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Image Credits: Title Picture purchased and licensed for publishing from

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Author's Note: This second edition of Camp Shoni replaces the 16 previously posted chapters at both Crystal's Story Site and a few other archive sites and is revised and with 5 new chapters. ~Pamela.

Historical Versions: Originally posted at Crystal's Storysite in 2004, and Fictionmania in 2011. ~Sephrena.

Legalities: Archiving and reposting of this story *unchanged* is permitted provided that: 1) You must have contacted the author, Pamela, and have asked permission first and received said permission to host this particular work. 2) No fee be charged, either directly or indirectly (this includes so-called "adult checks") or any form of barter or monetary transfers in order to access viewing this work *and* (3) PROVIDED that this disclaimer, all author notes, legalities and attribution to the original author are contained unchanged within the work. 4) The author of this work, Pamela, must be provided free account access at all times the work is hosted in order to modify or remove this work at her sole discretion.

The characters, situations, and places within this work are fictional. Any resemblance between actual people (living or dead), places, or situations is entirely coincidental.

This work is the copyrighted material of the respective author. ~Pamela.

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Chapter 10
 
Lauren stepped down off the bus into a world of girls wearing blue and pink camp tee shirts hurrying about in all directions. Many of the girls were with moms and dads and brothers and sisters who helped them with their trunks or circled around excitedly visiting the lake, stables, ball fields, dining room and other attractions. Lauren saw girl campers as young as 6 and 7 and some older girls who had to be junior counselors as well as many young teenage girls like herself. With some relief Lauren realized that not all the girls - including some of the older ones - were as "grown up" as Joan. There was no reason why Lauren would not fit right in with them. In any case, Lauren was happy she had decided to have her padded bra ready to put on at Poughkeepsie since it gave her just a tiny bit more selfconfidence than if she had on a regular bra.

Surveying the scene in front of her Lauren noticed that some of the girls were wearing skirts instead of shorts and the thought struck her that for the first time ever she was free to be whatever girl she wanted to be. She could wear a skirt if she wanted to or she could wear shorts. The decision would be hers entirely - whatever came out of her mind just as it would for any real girl. Lauren smiled inwardly and told herself that as soon as she was settled into her cabin she was going to put on a skirt, and maybe she would be wearing skirts the whole summer as well, of course unless she was playing softball or something like that.

"It's so great to be back," Joan said.

"It looks beautiful," Lauren said.

A tall woman came up to the two of them and said, "Welcome back Joan, it's great to see you again!"

"Hi, Ms. Rovelstad," Joan said, "I'm so happy to be back."

"And who is the new girl?" Ms. Rovelstad said indicating Lauren.

"This is Lauren. She's in my cabin."

"Hi Lauren, I'm Ms. Rovelstad, the head counselor."

"Hi," Lauren said shyly.

"Welcome to the camp! By any chance are you Lauren Baxter?"

"Yes," Lauren said, suddenly scared to hear Lorin's full name.

"I have a phone message for you somewhere." She shuffled through pages attached to a clip board she was carrying, found one and pulled it out and handed it to Lauren. "I think it's from your mom. Something about a haircut I think. She had it directed to Camp Dan but luckily it ended up here."

"I'm sorry," Lauren said.

"It happens all the time. It's the Navajo names, drives everyone a bit cuckoo remembering which camp is which. Every winter they talk about changing the names but they never do anything about it. Anyway, the odd thing this time is that Camp Dan thought they had a camper with exactly your name, but spelled differently. A boy whose been going there for years that everyone knows, but it turns out by coincidence that he isn't going this year. Luckily they asked if we had a Lauren Baxter!"

"Gosh," Lauren said hardly believing what she was hearing. Any second she expected Ms. Rovelstad to ask her if she was really the same Lorin Baxter who had been going to camp Dan.

But instead she said, "you can get your hair trimmed next week if you want, though it doesn't seem too long to me. Anyway, your cabin is just there," pointing across a large grass field with a flagpole in the middle.

"We're bunnies," Lauren said spontaneously, happy that the danger had seemed to pass.

Ms. Rovelstad chuckled, "I can see that already from your pink tee shirts! You're both going to make great bunnies!"

Lauren blushed slightly and looked down at the ground. "I'll get Scotty to help you with you're trunks," Ms. Rovelstad said, "and I hope you girls have a great time this summer!"

"We will," the two girls said simultaneously.

As Ms. Rovelstad went to help another camper Lauren opened the note and read: REMEMBER YOUR HAIRCUT AND HAVE A GREAT TIME! WE'RE OFF TO JAPAN! LOVE, MOM AND DAD. Lauren smiled with relief. There wasn't any sudden change of plans or anything that she would have to worry about. Somewhat worrisome was the fact that if camp Dan also forwarded letters to Camp Shoni, they may be addressed to Lorin Baxter and not Lauren Baxter. If Owen saw one of those letters it might cause some problems, especially if he knew that there was a Lauren Baxter at Camp Shoni who looked remarkably like Lorin Baxter! It was a good thing that Owen would not be going to the dances or the cotillion this year.
 

 
Scotty was a middle aged, slightly balding man who was in charge of maintenance and any other "masculine" chores at the camp. He was jovial and put Lauren at ease from the moment he came over with a cart to help them with their trunks. It was clear that Scotty regarded Lauren as a young girl no different than Joan and it gave Lauren a giddy feeling inside to have that knowledge. It was like a kind of power she now had - the power to be feminine in what ever way she wanted to be.

With Scotty's help, Lauren and Joan got their luggage to the cabin. Eileen, Susan and Judy were already there and came out to help them lift the trunks up the few steps into the room. Lauren stood in the doorway and surveyed the large open floor plan trying to decide where would be the best bunk for herself. The beds were along the walls of a large space that formed an ell shape with a couple of doors near the middle of the ell - one for a storage closet that the cotillion dresses went in and one that led to the bathroom/shower facility. Lauren hoped that one bunk might be a bit more private than the rest so she could change more easily in front of the others. Before she could say anything, Joan said, "Let's take these two!" The beds she was pointing to were at the end of the ell with a window between them.

"Perfect," Lauren said noticing that she would be able to get dressed facing into a corner of the room with no one able to see her chest or even worse the protrusion between her legs.

After Lauren slid her trunk to a spot at the foot of the bed, she went back to introduce herself to the other girls.

"It's so great to see you in the flesh," Eileen said. She was a petite girl with dark straight hair in a simple cut. "I swear we're going to have the best cabin in the entire camp this year!"

"No contest," Susan said, "bunnies rule!" Lauren could not take her eyes off of her. She had a woman's chest and a beautiful face with full red lips and long eyelashes.

"We're going to have a blast," Judy said.

Just then Ann, Janet and Thalia came in with their counselor Marilyn, followed by Scotty with their luggage. The girls excitedly exchanged greetings and helped the newcomers choose bunks and settle in. Marilyn greeted everyone personally and gave a little welcoming speech telling the girls what to expect. Camp Shoni definitely seemed more organized than Camp Dan, Lauren thought, more of a communal spirit and Marilyn seemed to care a lot more than Lauren remembered her past counselors ever caring. This was going to be very nice Lauren thought.

"Now those girls who haven't emptied their trunks into their cubbies had better do so," Marilyn said. "Your trunks are going to be put in storage for the summer to give us more room. See how nicely Eileen and Susan have put away their things? You can put your bras in one cubby, your panties in another, and so on. There should be plenty of room. Put your gowns and any other clothes that have to be on a hanger in the closet. When you're all done we'll have a little cabin meeting to get to know one another."

Lauren went to her bunk and Joan went back to hers. Joan said, "in the back of the cubbies I put all the weird clothes my mom made me take that I never wear!"

Lauren laughed nervously thinking that probably most of her clothes the other girls would consider "weird." After all, they were the end result of what was really a scavenger hunt among whatever opportunities she could find to get clothes. One day, when she was older, she would just go to a store and buy a whole pretty wardrobe that made her look exactly how she wanted to look. Of course the one thing in her wardrobe that was perfect was her gown, but it would be almost ten weeks to the cotillion when she could dress up in it.

Lauren unlocked her trunk and looked in. Lorin's white socks were clearly boy's socks so she quickly put them to the back of a cubby. She emptied out her toothpaste and toothbrush and other toiletries and set the trunk shelf aside. Inside was utter chaos and Lauren made a quick move to try and shield it from Joan's view but it was too late.

"Oh my God, Lauren," she said laughing incredulously, "you have set the record in terrible packing. My God, my mom would go ballistic." Her excitement drew the attention of the other girls and they came by to have a look.

Embarrassed, Lauren said, "I was going to miss the bus. My mom had overslept. We had to throw everything in as fast as we could!"

Laughing, Thalia reached in and slowly pulled out a bra that was tied up with the sleeve of a blouse and two pairs of panties. Lauren, said, "c'mon girls."

"This looks like one of my mom's panties," Thalia said and the other girls laughed.

"Some of your clothes have historical value," Eileen said as she held up one of the old sneakers Lauren had found. It was from a brand that was no longer even in the stores.

It looked to Lauren that her game was up. It did matter that you had the kinds of clothes that all the other girls had, if you wanted people to believe you were a girl. The other girls laughed at Eileen's comment and Lauren fought back the urge to cry. The girls seemed oblivious to Lauren's emotion until Lauren fell over and buried her face in her pillow and sobbed.

The girls suddenly grew quiet and Susan put her hand on Lauren's shoulder and said, "omygod Lauren, we didn't mean to upset you. We were just playing!"

Thalia said, "I feel terrible!"

Marilyn came over to see what was going on. "What's a matter Lauren?" she said and looked at the other girls.

"We didn't mean to tease her about her clothes. We didn't mean it in a bad way!"

"You all go back to your packing and let me talk to Lauren. I'm sure this is just a little misunderstanding."

The girls dispersed back to their beds and Marilyn sat down next to Lauren surveying the mess in her trunk.

"What have we got here?" Marilyn asked in a conspiratorial tone. "Need help unpacking?" Lauren sat up and dried her eyes on her sleeve.

Lauren didn't say anything and Marilyn said, "you've got some wonderful clothes here. I like a girl who's got her own style, who doesn't go along with everyone else. It shows a lot of maturity."

"Thanks," Lauren said and held up one of her swim suits that had the sewn in skirt and said, "it's a hand-me-down from my neighbor."

"Are you..." Marilyn said and stopped and then smiled.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"You don't have to answer, I'll understand," and then whispering Marilyn said, "are you on scholarship?"

At first Lauren didn't know what she meant and then she figured it out. With sudden inspiration Lauren said, "yeah, I guess so."

"That certainly explains everything. I think it's so brave of you to come knowing how vulnerable it makes you."

"Thank you," Lauren said and while Marilyn gave her a hug she continued, "I'm sure I'll be OK now."

"You let me know if anyone teases you about your clothes!" Marilyn said.

"I know they didn't mean any harm!" Lauren said.

Joan couldn't help but overhear much of the conversation and said, "if you want to borrow any of my clothes feel free!"

"Thanks Joan," Lauren said a little embarrassed, "I will."

She and Joan resumed unpacking and Lauren found herself smiling. It was perfect, the perfect alibi for why her clothes were so strange, why none of her skirts, pants and tops were from cool stores down at the local mall. It was amazing how life offered up the answers to questions even if one had no clue how to answer them oneself.

Equally remarkable was just how nice the girls had taken the news that she was on scholarship. Lauren could recall quite the opposite experience a couple of years earlier at Camp Dan. In his cabin there had been a boy who everyone knew was on scholarship. Lauren remembered him being teased and tormented constantly by some of the bigger guys in the cabin. Lorin had tried to befriend him but to no avail since they didn't have anything in common. Out of fear Lorin had been afraid to tell the other guys to stop harassing the boy since he was pretty sure that his own relative weakness made him an easy target if he provoked them.

Lauren continued unpacking and in short order had her bras, panties, stockings, tops, shorts and skirts neatly arranged in the cubbies over her bed. Her cotillion dress and crinoline were the last things she removed from the trunk. Through the clear plastic garment bag she could see that the dress had acquired a few creases, but it didn't really seem so bad. Anyway, after many weeks hanging in the closet they would probably vanish. As Lauren carried the dress across the room to the closet, the other girls complimented her on how pretty it was. Lauren hung it up in the closet joining several other pretty dresses that were already there. Lauren took a quick look at the others and decided that none of them were as pretty as her own.
 

 
When everyone was done unpacking and the trunks were placed outside to be taken away, Marilyn called the bunnies to congregate around her own bunk which was situated at the middle point of the ell shaped cabin. Lauren sat next to Eileen and Thalia on Janet's bed.

"I know you girls have been meeting online, but let's go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves. Tell us where you go to school and how about what you're most looking forward to this summer at Camp Shoni. We'll go clockwise around the circle starting with me."

"I'm Marilyn and I'm now a junior at Penn State University. I major in theatre and I'm in charge of putting on the camp production this summer. We're going to be putting on 'Oliver' and I hope that all of you try out for parts."

Marilyn looked at Eileen sitting next to her and after she mentioned her school said, "my favorite thing in camp is horseback riding. I ride back home a little and love it."

As they went around the circle Lauren found out that Janet and Ann like canoeing most of all, while Thalia liked arts and crafts, Susan liked swimming and Judy liked tennis. Joan said she like just about everything from "arts and crafts to boys" which caused the other girls to laugh. When it was her turn, Lauren said she was most excited about the cotillion but as far as everyday activities were concerned she probably would like the arts and crafts most of all.

When everyone had spoken Marilyn described how the daily schedule would work and how the girls could spend their free time doing more of those activities that they most liked doing - as against sitting around in the cabin. At one point she said, "From the looks of you ladies I'd guess that most of you are having periods. I don't have to remind you to not flush your kotex down the toilet. Use the garbage bags in the bathroom! Do any of you tend to get really bad periods?"

Joan and Eileen raised their hands. Marilyn continued, "Then don't be shy about taking it easy those days. Just say the word and I won't nag you about getting up and going to your activities!"

"One final thing and then I think we should all head out to swim until dinner time. Is there anyone here who would volunteer to be the camp gonger? The gonger is traditionally a girl from either the Bunnies or Wolves of your age."

"What does the gonger do?" Susan asked. This was her first time at camp.

"I'm sorry. The new girls won't know who the gonger is. She's a camper who awakes every morning before everyone else and strikes the big gong in the middle of the field at precisely 6:30 AM to wake everyone else up. Older girls are too liable to sleep in to be reliable gongers and the younger girls are too young. That's why we want one of you to volunteer."

The girls laughed and made fun of the idea of getting up early, with the exception of Lauren who asked, "How much earlier does the gonger have to get up?"

"As early as you need to so as to get out to the gong by 6:30. The gonger is given a special alarm clock that shakes her awake. If she wants she can wash up, shower, whatever before she goes out there."

Lauren looked around at the other girls. Even though they might find her bizarre for volunteering, she had immediately seen how it could save her the biggest dilemma she faced: showering with the other girls. "I'd love to do it," Lauren blurted out.

"Really?" Marilyn said.

"I love getting up early and I'm sure it would be fun to hit the gong."

"That's great Lauren. I'll let Ms. Rovelstad know! Usually we have to cajole one of the girls to volunteer."

"No, no, for me it'll be fun."

"OK then, that was a lot easier than I thought!"

Marilyn thought for a moment and said, "any questions about anything else before we swim?"

Susan said, "When is the first dance?"

"I was wondering why no one was asking! The first dance is next Saturday in our rec hall."

"So cool!" Ann said.

"But aren't all the boys going to be older?" Eileen asked. "I heard that the boys our age aren't allowed anymore!"

"You're right," Marilyn said, "except that the counselors got together last week and decided to give the boys your age at Camp Dan a chance to prove themselves. They will be allowed to go to the Saturday dances to demonstrate that they are mature enough to go to the cotillion. If all goes well they'll be invited back each week and then they'll be able to participate in the Cotillion."

Lauren turned pale and had to steady herself from fainting. You mean this was all for nothing? She could have stayed as Lorin and gone to the cotillion? Everything set in motion from that one unfortunate footnote in the camp brochure so many months ago was for naught? Lauren felt woozy. I've become a girl for no reason, but on the other hand, I don't ever not want to be a girl. Now that I'm a girl I can't give it up. Lauren was mixed up inside and wanted to run and hide somewhere but there was no chance. She heard Marilyn say, "if that's all the questions, let's all change to our swim suits and go down to the lake."

Lauren slowly walked back to her bunk while the other girls rushed back to theirs. Next to her, Joan pulled her blouse over her head revealing her white bra, and then with her back to Lauren she pulled down her shorts and panties and unhooked her bra. Gazing out across the room, Lauren saw the other girls were also in various stages of undress. Some were fully naked, some were stepping out of panties or slipping off their bras. The view was shocking and Lauren was unprepared for it. A bit of heaven it seemed like, a diorama of femininity that she wished she could be part of. Her lack of true breasts and presence of her male "equipment" kept her an outsider. The sweet white untanned skin around the bottoms and tops of the girls looked so delicate and graceful to her. The swelling hips and narrow waists. Joan was stepping into her suit and Lauren watched transfixed as she gracefully placed one leg in her bikini bottom and then the other and pulled it up and then turned to face Lauren while she put on the bra top of the suit. "You're not swimming?" she asked Lauren.

"Got to pee!" Lauren said and took her light green bathing suit with green flowers out of its cubby and made a bee line for the bathroom. Once inside she went to the stall area and felt relieved to see that they all had doors. Thank goodness. She entered one, closed the door behind her, pulled down her shorts and panties and sat down on the seat and peed. When she was done she grabbed some paper and dabbed at her self. She did that because Beth thought that it would make her seem more like the other girls. She flushed and then as quickly as possible switched her clothes. The bathing suit fit her well and she went out of her way to tuck her small member back out of the way. When the suit was on she bent over to see how well the little skirt covered herself and as far as she could tell it was as she envisioned, there was no obvious sign of her boyhood.

Lauren apprehensively left the bathroom to join the other girls. Almost everyone was congregated at the door and Lauren rapidly joined them after she grabbed a towel and put on her flip flops. She wasn't the only one wearing a one piece suit though only hers had the little skirt. She was half expecting to be made fun about her swimsuit but the other girls ignored it: maybe Marilyn had used Lauren's time in the bathroom to admonish the girls about teasing her. Whatever the cause, Lauren was happy that she could just enjoy her time as a girl without having to worry incessantly about how she fit in.

Before they left Marilyn had them put on their pink bunny tee shirts over their swim suits so they indeed looked like a little flock of pink bunnies when they left the cabin and walked across the field. Walking down the path toward the lake, Lauren fell in step with Joan and Thalia and the three of them chatted about their common preference for arts and crafts. Thalia related how she had recently made a dress with her mother's help and that she had ideas for a skirt and blouse that she intended to work on at camp.

"I would love to work on something like that," Lauren said.

"You can work on the same thing along side me and I'll help you."

"Me too," Joan said.

"Great, we'll make 3 skirts and blouses," Thalia said.

"I also like bead work," Joan said.

"Sure, we can make necklaces too," Thalia said.

"We're going to have so much fun," Lauren said.

Thalia who was walking between Lauren and Joan put her arms on the shoulders of each of them and then Lauren and Joan put their arms around Thalia's waist. The three girls walked that way, laughing and giggling, all the way down to the lake.

When the bunnies got to the water they lay down their towels on the stony embankment and took off their tee shirts and sandals. A couple of them walked to the waters edge and stuck their toes in, only to shriek and run back to the others.

"The water is still cold!" Judy said.

"It won't get warm for a few more weeks," Janet said.

Lauren delicately walked down to the water with her arms out and put her toe in the water and then jumped backwards and shrieked. "It's so cold!"

"Let's play throw Lauren in the water!" Eileen said. The other girls thought it was a great idea and Lauren found herself laughing and playing along with the others as they closed in on her. Before long all the girls had fallen into the cold water and they splashed and ran around together having a wonderful time.
 

 
While the girls were swimming Ms. Rovelstad came over to watch and Marilyn joined her.

"They're a great bunch of girls," Marilyn said.

"The bunnies are usually the easy ones. It's the wolves that sometimes become difficult," Ms. Rovelstad said.

"I know what you mean," Marilyn said.

They watched a few minutes and Ms. Rovelstad said, "that Lauren Baxter has the cutest old fashioned suit. It's been a few years since I saw one like that."

"You're right. I had to give the girls a little pep talk about being kind to her. Scholarship kids can easily get their feelings hurt."

"Scholarship kid?" Ms. Rovelstad said. "I'm pretty certain she's not on scholarship."

"Really?" Marilyn said. "That's odd."

"Why did you think she's on scholarship?"

"Oh, no reason. She seemed so waif-like. Her clothes look found and when I said something about it, she admitted she was."

"Keep your eye on her," Ms. Rovelstad said.

"She seems happy enough," Marilyn said. Some of the girls including Lauren were playing leap frog in the water.

"It's probably nothing but you never know."

"I forgot to say she volunteered to be the gonger."

"Really? That's great. Some years it's so hard to get one. Good. Tell her to see me in the cafeteria during dinner and I'll give her her instructions." Ms. Rovelstad walked away slowly, deep in thought.
 

 
In a short while, one by one, the girls left the water and spread out their blankets on a grassy area near the lake. Lauren found herself lying between Thalia and Joan in a line of 8 girls lying side by side. She propped herself up on her elbows and surveyed her cabin mates. She definitely belonged here. There was no doubt about it. She was one of them. She was one of the girls. When she got back to the cabin she was going to wear a skirt and her best padded bra and maybe even Penny's blouse. It was the first time she had thought of Penny since she had arrived at the camp. Penny was Lorin's friend and a stranger to Lauren. Would Penny object to Lauren wearing Penny's blouse? Sure, she would. It couldn't be OK for Lauren to wear Penny's blouse. She would have to put it away for now and maybe forever. This last thought made her shiver in fear, but then she understood that it was Lorin who was afraid. He didn't want to give Penny up. Maybe at the end of the summer he would reassert himself and reclaim Penny. Lauren, Lorin, Lauren, Lorin. Lauren was very mixed up. She looked at Joan and Thalia's pretty forms and then at the little skirt of her own bathing suit and felt happy again. This was going to be a wonderful summer.

Lauren lay down on her stomach and relaxed. Her thoughts drifted to thinking about the first dance. She couldn't wait to find out what it was like. She smiled at the memory of her practice dancing with Beth. Then, like a jolt of electricity she realized that the decision to let the younger boys attend the dances meant that Owen and some of the other boys that she knew from years past were likely to be at the dance. Would they recognize her? Particularly if they found out what her whole name was. No, she was not out of the woods yet. There was still so much to worry about.

"What are you thinking about so hard," Joan said. She was sitting up now looking down at Lauren.

"Just the dance next Saturday," Lauren said. "I wonder how the boys are."

"I feel the same way. I hope they're nice to us. Boys can be so immature sometimes. But I'm hoping it's going to be great."

"Yeah, so am I," Lauren said.
 
Chapter 11
 
Lauren and the bunnies in her cabin ate dinner together at an assigned table in the dining hall with Marilyn sitting at the head. It was a camp rule that everyone wear their camp tee shirt to dinner so the dining hall was broken up into pink and blue tables depending on whether the girls in a particular cabin were bunnies or wolves. Just next to Lauren's table were the girls from a wolf's cabin at the same age as Lauren's group. At first sight they didn't seem to be that much different from the girls in Lauren's cabin, but the more Lauren glanced at them during the meal the more she decided that they were somehow tougher than the bunnies. One girl in particular seemed to be very aggressive in the way she talked and joked with her cabin mates and Lauren decided that she was someone to avoid. In years past at Camp Dan, there had always been at least one tough guy each summer that Lorin had had to avoid lest he bear the brunt of some cruel stunt. Usually the bully picked on someone even more socially inept than Lorin.

During dessert Lauren happened to glance up at the tough girl at the wolves table just as she was staring directly at Lauren and their eyes met for a brief second until Lauren looked away. What Lauren had seen in that flash of contact was not nice. The girl had trouble written all over her. Lauren would definitely give her as wide a berth as possible.

After dessert, when the girls were about ready to head back to the cabin, Marilyn reminded Lauren that Ms. Rovelstad wanted to see her about being the camp gonger. While the other girls left for the cabin, Lauren went up to the front of the room where Ms. Rovelstad sat at a special table with the camp nurse, Scotty and some other camp employees. Ms. Rovelstad noticed her and said, "Hi Lauren, I guess you're here about being the camp gonger?"

"Yes, ma'am," Lauren said politely.

"I can't thank you enough for volunteering! It's such an important job with so much responsibility. Are you sure you're up to the task?"

"Oh sure, Ms. Rovelstad. I love getting up early. I've always been an early riser. Actually I think it's kind of romantic early in the morning with the sun just brightening up the sky a little bit."

"You sound like a poet," Ms. Rovelstad said and Lauren blushed. Ms. Rovelstad went on to explain what her duties as gonger would be and gave her a special alarm clock that would shake her awake every morning as well as a fancy felt covered wooden mallet with which to strike the gong. "Remember, 7 loud gongs about 10 seconds apart every morning starting at 6:30 sharp and ending at 6:31. Got that?"

"Absolutely," Lauren said excitedly. She had decided this was going to definitely be a fun job.

"Tomorrow I'm going to meet you at the gong. If you do it successfully the way I described then you can consider yourself the official camp gonger."

"Great. Ms. Rovelstad. I won't let you down!"

On the way back to her cabin Lauren had to pass the wolf cabin where the scary girl from the next dining room table stayed. From a distance Lauren saw that some of the wolves were sitting on the front steps and she debated whether she ought to find a different way to her cabin - just in case. At the last second she resolved to not be paranoid - after all this was Camp Shoni and not Camp Dan.

When Lauren came abreast of the wolf cabin, she increased her pace a bit and looked at the ground, aware that the girls on the steps were looking at her. Lauren stole a quick glance their way and sure enough the mean girl was among them. She called out to Lauren, "what's the rush?" Lauren hesitated and the group of wolf girls got up and surrounded her blocking the path.

"What's your hurry?" the girl said.

"I've got to get to my cabin," Lauren said, resisting the urge to tell the girl it was none of her business.

"Duh, but why are you hurrying?"

"She's scared of you Marcie," one of the other girls said.

"I've never met a bunny who wasn't scared of me," Marcie said. "It's what makes them bunnies." The other girls laughed.

Lauren looked at Marcie and the other girls. There was a toughness about them that reminded her of some of the boys of Camp Dan. Still, they were girls and she was certain they could never be capable of the same cruel teasing that she had witnessed at Camp Dan.

"I'm not scared of you," Lauren said and as soon as she said it she realized that it was Lorin speaking. Lorin would never admit to being afraid of a girl.

Marcie grabbed Lauren's upper arm on her bicep. "Are you scared now?"

The firmness of Marcie's grip surprised Lauren. Marcie was powerful, there was no doubt about that, and suddenly Lauren knew that she would be helpless in a fight against her. "I don't want to fight," Lauren said.

"You're smart," Marcie said.

"You're hurting my arm," Lauren said.

Marcie let go of her. "Your arms are like sticks. How can you stand being so weak?"

Lauren looked down at the ground. "I exercise. I just don't get strong. I'm not a boy."

"That's such bullshit," Marcie said. "I can beat up a lot of guys."

Lauren shivered. "Can I go now?"

"What's this?" Marcie said indicating the gong hammer.

"It's for the gong," Lauren said.

"You're the gonger?" Marcie said incredulously.

"Yes. Ms. Rovelstad appointed me."

"You'll be all alone early in the morning."

"I know."

"A perfect meal for a hungry mountain lion."

"Who didn't find a meal during the night," said one of the other girls.

"Very funny," Lauren said. "There aren't any mountain lions around here, are there?"

"They've moved back into the region last year," Marcie said.

Lauren looked at her for a sign that she was joking but she seemed serious. "Can I go now?"

"Watch your step. What is your name?"

"Lauren."

"Just remember Lauren that the wolves have their eyes on you."

"I will," Lauren said and continued on her way thankful that Marcie and the others seemed only like they wanted to scare her, but not hurt her. Her arm still hurt slightly from Marcie's grip and she had the sudden insight that she was as vulnerable as any girl might be to physical domination posed by stronger boys or even other girls. In other words, Lauren could not just magically transform herself into a Lorin who would protect her from hurt. The boy Lorin was no stronger or able to defend himself than the girl Lauren.
 

 
When Lauren arrived at the bunny cabin she walked directly to her bunk. The other girls were occupied with straightening their areas, putting clothes away and otherwise relaxing after the excitement of the first day of camp. Joan was on the other side of the cabin talking to Thalia. Lauren lay down on her bunk, put her arms behind her head and surveyed the scene around her. She noticed Eileen had changed out of her clothes and into a thin pale green night gown. Ann nonchalantly pulled up her blouse exposing her bra and Lauren watched as she reached behind her back and unhooked it. The bra fell away from her revealing two small breasts with bright red nipples. Ann then unbuttoned the front button of her shorts and as they slipped down her legs she stepped out of them. Wearing just panties, Lauren saw her reach into one of her cubbies and take out a red nightgown. Before she put it on, Judy came over and engaged her in conversation.

This was a perfect time for Lauren to change into her nightie and she quickly got up, took off her shoes and socks and then, after double checking that no one was looking her way, took off her top and put her nightgown over her head. She would leave her bra on underneath the nightie until everyone had gone to sleep, so that no one would see how flat-chested she really was. If anyone asked her why she slept in a bra, she would say that she liked to wear it until she went to bed, just a habit she had gotten into, hoping that this would be considered enough of an explanation.

Joan came back to her bunk and sat down. She took off her shoes and socks and Lauren noticed that the same blue sparkly polish she had on her finger nails she had on her toe nails. Joan must have seen where she was looking since she said, "this is a perfect time to polish your nails."

"That would be so fantastic," Lauren said.

"I have some red polish, but I don't have any pink polish," Joan said.

"Red is OK," Lauren said. "It's my second favorite."

"Good. First we'll do your toe nails and then your fingers," Joan said.

"Would you?" Lauren said excitedly.

"Sure," Joan said, "it's so much fun putting on polish. We can pretend we're at the nail salon." Joan moved over to Lauren's bed and Lauren extended her feet towards her. Working carefully Joan quickly applied the polish to Lauren's toe nails. When she was done, the two girls waited for them to dry and then Joan applied the polish to Lauren's finger nails.

"I can't tell you how excited I am," Lauren gushed. "For so long I've wanted pretty nails, but my mom always said I had to be older."

"You have such long graceful fingers. I'm jealous," Joan said.

Ann, Susan and Judy came over to admire Lauren's nails. Judy was topless and Lauren watched her prominent breasts sway as she stood near by. The girls compared their own polished nails to Lauren's and Joan's and discussed the different colors they preferred.

It had been a long day for everyone and it wasn't long before they one by one retired to their bunks. Lauren surreptitiously watched the girls get ready for bed, making careful notes of things she could do so as to appear no different than anyone else. One thing she would have to remember to do more of was brush her hair since she noticed that every girl spent some significant time doing that before going to sleep.

In short order Marilyn announced "lights out" and the girls got under the covers in their beds and switched off their lamps and iPods. The last thing Marilyn did before turning out lights was to come by Lauren's bed and make sure she had set her alarm clock for 6:00. Lauren had not forgotten. In fact, she had selected panties, a skirt, a bra and top to wear in the morning. When the alarm shook her awake she would grab her clothes, head into the shower room, wash up and then quickly get dressed. Then she would grab her mallet and head out to the gong.

Before Lauren fell into a profoundly deep sleep, she went through the events of this unbelievable day: the packing that morning when she almost slammed the trunk lid on her dad's hand, the bus drive, the haircut at Samantha's that produced Lauren, the kind help of Gus, her encounter with Joan, the trip to the camp, meeting the rest of the girls and settling into her cabin, the swimming, dining, her meeting with the wolves and finally the pleasant time with Joan putting on her polish. Thoughts of all these things swirled around in Lauren's mind. The one feeling she came back to over and over again was the sense of arriving at her true self that came with being a girl. It was a deep seated feeling that reached into her core - the need to be feminine, to express her femininity, to face the world as a girl. Penny's pretty face came to her mind and she felt a slight stab of regret. Yes, Lorin wanted to have Penny as his girl friend, but that was Lorin and she was Lauren. She couldn't see how she would ever want to be masculine, to be an aggressor in the relationship, to be a boy. If only Penny could love her as Lauren then maybe they would have a chance to further develop their budding friendship. These were weighty issues that deserved more thought in the weeks to come. In the meantime, she had the important job of waking up by herself and ringing the camp gong. She had better get to sleep so that she would be refreshed and awake at the first jolt of the alarm clock in the morning.
 

 
The next morning Lauren awoke to the insistent shaking of the alarm clock that she had put in the bed next to herself. The sun had not yet risen and Lauren grabbed the clothes she had laid out for herself and silently tip toed into the shower room. She showered, got dressed and precisely set out for the gong at 6:15 holding the mallet in one hand and her clock in the other.

Halfway across the field toward the gong Lauren was startled by the sight of a light brown, furry animal dashing away from her. At first Lauren was scared thinking it might be a mountain lion, but then she calmed herself with the realization that a mountain lion wouldn't run away from her. The animal was more likely a groundhog or something like that, or at least Lauren forced herself to believe that.

With some relief Lauren saw Ms. Rovelstad walking toward the center of the field and the two of them arrived at the gong at the same time.

"Hi, Ms. Rovelstad," Lauren called out.

"Good morning, Lauren," Ms. Rovelstad said as she came up to her.

"I didn't forget!" Lauren said.

"I see that. You seem like the dependable type to me and I'm sure I've made the right choice for gonger."

"Did you see that animal running away?"

"No, what was it?"

"I don't know. I'm hoping it's not a mountain lion!"

"Mountain lion?" Ms. Rovelstad said laughing. "You've got to be kidding!"

"Some of the girls said there might be some here."

"Nonsense, Lauren."

Feeling silly, Lauren looked at the clock. "It's almost time!"

"Go ahead and gong away," Ms. Rovelstad said.

Lauren firmly grasped the mallet and swung it as hard as she could into the large, heavy gong, and it let out a loud ringing sound. She repeated the motion 6 more times.

"Very good," Ms. Rovelstad said, "tomorrow you're on your own!"

"You can depend on me," Lauren said.

"I will, but just in case I do set my alarm..."
 

 
Lauren walked back to her cabin and found the girls climbing out of bed to wash up or otherwise getting dressed.

"Great gonging," Marilyn said.

"So annoying," Ann said, "I never like getting up early."

Lauren discretely studied the different ways that the girls readied themselves for the day. She saw Ann lazily comb her hair while sitting up in bed while Thalia jumped out of bed and rushed to the washroom holding a towel. Joan took her nightie off over her head and fumbled around in her cubby for a bra. Lauren watched her put one on, stand up and then search for her hair brush. She had obviously slept without wearing panties. At the other end of the cabin Lauren saw Janet get up just in her panties and hurriedly run to the bathroom clutching what looked to be a box of tampons. There was a small blood stain on the front of her panties. Her period must have just started.

Judy was standing next to her bunk holding a white bra in one hand and a blue one in the other as if trying to decide which one to put on. Her nipples were unusually long and a far cry from Lauren's tiny boy nipples. Lauren wondered if one day she herself would have the nerve to walk across the cabin to the bathroom in just her bra and panties. Well, the panties would not be feasible since she doubted if she could fully hide her oversized "clitoris," but at least she could walk around in her padded bra and shorts. She hoped that that would not raise any suspicions.

Gazing at the girls, Lauren felt a wave of intense envy come over him. She ached to have breasts like theirs, or at least a vagina, or to have a nice rounded derriere. To all the girls in the cabin, being feminine was easy and natural and taken for granted, but for Lauren it was something that could at any second be betrayed. God forbid she should have an erection, but more likely to occur would be a mental breakdown: falling into depression at the hopelessness of her situation, and then maybe a confession to Marilyn or one of the girls. Lauren was an outsider in some ways, no matter how much she had a girl's temperament or demeanor.

Lauren's thoughts returned again to Penny. Maybe being her boy friend was ultimately less frustrating than pretending to be a girl. But now even that possibility was endangered. Surely before the summer was over Lorin's jig would be up. There would be a slip up, a situation where she could not conceal her true sex. She would be sent home in shame or maybe in handcuffs, and the great irony would be that she missed attending the cotillion.

"Let's go to breakfast," Thalia said to her, startling Lauren out of her depressing reverie and reminding her that for the moment she was truly one of the girls. They waited a second for Joan and the three friends filed out of the cabin with the other girls to walk to the dining hall.
 

 
Thalia and Joan asked Lauren about the gonging and she told them about how serene and peaceful the camp was at that hour since she was the only person up and about. There had been some animal, perhaps a ground hog but definitely not a mountain lion that had scampered away across the field as Lauren had approached.

During breakfast Marilyn announced that the activity schedule for each day would be posted on the bulletin board outside the cabin door. The girls needed to consult it to determine where they should be at any given time. Regardless of how individual routines might vary, the entire group had to assemble after lunch every day to go swimming in the lake. Every other day after swimming they would stay at the lake to go boating. Of course, Saturday night after dinner there would be a dance with the boys from Camp Dan. Every other week a bus would take the girls to Camp Dan. The first week the dance would be held at Camp Shoni. Sundays were free days where the girls could do whatever activity they wanted whenever they wanted to.

For the most part Lauren's activities were what she had put down on the application and centered on crafts, sewing and a few sports like archery and badminton. Thalia and Joan and other girls from the bunnies had a similar schedule. Lauren was particularly happy that she had been assigned to participate in the camp play. She wasn't exactly sure whether she would try out for an acting part or maybe just work behind the scenes making costumes or sets. She would see how it went as the summer progressed.

Of all the events of the week, it seemed that the dances were the biggest topic of conversation. There was much speculation as to what the boys would be like, how well did they dance, what kind of crushes might they get on the girls or vice versa. Was it OK to have a summer boy friend if you had one back home. The girls related stories about their past experiences with guys. So much of it was about hoping that a particular boy they knew back home would notice them and how they felt if he didn't. A lot of it was about feeling inadequate and klutzy or awkward. Lauren remembered Lorin's first times with Penny and how awkward Lorin had been. It was hard to imagine that Penny was feeling the same way also.
 

 
Everyday that went by Lauren felt more comfortable behaving as the kind of quiet girl she felt herself to be inside. She found herself slowing down and becoming more deliberate. Letting the world come to her rather than running about trying to capture the world. She increasingly thought of her body as being that of a girl, a young one who hadn't yet sprouted real breasts. Her nipples often felt slightly tingly and if she squeezed them gently with her fingers they felt especially good.

She thought a lot about the upcoming dance and what she would feel like. She hoped that many of the boys would ask her to dance and that at least one would develop a crush on her. What would she do in that case? She wasn't sure what Lauren wanted. Lorin definitely wanted girls but Lauren was less clear. If by some chance Penny could like her as a girl then Lauren would be pleased to be her girl friend to whatever level it led to. On the other hand, if she was to develop a friendship with just the right sort of boy, maybe she would like that also. It would have to be a boy who was gentle and treated her gently. Of course there was the problem of Lauren's penis: the boys who wanted to pursue Lauren would not appreciate finding out that she was a boy. Did this concern warrant her avoiding the boys? Should she not encourage their friendship? Of course, the more likely possibility was that the guys would find her to be a "skank" and not want to dance with her.

There was also the cotillion at the end of the summer to think about. By then she would know if any of the boys wanted to dance with her or not. If they didn't she might just spend the whole evening sitting in her pretty gown watching the couples dancing and feeling like an ugly duckling. That would not be the nicest way to end the summer and she hoped that at least one nice boy would take an interest in her. With these thoughts increasingly entering her head, Lauren became more and more anxious about the impending first dance of the summer.
 

 
Later that week a letter was forwarded to Ms. Rovelstad from Camp Dan on the off chance that she could deliver it to its rightful owner. The letter was addressed to "Lorin Baxter" at Camp "Dah-nes-tsa" with a note scrawled on the envelope: "Amy, you've got a Baxter enrolled. Maybe this is for you?"

That evening Ms. Rovelstad called for Marilyn to join her in her cabin.

"We have a little mystery here that I'm hoping you can help clear it up."

"What's that Amy?"

"Today a letter came to Camp Dan for Lorin Baxter. It's addressed from a girl named Penny."

"I wonder why Lauren's mail is going to Camp Dan and how did they know to forward it here?"

"They know we have a Lauren Baxter here. But that's beside the point. It's not Lauren Baxter, it's Lorin Baxter with Lorin spelled like LO -R-I-N. They have no Lorin Baxter there this summer, though they did for the last five summers."

"That's a remarkable coincidence."

"It's even odder since on the first day of camp there was a phone message for a Lauren Baxter received at Camp Dan that was forwarded to me that I gave to Lauren. The secretary also thought it must be for our Lauren Baxter."

"It's bizarre."

"Since it was a phone message we don't know if it was for L-O-R-I-N or not. Until this letter came I didn't think anything of it. Now, I don't know what to think."

"Maybe this Penny person got the camp names mixed up. You know lots of people find them confusing."

"That may be true but it doesn't explain the L-O-R-I-N does it?"

"You're right. So what are you thinking? That Lauren is Lorin!!! That's outrageous!"

"I know it sounds ridiculous."

"I don't think ridiculous is the right word. Lauren is one of the two or three most feminine girls in the cabin. She's a little angel. To think she's a guy is incredible!"

"I agree with you Marilyn and that's why I'm calling this a mystery. It could be that our Lauren has nothing to do with this Lorin boy. Maybe this girl Penny wasn't told that Lorin wasn't going back to camp this year and maybe our Lauren's mom and dad got the camp names mixed up."

"What should we do?"

"I don't think we should confront Lauren asking her if she is really a girl or not unless we have certain proof," Amy said.

"I agree. She's already so fragile. I often have the feeling that just about anything could make her cry. She's such a tender dear as it is."

"I was mainly thinking 'law suit' if she was indeed a girl. Her parents might not think too kindly about us accusing their daughter of being a boy. On the other hand, if Lauren is a boy, then the parents of all the other girls in his cabin might sue us!"

"Only if they find out!"

"Anyway, all we have right now is circumstantial evidence - it could all just be a lot of nothing."

"I sure hope so."

"I guess if more mail comes for L-O-R-I-N from other people beside Penny it could mean something strange is going on."

"That's true. I'll definitely keep a closer watch on her, though I must say it's not easy to catch her undressed. She is shyer than the other girls - at least I can't remember seeing her walk around in her altogether like the other girls. On the other hand, sometimes you do get shy girls who don't like anybody looking at them."

"Maybe she volunteered to be gonger so she can get dressed alone?"

"She showers every morning by herself - another bit of evidence I guess."

"You could go into the bathroom when she's showering one morning. Pretend you woke up early?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll try that."

"Anyway, I just wanted to get your thoughts on all of this. Of course, maybe the best thing would be to never find out the answer to the mystery! Ignorance is bliss."

Marilyn left the office but then returned immediately. "I have trick we could do."

"What's that?"

"Ask her if she knows Penny."

"Good idea. If she knows Penny then she'll have to explain why the letter went to the wrong camp and why it was made out to L-O-R-I-N. Here, take the letter with you. Let me know what you find out."

"I'll do that," Marilyn said.
 

 
On Friday morning, Lauren was taking a shower when she was startled by Marilyn's voice, "can I join you?"

Lauren happened to have her back facing the shower doorway and couldn't see her. Just a moment before she had lathered up with soap and her entire front was covered with suds. She turned her head and caught a glimpse of the naked form of Marilyn standing in the doorway.

"I got up early today," Marilyn said staring at Lauren's thin form. Lauren's behind seemed kind of small but her legs seemed effeminate enough.

"Sure, OK!" Lauren said with surprise. As if in a trance, her feelings ricocheted from a sense of total desperation that she had been found out, to fearless resolve that she would be able to find a way to protect her secret. In a fraction of an instant she formulated a plan: she just had to wrap herself up in her towel that was hanging on a hook on the opposite side of the shower from Marilyn. The only trouble was that she was soapy and she would have to rinse off without Marilyn seeing her front. She backed into the stream of water rinsing herself, turned her head to see where Marilyn was looking. By chance Marilyn was putting her own towel on a hook and Lauren lunged through the water splashing the soap off her front while reaching over and grabbing her own towel off the hook and pressing it against her front. Marilyn swiveled around as fast as she could to get a glimpse of Lauren but the remnants of some soap and the towel made the view indecisive.

"You're still soapy," Marilyn said.

"I'll be late to gong," Lauren replied, and ran around Marilyn avoiding the running water. Once out of the stall she rushed to the bench where she had put her clothes. She dried herself as fast as possible and raced to put on her panties and skirt. Just as she got her bra on she heard Marilyn turn off the water. Lauren turned to face Marilyn trying to look and act as relaxed as possible.

Marilyn stood in front of her, large breasts swaying slightly, a full bush of pubic hair and water collecting in a puddle at her feet. Being naked was purposeful: Marilyn watched Lauren's crotch to see if an erection appeared. She hadn't met a man who could stifle an erection in her naked presence. However, nothing seemed to be evident in Lauren's case and she went about drying herself off.

Lauren quickly put on her top and sat down to tie her shoelaces. "I love hitting the gong. It's so much fun."

Marilyn smiled at her. She thought she might have seen a little red something poking up through the suds where Lauren's penis would be, that is, if she had one, but she could just have easily imagined it. She also seemed to have observed that Lauren was flatter than she should have been if she was a girl. Were there breast buds or not? Once again the soap and towel covered just a bit too much to be decisive. The fact of the matter was that Lauren either was the slipperiest little devil she had ever met, or she was truly excited about gonging. Unfortunately, Marilyn would have nothing to report to Amy on that front, though later in the day she planned to surprise Lauren with the letter from Penny and see what happened.
 

 
Walking across the field to strike the gong, Lauren attempted to recover from the harrowing experience with Marilyn. Was it an innocent move by Marilyn, or was there forethought? There was a real possibility that Marilyn was suspicious of her identity and Lauren would have to redouble her efforts at keeping her secret. One of her greatest vulnerabilities lay in the inevitable mail that would come to Camp Dan. Already she had accepted the phone message sent to Camp Dan. If letters started coming how would she explain them away? It was particularly incriminating since they would see that they were for "Lorin" and not "Lauren." On the other hand, she wasn't sure that the people at Camp Dan would even think to forward Lorin Baxter mail to Camp Shoni. Hopefully they wouldn't, and if they did, she would have to insist that she didn't know who Lorin Baxter was, no matter how implausible it sounded. Hopefully the first letter would be from someone like Penny so even if they opened it and read it, there wouldn't be some piece of information that would tie the letter to Lauren Baxter. After that they might start putting the Lorin letters in the trash, or sending them back. She could only hope.

As Lauren was striking the gong she had a brilliant idea. She would write letters to herself at camp, putting the return address for people back home. She could use different handwritings to make the letters look different. It was bound to reduce the suspicion surrounding the letters to Lorin at Camp Dan.

While walking back to the cabin she realized that this was too risky: Marilyn would be able to see to whom Lauren was sending letters when she collected the mail each morning. No, a better approach was to write to Beth and beg her to do the job. She could send a whole bunch of mail to her at Camp Shoni. A variety of different letters, in different hand writings from different people. Surely Beth would do it for her. With that mail coming it would prove that the Lorin Baxter mail was intended for someone else.
 

 
That afternoon Marilyn slipped the letter for Lorin Baxter at the back of the pile of mail that she was to distribute to the girls during mail call. She would ambush Lauren by calling out her name and handing her the letter. If Lauren knew who Penny was it would be revealed instantly before Lauren had a chance to protect herself.

Marilyn gathered the girls around and called out the names of those receiving letters. The first few were for Eileen who seemed to correspond to a large number of people, then there were letters for Ann, Thalia and Judy. The next letter Marilyn read out nonchalantly, "Lauren Baxter," and then saw that it was from a girl named Beth and indeed it was for L-A-U-R-E-N not L-O-R-I-N. It was a legitimate letter and suddenly she decided not to give Lauren the "Lorin" letter. She would have to tell Amy about the real letter before she did anything that she might regret. If Lauren were a boy, then he might have arranged for a friend to send a letter to Camp Shoni, but then that was getting into the realm of far-fetched. How much cunning was it fair to assign to Lauren before one was acting paranoid?

For her part Lauren was overjoyed to see that she had received a letter from Beth. It could not have come at a more opportune time since it offered her a measure of protection from any suspicion created by Lorin Baxter mail arriving at Camp Dan.

Lauren opened the letter and read:
 
 

Dear Lauren: If you are reading this than I am so happy for you. It means that you arrived safely at Camp Shoni after your long struggle. You must let me know what the other girls are like. Have you made any friends yet? What activities have you been assigned? I can't wait to hear you tell me about your first dance. For my part I continue to work at the store. There are so many pretty summer dresses that have come in, and many are on sale. I know how much you would love them. I might put one aside for you, just for fun. All the best and love, Beth

 
 
Lauren fought back tears and then laughed thinking about how well Beth knew her: getting a new dress was just about the most fun that Lauren could imagine. She took out her stationary and wrote a long letter to Beth answering her questions and then asking her to send various letters to her from made-up people. Considering the near miss in the shower that morning, the more letters that came for her the better. Once again Lauren began to relax. She had some breathing room and she would take every advantage of it to have fun at camp as the girl that she knew herself to be.
 
Chapter 12
 
Lauren had a hard time deciding what she ought to wear to the first dance of the summer. While she knew exactly what she was going to wear to the cotillion, and in fact, checked up on her pretty dress where it hung in the closet nearly every day, there were a multitude of options for dressing for the weekly dances. Finally she decided on her prettiest sun dress, since Joan and Thalia had commented on how much they liked it. Most of the girls in the cabin were wearing skirts and dresses, though a couple decided to wear shorts, mainly because they weren't very happy with the dresses they had brought to camp.

Underneath the dress Lauren wore the padded bra that made her look the fullest - it was one that she had specially saved for the dances - as well as a particularly pretty panty. With the help of Joan she went to great lengths with her makeup to make sure that her eyebrows were thin and graceful and her eyes highlighted with the right amount and color of mascara. She apologized profusely to Joan that she was of no use in helping her: her mom had been such an obstacle to learning how to apply makeup that she knew practically nothing.

Particularly exciting for Lauren was the chance to put on perfume. She had brought with her a special fragrance that she thought was very sexy. She imagined that when wearing it she would be at the center of an irresistible scent that would drive the boys crazy and make them seek her out. Because of her past life as a boy, she thought that only she among the girls truly knew how great an effect perfume could have on them.

Promptly at 7:30 Marilyn gathered the 8 bunnies together, looked them over and declared them to be the prettiest and most lovely girls that had ever been in Camp Shoni. She led them across the field to an old barn that had been converted into a place where the campers could have dances and meet on rainy days for any number of other activities. The floor was of shiny maple and ideal for dancing. Lauren's heart beat a mile a minute as she walked with the others. All those years at Camp Dan she had never been to a dance and now finally she would find out what it felt like to be at one. Since it would also be the first time she interacted with boys as Lauren, the evening had the possibility of being filled with either disappointment or exhilaration. Would the boys find her attractive or would they avoid her? She prayed that with so many boys to choose from, there would be a real possibility that romance could come at any moment.

Inside the barn there was a sound system set up and a DJ. Only for the cotillion would there be live music. On one side of the room there were tables containing sodas and snacks and scattered around the edges of the dance floor were tables and chairs for the campers to sit at. Lauren sat nervously with Joan and Thalia waiting for the boys to arrive. It wasn't long until a few buses pulled up outside the barn and boys began streaming in. Lauren scanned the boys checking to see if Owen was among them. She was worried that Owen could figure out who she really was, particularly if he was to find out what her name was. Avoiding Owen, if he did show up, was something that she would make every effort to do.

The boys were wearing casual clothes and they varied over a considerable range of heights and ages. Some were acting too noisy and their counselors, who had accompanied them, whispered warnings to them that they would be banished from the dance if they didn't act like little gentlemen. The music began playing and Lauren regarded the empty dance floor wondering what would happen next. By the third song, a few girls got up to dance with each other and Lauren saw that one of them was Marcie. She was fearless and quite a good dancer. Since their encounter the first day of camp, Lauren had gone out of her way to be deferential to the stronger girl whenever she passed her during the day or at dinner. For her part, Marcie didn't seem to care much about Lauren one way or the other, though she did once smile with amusement at her, as if Lauren were her cute little sister. Lauren was happy to find out that Marcie was less of the evil bully she thought she was. Perhaps she just liked teasing the bunnies for the pure fun of it.

By the fourth dance, a few of the bunnies got up to dance and Lauren could see that Joan was itching to dance also, so almost spontaneously the friends got up together and began dancing. Joan danced comfortably while Thalia seemed a bit awkward. Lauren, at first very shy, found herself becoming at ease, mainly by copying the steps she saw the other girls doing. Finding the beat had never been a problem for her as Lorin and it was no problem now. Lauren looked at Thalia and Joan and the girls laughed with happiness at the good time they were having.

When the dance ended, one of the counselors from Camp Dan picked up a microphone and exhorted the boys to participate. A few walked over towards the girls as the next song started. They were some of the older boys and Lauren watched with interest as they checked out the girls and finally asked some of them to dance. Once these boys broke the ice, a flood of other boys inched their way over towards the girls. Lauren, Thalia and Joan returned to their seats and engaged in a stilted conversation while they wondered if any boys were going to ask them to dance. Out of the corner of her eye Lauren saw a boy their age come over and stand in front of Joan.

"Dance?" he said.

He was maybe 14 years old, wearing a white shirt and black pants and looking terribly uncomfortable. "Sure," Joan said and got up. It was a fast dance and the two of them set off together mingling with the other dancers. Lauren wondered if this meant that Joan was the most attractive of the three of them. She did have the nicest figure by far and she was pretty so there was little reason to not believe that she would be most sought after. While the guy who had asked Joan to dance was not especially handsome, he was kind of cute as Thalia remarked after Joan had left.

Thalia said, "Wait a few more dances and then all the boys would have gotten to this side. None of them want to be the last one sitting on their side of the gym."

"Just like none of us want to be the last one asked to dance," Lauren said.

"You're so pretty Lauren, you'll have too many boys bothering you before long."

Thalia must have been prescient, since at the start of the next dance, a slow one, a rather tall boy with a few red spots on his face from acne, came up to Lauren.

"Wanna dance?" he said nervously.

"Sure, I'd love to," Lauren said.

Acting as if Lauren were radioactive he indicated to her where to go in the midst of the paired-off dancers. Lauren followed him and the boy awkwardly took Lauren's right hand in his left hand and put his right hand behind Lauren's back. Lauren felt him pull her in towards him a bit and Lauren put her hand across the boy's back. The boy began leading Lauren to the music and she concentrated as hard as she could on responding to whatever dance signals the boy might give her.

Lauren didn't know whether she should say something or not, and then decided that it was up to the boy to start the conversation. The boy was a couple of inches taller than her and she felt his cheek resting against her hair. He was not a particularly skilled dancer, but he did seem to keep with the music. As the dance progressed Lauren felt the boy draw her in a bit closer to him to the point where she felt her breasts were touching the front of his shirt.

"I'm Paul," the boy said without warning.

A bit startled Lauren said, "I'm Lauren."

"Cool," Paul said.

Lauren could tell he was extremely nervous and decided that she ought to put him at ease. That was quite a turnabout for her, since as Lorin she would have been just like Paul in the same circumstances.

"Do you like Camp Dan?" Lauren asked.

"Oh, yeah, it's great, well it's not great it's OK. I mean it's sometimes great, sometimes OK."

Lauren suppressed the desire to laugh. Regardless of how difficult Lauren found this experience, Paul was having a far harder time. There was silence for a minute and Paul said, "do you like camp?"

"Yes, I love it. It's so much fun and the girls are great."

"Wish I could say the same about the guys. Some guys are nice but some guys aren't."

"I guess that covers it," Lauren said, but Paul did not seem to pick up on the joke.

The dance ended and Lauren smiled at Paul. There was an awkward moment and since Paul didn't say anything Lauren sidled back toward where she had been sitting. No boy had asked Thalia to dance and she was seated where Lauren had left her. "You didn't dance?" Lauren asked with concern.

"Lucky me," Thalia said, "I'd much rather do a fast dance."

Joan came back and said, "I saw you dancing Lauren. How was that guy?"

"His name is Paul. I guess he was all right," Lauren said unenthusiastically. "Not exactly easy to talk to."

"That's so often the case," Thalia said. "Most guys I've danced with in a slow dance are about as fascinating as a block of wood." Lauren and Joan laughed. "It's a big reason why I prefer fast dancing, then I don't have to worry about talking at all and it's more fun."

"The guy I danced with is cute, but you're right. It's tough to get a lot of them talking," Joan said.

Another fast dance started and this time guys in quick succession came over to ask Thalia, Joan and Lauren to dance. A short, kind of homely boy with silver braces on his teeth asked Lauren to dance. He flailed his arms hopelessly missing the beat and Lauren used the time to gaze out over the room to see if there were any boys that she should hope would ask her to dance. It was odd that she would be thinking such thoughts, since it was only a little more than a week ago that she had been with Penny in the guise of Lorin. Some of the boys were cute and several Lauren remembered from years past at Camp Dan. None of them seemed to know who she was. One boy on the far side of the room standing by himself looked familiar to Lauren and then she realized that it was Owen. He must have had quite a growth spurt over the winter since his face was longer and he looked to be maybe a foot taller, if that were possible. Clearly, even though Lauren and he were close in ages, Lauren had not entered puberty to any degree close to that of Owen.

Lauren looked away and hoped that Owen would not notice her, or if he did, would not ask her to dance. She did have to admit that Owen was a pretty handsome guy and from what she could see, he had begun the process of taking on a manly build. As soon as the dance was over, Lauren smiled wanly at the guy with whom she had been dancing and hurried off. Almost immediately another song started and Lauren found herself looking at an older boy who, without missing a beat, said, "dance with me." It wasn't so much as a question as an order and Lauren reflexively agreed to the command.

The guy was a skilled dancer and made constant eye contact with Lauren. She found herself looking away coyly and then back at him and finding him still looking at her. "I like the way you dance," the boy said which made Lauren blush. The boy came over closer and right in front of Lauren did some shimmying which made Lauren laugh slightly. The boy laughed also. Over the din of the music he said, "I'm Roy, what's your name?"

"Lauren," Lauren said. The guy twirled around so Lauren was facing his back, then he came around again and worked his way around behind Lauren and then moved himself closer and closer so that he was approaching her from behind. Lauren had seen pictures of girls with their booties shaking over a guy's crotch and figured that was what Roy was up to. It was definitely a suggestive motion and Lauren wondered about the appropriateness of it. Marilyn had told the girls that the camp did not tolerate any overtly sexual dancing styles. The kids would be given one warning and then they'd be banished from the dance.

Lauren swiveled around herself so she was facing Roy. "We have to be careful," Lauren said and then realized that she had given tacit approval to the act, if only under different circumstances. Roy smiled again at her. The dance ended and before Lauren could decide whether she should stay or not, a slow dance started and Roy took Lauren in his arms. He was much stronger and controlling than the first boy she had danced with. Roy led Lauren forcefully and with confidence and Lauren found that it was easiest to let herself go and naturally adapt to his movements. Roy held her pressed up against himself. His arm went securely across her back pushing her into him. Halfway into the dance, he let go of her hand and encircled her back with both of his arms. "You're nice," he murmured, "and I'm crazy about that perfume."

Lauren didn't know what to do. She had little strength with which to resist him or to redirect him into a less intimate position. "Man, that perfume is something else," he said again. She felt him pushing his hips in towards hers and then she had the distinct impression that she felt a sort of hard bump pushing into the lower part of her belly. Could it be his penis she wondered. What else could it be. She felt trapped but also glad, in a strange way, that Roy found her so desirable. It was a new thought, that boys might aggressively want to make sexual advances toward her. She felt so unprepared to deal with it. She would have to talk with Joan and Thalia as soon as the dance was over. It was a long dance and Roy seemed to be taking every advantage of it. Lauren felt like every part of herself was flush up against the larger boy. She could feel a steady pressure from what she was now certain was Roy's excited penis. Any moment she expected one of the counselors to separate them, but judging by many of the other couples around them, the way Roy held her was not that uncommon among the other boys. Finally, the dance ended and she hurriedly said, "thank you Roy, I have to freshen up," and did a little curtsy. She walked back to where she hoped Thalia and Joan would be returning. They reappeared in a second and Lauren said, "do you have to use the ladies room?"

"Definitely," Thalia said and Joan added, "that's a great idea." They picked up their purses which were on the floor next to their chairs and headed off to the bathroom. On the way Joan said to Lauren, "who was that hot boy you were dancing with? He was like all over you!"

"His name is Roy and I don't know what happened. He just sort of wrapped himself around me! I think my perfume drove him crazy!"

"He's really cute. I wouldn't mind it if he came on to me like that, but that would be all he'd get!"

"Exactly," Lauren said relieved that Joan had helped define for her what the limit should be. "I'm sure he'll take whatever he can get, given the chance."

"Boys are so ridiculous," Thalia said, "but then why do we get freaked out if they don't come on to us!"

"Who did you dance with?" Lauren asked her two friends.

"This guy Greg," Joan said, "and then there was Benny and Bob or Rob or something like that."

"I just danced with this boy Owen," Thalia said. "He's really cute."

Lauren wondered if it was "the Owen." She would have to keep a closer eye on Thalia. "I like that we get to dance with lots of different boys."

"That's the way it is now, but after a few weeks I think we may know all the boys. I hope by then there is someone special," Joan said.

"Don't you have a boy friend at home?" Lauren asked.

"Sure, but I think it'll make the summer a lot more exciting to have one here. And then at the cotillion we could be exclusive - sort of like a prom."

Lauren had not thought about this much before, and she realized that she'd probably have to actually think about deciding on a boy she would like to spend the cotillion with. Without a doubt, anything that diminished the excitement of the cotillion had to be avoided if at all possible.

"I liked most of the boys I danced with," Thalia said, "but I do think Owen is special."

Lauren wondered if Thalia were giving her friends a warning to stay away from him. "What if he asks Lauren or I do dance?" Joan said.

"Gosh, I didn't mean to say that he's mine," Thalia said. "Go ahead and dance with him if he asks you. If he ends up with someone else then I suppose it's meant to be!"

Lauren thought to herself that Thalia would have nothing to worry about as far as Lauren was concerned. She was going to make sure that she didn't dance with Owen!
 

 
During the dance Amy sidled over to where Marilyn was standing. Together they watched Lauren as she did a fast dance with one of the boys. "That's very pretty dress Lauren is wearing."

"She has very feminine taste," Marilyn said. "I have to admit that she's a girlie girl. I did try our little tricks to see what I could see about her, but they didn't come up with anything. First I sort of burst in on her in the shower, but she happened to be quite well lathered up, particularly on her front and I couldn't see much at all. I didn't get a clear enough look to decide definitely what equipment she's got there so we can't rule out either possibility. Actually, when I thought about it later I was thinking that maybe I did see a little red something poking up out of the suds, but it might just be my imagination. "

"How did Lauren react to you entering the shower?"

"She jumped with surprise, but I did sort of suddenly sneak in, so I think any of the girls would be surprised. The one strange thing was that she immediately rinsed off but kept her back to me the whole time. Once again, it wasn't necessarily because she was hiding something."

"What about the letter?"

"I want to talk to you about that. Today a letter came for Lauren from someone named Beth. It was sent from Lauren's home town. It could be phony I suppose, but I saw Lauren reading it in her bunk and she looked truly absorbed in it. Then she got out her stationary and wrote a letter back to this girl. Anyway, I decided not to give her the L-O-R-I-N letter without first talking to you."

Amy pondered the new information and shook her head. She looked again at Lauren dancing nearby. "She sure dances like a girl. I'm at a total loss what to do now. I suppose we just have to sit tight and wait to see what happens next."

"I can try the shower trick again."

Amy looked at her and smiled. "Wait awhile. A couple of weeks, so we don't come across as too fanatical. Anyway, she'll let down her guard by then and maybe you'll get a clear view."

The song had ended and Lauren was now chatting with Eileen and Judy who had been dancing near her. "Just look at her," Marilyn said. "If that isn't a girl I'm a monkey's uncle." Lauren looked delicate, graceful and ever so girlish to the older women.
 

 
Though she didn't reveal it to Amy or Marilyn, Lauren felt aware of the fact that the counselors were looking her way. Just another piece of evidence that they were on to her. Thank goodness for the letter from Beth she thought. Once Beth started sending more letters it might shut down all suspicion, that is, as long as Camp Dan didn't forward any mail. The most damaging letters that could arrive from Camp Dan would be post cards from China signed "Mom and Dad." One would certainly think that the parents of a camper would know which camp their kid was going to!

As long as Lauren put her worries about Ms. Rovelstad and Marilyn out of her thoughts, she was having an absolutely wonderful time at the dance. The boys clearly thought her desirable, there was no longer any doubt about that, since virtually every dance a boy came up to her to ask her to dance. She danced a couple of more times with Roy and even again with Paul who seemed to be loosening up and enjoying himself more. It was grand.

A few times Lauren could see Owen nearby causing her to turn her back toward him and to dance slowly away from his position. Every so often she saw that Owen and Thalia were dancing and she wondered if they were getting into some sort of relationship. If so, it meant that Thalia was bound to bring Owen over to meet her and that that could be a recipe for disaster.

A really cute boy whom she had her eye on asked Lauren to dance a slow dance and she gladly accepted. As they started to dance Lauren said, "I'm Lauren and who are you?"

"I'm Phil. This is my first year at Camp Dan. I think it's a nice environment for helping the maturation process. You know, socialization, socializing. It's important, a main part of networking and thus a useful skill to acquire. Becoming a business titan is who I am. The fast track to success, to acquire a certain formidable base of wealth and, not coincidentally power is my goal."

Phil paused to take a breath and then continued ranting about his ideas on business, politics, adolescence and so on. Lauren tried to keep up but eventually began counting the seconds until the dance would be over. Apparently, being cute did not preclude a boy from being an utter bore and Lauren would have to be a lot more careful what she wished for in the future. It was unbelievable that Phil could not see how rude it was to not include Lauren in the conversation.

Phil was so preoccupied with himself and his endless monologue that he neglected to guide Lauren in the dance and she felt like they were standing still. Lauren looked at the couples around her to pass the time. Joan was dancing with Roy. With some amusement she noticed that Marilyn was dancing with one of the counselors from Camp Dan. Finally, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time the dance ended and Lauren thanked Phil and began walking away.

"I like you," Phil said catching up with her and holding her by the arm, "shall we dance again?"

Surprised, Lauren didn't know what to say and the opportunity to make up an excuse passed. Lauren resigned herself to one more dance during which time she would prepare herself to get away. As the music started however, out of nowhere Marcie came up to them and said, "I need to talk to Lauren."

"Oh? Really?" Phil said bewildered.

"Yes," Marcie said assertively, "come with me Lauren," and she led Lauren away.

Phil called out, "Later?"

Lauren smiled back at him and said nothing. She couldn't imagine what Marcie wanted with her and said, "What are going to do to me?"

"Chill Lauren. I'm not as evil as you think. Like I said I would, I've been keeping my eye on you and I couldn't help but notice that you were sinking into the Phil trap. I had to rescue you."

Lauren's expression showed incomprehension and Marcie continued, "Girls have to look out for each other, particularly with creeps like Phil alias Mr. Motor Mouth. He's such a moron that I couldn't stand by and let you get sucked in."

Lauren laughed and said, "That's so kind of you. I had no idea that you..." What she wanted to say was "gave a shit about me" but instead said, "that you were willing to help out a bunny."

"You're right, I shouldn't help the bunnies, but there is something about you that needs watching so I might as well help you out if I have to."

"Gosh," Lauren said, "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. The lesson for today is that you have to learn to stick up for yourself. You have the upper hand with boys, even if they might dominate physically. You have what the guys want. So take control."

One of the older boys came over and asked Marcie to dance. "All right Bob, in a minute" she said. To Lauren she said, "do you get what I'm saying little bunny."

"I think so. Thanks, Marcie," Lauren said.

"Good," Marcie said and she and Bob walked away. Lauren saw Joan sitting in her chair and walked over to her and sat down next to her. The short boy with braces who had danced with Lauren earlier came up to ask her to dance again, and she declined saying she wanted to rest a little. The boy then asked Joan and she said the same thing. He then walked away looking for another girl to ask. Not far from them Marcie and Bob were dancing. Marcie was a terrific dancer. Though her athleticism was evident, her shapely body moved with grace and feeling.

"That Marcie is amazing," Lauren said.

"Marcie?" Joan said.

Lauren pointed to her. "So that's Marcie," Joan said. "She's the head of the wolves from what I heard. Someone said she's so tough it's like she could be a guy pretending to be a girl!"

"You're kidding!" Lauren said blushing.

"I also heard a rumor that last year she snuck out of her cabin one night and met up with one of the guys from Camp Dan."

Lauren said. "Isn't that enough to get you kicked out of camp?"

"Yeah, but the counselors never caught her doing it."

"She stopped me the other day when I was walking back to the cabin. She teased me about being a bunny. It was even kind of scary, but now I think she's actually pretty nice."

"Why's that?"

"I was just dancing with this guy Phil. He was going on and on and on about himself and his business philosophy or something like that. I couldn't understand it, it was miserable. And then I couldn't get away from him when the danced ended and suddenly Marcie intervened."

Joan laughed, "You better point him out to me when you get a chance! I don't understand guys like that. Where do they get their egos from?"

"Exactly," Lauren said, "they're not really interested in us as people."

"They just want our bodies!"

Lauren started to laugh and then stopped when she realized that the statement was also true for her, though perhaps in a different way from most guys.

Joan saw Thalia in the distance dancing with Owen again. She said, "look over there it's Thalia with Owen again. It looks like they're making a connection."

"Really?" Lauren said. "I guess Thalia is lucky."

"Maybe, maybe not. I think it's better to wait a few weeks before letting any guy think he has you. You get to meet everyone little by little. If you couple off early and things don't turn out nice, like they usually don't, then you have a lot of weeks you have to avoid them at the dances. It can get ugly."

In front of them a tall lanky boy was doing a fast dance with one of the older girls. She had on tight jeans and Lauren watched how she moved her pretty butt to the music. If Lauren grew up to have a butt like that she'd be the happiest girl in the world.

When the dance ended the DJ announced that the next dance was a "ladies choice." Lauren blushed and said, "what do we do?"

"Let's get us some hunks," Joan said in a silly voice causing Lauren to laugh.

"Yeah, let's go!" Lauren added.

Joan got up and Lauren followed her as she moved around the dance floor. Lauren could see that some of the girls were approaching guys here and there asking them to dance. Nearby they saw Thalia starting to dance with Owen.

"Thalia must have asked Owen," Joan said.

"I hope it works out for her," Lauren said.

"Do you see any hot guys?" Joan asked.

"I'm looking them over," Lauren said.

"What about those two tall dreamy guys over there," Joan said, indicating two of the older boy campers. "You take one and I'll get the other!"

"Do you really think so?" Lauren said. They were definitely among the two hottest boys at the dance.

"No problemo!" Joan said.

Bolstered by her friend's self-confidence, Lauren said, "sure, let's do it!" and the two girls made their way over to the boys.

When they got there Joan said, "the two of us want to dance with the two of you."

"Oh, do you now," one of the guys said. "I'm Fred and this is Brian."

"And I'm Joan and this is Lauren," Joan said.

Lauren smiled with amusement as the two guys checked she and Joan out. Finally Brian coming up close to Lauren said, "Fred, I'll take this cute one if you take that cute one."

"Deal," Fred said and he and Joan together with Lauren and Brian walked to the center of the dance floor and began dancing.

Lauren decided that Brian must be some kind of athlete since there was a solidity and tautness to him that she felt the moment he held her and she put her arms around him. Unlike Roy who had overwhelmed her by practically crushing her body, Brian enveloped her solely through his muscular presence. She had the distinct feeling that Brian could snap her in two like a twig if he wanted to, but yet there was a gentleness to the way he firmly guided her around the dance floor.

"You're a good dancer," Brian said after a minute.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"Just, not so bad? That's it? Ouch!"

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!" Lauren said with mock horror. Even though she had been dancing with boys in the role of a girl just for a couple of hours, she had already caught on to how boys liked to tease girls.

Brian pulled back to look in Lauren's face only to see that she was laughing. "I had you so fooled," Lauren said.

"You're a funny girl. I like funny girls."

Lauren smiled to herself and found that Brian had changed his position slightly so that she ended up snuggling closer to him. "What sport do you play?" Lauren asked without even thinking that she should first ask to see if he even played a sport.

"Football, and some lacrosse too."

"Wow," Lauren said.

"I'm a tight end on the varsity. I'll be a senior next year. What about you? What sport do you play?"

Lauren laughed. "I'm not very good at sports. It's so funny that you think that I am."

"I was being polite," Brian said and this time it was Lauren's turn to find out if he meant it as a joke or not. "I had you this time."

Lauren liked Brian. "You're easy to talk to," Lauren said. Brian smiled at her. It was suddenly clear that Brian never had trouble getting girls. He probably got every girl he wanted. Whether he would want Lauren or not was not clear. If he did then it would be up to him to show it and Lauren would just have to wait to find out.

The dance ended and Fred came back with Joan and the four of them stood together. Lauren had seen Fred and Joan in a tight embrace as they danced and she wondered if it meant anything. A fast song started and the two guys this time asked the girls to dance.

While she danced Lauren wondered if Brian would have ever asked her to dance on his own. For her own part, she did vaguely remember seeing him earlier in the evening, but had filed him away as being too old and, she had to admit, too hot for her. Thank goodness Joan had more courage than she. She wondered if Brian had seen her earlier and thought her too young for him. Anyway, it certainly didn't seem to matter much now. She and Joan were having so much fun dancing with them and the two guys looked like they were also having a good time. It was definitely going to be a highlight of the evening.

When the song ended, the DJ said that there was time for one more dance, a slow one. Brian and Fred showed no sign of wanting to leave the girls and then they wordlessly took Lauren and Joan in their arms and the two couples resumed dancing. This time Brian put both of his arms across Lauren's back and pressed her gently into him. Lauren held him tightly herself, putting one hand on the back of his neck and enjoyed the intimacy. The lights lowered slightly and then some more. Lauren closed her eyes and then as if in a dream she felt Brian's lips on hers. He kissed her gently and she found herself kissing him back. They moved slowly in the dark in a tight embrace, every so often exchanging another kiss. Lauren wondered if Brian could feel her breasts pressing against his chest. She could feel his fingers slowly tracing the outlines of her bra where it lay across her back and then she felt his hand sinking onto her butt. Something in her mind was telling her to stop him but another place in her mind didn't want to disrupt the wonderful moment and she let it evolve as it would. The thought that her body could give pleasure to Brian seemed to be the culminating idea of the evening and a clear signal that she was seriously becoming a girl at every emotional level. She wished the moment would never end, but finally the lights gradually increased in intensity until they were fully on. Lauren and Brian loosened their hold on each other.

A counselor took the microphone and directed the boys to return to the bus. "I hope we'll see you next week," Fred said to the girls.

"That might be arranged," Joan said.

"I'll have to check my calendar," Lauren said.

"You two are priceless," Brian said.

The two guys said "bye" and the girls watched as they left for the bus. When they were out of view, Joan and Lauren retrieved their purses and met up with Thalia.

"Wow, what a night!" Lauren exclaimed as they walked slowly back to their cabin. The air was balmy and slightly humid and Lauren breathed it in deeply feeling more alive and filled with happiness - as Lauren - than she had been so far.

"Did you make a connection with that last boy you were dancing with?" Thalia said.

"Brian? I think so. I hope so," Lauren said. Later that night, when the lights were out and she was under the covers, she was going to let herself remember every wonderful detail about Brian. Just the thought that those memories were there waiting to be remembered made Lauren feel giddy with happiness.

"Lauren!" Joan said. "You better slow down, way down!"

"What do mean?" Lauren asked, puzzled.

"Brian and Fred may still want to hang with us next week, but don't count on it. They could very well not dance with us at all. They could easily find some other girls to play around with."

"But, I thought they were crazy about us!"

"You've got a lot to learn about boys!" Joan said. "They'll act any way they have to to get what they want!"

Crestfallen, Lauren fought back tears. Joan put her arm over Lauren's shoulders. "I didn't mean to disappoint you, but you obviously haven't had too many experiences. It's better you go into a relationship with Brian with no delusions that it's something other than what it is."

"But Joan, you don't really know that," Thalia said feeling sorry for Lauren, but also worrying about her own situation with Owen.

"You're right Thalia, I don't know, and it could end up being really nice, it's just that I think Brian and Fred are the kind of guys who just like to have fun. They probably like lots of girls and especially playing with new ones all the time. Anyway we'll find out next week."

"I suppose you're right," Lauren said, "but can't I still hope?"

"Sure Lauren," Joan said.

"Don't you feel Fred is really hooked on you? You were dancing so close!"

"I think he was hooked on me for that dance. I don't know about next week. I think we should focus on who we like among the boys and then maybe if we're lucky one of the ones we like also likes us. The three of us danced with a bunch of different guys and I bet some of them right this minute are worrying if we'll be willing to dance with them next week."

"I know you're right," Lauren said. "Marcie told me that girls have the upper hand in a relationship and we shouldn't forget it."

"Right," Joan said. "Pinning away about Brian or Fred is useless. Let them pine away about us!"

"I don't know," Thalia said, "I'm pretty sure that Owen will be thinking about me all week, but I'm also sure that I'll be thinking about him too."

"He's our age so it's a whole different story. Brian and Fred are older. I think it makes a big difference," Joan said.

"Still, I guess it doesn't really matter," Lauren said. The rest of her thought which she didn't say was that at least she had had this night. A wonderful night with boys making her feel like a girl. It was a new idea to her that boys could have such a big effect on her feeling feminine, but it was true. Their desire for her made her feel like a real girl, not just a pretend girl. Perhaps it was their desire for her body, for the chance to hold her. The special way they took in her perfume and let their lips and nose rest against her hair. Lauren had had all of that this night and most especially with Brian whose manly presence seemed to bring out what was most feminine in her. She decided that regardless of what Joan or Marcie might say, she would still allow herself the luxury of fantasizing about Brian. If next week she was hurt, that would be next week and she would deal with it then.
 
 

End Part IV
 
 
To Be Continued...