Despite the brave front that I had put up with Narek during dinner and afterward, his presence in the estate made me uncomfortable and scared for some reason that I couldn’t quite understand. Maybe it was that ember of dysphoria that the encounter at the door to his room had briefly fanned into roaring blaze before I had managed to extinguish it. Maybe it was his general attitude and the way he treated me and others. Or maybe, it was some sort of Fae danger instinct kicking in. Whatever it was, I was a bit shaken as Nishalle walked me to my rooms and inside. My sister seemed on edge as well as we entered the living area of my rooms.

We quickly explained to Rei what had happened and she frowned. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked, a look of concern washing over her currently androgynous face as we sat on the couch and Nishalle took the chair opposite us.

“I’ll be fine,” I told her, managing a weak smile. “Thanks for having my back Sis, I can’t believe I used the ‘that time of the month’ excuse.”

“At least you weren’t lying about it,” Rei offered, though that came as small comfort, given my situation.

Nishalle nodded, the tense look on her face vanished, and her expression softened considerably. “You’re my sister, I’m not going to let some Winter Court douchebag try to mess with you in our own home. Strange that this feels like home now, huh? Honestly, I was a little shocked, and very proud, by how you stood up to him and put him in his place before dinner.

“Rei quickly nodded in agreement. “Yeah, me too. Were you channeling Moira there or something?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “It’s like you said though, Sis, this kind of feels like home now, and I just couldn’t let someone be so rude to all of us in our own home. He looked ready to strangle Lark and he outright insulted Lissany and me. I can’t tell if he was being deliberately antagonistic or if he’s just that arrogant. I got mad, and maybe a little too Fae, he needed to be put in his place. At least I tried to do it diplomatically, though perhaps threatening to send him home in an urn was a little too much.”

Nishalle gave me a stern look and promptly chastised me. “No, I know you care about just about everyone but don’t you start feeling bad for having a backbone Sis, he was a jerk and he deserved it for the way he was acting. You handled him perfectly, nobody objected to what you said, and did you see how proud Amoiraishe looked?”

I quickly shook off my uncertainty, knowing that she was right. “Yeah, it’s like she really is our mother sometimes, I keep slipping and calling her Mom or Mother. I’m not sure if that’s healthy, for either of us though, I can’t replace Moira’s daughter, and she can’t replace Mom.” I sighed and looked down at my feet.

Nishalle looked at me sternly from her chair, but her tone was understanding when she spoke again. “Tae, I slip sometimes too, it’s hard not to, especially with those dreams and memories we’ve been having. She’s not Mom, she’s different, just like you’re different from Rhiannon. Moira isn’t looking for replacements for her daughter, just like we’re not looking for a replacement for Mom. Nobody can replace who they were to us, but mother and daughter, when you come down to it they’re just labels and it’s not those labels, but rather the people who hold them that we love. If it’s really a problem for you calling Amoiraishe Mom, try calling her Mahair instead, it’s the elvish word and should come naturally, but still be different enough to help with any guilt. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone you care enough about to give those titles though, and Mom would be happy that we’ve found someone to fill that hole in our lives. She would want us to be happy and fulfilled and I’ve known Moira long enough to be able to see she feels the same. Sure, she can be stern and vindictive as hell, but so can I, and when she cares about a person she would break down the gates of Hell for them.”

“It’s hard to not see that she cares,” I agreed, “but I think she’s hiding things, not telling us the whole truth. There’s more than just the stuff in the game going on here, something big, but I’m not sure I want to know what it is.”

“I get that feeling too, she’s trying to protect us from something I think. She’s told us about her problems with the Board of Directors and her counterparts in the other offices, and she’s telling us the truth about other stuff, at least as much as she thinks she can. She won’t lie to us, but she’s very good at telling half-truths,” Nishalle agreed, echoing my own thoughts on the matter.

“Something else bothers me,” Rei put in after a short silence. “She’s a businesswoman, and obviously a successful one, but she is going out of her way to keep the game as is and started the closed beta early to keep the board from shelving the project. She’s also actively fought them to prevent her technology from being sold to the highest bidder when it would be far more profitable for her to go along with it. I can totally get not wanting this kind of tech falling into the wrong hands, but speaking from a purely business standpoint it just doesn’t make sense.”

I nodded my agreement. “Good point, and there’s something else I’ve been noticing too. All of the players that I’ve been talking to don’t have much in the way of family or friends in the outside world. Just look at our group alone. Lissany was a bit of an outcast due to her transition and only has her Mom, while Venika just has her and a few work friends, namely you and Moira who are all here as well. Lark wanted to get away from her parents so badly that she emancipated herself, Grell said that he and Pete don’t have much of a social or family life, Daenyss has nobody and nothing to go back to even if she did remember her life, and the three of us only really had each other until you started working for Moira. I don’t think this is a coincidence given the level of background checks Moira had done on all of us. So, is she doing this for us, or because we won’t be missed?”

“I think that it’s a combination of the two,” my sister agreed. “I used to talk to her about you a lot because I didn’t like you working a drone job. You could do so much better than that if you didn’t have all that anxiety. She tried to get me to recruit you for the company, but you weren’t interested when I brought it up. She practically begged me and April to join the closed beta and said that it would help Danielle to experience living as a female. Rei, when I told her about your gender situation, and how your family treated you when you came out, and that you were practically Caleb’s fiancée she offered you a place in the game, I didn’t even need to ask her. She wants to give people a bit of happiness and comfort with who they are and maybe some friends and a bit of family, but at the same time, I don’t think she wants anyone to lose family if something bad does happen during closed beta. She feels terrible that you’re stuck as a female Tae, but she’s as proud as I am to see you coming out of your shell and taking on the leadership role.”

“I’m not really too upset about the gender thing anymore, I’m getting used to it and the dysphoria is decreasing. Besides, it’s a closed beta, these are exactly the type of bugs we need to find before the official release. I sorta feel bad now that I accused her of purposely messing with me. Sure she’s hiding things, probably something really big, but it’s probably not something that we can do anything about anyway. For now let’s just try to keep our eyes open and enjoy the game, to tell the truth, right now I’m more worried about our Winter Court guest then about what Moira might be hiding,” I told them.

“Try not to worry, I’m sure you’ll handle him fine again, not that he’ll get the chance to do anything else. Lissany and I will be watching him,” Nishalle assured me.

“We’ll all be watching him,” my fiancée corrected, a foxfire appearing in her opened hand. “Nobody tries anything like that with my girl if she doesn’t want it.”

“To be fair, Fae are mostly polyamorous and sex is a really casual thing so it’s not the first or last time for such an offer. That being said, I wouldn’t do that to you, even with my increasing Fae attitudes about things,” I pointed out before emitting an unladylike snort of disgust. “And I wouldn’t do it with that jerk in any case, I already know more than I want to about him. Your possessiveness is kind of cute though.”

Rei put her arms around me and kissed me softly, though she refrained from doing anything that might sexually stimulate me while the dysphoria could still rear its ugly head. “I’m not being possessive, I’m being protective. I know you wouldn’t do that without my okay, sweetie, but I’m not that insecure. I know that you love me and I wouldn’t be against us having an open relationship when you’re ready for that, at least while we’re in these bodies. All I ask is that we’re both honest with each other about who else we’re sexually active with and that we take both take precautions. As for Narek, if he goes too far again when you’ve made it clear that you’re not interested, I may just send part of him home in an urn. Maybe without it, he’d be a little more diplomatic.”

I wasn’t really expecting to hear that from her. Neither the offer of an open relationship nor the threat toward Narek. “What?” I asked, uncertain that I had heard her correctly.

“You heard me,” she said with that sexy smile of hers. No matter what form she was in I was always attracted to her and I was beginning to question whether I might just be panromantic rather than bisexual like I had always thought. Could it maybe be a Fae thing, or was I like this all along? If nothing else, this game was opening my eyes to self-discovery.

“You mean that…” I started to ask.

“Yes,” she confirmed insistently. “I did threaten Narek with what you thought I did and I am okay with us having an open relationship as Rei and Taelya as long as we’re both careful and open about it and I’m your first when you get over the dysphoria. You make an awesome Fae and I think that while you are one that you should try to embrace and enjoy that part of yourself. I think I’m going to take Fae Culture and that Faerie Dance skill of yours so I can understand all of this better too.”

I didn’t think that I could love her anymore, but apparently, I was wrong. “You’d do all of that for me?”

“Of course I would, I know you’d do the same for me too, it’s why we’re in this game. It doesn’t matter who we share our bodies with, I know that your soul belongs to me, just as mine belongs to you.” She kissed me again and this time I returned the kiss passionately before remembering that my sister was still with us and sat back down with a blush anointing my cheeks.

Nishalle broke the awkward silence with a laugh. “I’d say get a room, but I guess we’re already in yours. To tell the truth though, now that I’ve gotten the Fae Culture skill, I think I want to take Faerie Dance as well, I can think of at least one person that I might want to… umm… get to know better. I don’t really have much experience IRL.”

“Pete right? I’ve seen the way that you two have been looking at one another,” I teased.

“Yeah, he’s cute and he’s a nice guy,” my sister admitted while looking at her knees. “Most guys just aren’t interested in me because in real life I’m a plain Jane and a tomboy, I can be a horrible tease, and I have no problems with saying exactly what’s on my mind. They’re either not attracted to me because I’m not some pretty little bimbo or they’re intimidated. Pete isn’t intimidated, even with me being a Tokh'dhraí, and he teases me right back. I kind of like being Nishalle, not just because I stand out a bit, but because it doesn’t surprise people when I don’t hold back, they accept me for who I am more readily. I kind of like the whole femme fatale thing I have going too, it works for me so I’m stepping out of my shell and wearing things I never would in real life.”

“Yeah so am I,” I replied tartly to her comment about clothes. “It is kind of growing on me though, or at least becoming less of an issue, as the dysphoria fades. It’s like clothes, in general, aren’t worth getting bent out of shape about, unless it’s for a special occasion and then I want to look just right. A lot of times I almost feel like I’d be more comfortable wearing nothing at all.”

We stayed up for a while after that just talking about things and how we were adjusting to the game. With just me, my fiancée, and my sister there it was kind of like before we entered the game, but at the same time, it was so much different. For one thing, I never would have had a conversation about how much nicer silk bras and panties felt compared to the regular off the rack stuff, not to mention how it didn’t cause horrible rashes. That was my reality now though and would be as long as I kept playing Taelya, so I just took it for what it was, a good time with the two people in the world that I felt closest to.

Once Nishalle had left to return to her own room, we got ready for bed and I changed my tampon and put a pad in my panties before getting into a crimson silk baby doll nightie and climbing into bed with Rei. She wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close, but she was careful not to touch me in any way that might set off my dysphoria. I was feeling much safer, not to mention happier, as I fell asleep in her arms.

“Mahair, what are the Fae of the other Courts like?” I asked my mother. We had just finished a lesson on the history and duties of the Yseil'dhraí and I was curious. I wanted to go outside and play with Nishalle and Venika, but at the same time, I was a bit confused and wanted to have answers to the questions burning in my mind. “You said that the other Yseil'dhraí look different than us and that each of us looks like one of the Four, but are there other things that are different too?”

Once I had found my sister and my friend I did manage to convince them to come with me. The animals enjoyed the attention, but they only played with the cú sídhe since the vsilja wouldn’t let them get too close. It wasn’t much of a surprise since vsilja can be pretty vicious and only ever calm down for Yseil'dhraí. Still, we had a good chase through the forest to the flower meadow and while my vsilja grazed on the tall grasses my companions and I leaned up against the large body of one of the cú sídhe, snuggling in its shaggy green fur and eventually falling asleep in the afternoon sunshine.

I woke up contented as Daenyss tapped gently at the bedroom door. As strange as it still was to be dreaming of growing up as Taelya the dream had been a pleasant one and it left me in a good mood. I still needed to take a deep breath and push away the dysphoria when I moved and had that surge of wrongness about my body, but that was practically becoming part of my morning routine since being in the game. “Mistress, it is time to get ready for your day,” my Attendant called out.

“I’ll be right out Daenyss,” I called back quietly as I extracted myself from Rei’s embrace. I didn’t want to wake him, and it was definitely him this morning. I had been half expecting a male mood with how protective Rei was last night and now his humanoid Kitsune form matched, his red fox ears twitching in a tousled mess of short black hair atop the handsome Japanese features of his usual male form. When Rei was feeling manly it wasn’t huge and over-muscled. He was taller of course, but he didn’t really identify as one of those bodybuilder types who spent too much time in the gym. No, he was fit and toned without looking like a gorilla with all that muscle and hair.

You may be thinking, “He’s in a manly mood so why doesn’t he look more manly?” The answer is that, for Rei, it’s not about looking manly or trying to fit into those stereotypical jock appearances. He just wants to feel comfortable in his own skin and have the correct body parts. Beyond that, Rei is the type who believes that manliness isn’t found in one’s appearance but one’s state of mind, how one acts and treats others. Sure he likes to be handsome and strong, but the definition of handsome varies from person to person, and strength isn’t just found on the outside, although his toned body did display taut muscles. I was just happy that he could be comfortable with his body because to me, no matter what form she or he may take, he was perfect just the way he was.

I smiled at Rei, feeling those warm fuzzies throughout my body as I lingered a moment to just look at him and drink in his appearance, his comfort with himself that I had never seen him have as Jess. Even in girl mode, she had never let herself get too comfortable with her body because she never knew when that comfort would come crashing down like a house of cards. “Yes the dysphoria is definitely worth this,” I whispered as I kissed him one last time and slipped out of bed to get pampered by Daenyss.

Daenyss again tried to respect my comfort as much as she could while still properly carrying out her duties. I really did appreciate the effort and compassion on her part as we went through the routine of getting me ready for the day and I told her about how dinner had gone the night before. It was the first time that I had ever sensed anger from Daenyss since she had joined us. She was absolutely livid and trying not to show it as she bathed me. “Daenyss, you’re upset, please tell me what’s wrong,” I encouraged her.

She was silent for a moment longer as she lathered and scrubbed, but finally, she did speak. “I… I know that I’m not one who should pass judgment, given what I was told that I have done, but how dare he? Treating a princess of any Court like that is horrible, and Lissany does not deserve that either. You could have done far worse to him than what you did and you would have been within your rights doing so. I do not think that I would have done as well, I am so angry that I want to… I do not know what I want to do.”

“The line starts after Nishalle and Rei, and probably everyone else who has met Narek,” I told her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. “Are you going to do something to him?”

The Nymph shook her head slowly. “No Mistress, as angry as I am, it is not my place to do so unless you ask me to become involved. I would gladly stand with you should you ask it, but I do not wish to shame you or the Autumn Court, by letting my emotions rule me and going too far.”

“Then you are no worse than I am Daenyss,” I assured her. “I did threaten to kill him after all. I could have done far worse, I wanted to do worse, but I held myself back to not make Mahair or the Autumn Court look bad. That’s no different than what you’re feeling. And you feel this way out of concern for me and Lissany, not for some selfish reason, so I think that you’re a far better person than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

“Why did you threaten his life if you were holding back?” she asked.

“Court Politics,” I replied with a shrug as I lifted a leg for her to clean. “I would have looked weak, and very like the child, he accused me of being, if I had done nothing and let Mahair handle it for me. I wanted to try out the new transfiguration spell I’ve been working on to turn him into a little white mouse but I needed to give a warning before I can fairly punish a visiting ambassador. He needed to remember that he was a guest and representing his Court and to know that we weren’t going to tolerate such disrespect in our own home. We also needed to make a show of strength to let all of our guests know that, while we were willing to welcome them, they are here at our pleasure and that kind of behavior isn’t going to be tolerated.”

“Can I watch when you do turn him into a mouse?” the Nymph asked with a smile.

“Well, hopefully, that won’t be necessary,” I told her with a grin. “You should have seen the look on his face when Nishalle threatened him. I’m hoping that his fear of just how many ways a Tokh'dhraí assassin could dream up to kill him will keep him well away for me for a while. If it comes to that she’ll probably deal with him before I can.”

“What would you like me to do then Mistress?”

I’d like you to stick with me as much as possible, I’m afraid that he might try to use those close to me and you don’t need that with all that you’ve been through. If he tries approaching you when you’re on your own then tell him that you require your mistress’s permission before speaking with or serving him. If he tries to push the matter and you feel uncomfortable then teleport straight to me,” I cautioned her as she washed the other leg.

“Yes Mistress,” she confirmed with a relieved expression before inquiring, “may I ask what we are doing today then?”

I thought about that for a moment before replying, “Well, with all the supplies we brought back yesterday we should be able to take it easy for at least a few days. Mahair wants to do more training with me on controlling Nature’s Call, and I figure that the others will all want to do some training of their own while I’m doing that. I was also thinking of maybe giving Lark and our guests from the other Courts a tour of Haven and introducing them to Becky and Mayor Gibson, maybe get some questing in, and I should try to get a magick lesson in for Becky and Kinara if I can manage it. I should introduce you to our guests as well.”

“We should go for a more relaxed look this morning for your training, a simple dress and no makeup should work fine. I will need some time to properly prepare you before going into Haven though. Is there anything that you would like me to wear while in the village?” The Nymph shifted uncomfortably as she asked the question.

I winced sympathetically. I knew how hard it had been on her yesterday even wearing just my sleepshirt while we were in Haven unloading the supplies. “I’m sorry, I know how uncomfortable you Nymphs are in clothes. I’ll try to think of something to help with that okay? Speaking of Nymphs though, how did your dinner go last night?”

“My mother seemed very happy to have me there. She and the other Nymphs are very friendly and taught me a lot, like how to control my urges,” she replied as she got behind me to scrub my back. “They’re all looking forward to the full moon next week though.”

“I imagine they would be,” I said, thinking back to my dreams of my Jhashaira. “I had pretty vivid dreams recently, including one about my Jhashaira. It was a bit disturbing remembering things from a childhood I know wasn’t mine, but I clearly remember enjoying myself. I don’t see how there can be many Faelings coming of age in the game this early on though.”

“I have clear memories of my Jhashaira as well, Mistress,” Daenyss began uncertainly as she started washing my hair. “Maybe it’s because I don’t have any other memories from before, but all my memories from the skill downloads are pretty clear. It feels a little strange sometimes, most of my memories are of being a Nymph, but I know that I was a man before entering the game. I was wondering how it would work in the game so I asked my mother about that when they mentioned it. She said that any Fae characters over the age of eighteen who wish to participate and do not have the Faerie Dance skill will be eligible for their Jhashaira and will learn the skill if they do participate.”

“Okay, that’s cool, Nishalle was talking about learning it and Venika might be interested too. I’m not sure if I will want to participate in the whole celebration, I’m still fairly uncomfortable with my body, even if it is getting better.” I said with a shiver. That, my sister’s probable involvement, and the thought of Narek being there as a guest wasn’t exactly making me want to jump into what would essentially be an all-night orgy.

“I am uncertain whether I will be comfortable enough in my body by then either,” Daenyss agreed. Then, in response to my shivering, she stopped lathering my hair to look me over in concern. “Is the water too cold Mistress? We will be finished shortly, but I can add more hot water if you wish it.”

“That’s okay Daenyss, I was just thinking about something that made me a bit uncomfortable, I’ll be fine,” I told her. We were both quiet for the remainder of my morning preparations, our conversation kept to a minimum as we were both lost in our thoughts.

Breakfast was animated, with only Narek remaining silent. That didn’t stop him from watching me in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable, at least until Nishalle caught his eye and glared at him across the table while making a show of licking her lips while flipping her knife in her hand before catching it to hold it with the blade pointed downward and just slightly toward him. She didn’t have to say a word. Narek turned as white as his hair and for the rest of the meal, he was looking everywhere except in my direction.

He also declined our invitation of a tour of Haven later that day, or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what his snort of disdain was meant to imply. Lark and our guests from the Summer and Spring Courts seemed eager enough though, especially when I mentioned a possible magick lesson for Kinara and Sheriff Shaw. They were also looking forward to meeting some of the other local Fae players, taking on some quests, and doing a bit of exploring of our server since the environment and cultural aspects were a bit different for each server.

After breakfast was over Amoiraishe took me to the shore and began working with me on controlling Nature’s Call, having me expand my senses to get a feel for the beach, the ocean, and the creatures that dwelled in both since the forest wasn’t the only aspect of nature that it could control. While I was training so were the others: Grell had gone down the beach to where Ashura and some of the other Atlantean players were building homes so that he and Ashura could start designing possible devices that would help address some of our more pressing needs. Kinara’s father, Maekin, had joined Lissany, Nishalle, and Pete with sword practice. Venika was practicing some of the spells I had been working on with her while Kinara looked on in keen interest, and Sahnae was speaking with Rei in Japanese and teaching her some new meditation techniques that she thought would help with his connection to Inari.

Daenyss was trying to stay close by in case I needed her, but she too was training. I had thought that the gold ornament in her hair was purely decorative, but it turned out to have a small dagger sheathed within it and she was practicing quickly withdrawing it and throwing it at a target in one smooth motion. She could have practiced with the AK-47 or the Glock that we had placed in her chest in my rooms, but we didn’t want to waste the ammo, and summoning and dismissing them seemed to come fairly easily for her.

We trained hard for most of the morning before returning home for an early lunch and then Daenyss quickly prepared me for our trip into Haven. I was dressed in one of the nicer cotton sundresses that we had gotten in the city, white with a pattern of red and gold autumn leaves. I had liked the pattern as soon as I had seen it, it just screamed Autumn Court. Beneath that, I was wearing white silk undergarments and a pair of white sandals. My hair was of course in its regular style with my Nature’s Crown atop my head. As for Daenyss, I kind of improvised by casting a glamour on her that made it appear like she was wearing clothes. She seemed so happy as we went into town since the glamour didn’t bother her like real clothes would, and she was still technically complying with local laws.

The tour of Haven and the introductions of our new guests to some of the locals went well, but they did get quite a bit of attention, especially Kinara and Sahnae. Nobody was expecting to see Yseil'dhraí from any of the other Courts after all. Even Becky seemed surprised. Amoiraishe had sent her a memo that we would be getting guests from other servers, but at that time she hadn’t known what to expect either. Haven’s Sheriff was happy to be getting back to her magick lessons and even though it took some of my time away from her she was pleased that I was teaching Kinara now as well. It wasn’t too bad though since I had already taught Venika most of the stuff that I was teaching them, and that gave me a second set of eyes to make sure that they were both pronouncing and drawing the sigils properly. Kinara was a bit of a natural, despite her lack of formal training, but that was to be expected as a Yseil'dhraí. All that she really lacked was confidence and the ability and experience to create new spells of her own.

We finished our day before dinner by doing some short quests such as helping to finish building the defensive wall around town and some hunting and gathering. By dinner time we were all a bit tired from a long day as we returned to the estate where Amoiraishe and Narek were giving one another cold looks across the dinner table while awaiting us and the evening meal. After dinner, we were all free to entertain ourselves and I noticed that Lissany was doing her best to make both Lark and Kinara feel like part of the family by taking them to her room to play a game of Monopoly that she had found in Haven’s general store, I was pretty pleased as the three of them walked off to her room chattering like close friends

Over the next week, our days were basically a repeat of that as we fell into a contented pattern and our guests settled in. As that time passed I found myself getting to like most of them more and more. Lark was going to fit in with our group fairly well I thought, even with her whole secret identity glamour and the representatives of the Spring and Summer Courts were diplomatic, friendly, and eager to help out where they could. Daenyss and I were growing closer as well, she really did care about me a lot and I was starting to see her as a friend as well as my Attendant. My only real concern was Narek, he was still watching me and making me uncomfortable anytime when he didn’t think Nishalle or Lissany were watching him, and it made me nervous waiting for the other shoe to drop. Still, the week was pleasant enough, settling into a sort of new normal for us, at least until two days before the full moon when I awoke feeling that something was wrong.