“When I first moved here, I hoped I would make a friend, and when I met you, it was like a dream come true. You’re strong, self-confident, and not confrontational like so many guys. At first, it seemed like you really didn’t want to be friends, but things seemed to work out. I have never had such a good friend, and I never knew such a … such a wonderful guy!

“Just now, after I played music for you and I asked you what you thought. Instead of commenting on the music, you actually told me what you thought, and it wasn’t about the music at all. I know you would like to take that back, but there would be no need to take it back if you could. I would never try to embarrass you. But when you told me I’m beautiful, you didn’t mean the way I played, I think you meant physically beautiful, like a girl. Am I right? Be honest.”

Steven said nothing. How could he answer that?

“Ok, Michael continued, I’ll answer for you. You looked at my face, my hair, my eyes, and my smile and you thought I looked like a pretty girl.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’d kill for hair like yours.”

“Well, I don’t know how you’re going to take this.”

“Well, you’re not transgendered and you’re not gay … so nothing makes sense. I’m no good with riddles. Just tell me!”

“I’m actually a girl!”

“I already guessed that. You’re a girl, but you were born in the body of a boy! You are transgendered!”

“No, I was born a completely healthy girl.”

Steven sat silently. He had so many questions, but he didn’t know where to begin.

“I owe you an explanation, of course. Yes, I was born a normal female, but when I was very young I identified more with boys. I played with boy’s toys, preferred to have male friends, and thought I should have been born a boy. My parents took me to an analyst and, with, his advice they allowed me to start living as a boy. The doctor said it wouldn’t be appropriate to give me medication until I was older and was certain I still wanted to go down that path.

“But as time went by, I felt a change in myself and observed a big change in the boys around me. My fun, playful male friends became mischievous, competitive, and sometimes just mean. The kinship I felt with them began dissipating.

“I saw the girls differently, too. I had seen their baby dolls as silly child’s play, but I learned that they were actually acting out the female instincts they were born with, and they were practicing for the time they would be mothers. Also, whether I liked it or not, I had those same instincts, and I felt them becoming stronger. I felt an enchantment with babies and I realized how awesome was the girls’ ability to bring a child into the world, and that I also had that ability and I was preparing to give it up. The idea that I could be so foolish almost made me sick.

“The time came to decide if I wanted to go on the medication, but here was no way I wanted to give up the instincts and privileges I was born with. When I told but I told the doctor that I changed my mind, he actually seemed a bit disappointed! I hate to sound cynical, but I think it was about money with him. He agreed I should abandon becoming a boy. Still, how do I go back? Do I Show up at school one day and say, ‘Surprise! I’m a girl!?’ For a while, I went day by day without knowing what to do. Then my parents are arranged to enroll me in private school next year so, hopefully, I can transition there. So you can see why I had to ask you to keep this to yourself.”

“Yeah, of course. It would suck for the kids at school to hear about this. My lips are sealed. So, is ‘Michael’ your real name?”

“I was born ‘Melissa Rene Holmes’. Obviously, to live as a boy that had to change. My parents had my name was legally changed to ‘Michael James Holmes’. I can’t wait to change it back! I can’t believe I was so stupid!”

“Give yourself a break; you were a kid! But you were saying that your feelings toward me had been changing. How do you mean?”

“While all that was happening, we moved to this neighborhood. I met you and we started hanging out. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you helped me. You pushed me to my limits sometimes, but I felt safe and protected when I was with you, and I found that I wasn’t as limited as I thought.

“Gradually, I began to realize that my feelings toward you were more than friendship. Wonder why, right? Honestly, Steven, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Steven sat in stunned silence for several seconds. Finally, he responded, “Michael, I … don’t know what to say.”

“Steven, I know I’m putting you on the spot, so maybe we should act like this conversation never happened. I know that will seem strange, but I don’t want to lose my best friend. Believe me, no one will ever hear from me anything we say or do here today.”

“This is wild! Michael, just a few minutes ago when you were playing I watched your face. When you finished, you turned to me and asked me what I thought. I felt like you wanted to say more. Your eyes and your lips … well, it was just strange.”

“Steven, you’re leaving something out. You thought I wanted to say more? I’ve been totally open with you. It’s your turn.”

“OK, here goes. When you finished playing, you turned and smiled at me and asked me what I thought, Yes, I thought you were beautiful but, of course, you’re a boy. Still, I thought … just for a second … your lips were saying ‘kiss me’. I wanted to kiss you … I think … but I couldn’t get past the ‘fact’ … or the idea that you were a boy. I said the first thing that came to my mind. It’s true … you are beautiful. I can say that now. I had been sitting next to you feeling your body next to mine and looking at your beautiful face. I felt like I had to say something, you asked me what I thought, and that was the only thing on my mind. I know it sounds crazy.”

Michael’s body language and her smile showed her elation over his words. “It doesn’t sound crazy at all to me. I’m thrilled … I can’t stop smiling after hearing that you felt like that. I like you a lot, Steven, and I always felt good being with you, but it kind of hurt knowing you thought of me as just a friend. Now that you know the truth, I hope that eventually, you will begin to have feelings for me as … more than a friend.”

Steven hesitated. “I don’t know, Michael ….”

“Hold on. I hope you will call me ‘Melissa’ from now on; would you?”

“Sure, but not around other people for now, right?”

“Right, definitely!”

“OK, I’ll start over. I don’t know … Melissa. It feels kind of funny to call you that.”

“Yeah, but I hope that someday, when someone mentions the name “Michael”, you won’t even think about it, because you don’t know anyone by that name.”

“That’s going to take some time. Anyway, this makes me understand a few things that I couldn’t figure out before.”

“What things?”

“Well, when we were in the swamp and you said you had to go pee. You would disappear and be gone for a long time. Once or twice I started to go look for you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t! I always made sure to go quite a distance.”

“Then, one time we were in your room and you wanted to change your shirt. You went into the bathroom and locked the door. I thought you were just shy. Nothing else entered my mind.”

“I wear a bandage around my chest. It won’t be enough much longer.”

“When that happens, you’ll have to buy a bra. My best friend is gonna have to wear a bra. Mike … Melissa, this is the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard!”

Melissa smiled that smile again. Now free from any inhibitions about gender, Steven now felt free to think it was a beautiful smile. Melissa was beautiful! He admired the smile for a few seconds then noticed that his friend was moving ever so slightly closer. “Mike … Melissa, don’t!”

“If it will make it easier for you, I’ll change my name to ‘Mike-Melissa’. But you’re right, Steven, maybe we shouldn’t start off our new relationship with a kiss unless we’re certain it’s going to be a ‘kissing’ relationship.”

“But, you really want me to kiss you, don’t you Michael?”

“Who?”

“Sorry. You really want me to kiss you, don’t you Melissa?”

“I’ve wanted you to kiss me since the day we met. I’m not just your best friend … try to remember, I’m a girl, and you’re not just a boy, you’re an extremely good-looking boy and a wonderful person. There was no way I could help falling in love with you. I would like a kiss with some meaning behind it, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“A kiss with some meaning behind it?”

“I’ll be clear. I would like it when and if you kiss me, there’s love behind it.”

“Wait a minute. What about the times at school when the guys talked about girls. You talked just like one of the guys!”

“I wasn’t faking and I wasn’t lying. I’m attracted to girls also. Remember, I said, ‘I’m straight … mostly. I think I developed an attraction to girls because I’ve been in ‘boy’ mode so long. Yeah, I like pretty girls … a lot! I got along so well with them because, obviously, I could understand the way they think and feel.”

“Mike … Melissa, this is so hard to process. I can’t just flip a switch and go from, ‘my best friend Michael’ to ‘my girlfriend Melissa’.”

“I know, Steven. We probably shouldn’t kiss, but I’ve waited a long time and wondering what it would be like and I think maybe you are, too! It’s just a kiss. It doesn’t mean I’m your girlfriend, but I like the sound of the word.” She smiled and leaned just slightly toward Steven.

“You like the word ‘kiss’, or the word ‘girlfriend’?”

“Yes, Steven, ‘kiss’, ’girlfriend’, both words are exciting to me when the subject of conversation is you and me. I’m becoming more sure by the second that I’m in love with you! Maybe I’m being foolish, but Steven Mills, I’m in love with you! It was a lie when I said, ‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’ I fell in love with you the second I met you. The more we were together and the more I got to know you, the deeper in love I fell.”

Steven thought a few seconds, then asked, “Where are your parents?”

“My dad is in Europe on business, Mom is opening a new store on the other side of Houston, and it’s the housekeeper’s day off. Feels kinda lonesome, huh?”

“I must be insane. I like you, and now that I know you’re a girl. I can admit how pretty you actually are. Yet, I’m sitting here arguing against kissing you.”

“Yeah, boys can be not so bright.”

Steven smiled. “Hey! Hold on!”

“I’m sorry, Honey … oops!”

“OK, Honey, let me ask you this.”

Melissa smiled, then let out an almost imperceptible sigh of frustration. “Ok, what?”

“Would you be my girlfriend?”

Melissa’s eyes widened and she smiled. She flung her arms around Steven’s neck to kiss him. As their lips came together, she opened her mouth and held him like she would never let go.

Steven’s heart raced and his developing male body responded vigorously. His thoughts raced. “I’m kissing a boy! No, I’m kissing my new girlfriend.”

When they finally came ‘up for air’, Steven said, “Now if you tell me you were joking and you’re really a boy, I’m gonna kill you!”

“I’m all girl. I’ll prove it, Steven. Let’s stand up.”

They stood behind the piano bench and Melissa put her arms around Steven’s neck and pulled her body tightly against her. Putting her mouth close to his ear, she whispered, “I can feel your excitement. What do I feel like to you?”

Steven felt a beautifully feminine body fitted against his, He answered her question with a deep, passionate kiss. When he released her, she warned, “Oh, Steven, that’s so nice, but we have to be careful.”

“We can’t do that! We’re teenagers! What’s your plan for that, Melissa?”

“Abstinence!”

“Damn! Wait … does that mean what I think it means?”

“Since you said ‘damn’, I’m sure it does. You didn’t really have to ask, did you?”

“No.”

“Good. I don’t want a stupid boyfriend.”

“Wow, you’re direct!”

“Well, it’s just us guys here.”

“Hey, we’ve been friends a while, but we’ve never had a sleepover. Ask your parents if you can stay at my house tonight. I only have one bed in my room, but it’s queen size.”

“It would be interesting if you mentioned it to my parents and see what they come up with. We’d find out how many ways they have of saying ‘no’. Actually, please don’t let them find out that I told you.”

“Ok. That’s already covered when I said ‘My lips are sealed.’”

“When they’re around, don’t kiss me, don’t hold my hand, don’t call me ‘Sweetie’, and stuff like that.”

“How about, ‘Bitch’?”

“You don’t know my parents. That would get you a lifetime ban from my house.”

“OK, Melissa, do you know what I would like to see?”

“What’s that?”

“I would like to see my girlfriend dressed in something really cute. Wait … not too sexy … I might lose control. You do have other girls’ clothes other than what you’re wearing now, right?”

“Oh, you noticed my shorts and top! How do you know they’re girls’ clothes?”

“Well, it’s just obvious; especially the panties.”

Melissa blushed. “Oh, I’m sorry!”

“Yeah, just like a girl to put on a show for a guy then apologize for it!”

“Honestly, it wasn’t a show. As you can imagine, I had a lot on my mind. But, it’s just not lady-like to show too much.”

“Seriously, I’d like to see you dressed in something really cute.”

“OK. Come to my room and you can pick an outfit.”

Steven followed Melissa upstairs. As he walked up the stairs behind his friend, he thought about the beauty of the “women’s movement”. Living as a boy had done nothing to lessen her graceful comportment. He followed Melissa to her room, then through the room to what appeared to be a closet door. When the door was opened a new dimension appeared. It was a much larger bedroom brightly decorated in feminine colors. It was a huge contrast to the somewhat plain boy’s room Steven had been to in previous visits. Melissa pressed a button and two very wide doors began quietly sliding open, revealing dozens of colorful articles of girls’ clothing.

Melissa looked at Steven and smiled. “I think this means my parents are glad to have their little girl back! Pick something and I’ll model it for you.”

“Melissa, it’s all great, but I don’t know what to pick. You pick something you like.”

“OK.” Melissa picked out a blue mini-dress, grabbed some jewelry, and went into the restroom. She made enough noise with the door to make it clear that it was locked.

A pretty girl went into the bathroom, but a truly beautiful girl came out. She had a slinky blue mini dress, white 2” heels, two necklaces, and diamond drop earrings.

Steven stood stunned. “Oh my God, Melissa. You’re a vision! This is the guy I dragged through the woods? Melissa, if you had continued to change your sex, it would have been a shame! When I thought you were a boy, I said ‘you’re beautiful’, but now I see that was a massive understatement. I can’t think of a single girl at school who can come close to you! Quick … you’re still my girlfriend, right?”

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“I just don’t rate a girl like you. If people see us together, they’ll say, ‘What the hell does she see in him’!”

“I see a lot in you. If they can’t see how handsome you are, they have a problem to start with, but I see a lot more. I’ve had the advantage of spending a lot of time with you, and I’ve seen that you have character, strength, and intelligence. Now, I realize that I need to add ‘modest’ to your other wonderful qualities.”

“You overestimate me.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman in love!”

Steven was silent.

“Steven?”

“Oh! What?”

“Are you OK?”

“Well, looking at you and trying to figure all this out … I couldn’t concentrate. I was just looking at you!”

Melissa moved toward Steven and raised her arms as if to embrace him. Then, quickly she reversed course. “No, that will only lead to temptation!”

“Melissa … noooo!”

She smiled, approached him again, and put her arms around his neck. She bit him lightly on the neck and whispered, “One more kiss.”

Melissa hugged Steven with her entire body. If she had any inhibitions, they had dissipated, and she seemed determined to mesh their bodies together as one entity. Tightly she held, lest someone get a “foot in the door”; someone who would say “You’re not right for him. You’re too confused about your sexuality to get involved in a serious relationship.” Someone else might say, “He’s not right for you. He’s not certain whether you’re a boy or a girl.”

She didn’t want to hear any of it, and she dare not allow a millimeter of space to be between them that might let in any of these doubts. Yes, she was in love with her best friend.

As Steven kissed her his heart and his mind raced. ”This is not a dream! I’ll remember forever the day I kissed the most beautiful girl in the world! I’ve met a lot of girls, but I won the lottery with this one. She says she’s in love. I have to figure out what I’m in. Whatever it is, it feels damn good right now!”

They began the day as two buddies. Before the day ended, maybe they weren’t in love, but they were more than buddies, and they had their whole lives to figure out just what they were. They were only kids, and they couldn’t possibly foresee all the troubles and heartaches they would face, but, also unforeseen, were joyful, happy times to come. That’s life.