John finds the body of a neighbour who has been murdered. The police detective assigned to the case deduces that John hides a secret - but the detective has secrets of her own.

Part 15 of 25 — Intersex?

Ellen added, “Well, she appeared to be a boy at birth.”

That got his attention and Bill was suitably gobsmacked. “What! You mean that she’s had the surgery that John is planning to have? But she looked so natural; she looked like a girl. In fact, if you hadn’t said, I’d have taken her for a girl.”

“I don’t know for sure what she’s had done,” Ellen replied guardedly. “I did some research in the local library. I decided that, before I made any decisions about John or Jenny, I ought to be better informed.”

Bill could have taken that as criticism but didn’t appear to notice.

Ellen went on. “There are dozens of medical conditions that can cause a child to grow up different from what the Daily Trash likes to call “Normal”. It wasn’t uncommon for children with ambiguous genitalia to have a sex assigned to them, and to be surgically mutilated accordingly. Of course, there was a chance of getting it wrong, which caused the child a lot of heartache. I read of cases where the child’s sex was determined simply by what the parents wanted, or what the doctor thought. Now they know that gender isn’t all about what’s between the legs or even the chromosomes, but mutilation still goes on. It’s barbaric.”

Bill could have protested at her disparaging remarks about his tabloid daily. He liked the sports coverage and wouldn’t go near his wife’s broadsheet newspaper, but even he was too sensible to protest too much. He remained silent and just concentrated on what Ellen was saying. He could well understand how she’d been such a good schoolteacher, who commanded the respect and attention of her pupils.

“Now, there is a certain actress called Melissa Haydn, the star of Wednesday’s movie. She was born with what appeared to be a full set of male genitalia and XY chromosomes. You’d think, therefore, that she ought to have been a boy. Well, that’s what the parents were told they’d got and, lo and behold, a boy named Lee was registered. She always knew that she should have been a girl but Lee got on with life, very unhappily, until puberty hit.

“At puberty, a boy usually starts growing facial and body hair, his chest starts to develop, his shoulders usually become wider than his hips and, in most cases, his voice breaks. That didn’t happen with Lee. His penis didn’t grow and didn’t erect — in fact, it never erected; he had no emissions and his sperm count was nil. In addition, his body started to change shape in other, un-boyish ways. His hips broadened, his shoulders stayed slim, his features were fine, his skin was flawless with no trace of acne or facial hair, and his voice didn’t break. This, of course, made him a target at school and he was regularly assaulted.

Fortunately, his parents were on the ball and took him to a doctor. This doctor had more of an open mind and decided to carry out some tests. It was found that Lee’s hormones hadn’t worked properly for some reason. Lee’s body produced testosterone but didn’t process it; he therefore looked like a girl. After some treatment, you now see her as a successful actress. She had the male bits removed; she doesn’t have periods, can’t get pregnant and couldn’t nurse a child. She might feel cheated, but it’s obviously not stopped her pursuing the career that she loves, and her parents have supported her one hundred per cent.”

Bill didn’t know what to say and just sat staring at her. Finally he asked, “Do you think that’s what John had?”

“I’ve no idea, and I don’t propose to ask. All I know is that Jenny is finally at peace with herself and, after the medical people have done their bit, she will be as good as Melissa. I don’t know Melissa at all but I do know Jenny and I love her to bits.” She was about to sit down when the doorbell rang.

“That’ll be them now,” she said as she headed towards the front door.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

When my mother let us in, she mentioned that she had dropped the medical explanation into the conversation with my father.

Jane smiled and said, “If it works, don’t knock it.”

As we came into the living room, I greeted my father warily.

He looked shame-faced. “Hello love, can you ever forgive me, I had no idea? I didn’t even consider that there might be a medical explanation for all this. I only saw what I wanted to see, or rather, what I didn’t want to see.”

He then turned to Jane. “And it seems that I have you to thank for the fact that Jenny is still with us. If you hadn’t found her, there’s no telling how this would have ended up. I’ve realised that I’ve had a lot of one-sided conversations with John over the past years and never even considered his feelings. I understand that you’ve known Jenny for some months but I know nothing about you other than that you’ve been like a sister to her.”

Jane took command of the situation.

“Look,” she said, “Why don’t we all go out to lunch? There’s a pub at the end of the road; what’s the food like?”

“Err…It’s good,” my father shakily replied, for the first time hearing Jane’s accent - she had remained silent throughout the car journey and during my earlier tirade. He then asked tentatively. “But what do I tell them? They know about Peter but I’ve never mentioned any other children.”

“Were you that ashamed of me, Father?”

“Err…well…Um….”

I took some minor satisfaction from seeing his embarrassment but, after all, he was probably as much a victim of his own upbringing as anyone else could be. A poem by Philip Larkin sprang to mind:

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”

I just smiled at him and gave him a hug.

He tensed up for a moment and then relaxed.

“Come on,” I said, nodding towards Jane. “Some of us are hungry.”

We left for the short walk to the pub and followed my father into the bar.

Andy said, “Hello, it’s good to see you all. How are you feeling, Bill?”

My father regaled his friends with a couple of stories of his hospital time.

“And who are these lovely young ladies?” asked David, another member of the Job Squad. “ One looks a lot like Ellen so I assume that she’s your daughter.”

Les was also there and he temporarily left his beer to go and collect stools from around the busy bar.

My father had previously only mentioned his son Peter. The fact that I looked a lot like my mother obviously led everyone to deduce that I was their daughter — which was, of course, quite correct.

“Hello, David,” my father replied, with some amusement. “It’s good to be home; I know I was only in hospital a couple of days but the boredom was driving me nuts. That and the fact that they wake you up to see if you are asleep.” He introduced us. “This is our daughter Jenny and her friend Jane. They both live and work in the South of England and drove up on Thursday to be with Ellen while I was in hospital. It’s their first visit since we retired here so I’m showing them the best pub in town.”

So that’s what they feed to hospital patients; Bullshit. Now, would that be fried or boiled?

The men smiled and shook hands, then went back to planning the next project for the Job Squad and my father was dragged into the conversation — purely in a planning role, of course, as he wasn’t allowed to get really involved for a few weeks.

Us women hoisted ourselves onto the bar stools and ordered drinks; long fruit juices for us, and the usual pint for dad. While he was talking, we looked at the menu board behind the bar.

“The lamb casserole sounds good,” I enthused.

“I’ll have the same,” my mother agreed, “then you can give them your recipe.”

“Mo-ther!” I said, as I turned to Jane.

“What would you like?”

“I fancy lamb chops. Then I can compare them to yours.”

“Look, I’m walking out of here if you two carry on like that.”

“Well, I’d like the sausages and mash,” My father turned to us at the mention of food, and having overheard the comments about my cooking, asked, “So do I get the impression that our Jo…Jenny is a good cook?”

Jane and my mother grinned at each other; I just glared at them both.

My mother said, with a smile, “Well, I’ll tell you, Bill Smith; if you start practising your grovelling now, you’ll not go hungry at Jenny’s place; she’s a very good hostess and a superb cook.”

“When did you learn to cook?” he asked me.

“As I’ve lived on my own since I left home to go to college, I’d no intention of starving or living on ready-meals full of additives. Anyway, I enjoy cooking.”

Mother was laughing as she and I went to order and pay for the meals. There was the usual argument about who would pay. I won by using the “my father’s accident, my mother’s hospitality and Jane’s driving me” card. We returned to the other two, giggling all the way.

My father smiled when he heard my mother laugh; he hadn’t heard much of that in the past few years and decided that they needed more fun in their lives. “So, Jane,” he began, as we all sat down to await our meals, “What do you do for a living?”

I just remained silent and smiled, as I knew what was coming.

“I’m a police officer.”

She hadn’t said it quietly and there was a definite lull in the conversation around us as that little gem was popped into the ether. Jane was so proud of her job and thought that the regulars in the pub might find the presence of a police officer a little intimidating - she wasn’t disappointed. She smiled with wry amusement at the result of her announcement, particularly as she’d used her most aristocratic voice. My father visibly shook when she spoke.

“Good grief!” He spluttered, “How…Where.…”

“I met Jenny in the course of my work; we got on well and have been friends ever since.” She didn’t tell him all the gory details by any means; not only might it have revealed too much to the regulars of the pub but also she felt that my father wouldn’t be ready for details of our romantic liaison.

My father said, “I may not be very bright but even I can see that you’ve left out an enormous amount in those few words.”

“It’s not that important. What is important is that Jenny has her family to back her up. I lost touch with my family years ago due to a misunderstanding…”

I spluttered, my mouthful of fruit juice making a mess on the table.

“…and I wouldn’t be happy if the same thing happened to Jenny.”

Jane agreed that we could stay until after lunch the next day so that we could see Peter and Geena again. Our lunches arrived and, having enjoyed a good meal, Jane suggested a short walk.

My mother agreed that the car wasn’t really suitable for four adults — anyway it was outside the house - so we walked to the sea front.

My father had spotted the car as we left for the pub and was very impressed with it. He and Jane kept up a lively discussion during the after-lunch walk — about the car, no doubt - and I linked arms with my mother.

When we arrived at the sea front, Jane and I changed places and they dropped back a little. I overheard my mother say to Jane, “I’m so glad that things look as though they’ve worked themselves out; I think that my library research might have helped.”

“There might be more truth in the story than you suspect.” Jane said, “I must say that Jenny’s father seems much more accepting now and looks to be trying to make up for lost time.”

I let my father buy ice creams, just for a change. We sat companionably on a bench seat and just watched the birds wheeling and diving over the bay, and the people as they went about their relaxation. We headed back home in time for tea.

My mother and I soon had some sandwiches, cake and tea organised and my father found out a little more about Jane’s work. Funny that he never thought to ask how she could afford an expensive Lexus. It was something I still hadn’t the courage to bring up, so the question didn’t get asked - again

The evening was spent in pleasant conversation; my father didn’t once look at the television or even check to see what was on. Sport appeared to be furthest from his mind as he seemed to be absorbed in the life of his daughter and her friend. Jane and I both had to choose words rather carefully so as to avoid giving him even a hint of our relationship. My new-found friendship with him was only a few hours old and was still a little frail around the edges. It didn’t do to take it too far, too fast.

All too soon the day seemed to take its toll and my parents retired early to bed. We took the opportunity to snuggle. We had to decide whether to stay in the lounge or go up to the bedroom. Our bed was calling, not just to sleep but for another reason and we didn’t want to make too much noise - and Jane could make a lot of noise….

~ O ~

My mother had told us yesterday to have a lie-in on the Sunday morning but, as usual, I was wide-awake at about seven o’clock. I went to the bathroom and tidied myself up, then went to the kitchen. I’d heard my parents stirring so made some tea and took it back upstairs. I carried two cups into the guest room for Jane and I, then carried the tray to my parents’ room and knocked the door.

“Room service,” I announced and heard my mother giggle.

“Come in,” she called.

“I thought that Sir and Madam might like some early morning tea,” I said as I bobbed a little curtsey.

My parents laughed at that, thanked me for my thoughtfulness and I left them, closing the door behind me.

It felt as though my father was still a little uneasy with his daughter, but my mother later told me that she thought that he was making a valiant effort.

When I returned to our room, Jane was sitting up and sipping the drink. “Where have you been?”

“Taking my folks some tea,” I replied.

“You are so thoughtful,” she said, and then looked up as I relieved her of her cup.

“Hey! I’ve not finished drinking that!”

“I need a fondle.”

Jane obliged, and then she too had to dash to the bathroom.

When she returned to bed, I said, “You know, I still can’t get over the change in my father’s attitude in just a few hours.”

“Don’t knock it, my love, just be thankful.”

“Oh, I am,” I smiled. “But I definitely think that my mother’s little revelation helped.”

“I don’t think it did, I know it did. Although didn’t Judy say that your blood tests came back showing a problem with your hormones?”

“Yes, she did, but she also said that she wasn’t sure if it was enough to cause this much of a deviation from normal.”

“What is normal then?” she asked.

“How the hell should I know? I’ve been so screwed up over the years that I don’t think I’d know normal even if it reared up and bopped me on the nose.”

She laughed, and then kissed the object in question. “That would be such a shame; it’s such a pretty nose, just like its owner.”

That earned her some very close attention, which she didn’t mind at all.

When everyone had eventually surfaced, and were gathered around the breakfast table, my mother asked me about the friends that I’d made at work.

“Celia, Jill, Maddy and Janet really have looked after me. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends. The other people at work seem to be more relaxed around me too. It seems that they could almost sense a tension in me; although I knew it was there, I didn’t think it showed too much. And my manager is pleased because I’m more productive and more accurate in my work and that has to be good for our annual bonuses.”

“Have you managed to make any friends outside of work yet?” my father asked.

I just stopped myself in time. However, I thought for a moment and, not wanting to tell any lies, said, “My first priority has been to settle into this new life and get all the loose ends tied up. You know; clinics, paperwork and stuff. But I really love it; I’ve never before been so relaxed. Jane visits when she can and we seem to have so many interests in common: the theatre, concerts, music, movies, shopping and just sitting and talking. We’ve still a lot to learn about each other and I’ve come to the conclusion that Jane has had a lonely life as well. But she often works unsociable hours.”

Jane, standing at that moment behind my father, grinned and mouthed at me “We see quite a lot of each other — especially when naked!”

“Have you a boyfriend, Jane?” he asked, turning to her.

Trust him to ask that!

“No, Mr Right hasn’t come along: who knows, maybe he isn’t even out there,” she responded, guardedly.

I suspected that my father wouldn’t want to even think about the possibility that I might be looking for a boyfriend.

Before he could say another word, I just said, “And in case you’re wondering, Father, I’m not looking for a relationship.” Then I added, mentally, Because I’m already in one

He looked relieved.

It was now after half past ten and my mother chivvied us along. “Come on, you lot. We’re expecting visitors any minute; let’s get the breakfast things out of the way.”

“You two go and sit down,” I ordered, “We’ll clear up here.”

“Thank you, love,” she replied as she pushed my father into the living room and shut the door.

“I thought you were going to drop us in it there for a moment,” Jane said, when we were engaged in the washing-up.

“Yes, I just caught myself in time: I almost said, “Jane keeps me fairly well occupied”.”

She laughed. “That’s more or less what I thought you were going to say. It’s a bit early for such revelations, though, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but I’m getting tired of this sneaking about, I wish we could be more open with them.”

“What about your cousin? You know; the one near Salisbury. Didn’t you mention that she had quite a diverse family?”

“Yes I did,” I said, enthusiastically, a light turning on in my mind.

~ O ~

My mother had made coffee and tea for everyone and we sat comfortably in the lounge. I jumped up when the doorbell rang and said, “I’ll get it.” I opened the front door and Geena just grinned as Peter and I hugged and kissed. Then I turned to Geena and similar greetings were exchanged.

“Hi, sis,” Peter said, “How’s the old man?”

I smiled, and admitted, “Actually, he’s not doing too badly at the moment. Mummy told him about an actress who’d had a medical condition that caused her to have to grow up as a boy. Father seems to have swallowed it hook, line and sinker but it’s certainly helped to break the ice.”

Peter said, “Hmm, sometimes the ice wasn’t the only thing that was thick.”

I giggled; Peter always did have a wry sense of humour. “Anyway,” I said, “we had quite a pleasant day yesterday after I read him his fortune at lunchtime: we even went to the pub for lunch — progress indeed. But, please, not a word about Jane and I; I don’t think he’s quite ready for that yet.”

“Okay, we’ll have to be a bit cautious but it shouldn’t be too difficult.” He led the way into the living room.

I went through to the kitchen to make hot drinks for my brother and sister-in-law. As I did so, I marvelled at the way that they had both been so accepting and I thanked God for all the blessings that I had. Then I got to wondering about a God; our family had never been church-goers, and certainly not religious, but I felt that there ought to be some supernatural being somewhere to bring order out of all this chaos. I pushed the thought into the ‘look-at-later’ folder in the back of my mind and took the drinks into the lounge.

My parents both stood to greet Peter and Geena; then the visitors made a point of greeting Jane with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for all you’ve done for this family over the past few days,” Peter said to her. “It was really kind of you to drive Jenny here and to run about for us.”

“No problem, that’s what friends are for,” she replied as they hugged.

Peter whispered something to her. I could only begin to guess at what it was but I don’t think I’d ever seen Jane lost for words before.

My mother interjected. “I’ve booked a table for six at the pub for one o’clock. The food is very good and their Sunday roast is a must.”

“That sounds great,” said Peter and Jane, almost in unison.

I laughed and explained, much to Jane’s embarrassment. “Jane is a foodaholic; I don’t know where she puts it all; perhaps she has a high metabolism.”

“Very true!” responded the object of my jest. “When at home, I eat at Jenny’s diner; it’s the best in the South.”

“Oh, been around, have we?” I couldn’t resist teasing her.

I received a “You just wait until I get you home” look from Jane; I flashed back “I’m looking forward to it.”

Geena just rolled her eyes and made some sarcastic comment about having to ask for more housekeeping money next week in order to feed three hungry children and a pet rabbit. Peter gave her a look; he’d correctly deduced that he was listed as one of the hungry children. As Geena said later; men are, after all, simply overgrown boys.

~ O ~

The local pub was quite busy, testifying to the quality of the food on offer. With my father being a regular, and now having brought five other people to lunch, he again attracted the attention of the Job Squad team. Les was there with his wife and he rose when my father entered with his family.

“Hello Bill, Ellen. I see you’ve found another couple of hungry strays; is this all of them or are there any more of your tribe lurking in dark corners of the land?”

“Hello Les,” my father laughingly replied. “This is definitely the lot, unless I’ve some unknown offspring I’ve fathered while I was asleep.” He laughed at his own joke but didn’t notice the look that my mother gave him. “Meet my son Peter and his wife Geena — oh and, if I don’t, she’ll tell you that it’s spelt with two ‘E’s rather than an ‘I’.

“Oh, right,” Les replied, then promptly turned back to the interrupted conversation with his wife.

“Dad!” said Geena, embarrassed.

“Well, you did point it out to me when Peter first brought you home.”

“Yes but…Oh, never mind.”

“Right,” said Peter, “who’s having what?”

We all scanned the Specials board behind the bar. Six roast beef dinners seemed to be the order of the day.

Peter headed to the till before anyone else could get a look in. “Thank you very much,” we all chorused on his return.

“That’s okay; just don’t make a habit of falling off a ladder, Dad,” he joked.

“Not likely, Son, I’ll be more careful in future.”

“I should hope so too.”

While we waited for our food, Peter and his father began a rather heavy and technical discussion about the latest cricket results. We four women headed for the ladies’ room where we spent a few minutes admiring each other’s outfits and checking our makeup.

Then Geena spotted something.

“Mum, what have you done? You look much more, I don’t know, um…”

“Younger?” I suggested.

“Yes, I guess that about sums it up: more stylish, a fresher complexion, different makeup, that sort of thing. And I just love that dress on you.”

My mother positively glowed, put her arm around my waist and said, “Well, I recently spent a few days down South with my daughter and we went shopping in Winchester.”

“Ah! That explains it; it really suits you. Has Dad noticed?”

“Don’t be silly; I think the only thing that would get him fired up is if the local under-elevens football team won the FA Cup!”

We all laughed. I said that Jane always seemed to notice whenever I wore something new. The others merely said that they would be surprised if she didn’t, given her special interest.

“Yes, there’s no doubt about that,” I said, dodging out of the way of a slap.

Geena said that, on the whole, Peter was quite good but the really sharp-eyed one in her family was Rosalind, her daughter. “She may be only four - sorry four and three-quarters” - she put her hands on her hips and pouted, in a fair parody of a little girl reminding her mother of something that should be obvious - “but has eyes like a hawk. I can’t get away with anything.”

We re-joined the men-folk, our table was called and our food arrived. Its reputation was wholly justified and we all very much enjoyed the lunch. Other than Peter and Jane, we couldn’t manage a dessert but all had coffees. Jane said, “I’m sorry to break up this little gathering but we really ought to be thinking about making a move. We’ve the best part of three hundred miles to cover and we both have work tomorrow.”

We left the pub for the five-minute walk back to the house. Jane and I had already packed our bags and put them in the Lexus. There were a few moist eyes after we had all kissed and hugged goodbye.

As we all made our way out of the door, my father said, “Look, I’m so sorry I’ve been a bit blinkered on this. I guess I had my head buried in the sand and didn’t want to see what was in front of my nose. I must say, you are very pretty and I’m enormously proud of you. I really wish you well in all that you have to do, and I am only sorry that you weren’t born with all the right bits and avoided all the aggro. I suspect that I know only a fraction of what you went through as a child, but I really hope that things get better from now on.”

I was tempted to say, “Your head wasn’t in the sand, it was up your arse,” but I thought it would be unhelpful and kept my thoughts to myself. Instead, I hugged him and felt that a massive weight had been taken from my shoulders. “Daddy, you can’t know just how much your support means to me: I love you and Mummy very much and am so happy that I can now be your friend as well as your daughter. It seems that your falling off a ladder might have done us some good after all.”

He smiled and kissed me again, then actually hugged Jane and asked, “Look after my girl, won’t you?”

To which Jane replied in an exaggerated English Public School voice, “Rather!”

We both thought that his comment was a little over the top and were fairly sure that he’d definitely not grasped the full extent of our relationship. Still, I thought, maybe another day?

Jane and I turned to the Lexus and Peter and Geena went over to their Audi with Geena calling, as they went, “Don’t forget, Jenny; therapy at Leamington. Give us a ring”. We all waved as we went our separate ways.

We were both quite tired by the time we made it home, and had an early night, content with kisses and cuddles and no more.

Llandudno, North Wales

Ellen was sad to see the family all leave to go home but was very happy with the way that the weekend had turned out. She smiled a lot at Bill and made him really glad that he had asked her to be his wife all those years ago. He cuddled her and said, “It was really good to have the family all together, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, love, it was.”

“And I’m very fortunate to have such a beautiful wife.”

She almost choked. “Bill Smith; that was a rare compliment. But, thank you, anyway.”

“I’ve come to realise over the past few days that life has been incredibly good to me. I’ve more blessings than I really deserve and you, my love, are the greatest blessing of all.”

She smiled at him and offered her lips for a kiss, which he willingly supplied.

“I’m still amazed about Jenny. She really has turned into a beautiful girl; I’m just so embarrassed that it took me so long to see the truth.”

Ellen thought, Well, the truth as you’re going to know it, buster.

“She called me ‘Daddy’,” Bill said, still not quite believing it.

“You should feel privileged, Bill.”

“I do. I’m amazed after the way I treated John and Jenny.”

“That’s one special daughter we have there.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

End of part 15