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Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from iStockphoto.com . ~Sephrena
Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

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Sarah Carerra Book 2: Summer Medley

Chapter 2.52 - Radio City Music Hall

The final day of my summer concert tour brought a peace and serenity that was abnormal for a concert day. For the first time all week I got to sleep in longer than usual. I had done more interviews in the mornings during my stay in New York City than I had all month. Having much of the morning off was the best way to start the day.

The light was streaming through the curtains as I pulled back the covers. I climbed out of bed and did a few stretches to help wake me up, then I walked over to the curtains and pulled them apart. Looking down on the already bustling streets stories below the room brought a smile to my face.

I had never imagined that I would get the chance to visit New York City! I lived on the other side of the country, and Dad's job had kept us from taking many vacations while I was growing up. But to contemplate being here to perform two concerts would have been mind-boggling just four months ago.

This whole summer had been a whirlwind of new adventures and experiences. My life had completely changed. I was no longer the shy boy who I had grown up believing myself to be. I was now a beautiful young woman with a very exciting life ahead of her. I couldn't remotely imagine everything that Sarah Carerra would bring to my life. I couldn't imagine what life would be like after I took off the wig for the last time, if that ever happened. But I knew for a fact that I had always been a girl. I had always been Megan.

I knew that belief would be challenged, perhaps forcefully, when I returned to school. Despite the fact that I was legally and genetically female, there were enough people there who knew me before this whole adventure had started. Some of those people would make my life hard while I tried to finish my junior year. But if I could become a platinum recording artist, then I could overcome ANYTHING that they threw at me. With friends like Emily, Ethan, and Paul at my side, I knew that school would be okay, no matter what happened.

I smiled slightly, and turned to start getting ready for the day. Just because I got to sleep in didn't mean I had the whole day off. I wanted to be ready when Dad knocked on the door to my suite.

When I was finished getting dressed, I still hadn't heard anything from Dad or Amy, which was unusual. A knock on the door to my family's room proved that Dad had still been asleep, if his bedraggled appearance was any indication. He scowled at my laughter, but I told him I would go get breakfast and he closed the door to start getting ready for the day.

I was still in a good mood as I walked further down the hall to the suite that the band was staying in. A knock on their door proved more productive, and I found most of them up and dressed. Only Sophie was still getting ready and I waited patiently for her to finish her makeup before I dragged them all down to the hotel’s restaurant. It hadn't been hard to convince them to come to breakfast with me, especially when they found out it would be my treat, and it was one of the best times I had ever spent with my band.

There had been very few times when we got together that didn't involve our music in some way. Getting to sit there and just talk with them for an hour and a half was definitely an eye opener. I learned more about them during that one meal than I had all summer. As we returned to our rooms, I was even more convinced they were the best people I could ever work with.

Austin and the band were going to lounge around the pool and have some fun before the band went to the sound check. I wished I could join them, but I was already committed to spend more time at the Jive booth before the concert. The Jive guys had wanted me to be there all day today, but fortunately I had the excuse of performing a concert to get me out of there early.

Mom and Amy remained at the hotel to finish packing our things onto the bus. The band and the crew weren't leaving New York until late tomorrow. However, Amy, Mason, my family and I were all going to pile onto my bus after tonight’s concert to make the cross-country trip back to Los Angeles in time to get ready for school on Wednesday. Everyone else would be heading for Colorado for next Saturday's concert.

The technology conference was a lot more crowded today than it had been yesterday. News had also apparently circulated that I would be there, because many more fans showed up to get autographs and pictures than yesterday. Overall it was a much better experience, and the Jive executives seemed to be happy with the number of people who were taking an interest in their music player.

When we finally left to make our way to the Radio City Music Hall, I was more than ready to perform a concert. The excitement I felt before every show was already building as we arrived at the historic building and made our way inside. The grandeur and the luxury that were displayed all around us took my breath away instantly, and I marveled that I was actually going to get a chance to perform here!

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Darkness descended around me, and I turned and hustled toward the side of the stage for my second costume change of the night. Once I was inside the small booth I raised my hands once more while waiting for one of the ladies to finish untying my shoes while another pulled my top over my head. A third was unzipping my jeans and pulling them down my legs, allowing me to pull my feet out of the jeans and the untied shoes at the same time. Then came the dress.

This costume change was the longest of the concert, because it took extra care to get the dress on without damaging it. Several women helped pull it over my head and get it situated properly. Once my head was free, Stephanie went to work on fixing the wig and touching up my makeup and someone else placed a pair of heels on my feet.

When everyone was done I only had a second or two to glance into the mirror in the room before I had to rush back to the stage. What I saw was a very beautiful girl. The little black dress was very high fashion, and very sophisticated. It was highlighted with silver in a few places to give it some Glam, but otherwise it could have been worn out on an expensive date. I gave myself a smile, then turned and hurried back to get into position before the video keeping the crowd entertained was finished.

I didn't get to take a proper breath until I was in place, which was only slightly encumbered by the tight dress. It still left me with plenty of room to breathe to sing properly. The dress didn't look as tight as it felt, but it was still comfortable.

The soft, slow music started up immediately after the screen at the back had gone dark, and a spotlight shone down upon me. When I started softly singing the first words of Petula Clark's 'Downtown', there was some soft clapping around the hall. This seemed like an appropriate song to be singing just off the Theatre District, and the crowd seemed to agree.

This song was much older than I was, and I had never even heard it before someone suggested using it as a cover. But even the fans in the audience whom I could see and who were younger than me seemed to enjoy the song. It was a really nice song, and as we went back and forth between the slow parts and the faster sections, I was really having a lot of fun. So far this had been the best concert we had performed, without anything going wrong, and I was intent on making sure that continued. It was the last chance I would get before school started.

When the song came to a conclusion, the fire was burning just as strong in my veins. The crowd cheered just as loud as if it had been one of my own songs. Before I had started I knew that this was going to be a fun concert to perform, and the fans certainly made that a reality.

"I promised we would have fun tonight," I told the audience when they started to quiet down once again. "Are we?" That prompted another cheer to echo throughout the venue in response.

"Well, I'm having fun too," I continued. "I've been performing for almost three months now. In that short amount of time I've learned two key things. First, I'm totally addicted to performing. I can't imagine not singing and sharing my talents with people anymore. Second, performing for a great crowd, like you guys, always leaves me 'Breathless'."

I paused briefly, letting a hush settle across the hall before I started singing. After finishing my opening line, Stacy's drums and Jason's guitar joined in to bring sound to the song The Corrs performed so well. I didn't think I could give it the justice that the family band did, but I did my best. I must have done well enough, because the crowd erupted into cheering when we finished.

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The backstage meet-and-greet held after the concert was somber for me. I was still elated to interact with all of the fans who had been lucky enough to join us, but the looming end of the summer concerts definitely made me wish I had more time with them before school started.

By far, this had been the most exciting summer of my life. Last year, when Emily, Ethan, and I would spend time on the beach or at a movie or just lazing around each day, I never would have guessed that it would be the last time that we would spend that much time together. We knew as we got older things were inevitably going to change, but I never expected it to happen this soon!

And change they had. Not only was I a whole new person than who I had been back then, but I had hardly even had the chance to see them over the summer. Ethan had run off to camp to get away from me, and Emily had started a job that kept her busy most of the time. I knew she regretted the loss of free time she'd had over the summer, but she'd saved an impressive amount of money from her job that I knew helped alleviate that loss.

Emily was so driven to be successful, which is one of the reasons I was standing where I was, in the middle of a large number of my fans. But I was standing there without her. She had been the driving force who had convinced Ethan to help get me to Scott's party. It was her willpower that had badgered me into getting up on stage that night where Scott had heard me for the first time. Without Emily's drive, there would be no Sarah Carerra.

I missed her.

Standing among the many people who wanted to be my friend and spend as much time with me as they could, all I wished was that I had her here with me. I knew she would be there Tuesday after we got home. I knew that Ethan would be with her. That seemed like such a long time from now, however, and we would only have less than one day to enjoy the rest of the summer before we'd be back in the classrooms together.

But we would be together once again. Emily had quit her job to focus on school, and that meant that any free time we had could be spent together. And while my own career wasn't being put on hold, both of them were more than willing to come along with me. I just hoped that I wasn't keeping them away from anything they wanted to pursue in their own lives.

Later that night, after the glamour of the concert and the afterparty had faded, I was in my room on my tour bus. The wig was safely stored. The outfits were in the closet. I had removed the day's makeup, and all of the people on the bus were in their beds or bunks trying to sleep.

But the fire within me was still burning brightly. I was wide awake, and I found myself sitting on my own bed, staring out the window at the still-heavy early morning traffic around the New York City area. Eddie was expertly navigating the large bus through the busy streets, and I watched the show much like I had watched the Salt Lake Valley from the window of my hotel room the night after my first concert.

The peaceful, serene feelings that had been flowing through me that night were joined by concern and worry tonight. With the start of the school year came the uncertainty of what it would hold for me. I hadn't been the most popular person at the end of the last year. There were a number of students who hated me just because I was different. And most of those students would be returning with me this year.

Despite the acceptance and acclaim that I received nearly every day as Sarah Carerra, these people only knew me as the new girl Megan Campbell. Some of them were sure to only remember me as the person whom I had been before Megan had even come along. That person seemed so foreign to me now that I couldn't even voice the name. Yet it was certain to be on the tongues of those individuals who wanted to hurt me. Having a proper birth certificate wasn't going to be enough to convince them that I really had been a girl since birth. Those were the causes of my worry as I sat there lost in thought.

A soft knock on the door to my room preceded my mom poking her head inside. She had a concerned look on her face when she saw me sitting on top of the covers instead of safely ensconced within. Without a word she came inside, closed the door, and joined me on the bed, wrapping me in a hug.

"Are you worried about school?" she asked. I had long since given up trying to figure out how she always knew what was bothering me. Instead, I hugged her back.

"Yes," I replied while nodding. "I don't know how people are going to react, and that scares me."

Mom was silent for a moment. When she spoke again I felt the love and care that she put into her words.

"Megan," she started. "You are an amazing young woman. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. But what you've gone through isn't normal. People are going to question who you are because of that. I know you are female. Your dad knows you are female. Your doctors and the government know you are female. Anybody who believes otherwise is going to have to learn that truth. In time I don't think that anybody will question who you really are. But for those people who have known you for a while, it will be harder to accept."

Again she hugged me tightly before continuing. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I wish you could have been raised as the girl you truly are. But life isn't always easy, and it isn’t always fair. I wish that people would accept you for who you are now, but some of them won't be able to. They will criticize you for living your life the way you were meant to. But you hear criticism like that every day. You've seen the negative things that some people have said about Sarah. This is no different."

"But it IS different," I told her. "She-"

"She is you," Mom interrupted. "Never forget that, Megan. Sarah is believable only because there is a real girl underneath that wig. She is strong and determined and one of the bravest young women I know. I couldn't imagine standing in front of a crowd and performing like you do."

"That strength doesn't come from Sarah," she paused to place her hand over my heart. "It comes from here."

I nodded, but I wasn't sure how to respond. I stared out the window of the bus for a moment. I knew she was right. It was so easy to try to separate my two identities. But I knew that I could perform just as well without the wig. The 4th of July party at Gran and Grandaddy's house had proved that. However, that still didn't make me feel any less apprehensive about what my fellow students would do to me. Some of them, like Jared Lumbart, wanted to harm me. I knew there would be problems during the school year.

But I also knew that I could overcome them. I'd done a number of amazing things over the summer. If I could release a platinum-selling album and perform concerts in front of thousands of people across the nation, then I could find a way to deal with the problems that school would bring.

I looked up into Mom's eyes. Once again I saw her love and adoration for me there. I hoped that she could see the same thing in my own eyes.

"Thank you, Mom," I replied. Then I leaned over and gave her a hug this time. After releasing her I knew what else I wanted.

"Would you like to sleep in here tonight?" I asked. "The bed is much more comfortable."

She laughed lightly, but nodded.

It wasn't until after we had both slid under the covers and I could feel the heat of my mom inches away from me that I felt safe for the first time all evening. Not even Mason could give me the security that Mom could. I drifted off to sleep peacefully within minutes.

Only time would tell what the future would hold.

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Want more Sarah Carerra?
Learn more about the songs in this chapter at sarahcarerra.com
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Thank You!

It's almost been two years since I posted the first chapter of Sarah Carerra to the Internet. At that time I had no idea it would evolve into what it is today. Sarah Carerra is probably the most fun I've ever had writing, and I truly adore spending time with her. I hope that there will be plenty more in the future, but that will be up to you, the reader.

Book 3, which will be coming in the next few months, is going to have some transgender issues that Sarah/Megan are going to have to deal with. Going back to school will not be easy, and working to be accepted by the students there will take some time. But there will come a point in this story where the TG content will start to wane. I'm more than willing to continue writing the story, but my question to you is, are you still willing to read it?

Let me know how you feel about the continuation of the story, and how much further it should go, by posting a comment here or mailing me at angeljedigirl(at)gmail.com.

Thank you all for taking the time to read something that is near and dear to my heart. I don't think I could keep writing it if it wasn't for all of the great feedback I get here.

With love,
Megan

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