December 2021 Christmas Holidays Story Contest Entry

Being Cindy for Christmas

This year Rose and Steve Greene are hosting the family with a Christmas Eve dinner and gift exchange as is the family tradition. What will be different is that for the first time it will be Rose and Cindy hostessing the family gathering. Rose has conferred with their children Jane and Michael and been reassured that this will be fine with all.

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We start with Rose and Cindy in the kitchen the evening of the 23rd preparing for the next evening. Cindy is baking Cherry and pecan pies and homemade (well bread machine) bread. two loaves of Challah (Jane's favorite) and two loaves of rye (Michaels favorite). One each for the meal and one for the respective children to take home. Rose is preparing a cheese cake and side dishes.

“So how are you feeling about Cindy co-hosting the family Christmas,” asked Rose.

“A lot more excited than I thought I would be. Everyone has met, and seems comfortable with Cindy, but this is her first holiday appearance. This is very special for me and I have you to thank for it. This is really the result of years of your acceptance and participation in Cindy’s evolution.” replied Cindy.

“You have made Cindy an integral part of our family, and it is only right that she gets to celebrate with us. Besides I think I will get a more equitable division of labor for me.” said Rose.

Cindy and Rose proceeded as the well oiled team they had become, and preparations including decorating and putting presents under the tree went smoothly.

As Rose and Cindy had a pre-Christmas celebration before going to sleep, Rose said, “I think I am getting the best of both Steve and Cindy this Christmas.”

Cindy replied, “My Rose is always the best.”

They slept well in a warm embrace.

The next morning Cindy was up in anxious anticipation at 6:30 despite it being after 1:00 when they had settled to sleep. When this roused Rose, she said, “Relax, we have a long day ahead of us. How about a morning quickie and a little sleep in.” The Steve in Cindy couldn’t refuse that offer and that is how they began their day.

They reawakened at about 9:30 and dressed in jeans and sweatshirts,
Their preparations and Rose’s organization left them with little to do. Cindy busied herself setting up a model train running in a circle around the presents, under the tree.

Around 1:00 Rose sent Cindy to shower shave and do her makeup. After stuffing the turkey and putting it in the oven, Rose followed about 2:00.

After showering they got dressed in the matching felt jumpers Cindy had sewn for them. Cindy’s was red and Rose’s was green. Both were decorated with appliques of snowflakes and Christmas toys.

Rose said, “You don’t have to be so nervous. They all know Cindy and are comfortable with her. And they are all expecting Rose and Cindy as co-hostesses this year.”

“I know I should be more relaxed, but somehow this seems like a formal introduction of Cindy to the family, and somewhere there is a fear of rejection buried there.” replied Cindy.

“Cindy has been a part of the family as long as either kid can remember, and their families have been aware of that. You are accepted, and you should be thankful not nervous.”

“I find myself both!” answered Cindy honestly.

Rose combed Cindy’s hair reassuringly. “I thought we were through this, but I guess you still need reassurance that you are loved and accepted as part of the family. So just relax, accept yourself, and enjoy the love of your family.”

“I love you, soo much!” replied Cindy, fighting tears. She accepted Rose’s help with makeup not because she needed it, as once she did, but as a symbol of love and acceptance of her Cindy persona.

Jane’s family, husband Jim, Brandon 13, and Jessica 11, arrived a little before 6. They had a little surprise for Cindy. Jane said “Brandy thought this would be a good chance to introduce herself to the family and to offer some moral support to Cindy.” Brandon appeared in his Halloween costume of plaid skirt, white blouse, wig, light makeup, knee socks, and Mary-Jane shoes. His smile directed at Cindy.

Again fighting tears, Cindy said, “I can’t express how much I appreciate your support, and how nice you look. Does this mean we will be seeing more of Brandy?”

“Probably not. But it is nice to have the option.” answered Brandy.

“I hope so. I like having a sister.” answered Jessica.

About 10 minutes later Michael and family, wife Cathy, Kerry 8, and Faith 6 arrived. They were surprised by and introduced to Brandy.

The 4 girls (counting Brandy) went to Jane’s old bedroom, which had been turned into a playroom for the grandkids. As soon as they were alone Kerry asked Brandy, “Does this mean you are like Grampa?”

Brandy was surprised how aware of the gender issues Kerry was at age 8, but answered, “No, I don’t think so. I will admit that part of the reason I chose this as a Halloween costume was to explore that. But it just doesn’t feel right. Parts of it have been fun. But I don’t really want to do this much more. I just wanted to give you all a chance to meet Brandy and to help Grandma Cindy not feel alone.”

Meanwhile the adults had distributed beer and wine and were discussing the same subject. Michael was asking Jane, “Do you think Brandon has gender dysphoria?”

Jane answered, “I think the choice of that Halloween costume was exploring that question. I think he is in the process of deciding that while being a girl is not all bad, overall he is not attracted to it. Today I think it is mostly a matter of giving Cindy moral support, for which I am very proud of the sensitivity he is showing. He may also be testing how adults react to Brandy. At this point I just want to let him know he is loved and supported whatever he decides.”

Michael asked, “Jim, don't you find your son's behavior disturbing?”

“When first exposed to your father’s crossdressing I found it weird. But as I have seen more of your family dynamics, I find myself hard pressed to find a more loving couple than Rose and Steve/Cindy. I think you and Jane should consider yourself lucky to have been raised amidst so much love. Part of me finds Brandon’s explorations disturbing, but I agree that our priority now is to let him know he is loved and safe with us regardless of his choices.” Answered Jim.

“Jim, I am proud to have you as a son-in-law. Life is a continuing evolution and process of self discovery. I have only recently decided that while I enjoy being perceived and treated as a woman, I am most at peace in groups like this where it is known I still have male plumbing and there is no fear of discovery and exposure. It is early in Brandon’s exploration process, but he is miles ahead of where I was at his age. I will do what I can to help him sort through his thoughts.
His moral support had me tearing up.”

“You guys are right.” said Michael, “Somehow having a nephew display that behavior set off alarm bells for me, that having a father who has always been that way didn’t.”

Rose said, “Michael your job as an uncle is to provide love and support, but to leave the heavy lifting to the parents.”

Jim tried to move the discussion on with, “I think this needs time, patience, and open minds. I can’t think of a family better equipped to handle it.”

Rose took charge, “We have another matter that could use the kind of frank, open, family discussion we just had. I thought you had all come to know Cindy and be comfortable with her. But this morning Cindy dredged up some feelings of guilt and rejection. I think she needs reassurance from all of us that she is an important part of the family. If any of you have reservations about Cindy being part of family celebrations please air them here.”

There was quiet as everyone as everyone looked around the room, to see who would be first to try to tackle this elephant. Finally Jim started, “I already stated that at first I found Steve/Cindy weird. But as I have gotten to know him/her better in both persona, I see both parts fitting together to make a wonderful person. As time goes on I see more Cindy and less Steve. Cindy is more comfortable in her own skin and more of a free spirit and her own person. Steve may be more responsible but he is more guarded and less spontaneous. I am coming to prefer Cindy and am wondering why we haven’t invited her to family celebrations earlier. Welcome Cindy you are at least as much a part of the family as Steve.”

After more quiet glancing around Cathy was next. “As the other outsider coming into this family it took awhile to adjust to Steve/Cindy. But I am finding Cindy a more open happier persona, and that I am coming to prefer her to Steve. Welcome Cindy I want you to be a part of the family and an extra grandparent to my children.”

Jane jumped in quickly, “Like most little girls, I loved my dad. Cindy has always been a part of him. I loved Cindy because she made dad happy, and I loved seeing him happy. Welcome Cindy, I want you as part of the family because I want my happy dad.”

Michael was next, “Growing up, I found it embarrassing to have a dad who wore dresses. I am beginning to see that holding on to that embarrassment has left me a little bigoted. I am starting to see that what is important is that he is happy, not what he wears. I probably have some growing up to do, but welcome Cindy, wear what makes you happy.”

Finally it was Rose’s turn, “I was not happy when Steve told me of his feminine alter ego, I named Cindy. At first she was a kind of unwanted bratty little sister. But over the years she has grown, not only to be a friend but my best friend. Like you there are parts of Cindy I prefer over Steve. But I have come to believe I have the best of two worlds and want to keep both Steve and Cindy in my world. I have trouble welcoming Cindy because she has been such an important part of my world for so long. I hope you letting Cindy know how you feel about her helps her feel an important, wanted, loved part of our family.”

Cindy started, “I don’t know how far I will get without breaking down in happy tears. This is probably the most joyous Christmas I have ever experienced. Even in the wonder years of early childhood there was always the forgotten little girl inside. But today, thanks to all of you, Cindy feels she is an important, loved and wanted part of a very loving family, not just a defective part of Steve. I also see that it is not just children that need to feel loved and safe in a family. ”
Cindy was tearing up and getting choked up.

Seeing this, Rose again took charge, “On to the important stuff. Cindy and Jane help me get the food set out. Cathy, get the children cleaned up for dinner. Mike and Jim pour drinks for everyone.”

It wasn’t long before everyone was seated around the table that overflowed with food.

“Jim, could you lead us in prayer?” asked Rose.

Jim responded. “Dear God we thank you for this wonderful meal, so lovingly prepared by Rose and Cindy. But we thank you even more for this opportunity to bond into the loving family created by Rose and Steve/Cindy. Amen” After a pause, Jim continued, “Since Steve is only present in spirit today, I suggest that we give Cindy the honor of carving the turkey.” There was a consensus agreement to this with nods and body language, and a, “Let us get going!” from Michael.

Cindy efficiently carved the turkey and the various dishes were passed around, all helping themselves. It was quiet as the food took center stage. But then the time honored tradition of sharing their lives over a shared feast took over and multiple conversations started. The family bonded over the shared feast and shared what was happening in their lives.

The previous year both the Thanksgiving and Christmas get-togethers had been canceled due to Covid-19. Though they had a Thanksgiving celebration, Christmas was the time they got to get caught up on each other's lives, as they had more time together and less diversion from television sports.

Cathy, who taught 3rd grade, was glad to be back in the classroom. She felt the transition to on-line learning had been less than successful for both her and most of her students. She found it much harder to assess how her students were doing and where they needed help on-line.

Mike felt the positive of spending more time with his daughters from working at home outweighed the negatives. He also felt he gained a better understanding of how hard Cathy’s jobs were. He had been afraid Covid would have more adverse effects on the economy, but the markets had done surprisingly well, and he had had a good year in his job, as a stockbroker.

It had not been a good year for Bill and Jane. Bill, who ran an excavator, had seen his hours dropping, as commercial construction ground almost to a stop. He hoped the infrastructure bill would create a boom. Jane’s counseling practice was also struggling. Though Covid had caused more people to need counseling, Few were insured or could afford it at this point, And those staying at home had caused a net reduction in sessions.

Both Rose and Steve moved their retirements forward. Neither wanted to catch Covid from being out and about and risk leaving the other alone. Many of their social outlets had stopped due to Covid. The crossdressers club had stopped face to face meetings (though Cindy continued to meet some of her friends both in person and online. Their bowling league and bridge club had shut down, and their church had reduced fellowship meetings and study groups. So Rose and Steve found themselves with much more together time and Steve had more opportunity to be Cindy. Both enjoyed these developments. Steve became more comfortable and secure as Cindy. When travel and meeting restrictions eased they ventured to a transgender convention, and found they both enjoyed it, and decided to do it more often. Cindy’s co-hosting was an outgrowth of her increased presence.

As everyone was finishing dessert, Cindy tapped her glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. “I want to thank you all for welcoming me to this family gathering. You have made this my best Christmas, ever.”