A Different Way To Tell Your Spouse

Printer-friendly version
a different way to tell your spouse 3.png


Graphic created by Patricia Marie Allen from pictures found on Pixabay.com

As they drove into the downtown district, Amy asked, “Who are these people you want me to meet.”

Robert answered, “We’re almost there. It's probably easier if you just meet them.”

“Why all this secrecy?

“It’s not secrecy! It’s just hard to explain. You will understand after you meet them.”

While her curiosity was aroused (along with various suspicions), Amy decided to not pursue more questions at this point.

“Where are we going?” asked Amy.

“We are meeting them at the Starbucks across the street.” answered Robert.

As they entered Robert scanned the room, “I see they're here.”

“Where?”

“The tall woman in the white dress and the one in green with her in the back corner booth. Let’s get drinks and join them. What would you like?” replied Robert.

“A low-cal caramel, chocolate latte.” Amy replied.

Robert went to the barista, “Two low cal caramel, chocolate lattes, one medium one grande.”

“Anything else?” Asked the barista.

“I’ll have a raspberry Danish.” added Amy.

After paying, Robert took their tray and said, “You lead, I’ll follow.”

As they neared the booth, Robert said, “Hello girls, this is my wife Amy, Amy, the lovely lady in green is Rose, and her partner is Cindy.”

Amy warily slid into the booth wondering if they were lesbians.

As Robert sat down, Rose asked, “You haven’t told her?” directing the question to Robert.

“Not yet.”

“What haven’t you told me?” asked Amy, raising her voice more than a little.

“That I am attracted to wearing womens clothes.” replied Robert quietly.

Amy eyed Cindy suspiciously and asked Rose. “And this is your husband? And this is a plot to recruit me to your deviant lifestyle?”

Rose stared back at Amy and replied, “We are not here to recruit you. We are here to help you stay married. If that is what you both want. You probably want to run now. That was my first reaction, but I’m glad I didn’t.”

Amy realizing Robert had her trapped in the booth simply asked, “Why?”

Rose replied, “Because, I would have been running from what has become 40 years and counting of happy marriage.”

“I can confirm that.” inserted Cindy.

“If you both want to stay married, I think you ought not use words like deviant or abomination, and we should not use religious bigot and similar. Some wounds don’t heal.”

“I do want to stay married, and I agree on the language restraints.” said Robert.

“I agree to the language restraints and I want to hear more.” Amy said, begrudgingly.

“What do you want to hear?” asked Rose.

“Why I should want to stay married!” replied Amy.

“ The only reason you should want to stay married is because you love Robert.” replied Rose.

“I think I do, but this is a part of Robert, that I don’t know and he has hidden from me.” said Amy.

“I know. Steve told me while we were engaged, and my first reaction was to run. But he gave me some things to read, and I came to realize that many of the things that I found attractive in Steve could be labeled feminine. We had a lot of long hard discussions and agreed to get married and handle his crossdressing together.” Rose explained.

Amy had many questions bouncing in her head, but merely said, “Continue with your story.”

Rose continued, “I didn’t meet Cindy until until after we were married. When I saw her, I wanted to shout ‘You look like a whore. No self respecting woman would be seen in that.’ but like I’ve asked you to do I restrained my language and said ‘That’s a pretty sexy outfit.’”

“At the time I took ‘pretty’ as a complement. But I have come to understand she meant overly and that she was right.” interjected Cindy.

“That led to me becoming Cindy’s wardrobe, hair, and makeup consultant and instructor. At first it was burdensome. It seemed like I was being saddled with a 13-yr-old little sister and that wasn't part of what I signed up for with marriage,”

“That made me love her all the more, knowing she was helping out of love.” said Cindy.

“But as Cindy began looking and acting more our age, she became my best friend, only we don’t discuss men.” continued Rose.

“I’ve never had an interest in men.” Cindy interjected.

“That is not universal, so don’t make assumptions, Amy.” warned Rose.

“I don’t either.” said Robert.

“You better let me know if you ever do!” declared Amy.

“You both need to discuss such things openly and honestly. We are just trying to help keep you together long enough for you both to do the hard work.” stated Rose.

Looking at Robert, Amy asked, “Are you going to be open and honest with me?”

“I wanted to tell you. But, I was afraid I would lose you. I hoped the urges would go away when we married. But they seem to get stronger the more I try to suppress them.” said Robert.

“From our experience and that of others in the community, you should work on how to deal with it, and not waste your energy trying to make it go away.” stated Cindy.

“Amy, I think you should give Robert credit for coming here looking for help. It was a very brave thing for him to do, and I think it shows he loves you very much.” said Rose.

“I do.” said Robert.

“I love you too. Enough that I am willing to give your hidden part a chance to get me to like her.” said Amy.

“Robert chose Rose as a name for that part. That is how we met at a gathering of the Roses. I got to name Cindy. If you have a better name I don’t think Robert is strongly committed to Rose.” said Rose.

“I could call him Ro both ways.” said Amy.

“I don’t think I’d like to be known as ‘fish eggs’ “ said Robert.

“That’s good. You both need to be able to see the lighter side and be able to joke about it.” Said Rose.

“I don’t think this is a light subject.” said Amy.

“It’s not. But when you see Rose dressed, I think you will find plenty to joke about. Rose needs your help, Amy.” said Rose.

“It would be like I died and went to heaven, if Amy helped that way.” said Robert.

“You won't say that after she puts you in a girdle so Mr. Happy won’t make an unwanted appearance.” came from Cindy.

“You need to set limits. For example, some wives say you can do it, but I don’t want to see it. Fine if that’s what works for you. But personally I think that approach misses most of the fun.” said Rose.

“What other kinds of limits do couples set?” asked Amy.

“Many wives set conditions that the femme persona stay out of bed, saying they are not lesbian. I felt that way for a long time. But I noticed that after a session as Cindy, that Steve became a more patient and attentive lover. So I offered to try role playing with Cindy. I don’t feel like a lesbian, only that my partner and I have expanded the ways we please and enjoy each other.” related Rose.

“I can’t express how wonderful it is that she makes a part of me, that I once felt was unlovable, feel loved.” added Cindy.

“We are jumping too far ahead for you two. The courtship with Cindy took many years. Amy you still see Rose as a strange beast, you are wary of. And Rose is trembling in her heels, fearing she may mess up one of the best things in Robert’s life. You need to work on getting to know each other better, and hopefully becoming friends.” said Rose.

“How do we do that?” asked Amy.

“You should probably start by asking Robert all those questions you have. Realize he won’t have all the answers, he is only starting to explore his Rose. Then you should plot a course together. It might start with Amy and Rose meeting and spending time together. Amy might find ways to help Rose. That should be easy, as Rose needs lots of help.” answered Rose.

“What kind of help?” asked Amy.

“Makeup, hair, wardrobe, comportment for starters. It’s a big job, but you can rise to it, a little at a time.” answered Rose.

“Rose and Robert will love you all the more for it!” inserted Cindy.

“And it can be fun for both of you.” added Rose.

“What else?” asked Amy.

Rose continued, “I have talked with many wives. Many have found useful ways to use their husbands interest. Many have found they get more and better help with housework if they let their husband do it dressed. Some couples go as far as having the husband serve as a uniformed maid. Some use it as blackmail. I don’t recommend that. I think blackmail is always detrimental to a marriage. But I think it is fine to use it to negotiate bigger clothing and shoe budgets.”

“You are really opening possibilities I wouldn’t have considered.” Said Amy. Robert merely smiled.

“Remember, you need to discuss these things together. And like most things in marriage, there has to be give and take on both your parts. But that discussion and negotiation will bring you closer and make your bonds stronger.” stated Rose.

“The more I know her the more I love her.” added Cindy.

“You make it sound so easy.” said Amy. Robert nodded.

“It’s not easy. No marriage is. Transvestism is an extra challenge that marriage doesn’t need.
But in our case transvestism was our path to the open and honest communication all marriages need. Overall I would say it’s been more a positive than a negative for us” Rose stated and Cindy nodded.

“What about the negatives?” asked Amy.

“There is the expense of the extra wardrobe. The pressures and problems of hiding it from those you think won’t understand, is probably the biggest hassle. As we get older and care less about what others think, it is getting easier.” Said Rose.

“I am regretting not coming out earlier,” said Cindy.

“But haven’t you had negative reactions?” asked Robert.

“A few. but most are of the ‘you're an abomination, I want you out of my life’ type. I find I am happier with them out of my life.” answered Cindy.

“What about children?” asked Amy.

“At first we decided to hide Cindy from our children. And let me tell you, that made Steve much harder to live with. If I had it to do over again, I would have Cindy changing their diapers. Our grandchildren have grown up knowing both grandpa Steve and grandma Cindy. It doesn’t phase them at all.” said Rose.

After a lull in the conversation, “I think we have done all we can to push you down the road to a happy marriage. I think it’s time to get on our way.” said Cindy.

“Thank you both. You may have kept our marriage from crashing and burning.” said Amy.

“Would you exchange e-mail addresses and keep in contact.” asked Robert.

“Yes but you need to learn to trust and depend on each other.” Said Cindy.

“Amy, let the boys handle that, and let us do the powder room thing.” said Rose.

Cindy harrumphed, “I don’t resemble that!”

Once in the Ladies room, Rose said, “I’m going to give you my phone number. But I don’t want you to overuse it. I want you to make your Rose your best friend not me.”

“Thank you.” replied Amy. “Before you leave do you have recommended reading for me?”

“Steve gave me ‘The Transvestite and His Wife’ by Virginia Prince. That was written by a TV and may be too sympathetic to their side of things. Also I’m not sure it’s still in print. I recommend you start with a couple of books by Peggy Rudd, ‘My Husband Wears My Clothes’ and ‘Crossdressing with Dignity’. You might also try ‘My Husband Betty’ by Helen Boyd. I’ll let you know if I think of any others.” answered Rose.

“I can’t thank you enough for everything.” said Amy.

“You already have, with the premature credit for saving your marriage. Just pay it forward.” replied Rose.

“Oh, some time when you want to ruffle his feathers, ask him how he described your courtship to the gathering of Roses.” Rose told Amy.

With that the two couples went their separate ways.

---------------------------------

If you enjoyed this, you may want to check out the introduction of these characters in “One Dozen Roses” One Dozen Roses I highly recommend the whole anthology, but I am biased.

up
128 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

a cool way to come out

and it looks like they have hope of saving their marriage

DogSig.png

To Tell your Spouse, by Cheryl

A good story that I wished I had earlier in my life. Where does one find a couple as good as Cindy and Amy?

Hugs. Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

One Dozen Roses

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

Cheryl had some trouble with the link to "One Dozen Roses" I too recommend reading the entire group of stories. Click here to read it.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

Sweet little scene

crash's picture

You paint a sweet little scene here. It was fun to read. It'd be interesting to hear a bit more of Amy's internal dialog through all this.

Thanks for posting.
I've started One Dozen Roses. I'll let you know how it goes over there.

Your friend
Crash

Nice story!

Donna T's picture

Nice story, good points. Well written.

Dee

(50 years and counting here!)

Donna

Entertaining and instructive

This story is so different to the usual journey to girlhood stories that live at BC. I liked that it was much more believable and close to real life. Robert/Rose and that scenario is much more relatable with similar situations often happening in real life.
You have even given pointers to a couple of books I was unaware of, so thanks for including them.