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I woke up early the next day nervous about the upcoming appointment. I had woken up several times sweating during the night, but again I couldn’t remember my dreams. I went to the bathroom and did my morning routine before changing and going downstairs.

I decided to cook breakfast for mom this morning, cooking always seems to relax me. I made some french toasts, scrambled eggs and a pot of coffee, my mom always liked her coffee black. After I set up the table, I went upstairs to call her.

I opened the door and said. “Mom? Breakfast is ready.”

She stretched, yawned and said “Thank you sweety. What time is it?”

“A little after 6:30”

“I’ll be downstairs in a couple minutes.”

“Okay.” I said and went downstairs.

I went outside and picked up the newspaper, I always loved the comics page. I brought it inside and put it on the living room coffee table. I wonder why is it called coffee table, as I never saw anyone put any coffee mugs or pots on one of those, there is always a pot of flowers or some other garnish in the middle, not to mention that sometimes people also use it to support their feet.

Yes, I am rambling, when nervous I tend to think silly things like that. I read the comics page and damn that Garfield is a funny cat.

My mom came downstairs wearing a bathrobe, and sat down at the table. “Hummmm, that smell delicious.” She said.

I sat down too and said. “Thanks mom.”

We ate and mom went upstairs for a shower and get ready to take me to the hospital. I got up, cleaned up the table and washed the dishes while I waited. Yep, you guessed, anything to avoid thinking about the appointment. The thing is I HATE NEEDLES.

Soon mom got back and we were on our way to the hospital.

###

While we were driving at the hospital my mother asked me. “Are you nervous, sweety?”

“Me? Nervous? A little I guess. What if there is something wrong with me?”

“I hope there is nothing wrong with you, but if there is I’m sure they will be able to fix it, right?”

“I guess.” I said dejectedly.

Arriving at the hospital, we quickly found a parking spot and went inside, there a receptionist directed us to the 3rd floor. We got the elevator and on the 3rd floor another receptionist said we would be called soon.

I rummaged through the magazines there, but nothing appealed to me, specially because I couldn’t find anything newer than 6 months ago. What do they want? Kill us with boredom or make us sick so they can get more money? Those magazines must be filled with germs and bacterias of hundreds of people. I bet that some guys even went to the bathroom and didn’t wash their hands before reading the magazines, ewwww.

“Everything is going to be fine sweety.” My mom said reassuringly and hugged me.

A few minutes later the receptionist/secretary, called my name and we went into Dr. Campbell office.

“Good morning, Sam, Mrs Evans.” he said greeting us.

“Good morning doc.” I said

“Good morning, Dr. Campbell.” My mother said.

“As we discussed last night, you are worried that your puberty didn’t start yet, right? Today I will perform a physical exam and collect some blood to do some tests, that hopefully will give us some answers.” said.

‘Dammit! I knew there would be needles involved.’

“Okay, young man, why don’t you go to the exam room, strip down and put on the gown that is there, I’ll be there with a nurse in a couple minutes.” He told me.

I went to the exam room and changed into a blue hospital gown. ‘These things are ugly and thin as paper, and somewhat uncomfortable, and why my ass is not covered? Oh oh, he won’t do a rectal exam, will he?’

Soon the Dr. came inside together with a nurse. He measured me, weighted me, probed me and I think the nurse took out a gallon of blood. Not that I saw it, because my head was turned to the other side and my eyes were shut all the time while she was taking my blood. Luckily there was no rectal exam this time.

Oh, they made me pee in a cup too, for a urine test.

After I put my clothes back, I went to the office and the Dr. was there talking to my mother.

I sat down beside her and he said. “Apparently you are very healthy, though slightly underdeveloped young boy. Your testes didn’t descent yet, but they are there. Now we have to wait for the test results come back, we can see where to go from there.”

“So you mean there is nothing wrong with me?”

“Other than the underdevelopment I didn’t find anything wrong, and if the test results come back the way I think they will, I think we could try to kick-start your puberty.”

“How?” Me and mom asked.

“Usually giving a shot of testosterone, starts the maturation process of the gonads, starting that way the puberty.”

Gulp, another needle. Just my luck.

“Couldn’t you give me one of those shots now and be over with it?” I asked

“First we need to wait for the test results to come back to see your current hormonal level. If the testosterone levels are low then we can try to use the shot.”

“And what if the testosterone levels are normal?” My mother asked.

“If the levels are normal, then it could mean Sam has some level of AIS.”

“AIS?” my mother asked

“Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, meaning that if he has it, no matter how much testosterone we try to inject it won’t do any good because with the AIS the androgen receptors are defective.”

“So if I have that AIS thing what does it mean?”

“I think its too soon to say you have it, but if you do you probably have a form of PAIS that is a Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome as you do have all the male genitals. But depending of how severe it is, it means that your body will never develop to be a man’s body and your body will slowly start to feminize itself because even men has small amounts of estrogen in their bodies.”

“You mean that I would become a woman?” I asked scared about the answer.

“As I said its too early to tell, we need to wait for the results to know where to go from there. I personally think that AIS or PAIS is not the case here. I think what you have is just a hormone deficiency.”

“When do you expect the results to come back, Dr.?” My mother asked.

“The hormone levels will take just a few hours, If you want we could meet again today at 5:00PM after my last appointment.”

“Thank you Dr.” My mother said.

“You are welcome, Mrs. Evans. It’s no big deal, really. I’m doing this as a favor to my daughter, she liked Sam very much.”

“I liked her very much too, Sir.” I said and blushed when I noticed who I just said that to.

“You seem like a very polite and nice boy, Sam, my daughter is lucky to have met you. But don’t tell her I said that. If you do I will deny, after all I still have a father image to uphold.” He said and laughed.

“Okay doc, I won’t tell her, it will be our secret.” I said and shook his hand to seal the deal.

“Deal.” he said shocking my hand.

###

We left the hospital in a foul mood, worried about what might be wrong with me. ‘What if I have that PAIS or AIS thing? Won’t I ever become a man? What does it mean?’

My mother seemed to pick up on my mood and said. “Don’t worry, sweety. You heard what the doctor said, it is probably a hormone deficiency, but if it isn’t just remember something, whatever happens, my love for you will never change, Okay?”

“Okay.” I said meekly.

###

The rest of the trip home we were silent, I wasn’t in the talking mood and mom probably noticed that and soon we were home.

I went to my bedroom and played some computer games to take my mind of what happened this morning and avoid thinking about what is about to happen later today. Yes I did want to search for more information on AIS and PAIS but I was scared of what I might find, so call me a coward if you want to.

At noon, mom called me to lunch, she had made one of my favorite dishes, beef and french fries. Yes I am a boy with simple tastes, well... almost, I do like to eat my french fries with mayo.

After lunch I went to the living room watch some TV, I zapped around the channels but there was nothing interesting in it.

Around 2 I was already bored and the anxiety about the upcoming appointment was getting into me. I went to my mom and said. “Mom, I think I’m going to meet Jess at the school gate, can you pick me up at her home for us to go to the hospital later?”

“Sure sweety, I’ll pick you up there around 4:00.”

“Thanks mom.” I said and gave her a peck on her cheek.

###

I texted Jess, telling her to meet me at the school gate after class and started to walk. I decided to do a long way because there was still some time until the end of class, but still I arrived about 15 minutes early, so I sat down on the stairs (out of the way of course) and waited for her.

A few minutes after the final bell Jess came outside running and gave me a big hug. More than a few raised eyebrows could be seen looking at us, but I didn’t care. I had other things in my mind.

“So how did it go this morning?”

“I’ll tell you on the way to your home, Jess.” Mom will pick me up in about a hour there to go back to the hospital.”

“There is nothing wrong, I hope” She said worriedly and we started walking.

“Probably not, he think it might be just a hormone deficiency and I probably need a testosterone shot to kickstart things.”

“So why the long face? There is something you are not telling me, isn’t it?”

“Gosh, there is no way to hide things from you, is there?”

“No way whatsoever.” She said with a smile.

“Well... he said if it isn’t an hormonal deficiency it might be PAIS, AIS or something like that, and said if it is the case I will never develop to be a man.” I said feeling tears beginning to form.

“You mean, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome?” she asked me.

“Yes, do you know about it?” I asked her.

“I read about it. I want to become a doctor someday, so I usually read my parents periodics.”

“A smart girl, I like that.”

“You silly.” She said, slapped me on my arm and giggled.

“So do you want to know about AIS?” She asked me a couple minutes later.

“Actually not right now, maybe after we get to your home and I have a place to sit down.”

“Okay”

###

We arrived at her home and again she yelled telling her mom she was back home.

I think she will end up making me deaf someday.

Her mom came and greeted us. She asked me how things went and I told her all that happened in the hospital. After I finished she said. “Rich is probably right, but if it ends up being PAIS you might have a hard choice to make.”

“What kind of choice?” I asked already dreading the answer.

“The choice of not doing anything and have your body slowly feminizing itself, giving you more and more an androgynous to female looking appearance, with serious health issues in a few years, like osteoporosis due to the lack of hormones, or you can go the female way and start a hormone replacement therapy and your body will develop like any other girl.”

“You mean, become a girl?”

“Yes, the choice in that case would be between a feminine looking sick boy or a healthy girl.”

“So that wouldn’t be really a choice would it? I mean its a choice of a long healthy life against a life where any fall I could break a bone and die young, right.”

“It is a choice none the less, Sam. It will all depend of what you decide to do.”

“But I don’t know a thing about being a girl, and after last year, I don’t think anyone will accept me anyway?” I said starting to feel the tears running down my cheeks again.

“What happened last year, Sam?” Jess asked me holding me tightly.

“I can’t tell, you will hate me if I do.” I said crying.

“Unless you killed someone there is no way I can hate you.” She told me reassuringly.

“You can tell us, Sam.” Dr. Cathy said also holding me.

“Okay. (sniff)”

“You met Stephanie, right?” I asked Jess.

“The girl that sits in front of me at homeroom?”

“Yes. Until last year we were the best of friends since preschool. She lives just a few houses from mine and we were practically inseparable.”

“Why aren’t you two still friends? She seems like a nice girl.”

“Because that what happened last year was her fault, and because of that the bullying became even worse since then. And even the girls don’t talk to me anymore or ignore me.”

“What happened last year after all?”

“Well, it was a few weeks to Halloween and we were at her house planning what would we wear for the school’s party and she had the idea of me trying up one of her cheerleader uniforms.” I said looking at the floor blushing.

“So you went to the party dressed as a cheerleader and something happened there?” Jess asked.

“No, I never went to the party.”

“So what happened.”

“Well, she convinced me to try the outfit and she did my hair and put some makeup for the finishing touches. When I looked at the mirror It was a mix of shock and fascination, as I did look like a girl. We took some pictures and I changed back into my regular clothes before going home.”

“Until then I don’t see anything wrong, it was for Halloween, right? And even if it wasn’t there is nothing wrong with that.” Dr. Cathy said and Jess nodded.

“The next day I met Steph and we walked together to school like we always did, everything seemed normal until we reached the school. Kids everywhere were pointing at me and laughing saying ‘Look at the sissy’ and other things that I don’t even dare to repeat. When I reached my locker, glued on the door were the pictures we took the day before and the whole school got copies.” I said breaking down again. “She was my best friend dammit! Why did she do that to me?”

Both mother and daughter stood there hugging me while I cried. I think Jess was crying a little too.

###

A few minutes later I was finally getting my shit back together and the doorbell rang. It was my mother.

“Are you ready to go, sweety?” She asked me.

“Yeah, I guess.” I said. “Jess, can you go with me?”

“Are you sure you want me to?” She asked me.

“Yeah, you kinda make me feel safe, please?”

“Of course I will go with you. I mean, if my mom approves.” She said looking at her mom with puppy dog eyes.

“You can go, Jess, and the puppy dog eyes only work on your father.”

“Thank you, mom.” She said hugging her mother and giving her a kiss on her cheek.

###

We arrived at the hospital and went to the 3rd floor again, during all that time Jess was holding my hand reassuringly.

We sat down on the waiting room and I told her my thoughts about the magazines I had that morning. When I did so, she dropped the magazine she had in her hands and said. “Ewww. I’m never touching a magazine in a waiting room ever again.”

A few minutes later we were directed to the doctor’s office and when we entered Jess run to her father, jumped and gave him a peck on his cheek.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi princess, what are you doing here?

“Sam asked me to come for support, it’s okay, isn’t it?”

“Sure it is, princess.”

We all sat down and Jess hold my hand tightly again. The doctor then said. “I got the tests results and you do have a hormonal deficiency, all other tests returned normal. I think we can do the hormone shot to kickstart your puberty young man.”

“When can I have it?” I said eagerly even though I was dreading the needle, but if it helps me, I’ll deal with it.

“Right now actually, lets go to the exam room away from the girls because the shot is on an embarrassing area for you.” He said and Jess giggled.

“Okay” I said following him to the exam room. There I lowered my pants a little, he cleaned one of my ass cheeks with a wet cotton with what I think smelled like alcohol and gave me the shot. Ouch! That hurts. I hope I don’t need another one of those.

We returned to his office and I decided to stand up, my behind was a little sore and I guess Jess noticed because she was still giggling.

“I want to see you next month to check up on your progress, Sam. Right now we did all we could.” He said and shook my hand.

“Thanks for everything doctor.” I said.

“You are welcome, son.”

“Lets go home mom. Come Jess, lets celebrate.” I said happily.

“Don’t worry Dr. Campbell, I’ll take good care of your daughter, my mom will see to it.” I said laughing.

“Okay son. I want her home by 9, it’s a school night after all.”

“Bye daddy.” Jess said happily.

###

We were reaching the elevator when I started to feel dizzy. “Mom, I don’t feel so good.” I said.

“What’s wrong, Sam?”

“I’m feeling strange, dizzy, it’s... getting... hard... to breath.”

“I’ll go get my dad.” Jess said and run.

“Hold on, Sam, help is on the way.”

It was the last thing I heard before everything went dark

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To Be Continued...