schism616

Leave Your World Behind

Leave-Your-World-Behind

Molly walked leisurely down the paved path that snaked through the woods. It was almost dusk, and she enjoyed taking these early evening strolls after particularly hard days at work, which it certainly had been.

Two from One

As he watched the sunrise on the horizon, causing the brilliant golden spires of the city to twinkle like the multi-colored stars that had just retreated from the sky, the King couldn’t help but issue a forlorn sigh. Even the flock of yellow and green dragons that passed by overheard shortly thereafter, off to begin their morning hunt for the red whales of the nearby purple sea, did little to lift his spirits.

Hoe, Hoe, Hoe

The flames flickered in Sid’s dull eyes, as he listened to the harsh, dying screams of the stray cat. This alley never wanted for them, fortunately, and he had plied the old tomcat with a can of old tuna he had found in a nearby dumpster, his usual method. Then he threw it in a rusted metal garbage can, doused it with gasoline, and set it alight with one of his matches.

The Paypig

Trevor looked in horror at the gaping vagina before him, the same one he had impotently obsessed over and fantasized about for so many years, he couldn’t help but think: where had everything gone so very wrong?

A Winter's Tale

Diego and Pablo were grateful to have finally made it to the hot springs. Too used to the warmer climate of their tropical home country, their bodies were ill-suited to the average temperatures of a place this far north. In fact, neither had felt properly warm all vacation long, not since they first got off the plane a week ago, only adding insult to injury after such a long flight. Not even cranking the heat in their shared hotel room seemed to fully eliminate the chill that had seemed to settle into their bones.

(Mis)Adventures in ToonTown

Henry hated Toons. He was an adult when they first invaded our reality (Or did we invade theirs? The debate raged on), and as a respected professor of Math, and a serious man all around, their inherently chaotic nature meant their very existence was nothing less than actually insulting to him. So much so that not even fond childhood memories of watching Tom & Jerry and The Jetsons could overcome his contempt.

Stacy's Problem

Stacy had a problem, a BIG problem: her son. When she and her late husband, Chad (God rest his soul), found out that the baby rapidly growing in her ever-expanding belly was a boy, they had both been filled with such hope. What a handsome, strong man he would inevitably grow up to be, they thought! And virile too, though neither would dare say that part aloud (that would just be crude, of course).

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