It was like old times, eating out for breakfast and talking about the day before. That was with one big exception: it used to be that I didn’t say much as I was either listening to my parents and others or it was my sisters talking away. I used to eat sitting in the middle of my sisters while they were talking about their girlfriends, boys they had seen, or fashion and makeup. All those things used to be yuck to me.

Today not only do I like that talk but I am in the middle of it. Sonja asked, “Are you happy that Brad Thomas has asked you to the prom?” That wasn’t to be part of this morning’s discussion. Now, quickly everyone turned to see what my Dad would say.

But it was Mom who spoke up, “Please tell me that it’s the idea of wearing a beautiful gown and not the idea that you’re crazy for this boy Brady?”

I said, “Yes, the big thing is the chance to go with my friends as we all go look for prom dresses. I remember going with you when I was younger and watching Shannon and then all my sisters get all excited. And then how beautiful they were and all the fuss made about them going to the prom. I never thought I’d ever get the chance to feel like that.”

Our Father finally spoke up, he said, “Don’t get too excited, because you haven’t yet been given permission to go or to look for a gown. I am not going to make any decision in the heat of these days. I can promise you that I won’t make a decision until Wednesday at the earliest so don’t bring it up before then, or else.”

Shannon squeezed my hand underneath the table. She faintly says, “He’s at least considering it.”

When we went back to our suite, my mother came with us while my father went to their room. We got onto our floor and were making our way to our room and Audrene Trullo was there with my best sailor uniform. It had already been laundered, with all the wrinkles out.

My mother asked, “Why did you do that? I thought the cheerleaders could go back just in their celebration shirts.”

“I’m her decorum coach, I was happy to do it. And no the cheerleaders will be in uniform by the time they get to where the fire trucks meet us. I think they will be on the first truck and act as escort for the members of the team into town.”

Mom said, “I guess, we were hoping not that there not be much fuss about Dort being present.”

A little color came to Audrene’s face as I’m sure it did mine. But it was Audrene who spoke up, “Well, I guess you should have spoken up for Robert early on. Before he made the effort to go along with all this. Rose has earned the right to be as beautiful as she can today.”

Audrene came to me, gave me a hug, and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken up. I am however very proud of you.”

I, and as I said it, my sisters spoke up in agreement. “Audrene, you were wonderful in doing all this and your words expressed my sentiments too” Shannon had opened the door to our suite and we all went in.

Mom did apologize and thanked Audrene. “I should thank you for all the help you’ve been for Rob, um Rose. It was insightful to hear your perspective. I am reluctant to accept some things, but hopefully, I’m open to making some progress.”

Audrene excused herself, “I need to get back; Nick is watching Marie. She wanted to come to see you but it was too much for me to handle the outfit and her as well.”

I noticed not only how nice the outfit was looking but that Audrene or someone had put on the rank symbol of being Chief Petty Officer.

Shannon suggested that I wear a pair of white tights and wear a regular coat when we were to first get on the firetruck. “You are going to be up either outside the truck or someplace with a wide open window and you hanging out. You will need to deal with the cold and freezing your buns off long enough.”

I liked her thinking, I wouldn’t have thought of the tights nor the coat until it was too late.

I got dressed, gave my luggage to my sisters and then made my way to the Spirit team. We, the Spirit team, had things to load on the bus, to give to the team in route to the school. There were several pictures and even a poster of the team as champs.

The bus going back was much better than a school bus or even the normal bus for school events.

We got a sendoff at the hotel and then a convoy of vehicles following or leading out bus. The basketball players had an air about themselves that they were special. A cheerleader walking to in the aisle was subject to being pulled into a seat with one of the players. They joked and gave us a hug and kiss us like we were an added perk of their championship.

Coach Daley did speak up come halfway into the trip home. “Okay, we’re going to stop so you don’t need to use that small toilet back there. Stretch your legs and get a snack if you wish. I want you back on good behavior and when we get going treat the Spirit Team with the respect they deserve. They’ve been with you through this long season and deserve better.”

Trish Dunlavy said to me, “I don’t think any of us meant to be disrespectful. I like you a lot and my affection came from my heart.” I wanted to say, ‘It would have been good to say that upfront and given me the option of how I might show…’ Well whatever, I’m hopeful it was over and done.

I had not ever been around popular people or people at school that had done anything special to know if what happened was normal. I didn’t know if it was the guy in me or being Rose, but snuggling and a little foreplay felt okay by me. Trish is in good shape and the soft anatomy of another girl was nice. ‘Another girl,’ hmm. I really do see myself as a girl now.

There was a large parking lot that we stopped at, of a company that had gone out of business, so no one was using it. The firetrucks, two police cars and a large limo with School Board Members were there to help lead us into town. A County Sheriff’s vehicle and a State Trooper were also escorting us as we were still outside the town limits. It was there that Lieutenant Fields and two sailors got out of the limo, and went to be with the team. While Debra Triens and Kayla Bowen came over to the fire engine we were to ride in.

Mr. Riley the Fire Chief called me to get in the cab and to poke myself through the roof to greet people from there along with Debra Triens. He was a family friend and seemingly appreciated how well I have handled myself. He said, “I hope you don’t mind my saying it, but you’ve become a more attractive girl as the season progressed. I remember watching one of my daughters changing as she grew from a girl to a young woman. You remind me of then.”

I said, “Thanks, it was strange at first. Then I decided to just relax and go along with things and accept them. It is nice to have people like you who are supportive.”

There were people at the edge of town: some on their front steps, along the side of the street, and others in cars ready to join the caravan. Some said we’re to go to city hall first and be greeted by the mayor and city council; others said we’re to go directly to the school. Some said the city officials in the limo were going to give recognition to crew from the USS Cook as well as the Destroyer Basketball team.

We passed two churches and we could hear them ringing their church bells. They were joined by Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, children in the play area of a preschool. A number of semi-trucks parked along the road blew their air horns.

It was unbelievable as it took three times as long to get wherever we were going. We did stop at City Hall and the presentations to the team and to the crew made us a half hour late in getting to the school.

By now I was eternally grateful to have on the tights and white mittens that someone thought ahead to have for us. Fire Chief Riley told me they were from the fire department.

Every now and then Deb Triens told me a tidbit of their adventure. With each time I would hug her and come close to tears. She wasn’t able to tell me what had exactly happened other than it came close to open conflict.

There I am so excited for our basketball team and in awe of what the crew of the USS Cook had gone through. Deb said that being with us gave them the freedom to celebrate and release their pent-up emotion. She asked me, “Do you celebrate at the end of a day, in getting out of your uniform and girl clothes?”

My answer was, “Rarely, after the first ten days. More and more I came to hope I could sleep as Rose and continue to be this part of me.”

Debra asked, “Do you really think, she is part of you? When you came to our ship before we left, there were those who thought that might be the case. There were both a nurse and a psychiatrist both who thought you were already too girl-like.”

I said, “When I was really young. I used to wish I was one of the sisters. I didn’t think of that until after I began to like being in Dort’s uniform and my clothes as Rose. That became hard when I felt wrong in liking it. I didn’t want to be a sissy or a girly boy. I got called things like that until Sharon and Ann became stronger in their support for me. But it started earlier when Therese and then Trish Dunlavy around Christmas.”

The siren blasted again and we were back on our way to the School. Everything there was so loud and we, the cheerleaders, were behind most of it.

We each received a copy of the Courier News, a regional newspaper’s sports’ headline celebrating. It made everyone proud.

Unfortunately, a reporter had asked a question concerning Coach Daley’s coaching salary. A school board member was being cited, “She is well paid for a woman’s coach as it is.”

The reporter stated in the article that Coach Daley was fifth from the top of the conference. When I pointed that out to Anne, she said, “Don’t you be the one to point that out.”

Fortunately for the day, everyone was centered on all the good news. I suspect most were excited and listening to all players. I wholeheartedly listened to Coach Daley; like when I sat at the end of the bench. Coach Daley spoke of the discipline and talent of the girls that translated on and off the court all season.

I spoke loud enough, wanting Trish and Jenn to hear me. I said, “And what Coach Daley taught rubbed off on this cheerleader.” Coach heard my comment, paused and then said. “We cannot know for sure, but the players and the coaches believe our cheerleaders helped us to get up for game after game. The Cheerleaders and our mascot ‘Dort the Destroyer’ helped to bring our team to the attention of others. We even heard from newspapers and sports people who had not given us attention before. Our basketball players won a state championship, but the School and community have also been shown in a good light.”

The proceedings continued on and I was getting nervous as I needed to pee. I was about to run to a restroom, but then I heard someone say, “We heard time and again how wonderful our cheerleaders are and about their gymnastics. But we as a team could never relax and fully enjoy them. We would love to hear and enjoy a few cheers and then have them show off their gymnastic capabilities. Sharon and Sandra the co-captains said, “We would be happy to do it as the pressure of the state playoffs was now off.”

I growled inside, “Why didn’t they tell the rest of us?”

Anne saw my expression and asked, “Is there a problem?”

When I told her I needed to pee she giggled and then asked, “How good is your pad?” She then said, “Don’t panic if some dribbles out the pad will hold it. If you don’t panic you’ll make it. Afterward, if you need to run for relief, tell people later you got sick. We don’t tell them we needed to pee.”

I was glad that I was in only two of the three cheers. Given a microphone, Sandra said, “Sharon and I were happy that Coach House reintroduced this part of our cheering. We are happy to demonstrate what we can do. But since this is not only our last time but probably Rose’s as well; I want to ask Dort to hold nothing back. She had always done some of her best stuff during practice. That was so she didn’t show off.” Sharon, Sandy and I did the cheer of introducing each player, alternating our parts and adding the number of flips as we went along. My last time I did three flips, two backward, and a cartwheel ending in a split.

I was happy when I stood up and there was not a wet spot on the floor. I knew I had leaked onto the pad but wasn’t sure if that was all. TMI. Sharon asked, “We know Dort can do four flips but believe she can do more. Applaud and do not let up until she does five or more.”

I tried to wave it off but the fans got louder then. I went to the wall at the left and planed my tumbles and flips to start at the beginning of the platform. Earlier I would have run as hard as I could which made more all but impossible. I skipped a step before I began to run. The first two flips were the highest I ever did. The next two were good and for the last two, I transitioned to backflips and then eased down to a side to side leg split. After I stopped, I tumbled forward and stood up and hugged the other cheerleaders.

I was filled with sadness and pride that I was ending my career as a cheerleader. I knelt yoga style, buried my head and prayed the program moved on or ended. Soon the School Board President presented the Champion’s Trophy to the players who raised it up and show it off.

There was then a catered reception in the cafeteria including the area in front of it and people were also invited to spill over onto the school grounds.

The gym was emptying out but I stayed behind and visited. Coach House and Mrs. Trullo came and told me. “We hear you need to do something. We recommend you take the privacy of the girls’ locker room. When you’re finished, we’ll tell you how disposed of your sanitary napkin.”

I was walking with Audrene into the locker room and said, “You two were way too happy in telling me and mentioning it as a sanitary napkin, weren’t you?”

Audrene made a big joyous smile, “You’ll never know how happy it makes a woman to say that to you.” I haven’t had sex yet, but the relief was the best feeling I had yet had.

I was out of the locker room and had thanked Audrene for all of her help. And then asked how she was doing.

She apologized to me, “I hope I didn’t make things worse with you and your parents. But I thank you for asking about me. I think I’m doing well but I think I might be going sooner than later.”

“My doctor’s think from the development of the baby that I may be further along in my pregnancy. I was wondering if I end up going to the hospital early. Could you come and watch Maria until my sister or sister-in-law can get there. You know where everything is and Marie is certainly comfortable with you. It would be nice if it could be as Rose, but even Robert would work well.”

I am smiling as we get to the reception and there are still people greeting the players and going through the refreshment lines.

I am at a table visiting with people and Therese is there. She was anxious about something so I finally asked her. She said, “I wanted to wait to ask you, but I’ve waited twice and I heard someone might have already asked you. If you haven’t said yes or no. I want to ask you to consider going to the Prom with me. I’d be open whether it is as Rose or Robert. We have been friends for a long time, but I see you more than just a friend.” She leans over and gives me a kiss. She and I both liked it. Kissing someone else with lip-gloss on felt really nice to me.

“Yes, Brad Thomas asked me, and I’ll tell you as I had to tell him. I need permission from my father and he won’t give me an answer at least until Wednesday. I always liked you more too. But I never had the nerve to say it. I was sure I wasn’t special enough.”

There was background music playing and Therese asked me to please stand. She began to dance with me very slowly. We were off to one side and the song soon ended. Therese gave me a kiss and said, “Thank you. I just wanted you to have something to think about. I will leave you alone if you want.”

I saw Debra Triens and Lieut. Fields looking at me. I took Therese’s hand and walked over to them to introduce her. I was nicely surprised how informed Therese was about them, their ship and she even knew some things about their ordeal that I had not.

Debra Triens was impressed, but not about the same things. She later told me. “You know Therese is very mature and she cares a lot about you. I’m impressed by how many, girls especially, actually care about you and see you as a person. …Where I am from the people nice about people who are different are often two-faced, they say what they think they should to your face and something different when the person isn’t around.”

“People speak up for you when you’re not around. Therese saw Lieutenant Fields get a note before she spoke to you.”

I interrupted, “She didn’t speak to me today when was that?”

Debra said, “I shouldn’t have said anything, please don’t get Fields in trouble. But Therese and another girl saw it and talked to her directly. Someone higher up wants the ship’s relationship to be about the team and for you to be in the picture less.”

I said, “So what, that was the way it was always to be. That there are some people wanting to get tough on the community again is no surprise.”

Deb said, “No one’s going to come down on your community nor the school.”

“When I said my community, I meant my alphabet community. I’m no longer the boy who got punished to dress as a girl and just cooperated. They’re not as comfortable seeing me as a T-girl. I might not get officially invited to the visit to the ship, but they can’t take away from me what we achieved.” I’m speaking strong, but Deb knows I am starting to choke up with tears. I don’t want to cry.

She said, “Let me change the subject and ask about the inch you’ve grown since we put out to sea in December?”

I said, “Whoever told you that is pulling your leg.”

Debra said, “You lost a good inch and a half off your waist. I know you acknowledged that. I thought you’d have been proud that you’ve grown.” She now has me thinking. I am barely seventeen; it is possible I am still growing. She said, “It is mostly in your legs, you can’t tell me a girl can’t tell if she has longer, slimmer legs.”

Sierra was there, “She, he’s, been in denial the last three weeks, afraid that our Dad was going to put an end to all this for her. I don’t think she wants to go back to being Robert.”

“That’s not true!”

Sierra said, “I know a way to prove about you being taller. You and Sharon were the same height when you joined the cheer team.” She called Sharon over and instead of going back to back so others could judge. We went into the girls’ room.

I didn’t want to believe it but it appeared that I was at least a good inch taller than Sharon now. Sharon said, “We knew but didn’t want to say anything to disturb the girls’ team nor to hurt us as cheerleaders. This coming weekend there’s a cheerleaders contest with each group being rated. Mrs. Anderson has already given permission for Rose to still be Dort for us.”

Disturbed, I spoke up, “No she didn’t. She would have asked me.”

Sharon said, “I think she wanted to wait until tonight, not to take anything away from today. I thought you’d be happy.”

She changed the subject, “Easter comes early this year; I for once hoped to be the one to take you shopping for an Easter dress. I didn’t ask your mother yet, but my Mom’s willing to take us. She’d even pay for the dress. Anne told me you were looking at some while we were at the tournament.”

To be continued…