We were now pulling into the driveway at my house and I was becoming nervous again. I have my two other brothers and mom, but what are they going to say? When we were younger my father was not supportive or sensitive, but he nearly died of illness when my youngest brother was just five. Since then he has become more loving, but closer to my brother.

There are cars parked in front of our house, and I wondered who else is there. Jane spoke, “Aubrey and my Mom are here. Your parents know and your brothers; they are to be on good behavior.”

My mother, Nina, and Aubrey were the first to greet me. Mom’s big grin told me I was okay and was looking good. “Honey, you look like you could be my daughter.”

I chose to sit on a dining room chair that had been brought to the living room to provide enough seating. Mother had often commented how we brothers slouched as where young women sat at the front of the chair with their backs straight up. I sought to do the same as a woman might. My mother commented that I did well but could be straighter, which I was obliged to do.

I saw my mother give some money to Jane, “I hope that covers what you spent and then some.” Jane tried to resist; Aubrey said, “But the gain was ours.”

Mom retorted, “The clothes are hers and they are worth every penny.”

My father finally spoke, “I can’t believe he agreed to it, but then again, it is hard to believe how attractive she’s become.” I sighed my relief. I knew I should be embarrassed, but I didn’t feel so.

Greg, the younger of my two brothers, said, “I can’t believe you’re my brother. I’m moving in with Jeff for now.”

Aubrey mentioned the need for a fitting for Jane and her new bridesmaid.

After Jane and the Brewers left, and dinner was over Mom took me up to my room and made sure Greg wasn’t around. She said, “I’ve seen when you’re in your larger group of friends; when Jane and her girlfriends decided to do something and you weren’t invited. You’ve wished many times you could be one of them. You’ve even come home and described new clothes Jane or Lisa bought as if they were your own.” Mom continued, “I have a sister and I have lived this long without a daughter, but it’s you who never outgrew your feelings. They were present today, weren’t they?”

“Momma, I’m not a sissy, never have been!”

“No, you’re not, it has taken a lot of courage to be you. You ran cross-country but twisted your ankles until the doctor said you needed to quit. You’re better in band and chorus than you are in sports. And you’ve made posters using the school’s mascot since you were in sixth grade. Everyone knows who you are and are proud of you. You’ve stayed away from the cheer team and fashion classes just because you don’t want to be typecast.”

“But Mom what I did today, changes everything,” I acknowledged.

Mom said, “It changed nothing, but that you were ready to step forward. It doesn’t need to be a public thing until Aubrey’s wedding. And if it’s not you then we’ll treat it as a one-time thing.”

She stood up and turned to me, “If you’re open to it, there are some new nightclothes in your second drawer. Don’t wear them out of the room without a robe unless you’re ready for your brothers to know.”

It was ten-thirty and I was ready for bed in a two-piece girl’s night outfit; when Greg came in to get clothes for tomorrow. He looked at me, and then asked, “You’re not going to start wearing girl clothes to school are you?” He was relieved when I said ‘no’. “You’re still my brother so far. I don’t want that to change or for people at school to know about this!” I was moved when he was kind of okay with me. He gave me a hug that was different from our being brothers.

I went to school the coming week and no one except Jane’s friend Lisa and Serena’s younger sister Camila knew about me. Cami said, “Welcome to our new girls' club.”

I was upset that Cami knew about me. She told me, “Well for your knowledge, Serena’s Aubrey’s Maid of Honor. I’ve been recruited to help you to become more like one of us. When you go to get fitted for the bridesmaid dresses; we’re to help get you some more clothes and makeup for practicing.” She said, “I wasn’t excited at first about being in a girls club to help you.”

The rest of the week went well and I was Lee all the time at school and most of the time at home. Mom had borrowed some of cousin Sue’s old clothes for me. Tuesday mom had my dress and be Lela, saying I needed experiences with all that it takes in being a girl.

She was right: I had the mistaken thought it must be very easy to be a girl and look pretty with no effort. Mom had bought a package of panties, pantyhose, and two ‘everyday’ bras. I had showered and shaved my legs and allowed my mother to shave my underarms. Air or clothing going over my clean legs felt wonderful.

Jane, Cami, and Lisa came over Wednesday to give me makeup lessons.

It was then that Lisa said to Jane, “She’s coming to like this, isn’t she?”

Jane said, “Yes, but he has been fighting it; please don’t tease him about it.”

The second time, we were to practice makeup; they wanted me to start with the concealer and foundation. Lisa and Jane helped me to even out the foundation. The makeup was light as would be the blush and my eyeshadow. Lisa asked, “Would you be interested in seeing how your look would change if I used colored eyeliner and matching mascara around your eyes?”

I had noticed what the girls did, but I wasn’t sure how to do the eyeliner. Jane smiled, she knew I was willing to see it. The result spoke to me that as a bridesmaid in a fancy gown that this would be better. What I wasn’t ready for was to put on a dress and go out to a Chinese restaurant.

My parents were happy to give me the money I needed. Dad even agreed that the practice would be good. The Oriental Garden was a local restaurant and we, four girls were warmly received. Mai Li a classmate from school came over to greet us. She asked my name and I said, “Lela Scott.”

She said, “I am happy to meet you, Lela. I hope you don’t mind but I think your eyes are especially beautiful.” She asked, “Do you go to our school or Lisa’s?”

I changed the subject asking, “Can you check, I want an egg roll as well as the soup?”

Jane chided me, “You’re lucky that she hasn’t figured out who Lela Scott is. Saying Lela would have been enough. What if she asked if you knew Lee Scott and then you blushed in embarrassment?”

It came time for Jane, another young woman, and me to go with Aubrey and Serena for our gown fittings. Serena’s gown was to be the same pink as ours, but in a darker shade with more lacework on the skirt and bodice. Our gowns were very pretty and it included some white lace on the skirt. I worked hard to hide how much I was enjoying it. It felt very girly to my being fitted for a gown. Wearing a shaper and being snuggly fitted into the gown added to the trauma.

After I had changed back to the girl clothes I was wearing I went out to the larger room where we had entered. I noticed a lost and found box and was intrigued to see what was in there. Cute panties, a couple of blouses or tops, several makeup cases, and one disk of pills. There was a notice on the box that things over thirty days would be thrown away. Each of the lost items had a date it was turned in. The disk of pills showed they were prescribed three weeks ago and lost eighteen days ago. I slipped the disk of pills into my purse.

After everyone was done being fitted Aubrey and her mother treated us all to dinner out. It took me little time when I was alone to manage to get one pill from the disk. I managed to hide it between my fingers until I got to the table to take a drink of water.

I sighed a sigh of relief, Jane asked me, “Was it that intense for you to get fitted?”

I almost told her what I did, but I caught myself, and instead, said, “You have no idea what it takes pretending to be a girl and go through all of this.”

Mrs. Sara Brewer overhead us and giggled, “How sweet that must be Lela; we very much appreciate you doing this. If there is anything I could do to help you, please let me know?”

Without thinking, I asked, “If you mean that there’s something I need for practicing for the wedding, reception, and rehearsal?”

She gave a quizzical look, “Of course, what do you need?”

“I need another pair of heels that fit me. I have been practicing in a size 7, but it is causing sores as well as giving me problems.” She was amused at what I said. I was wearing a pair of flats and when I took them off she saw the redness of my squeezed toes.

The waitress was bringing our food, so Mrs. Brewer said, “Right after we eat, we will find a shoe store and get you properly fitted.”

We ate and had a good time talking around the table. I was so taken in with being one of the girls, that I forgot. But Mrs. Brewer remembered the need to get a new pair of heels for me. It felt strangely good to be at the center of attention as we went to a shoe department. The DSW store in a nearby shopping center had a wide selection. Serena Veach took the lead in walking with me, She asked helpful questions, like if I wanted the same heel height and width that I’d be wearing for the wedding.

Finally, she suggested why don’t we get you a pair you could wear to rehearsal and the reception that might be a little more comfortable. We looked hard and found three pairs that fit the bill, but the cheapest was a Naturalizer that cost $125, even with 25% off it would cost one hundred dollars.

Mrs. Brewer asked her daughters, after looking through her purse, “Do either of you have my DSW Rewards card?” Aubrey was the one that had it and it gave her another 30% off. When I said ‘Thank you.”

She said, “You are very welcome and you make a very pretty young lady.” I blushed and Serena hugged me, “You know she’s right and I for one am very proud of you. I know you’re Lee, but being Lela also suits you.”

I said, “I thought the same, but didn’t think anyone else would understand.” Serena squeezed me in a hug; she drew in Jane and now the three of us were reaffirming what Serena had said. It was becoming okay to pretend in being Lela.

It was eight-thirty when Mrs. Brewer took me home and Jane was with us. Sara Brewer made such a fuss, “Your Lee, makes such a wonderful young woman. Let me show you some pictures of her in her gown.” And with that, another long visit began. Jane interrupted, “Would you like to see her new high heel shoes?”

I had gone up to my room and started to change over to being Lee when I was called back downstairs to put on the heels in front of my mother and father. My father spoke up, “I can’t believe this Lee even in his clothing and heels I see Lela. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Daddy, I was with the others all day and they fussed over me. It felt like I was one of them. Mrs. Brewer learned that the shoes I was wearing to practice were too tight and hurt my toes. I didn’t ask for a pair of high-heels but they are so much better for my feet. I hope you allow me to keep them.”

My father said, “I want to thank you, Mrs. Brewer. How much do I owe you? I’m surprised to say how wonderful they look and make Lela so happy.” He turned to me, “You, young lady, let me see if you can walk in them upstairs to get on a proper skirt and blouse.”

I said, “But Daddy, I’m tired and was wanting to get ready for bed.”

“Your friend Jane is here and your mother deserves to see these beautiful shoes on a nicely dressed young woman. Now go upstairs and don’t be too long.”

Jane followed me up to my room and we searched my small girl wardrobe for a skirt and blouse that were fitting. It was one of Cousin Susan’s old skirts and a cream-colored blouse with two birds with a pink ribbon in their mouths. It made a cute outfit.

Mrs. Brewer met me at the top of the stairs and brushed out my hair, used a blush, and a lip-gloss wand to refresh my lips. I then went downstairs and asked, “How do I look, mom and dad?”

My mother said, “You and the outfit are cute enough, but they shout to me that you need some clothes of your own. I’m going to take you shopping, tomorrow.”

“Ugh’, I sighed.

It was two weeks later that Serena looking in my purse for makeup, spotted my disk of pills. She said, “Your pills are almost out; would you mind that I helped by giving you another disk? These won’t help you to become a girl, but I think it has begun to help your hair and skin complexion. Doing it up through the wedding won’t be bad.”

I asked, “Do you think others have noticed?”

“Jane and I seem to be the only two that have noticed,” she said. “The other would be the mothers and I haven’t heard any clues that she sees any difference in your appearance.” That was a relief; I wasn’t sure it was true, but I wanted to believe so.

I finished the disk of pills that I had found and taken the first of the pills that Serena gave me. I felt a little sad that Serena said they wouldn’t help me to be a girl. I did like the confirmation that they had helped the change in my hair and complexion.

I was so tired after I took care of everything with Serena’s help that I was afraid, I wouldn’t remember the day, but my dreams were full of the experiences I had. I even saw myself dancing at the reception in my beautiful gown. That boys found me attractive even made me surprised.

It was Sunday morning so Mom waited until 7:30 to wake me up. She said, “Dress for church, but remember that you and I are going shopping afterward so I want you dressed as Lela.”

“Mom, you can’t take me to our church as Lela?”

She giggled to me, “We’re going to a large church it is in the direction of Bridgewater Mall. I am sure we can be there for their 10 o’clock service. I’ve wanted to go to such a church for a long time to see what it is like.”

I tried to resist and upset my mother to the point of her changing her mind. She, however, was too excited to become upset or to set doing otherwise. She threatened me, “If you put up any more of a fuss, I will consider outing you as a boy during our day out.” There was a gleam in her eyes that said I didn’t want to push her any further. My mom wasn’t that mean, but I knew not to push things.

Just the opposite, I made twice as sure that I looked and behaved well as Lela. Three teenage girls came up and greeted me and when they learned where I was from they started to say names. Debbie saw my eyes change with recognition with the mention of Cami Veach and Jane’s friend Lisa Hobbs. She asked, “So is there a particular boy you’re going out with?” I went quiet, so she asked me about a few boys the year ahead of me. Then she questioned whether I liked boys, and I didn’t want to say no.

I said, “There was one I dated, and two I like but I haven’t been asked out by them.” I was rescued by my mother saying we needed to go shopping at the mall.

Debbie handed my mother a card saying, “My sister works there and this card is good for an extra 15% off anything you buy there. Please, tell Denise you saw me at church. She’s a very good salesperson.” We both thanked her and went on our way. “By the way what is your name?” she asked?

“I’m Lela and it was very nice to meet you, Debbie.” She said something more as I stepped away, but I just said thanks and yes, to whatever it was.

Mom said, “Young lady, you are good at attracting nice friends.”

“But Mom, she got me to say I’ve dated a boy and that I was interested in two others,” I admitted.

Mom said, “You covered well, that is a natural response for a young woman like yourself.”

I said, “But I’m not a real girl?”

“You didn’t want her to know that and it should feel nice that you made a friend of a girl. Lee doesn’t easily do that.”

With Bloomingdales at one end and Macy’s at the other and three levels of shops. We started at Bloomingdales to window shop and were walking through the mall when we came to Express Clothing. Mom gave me a small bump to go in and asked me to keep an eye open for a Denise.

It was no problem in finding clothes a girl would like, and one person was nice enough to ask if she could help me. It was then I asked, “Is there a Denise here, her sister asked if I’d say hello.”

The woman smiled and said, “Yes, and I’ll see if she’s able to help you. She is very popular.” I tried saying it was no problem if she couldn’t, but the salesperson was gone.

Mom came over and we were looking at a skirt when Denise came from behind us. She stepped into my line of sight, “I’m Denise, am I able to help you? I’m sorry if you felt put upon by my sister.”

I responded, “No, she’s nice and cute like you are.” That might have been more appropriate for Lee, but awkward for Lela. I began to apologize, and Denise cut me off.

She said, “I understand, and thanks for the compliment. Deb has a way of relaxing people, and you were no exception.”

“I’m new at being a girl and I don’t have much of an everyday wardrobe,” I said. “I know that sounds stupid, but I’ve agreed to help someone and I’ve got in this position.”

Denise giggled under her breath, “I might not have known. It’s cute that you’re going to this extent to help someone. Are you enjoying the adventure?”

I said, “Enjoy, I don’t know, but it’s quite the experience?”

She said, “I suspect you know if you do. Wanting some everyday clothes or a wardrobe sounds pretty committed to me… What do you want to look at first?”

My mother intervened, “Probably a skirt or two and some tops that coordinate well with them.” Mom looks to me, “I think she’s right you know that you’re enjoying it a little.”

Denise asks me, “Do you like the variety and colors that girls get to choose from?” She was walking over to the skirts and dresses. “You have nice legs from what I can see not all girls can wear skirts and look as good as you will… Now, let’s talk as though you’re another one of the girls.”

“Are you looking for a full skirt, narrow A-line, knit, print, pattern or solid, any special colors? I’m just throwing out some possibilities and I’d be happy to explain whatever is needed.”

I said, “I need help, so I don’t look uncoordinated, or out of place that people might wonder.”

Denise pulls out three skirts, “This one is what we’d call an A-line, here’s a pencil skirt, and this one flairs out.”

I picked out a blue skirt that she called a full A-line skirt and she stopped me. She said, “Blue will look on you, but that one would wash out your complexion. She found another blue skirt and Mom agreed that the skirt would look nicer on me. Denise found me a red and yellow print blouse that had a trace of the same blue that made them work nicely together.

Mom and I found a pencil skirt, it felt nice, but not knowing skirts, I said, “But it’s too narrow, my steps would be too short.” Denise smiles and I know she wanted to giggle at me, “There’s a thread that keeps it together until it’s sold. And this one has other buttons that can be opened to walk more freely. It will look fabulous on you.”

My mother had taken a picture of me in this outfit, and I sent it to Jane. My phone rings, it’s my ring tone for Jane. I click to talk and Jane beats me in speaking, “You’re taking our suggestion and getting clothes to practice in. That has to make you feel like a real girl. I am so jealous and upset that I wasn’t invited along.”

I told her my mother hadn’t told me until this morning. She was surprised that I went to church as Lela and that I made a friend in Debbie and then her sister Denise at the store. She said, “God must not only be smiling down upon you but blessing you.”

Mom interrupted me from talking longer; we bought two skirts, four tops, and a pair of leggings and designer jeans. We went out with more than I remembered buying or trying on.

Denise was happy as she knew Cami, and Serena Veach even better. “I’m one of Serena’s favorite salesgirls as well as a close friend.”

When Mom and Serena were proud that we saved over $100, my thought was, ‘How much did we spend?’ Well, we spent just over $225 with taxes included but saved over $170 from the expected cost. Mom assured me between sales and the added discounts of using the card Debbie had from her sister, she was very pleased…

To be continued