I'd obviously done or said something wrong. As a salesperson I was trained to notice small changes in a person's behavior, to see whether the approach I was taking was working. In Christina's case it wasn't. I just had no idea what it was I'd done to upset her. I'd seen her tense up and sensed she might even start crying again and I had absolutely no clue as to why. Was she one of those women who hated dishonesty in a man? Or did she find my flirty exchange with the woman from triple A to be a bit too much?

I rushed to catch up with her as she hurried into the sandwich shop only for her to come to a dead stop. The place was packed. I don't know why I was surprised but Christina definitely was and turning, almost in a panic, ran straight back into me.

I grabbed her to keep her from falling and felt her two soft breasts crushed against my chest. I had to admit it felt good. I hadn't gone out or had any real personal contact with a woman since I'd been in town. I was no playboy but I'd been with a number of women and Christina felt just like one of them, all soft and round in the right places.

I could feel her shudder and knew she was scared, whether it was of me or something else. I also knew I was reluctant to let her go. It felt like she belonged there in my arms. I knew the people around us were staring and I did the only thing I could think of to stop them. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face up and kissed her.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the stares turn to smiles as they turned their attention back to what they'd been doing. I turned my attention to what I was doing.

Christina's eyes had widened in shock and then they closed. She had gone stiff in my arms and then just melted against me. We fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and I could feel at first a tentative reaction of her lips as they parted just a bit and my tongue quickly sought that opening. I felt her hands reach behind me and pull me closer to her.

It slowly sank in that we were in public and my actions that had been designed to divert attention were now doing just the opposite. She must have sensed my hesitation because suddenly she broke the kiss and pushed me away.

I didn't have much experience, and most had been fumbling around with girls when I still thought I was a boy. So while I was telling myself no,no, my lips were saying yes, yes. I'm sure my look was more likely 'deer gets hit by car' than 'deer in the headlights.'

I pulled back to lick my wounds the moment he hesitated. He was licking his lips and smiling down at me. He still hadn't let go and I knew I'd look a fool if I struggled in his grasp. I slowly backed away as he relented and released his hold.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by Rocky and wanted to shout, 'won't be a rematch' except that something else was poking me in the gut telling me he definitely wanted one! I think my nipples were boring holes through my bra but another part of my anatomy painfully reminded me that I didn't have the place his unguided missile was seeking to find. I was embarrassed for him and for what I'd done to him. And, yes, a tiny part of me was proud I could elicit such a reaction. I just wish it hadn't been in the middle of a crowd!

While I'm sure it had only been moments the loud cough from the man behind Tony and his asking if we were going in or going out triggered the missile's self-destruct mechanism and it was now safe to step aside to let the man and his girlfriend through.

Tony placed his hand in the small of my back and guided me into the shop with him. I'm sure the women in the shop were wondering who the tart was wearing so much blush. But he wasn't going to let me turn and run again. It was subtle but his hand guided me to an empty table he spotted - right in the middle of the room.

Despite being over a year into my Real Life Test this was the first time someone had actually pulled out a chair and seated me. The clowns in the office were more likely to pull it out from under me. Not that there was a ghost of a chance that they'd ever be seen with me. Tony had no qualms yet I was sure he knew who I was. Everyone knew the 'woman' in the corner office though that was the last word they'd ever use.

I was doing it again. My therapist had worked with me to stop doing their work for them but when stressed, and boy was I stressed, I started in on myself.