Sad Smiles Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

Drew's POV

I had to sit in the front as the girls got themselves ready for another concert. It was a strange contrast to how they acted after I had dressed female. I sort of understood it, as they were completely uninterested in my male body. I did get the impression that they were almost flaunting their bodies after my transformation. Buffy had even told me that I shouldn't look away when they were getting changed when I was also female.

I looked back over the last couple of days with a smile. What a strange road my life was now travelling. Not that I was complaining. My only real issue was that I found all my travelling companions very attractive. Each in different ways. To some extent, I appreciated wearing my silicone vagina as it also acted as an erection suppressant.

When Sarah spooned me at night I felt protected, safe and even cared for. Strangely I also felt a bit feminine, almost as if I was a real girl, and that feeling was compounded by feeling the weights on my chest and feeling an absence between my thighs. That feminine feeling thrilled me giving me a weird internal satisfaction.

On the face of it, nothing that I had done was against my principals and I had certainly not been forced into it. I wasn't hurting anyone and in fact, by going along with the girls' suggestions, I was helping them to feel more at ease. This was mainly aimed at Sarah, and after she had managed to find the courage to explain why men affected her, I could hardly refuse. I mean apart from the hair removal, which most women have experienced at one time or another, all I was doing was putting on a few bits of fake flesh and wearing different nightwear. That is what my logical mind was saying. Psychologically, how the breasts and vagina were affecting me was a different story. For some unknown reason, I felt different, almost like I was expressing another part of my personality. I felt more submissive, more emotional, more female and I don't know why, but I liked the feeling. Having a female name given to me, only seemed to enhance this feeling of being mentally transformed or maybe released. Like I had a hidden aspect to my personality that I never knew about and becoming Gabi brought it out.

Sarah wasn't the only one who appreciated my transformation. When I was Gabi, Sarah fairly obviously relaxed and even stroked my body in a slightly sexy, possessive way. Buffy and Ellie also seemed to treat me differently. Despite knowing what I really was, they all started treating like I was a real girl. I think they even flirted with me a little and Buffy was encouraging me to flirt with them, too.

It was very confusing and under other circumstances, I might have run away from my feelings. I felt this could be a dangerous road to travel with no knowledge of my destination or the route I was going to take. The reality was this was a wonderful distraction and concentrating on what I was doing and how it was making me feel, helped me not think thoughts that reminded me of what had happened to my family. My mantra to myself was if it didn't harm anyone else, made others feel better and made me feel either neutral or good, then it was alright. Right now I didn't want to make decisions and was enjoying other people leading so that all I had to do was follow.

Once they were all ready to go, I was allowed back into the main area. I complimented them all on looking amazing and wished them a great time. They all smiled, gave me brief hugs and left to have some fun. I contemplated the idea of going online and buying a ticket to one of the shows so that I could enjoy it with them, but I was familiar with the music. I liked the High Notes music, and although I didn't mind The Bleeding Heart Boys music, it was full of sad songs that were likely to get me in the wrong mood.

Judging by how long they were gone last time, I had quite a bit of time to be by myself. I didn't want to check the news or look at anything that might set me off, so I started playing solitaire on my phone.

I think I had been playing for a couple of hours when there was a knock at my door. I opened it cautiously, completely unsure of who would be there. Two very attractive women, probably in their mid-twenties stood there smiling at me. One was blonde, but I think it was dyed as her eyebrows were a dark brown and the other was a brunette. They were both quite tall and were dressed casually, but I would guess expensive casual, makeup perfect and hair like they had just come out a salon. Their appearance made me think they were models.

“Hello,” I said with an uncertain voice.

“Are you Drew?” the blonde asked. “Aaron has told us so much about you.”

“That's err...interesting. I don't know Aaron very well,” I replied.

They both laughed. “He told us that we can no longer call him Casanova since you deserve the title more than him. Dating three girls at the same time,” the blonde continued.

“I wouldn't call myself Casanova.”

“What would you call yourself?” the brunette asked.

“Lucky, I guess. I prefer Drew though. And you are?”

They both laughed. “Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Bonny,” the blonde answered.

“And I'm Chloe,” the brunette added.

“We're Billy and Ethan's better halves,” Bonny finished with a smile.

“Nice to meet you,” I responded.

“While the boys are playing and fulfilling their obligations with their fans, we tend to meet up with Lisa for tea and biscuits. When we heard Aaron talking about you staying in the RV while your girls are at the concert, we thought you might like to join us,” Bonny explained.

“Plus we were dead curious about you after what Aaron said,” Chloe admitted.

I thought for a moment. The girls wouldn't be back for ages so it sounded like a great idea. “That sounds great.” I smiled at them, grabbed a key and locked up.

They led me to three large RVs that had been parked so as to leave a relatively private area in the middle. I noticed the presence of some security guys around the area. They looked me over carefully but didn't approach.

There was a table outside with chairs around it and lots of extras, so I think they were used to more people being there. Sitting at the table was another lady, who had a pram beside her. She was obviously beautiful, but also a bit tired and dishevelled. On the table was a spread of sandwiches, brownies and a few dips with carrot sticks next to them.

Bonny led us straight to the new mother. “Hi Lisa, this is Drew, Drew, Lisa,” she said introducing us.

Lisa didn't get up from the table, but she did offer her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lisa,” I said, shaking her hand gently.

“The infamous Drew,” Lisa remarked with a smile. “Take a seat and tell us everything. How did you end up dating three women who were all happy to share?”

“It's not how you think,” was my immediate answer. Then I realised I had to be careful exactly what I said. I needed to let them assume we were having a relationship that would keep Aaron off our backs. I took my time taking a seat to gather my thoughts.

“Then tell us how it is,” Chloe requested.

I looked around. We were all sitting down and they were paying me very close attention. “I think the best way to explain this is to talk about wolf packs.”

“Wolf packs?” Lisa queried.

“Yes, wolf packs. I imagine all the boys are what would be called alphas. Dominant, take charge kind of guys, right?”

Lisa and Chloe nodded.

Bonny thought about it. “Billy is no more dominant than I am, but I get your point.”

“So when Aaron thinks about it, he imagines himself in my place as an alpha male, dominating three submissive females. I'm exaggerating, although judging by Aaron's attitude when I met him, I don't think by much. And that is not our reality at all.”

“So how is it?” Lisa prompted.

“Please don't tell Aaron, because at the moment, in his mind, I am a bigger alpha male than him, so he will leave my girls alone, if he finds out the truth, he may start bothering them again.”

“Two things. What is the truth then and Aaron was bothering them?” Bonny asked a bit disturbed.

“I don't know Aaron very well, but from what I have been told, he was behaving like a dog in heat and not taking no for an answer. For example, when Buffy told him that she was seeing someone, he responded that I wasn't present so she should forget about me and be with him.”

“Aaron really is not a bad guy. He is a bit of a horn dog or at least he has been. From what Damon was telling me, he wanted to find someone to go steady with and settle down, he just hasn't found the right person,” Lisa explained.

“We can talk to Aaron and get him to back off.” Bonny waved her hands as if that was beside the point. “What truth do you not want him to find out?”

I took a deep breath. “Ellie, Buffy and Sarah, especially Buffy and Sarah, well, they are the alphas and I am the omega. I'm happy following their direction, not them following mine. I couldn't imagine three people less suited to Aaron, if he keeps going after them, sparks will fly. I don't want Aaron to find out, because some alpha men take that as a challenge.”

“Oh. And you don't mind being omega?” Chloe asked quietly.

“Why should I mind? They have not asked me to do anything I haven't wanted to. And I don't see why I should tell them what to do. They know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. I find that very attractive.”

“Are you one of those guys who like to be whipped and treated like a slave?” Bonny asked.

“Bonny! Don't you think that is a bit personal,” Lisa admonished.

“We are all thinking it,” Bonny muttered unrepentantly.

I laughed. “I don't mind answering, but maybe after this question, we should change the subject. No, I am not interested in pain or humiliation. Instead of thinking about it as some weird kinky extreme, it would be more accurate to imagine that I am the wife and they are the husbands.” Even just saying that felt weird. “That doesn't mean fifty shades of grey type material, any more than I should assume that is going on in your bedrooms.”

There was a pause while they considered my words. I deliberately mentioned their bedrooms as I don't think any of them would like us to discuss their love life in the kind of detail that they were inquiring about mine.

“Changing the subject,” Lisa began, “how much of the tour are you staying on. Aaron asked Trish and told us that you weren't supposed to be with the girls at all.”

Just then the baby started crying.

“How can you be hungry now? I only fed you an hour ago,” Lisa said with exasperation. I think Lisa had gone past the 'she's so cute' to the 'please let me have some sleep' phase.

“Umm... Lisa. Can I try something?” I asked, coming around to Lisa who was taking baby Mia out of the pram.

“What do you want to try?” Lisa asked, worried about handing over her precious bundle to a stranger.

“I used to do a lot of babysitting, I have a real knack with babies. She sounds to me like she has wind, not that she is hungry. If you listen carefully, she makes slightly different cries for her different needs,” I explained.

Lisa cautiously handed her over, watching me like a hawk.

I placed Mia on my shoulder, bouncing her gently and rubbing her back. I have a certain voice I have always used with the babies that I looked after. I called it my sweet voice. In my sweet voice, I started telling Mia how beautiful she was and what a wonderful baby she was and so on. She calmed down, but still seemed upset and then after a couple of minutes of persevering with my technique a loud burp was heard by us all. She settled pretty rapidly after that. I handed her back and she soon fell asleep in Lisa's arms.

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Comments

A new chapter...

Mantori's picture

... Yeah.

As I said in my comment on the last chapter of 'Who the hell am I?', looking forward to going on this journey with you.

Thank You.

"Life in general is a fuck up,
but it is the rare moments of beauty and peace
in between the chaos,
That makes it worth living."
- Tertia Hill

Interesting

I wonder if the person he babysat was his little sister and a breakdown is coming.

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna

A baby!

I love babies! And I‘m glad Drew isn’t completely oblivious to what’s going on in the RV. And I wonder why he dropped one part of the deception but kept another part up? I’ve really been enjoying this so far!

Careful there boy

Jamie Lee's picture

Buffy wondering how to approach Drew maybe being TG may not be as hard, or delicate, as she thinks, since Drew is enjoying his times presenting as a woman.

Whoa Drew, careful what you tell these ladies until to fully understand why all the questions. The questions could be innocent, but they could also be probing for something more nefarious.

And now the ladies know the truth why the deciption, might Aaron once again chase after the girls? Or go after Drew?

Others have feelings too.