

Just then, Debbie came in wearing a pair of painted on jeans with over-knee stiletto boots, a long polo neck jumper which covered her bum—just, long knitted waistcoat and her hair was up. I wasn’t sure what I thought except I’d never have had the courage to go to work dressed like that and if I had Tom would have had words with me.

“Took your advice, Cathy, decided to make an impact—oh like the suit, yes very nice, middle age designer stuff, I’ll bet that cost a bit.” I was speechless.

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Comments

I'm going to send you my dry cleaning bill!

persephone's picture

Ang

I now have a soaked keyboard, screen and blouse. The first two can survive Cabernet Sauvignon, the third can't.

Please, please, please in future put a prominent warning at the start of a chapter that ends with lines like…
“Took your advice, Cathy, decided to make an impact—oh like the suit, yes very nice, middle age designer stuff, I’ll bet that cost a bit.”
I was speechless.

Something along the lines of "Humorous boobytrap ahead. Avoid all comestibles and liquid refreshment whilst reading."

Absolutely wonderful as always (and I hope I can do as well with the epilogue to Amber Collin's story)

Persephone

Persephone

Non sum qualis eram

Catty much?

'Middle age designer stuff' indeed! I just used to leave clothes at work as my 13 mile bike ride each morning was too far to go slow enough not to get sweaty. Still most people wore jeans and T shirts except the who had managerial ambitions - that's engineers for you :)

You haven't lost your touch, Ang even though things are suspiciously quiet ... too quiet, I think.

Robi

LOL a lot

"yes very nice, middle age designer stuff"

Well, once thing for certain,

Well, once thing for certain, Debbie does not see Cathy as any thing other than a woman, albeit a, in her words, middle aged one. Wonder if Cathy is now making plans to scratch Debbie's eyes out? Catty comments indeed; and to your boss to boot. My oh My!

MEOW !

A twenty something comes in wearing sprayed-on jeans, looks at a YSL suit, and says, 'very nice middle aged designer stuff.I'll bet that cost a bit'
The perfect answer is,' More than your education dearie.'

Karen

A Great episode

Well done Angharad.
I expect Cathy is feeling a bit 'gobsmacked' at the moment. I cannot wait for the retort in the next episode.
I was also a newspaper cutting person, well, there was no other information in my day.

Great writing as always, I still love to read 'bike'

Love to all

Anne G.

Youngsters

No respect for their elder. Bet our saintly Cathy, turns this developing cat fight, into a lovefest.

"Dressing down"

Podracer's picture

I thought that Stella was the queen of cast-off couture. Has she reined in her fashion spending?
Cathy won't be spluttering or speechless for long, but it's funny! My return of serve would be along the lines of having to dress for the position, and frequent meetings. Surely she won't escalate the competition..

"Reach for the sun."

Sneaky is ..

as Sneaky does , Good to see Cathy did not let her father get one up on her with his short sighted attitude towards Cathys newspaper cuttings , Surely even he must have realised that his child would never give up that easily, Perhaps even then the penny was slowly dropping and he choose not to look too hard for any more evidence that would confirm his fears...

Kirri

Oooooooooowooooh

Ouch!

Stiletto being slipped in there. I fancy there might be a cat-fight before long, albeit a verbal jobbie.

Still lovin' it.
x

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