In this chapter, our hero gets a new understanding of what delicate can mean, learns about a confrontation in the principal's office, and follows a friend in pain into the unknown.

Copyright 2020 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

I entered a cozy office, and saw a woman with long, coppery hair sitting at the far end of an overstuffed sofa. She looked up when the door closed, and gave me a warm smile. "Hello", she said as she stood. "Are you Tracy Thomas?"

"I guess so," I said while trying to shove my hands into pockets I no longer had.

"Hmmm," she said as she picked up a tablet from the table in front of the sofa. "So ... you're not sure?"

"No, it ain't that," I said while playing with the hem of my skirt. "It's just ... something weird happened when they transferred my records to this school, and my name got entered backwards."

"Ah," she said as she glanced at the device in her hand. "So, you prefer ... Thomas Tracy?"

"Tommy, actually."

She did some one-handed typing, then sat and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Tommy. I'm Dr Anne Korvin." She patted the thick seat cushion on the other side of the sofa. "Would you like to join me?"

"Sure," I said as I pulled off my backpack, then sat with my back against the padded armrest.

Dr Korvin looked at her tablet again, then said, "According to the message your teacher sent, it looks like there'd been some sort of a confrontation with another student."

"You could say that," I said as I dug my fingers into the velvet folds of the cushion under me.

She nodded, then asked, "Could you describe what happened?"

"Well ... some jerk was getting on my case. I tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't let up, so I told him to back off."

"And how was he getting on your case?"

He was just saying ... just ... stuff," I said as I wrapped my arms over my queasy stomach.

"I realize this may be difficult," she said as she leaned closer, "but would you mind telling me what he said?"

"He was asking about ... bras." A sour taste rose in the back of my throat. "And ... like ... asking if I was ... wearing one."

Dr Korvin's brows lowered. "That was quite an inappropriate thing for him to say." Her face and voice softened as she asked, "How did that make you feel?"

"It made me wanna punch him!"

"And did you?"

"Well ... no."

"So, what did you do?"

"I yelled at him."

The therapist nodded. "That's a very normal reaction. Do you know why you yelled, instead of hitting him?"

"I guess 'cause my therapist - I mean another therapist, not you - has been helping me with anger stuff, and ... maybe some of what he's been sayin' kinda finally stuck with me."

"Is he a therapist from your previous school?"

I shook my head and said, "Dr Zigler's somebody my mom took me to."

Doctor Korvin spent a few second seconds entering something on her device, then asked, "Have you felt more in control of your anger since you started seeing him?"

"Well, there's a major piece of ... something, that ain't got a bloody nose, still walking around. So, I guess ... yeah, he's kinda helped."

"I'm glad to hear that. While it can be unhealthy to suppress emotions, even negative ones, it is important to control how we react." She gave me a serious look as she said, "It's especially important to learn control if we feel inclined to react in ways that might cause harm to others, or ourselves."

I thought back to the last time I'd let loose on someone, and the trouble it had caused, for both me and my mom. "I'm kinda learning that."

The therapist nodded, then became quiet as her grey eyes searched for ... something. Eventually, she asked, "Has he helped you with any other issues?"

"Urmmm ... like what?"

The therapist tapped her chin, then said, "I'd like to ask you a question, but I want you to be aware that you don't need to answer it, if you'd rather not. Okay?"

I tried to imagine what sort of question she was going to ask, gave up, and nodded.

"Is there a gender with which you most identify?"

"Ya mean like, boy or girl?"

"Yes, or any of the many other genders."

"There's more'n two?"

Dr Korvin smiled. "Oh yes, there's quite a few."

"Like what?"

"Let me see," she said as she set her tablet down on her lap."Besides boy and girl," she added as she counted off on her fingers, "there's transboy, transgirl, nonbinary, genderfluid, rugged, delicate-" ¹

"Wait a minute. Delicate's a gender?"

"Actually, it's more often used as an adjective describing a gender, when someone wants something a little more neutral than feminine, but it's also used by some as a gender."

I thought about that for a while. Once I remembered what an adjective was, more thoughts swirled around. "Ya mean, somebody could be like ... a delicate, or a delicate ... boy?

"Exactly!"

I thought some more. "How ya know which one y'are?"

"That question can be very easy, or very difficult, to answer." The therapist rested her elbows on her knees, and held her chin in her hands. "Does delicate, or delicate boy, feel as if it describes your gender in a meaningful way?"

"I ... I ain't sure. Is that weird?"

"Not at all. Gender identity isn't always an easy concept to grasp, and finding a way of describing how you feel can be challenging."

"Would it be okay if like, for now, I went with ... boy?"

"Absolutely," she said with a firm nod.

"Even if I'm dressed like a girl?"

"Does what you're wearing make you feel like a girl?"

I chewed on a thumbnail for a while, then said, "I dunno."

"Does it make you feel like a boy, or any other gender?"

"Well ... it don't make me feel like a boy. I ain't sure 'bout other genders."

"Does it make you feel anything else?"

I shrugged and said, "I guess I feel different, but not in a bad way."

Dr Korvin's tablet chirped. Her eyes scanned down the screen, then she looked at me and said, "The principal is asking me to consult on an issue that's come up, but I'd like to continue our discussion. Would you mind if I scheduled an appointment for us to meet again tomorrow?"

"Uhhmmm ... sure," I said. While I wasn't much of a fan of therapy, I'd enjoyed talking to her, and had a growing list of questions I wanted to ask.

"Wonderful!" she said while doing some fancy fingerwork on her tablet. "Okay, I've set up our appointment." Two muffled chimes came from my backpack when she made a couple of swiping motions. "I've also sent you a list of some of the genders, and a list some of the pronouns you may hear being used here at this school."

"Thanks," I said as I picked up my backpack.

"You're welcome," she said as she stood. "I'm so glad I got to meet you, Mr ... or would you prefer Miss?"

"Would just Tommy be okay?"

The therapist smiled and held out a hand. "I'm looking forward to our next appointment, Tommy."

I returned the smile as I shook her hand, and said, "Me too."

=-=-=

I'd decided reading the gender list was the first thing I wanted to do, and was going through it while walking back to Mr Mason's class, when the squeak of a door opening caught my attention. I smiled and waved when Vic walked through the doorway, followed a moment later by Chrissy.

Vic smiled back and said, "Hey, good to see ya!"

I noticed his eyes were red and puffy when I stopped in front of him. "You okay?" I asked.

"Meh, I've been better."

"What happened?"

"Just kinda talked to the principal about some stuff."

Chrissy walked up from behind Vic and said, "Stuff de probably shoulda brought up a long time ago."

I wondered about the odd sounding pronoun ², and decided reading Dr Korvin's other list would be the next thing I needed to do as I asked, "Ya got sent to the principal?"

Vic shrugged. "Not exactly. After ya left with Richie, Mr Mason asked if anybody'd heard what Griff had said. I hadn't heard everything, but when I told him what I did hear, he asked me if I'd come with him when he went to see Mrs McCrudger."

Chrissy wrapped an arm around Vic's waist, and gave him a sideways hug. "I hadn't heard anything, but I came along for moral support."

"Wow," I said, "so ya told the principal everything Griff said to me?"

"Well, as much as I'd been able to understand," Vic said as he nodded. "Even though I didn't hear everything, what I did hear, plus what Mr Mason said, was enough to get Griff in trouble."

Chrissy sighed and said, "Of course, Griff completely denied everything."

Vic tensed as he said, "That's when I called him a soddin' liar." His fingers curled up, and his knuckles turned white. "When he called me a liar back, something inside me broke, and stuff I'd never planned on telling anybody just started pouring out."

I thought about how Griff had treated Vic in the hallway, and how he'd treated me in the classroom. "Holy crap," I said in a low voice. "What happened?"

"Well ... a couple weeks ago, Griff followed me into the loo," he said in a shaky voice, "and he ... he ..." Vic's jaw moved a couple of times before his mouth closed. A few tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes.

Chrissy ran a hand up and down his back as she said, "Ya wanna find someplace more private to talk?"

When Vic nodded, Chissy took his hand, and led him to a door on the other side of the hall.

It was a door with a sign that said, 'Girl's Restroom'.

Neither Vic or Chrissy paid much attention to the sign as they walked into the bathroom. I began to follow, then paused when the door swung shut behind them. While I'd never considered going into such a place before, I knew someone I cared about on the other side of the door was hurting.

I spent a minute doing some breathing exercises, but my hands were still unsteady when I placed them on the door. I closed my eyes, willed enough strength into my arms to push the door open, and walked into the inner sanctum of all the things I'd always felt I could never be.

=-=-=

Footnotes:
¹ Delicate and rugged are identifiers for those who might consider describing themselves as feminine or masculine, but don't want to use words so strongly linked with whatever bits someone has. They can also be used as replacements for female and male, if you're looking for a somewhat neutral, but still nuanced gender.
²Below is a list of pronouns for those who use delicate or rugged as a gender.